A Wise man Learn English through story Level 3

as it is well known that the wise men in

the bible came from the east and as mr

touch and go bullet head

came from the east

mr bullet head was therefore a wise man

and if further proof of the matter is

needed

here we have it

mr b

was an editor

a bad temper was his only weakness

he did not consider his inability ever

to change his mind a weakness it was he

firmly believed his strong point

i have shown that touch and go bullet

head was a wise man

and the only occasion on which he was

not wise was when

leaving the proper home for all wise men

the east he moved to the city of

alexander the great onopolis or some

place of similar name

out west

but i must be fair

and say that when he made up his mind

finally to settle in that town he

thought that no newspaper and therefore

no editor existed in that particular

part of the country

when he started the newspaper which he

called

the teapot he expected to have no

competition

i feel sure that he would never have

thought of going to live in alexander

the great annopolis if he had known

that in alexander the great anopolis

there lived a gentleman named

john smith

if i rightly remember

who for many years had quietly grown fat

editing the alexander the great

annopolis daily news

it was only therefore because he was not

told about john smith that mr bullethead

found himself in alex

suppose we call it nopolis for short but

as he did

find himself there and rather than admit

to a mistake

he decided to remain

so he did remain and he did more

he got out his printing press rented an

office exactly opposite that of the

daily news

and the third morning after his arrival

saw the appearance of the first number

of the nopolis teapot

as nearly as i can remember

this was the name of the new paper

the leading article i must admit

was excellent and very severe

it was especially bitter about things in

general

and as for the editor of the daily news

he was cruelly criticized

some of bullet head’s remarks were

really so strong that i am astonished

that john smith managed to live through

the experience

i cannot hope to give all the teapots

words exactly but one paragraph

goes like this

oh yes

oh we can see

oh no doubt the editor opposite is such

a clever man

oh dear oh

goodness what is the world coming to

an article as bitter and well-formed as

this

exploded like a bomb among the peaceful

citizens of nopolis

groups of excited people met to discuss

it on street corners

everyone waited nervously for john

smith’s reply

next morning

it appeared in the daily news as follows

in the teapot of yesterday

we find the words

oh yes

oh we can see

oh no doubt

oh dear oh goodness

why the man is all oh

that explains why he reasons in a circle

and why there is neither beginning nor

end to him nor to anything he says

we really do not believe the man can

write a word that hasn’t an o in it

we wonder if this owing

is a habit of his

he came from the east in a great hurry

we wonder if he owes as much there as he

does here

oh

it is pitiful

i shall not attempt to describe the

anger of mr bullethead at these shocking

suggestions

he did not seem to be as angry at the

attack on his honesty as one would have

imagined

it was the attack on his style that

upset him

what

he

touch and go bullet head

not able to write a word without an o in

it

he would soon show smith that he was

mistaken

yes he would let mr john smith see that

he

bullet head could write a whole

paragraph even a whole article in which

that unfortunate vowel did not once

appear

but no

that

would be doing just what john smith

wanted

he

bullet head would make no change in his

style for the satisfaction of mr smith

in the world

the o

forever

he would keep the o

he would use oh whenever he liked

burning with this determination the

great touch and go in the next teapot

came out with this

simple paragraph

the editor of the teapot has the honor

of advising the editor of the daily news

that he

the teapot will take an opportunity in

tomorrow morning’s paper of proving to

him the daily news that he the teapot

both can and will be his own master in

his written style

he the teapot

will write for the particular

satisfaction of him

the daily news a leading article of some

length in which the beautiful letter o

shall most certainly not be avoided by

his the daily news’s most obedient

servant

the teapot

to carry out this

terrible threat which he had made

the great bullet head sat up all night

burning the midnight lamp oil and busy

with the really unequaled paragraph

which follows

so

ho john

told you so you know

don’t shout another time before you’re

out of the woods

does your mother know you’re out oh no

no so go home at once now john to your

old woods

go home to your woods

go

you won’t

oh pooh pooh

don’t do so you’ve got to go you know

so go at once and don’t go slow for

nobody owns you here you know

you’re only a cow a poor good for

nothing to nobody dog

don’t complain so you fool oh john how

you do look

told you so you know go and drown your

sorrows in a bowl

tired out of course by so wonderful a

piece of work the great touch and go

could do nothing more that night

he handed his article to the printer’s

boy who was waiting and walked slowly

home to bed

the printer’s boy to whom the article

was trusted

ran upstairs in a great hurry and

prepared to set the article in print

first of course as the opening word was

so

he looked for and found a capital s

pleased with this success he immediately

threw himself on the box where the

little ohms were kept

but

who can describe his feelings of horror

when his fingers came out of it

without a letter in them

who can tell of his astonishment and

anger when he realized that the little

box was

completely empty

not a single little o was in the little

o box

and

looking fearfully at the capital o box

he found that in exactly the same state

empty

he ran to his master

sir

said he breathlessly

i can set up nothing without no o’s

what do you mean by that said the chief

who was very angry at being kept from

his bed so late

well sir there isn’t an o in the office

neither a big one nor a little one

what has happened to all those that were

in the box

i don’t know sir said the boy but one of

those daily news people has been

wandering about here and i expect he’s

taken everyone

i haven’t a doubt of it replied the

chief angrily turning purple in the face

with anger

but i tell you what to do bob

that’s a good boy

you go over to the daily news the first

chance you get and take every one of

their eyes

right replied bob

i’ll go

i’ll show them a thing or two

but what about that paragraph it must go

in tonight you know if not there’ll be

trouble

trouble enough

is it a long paragraph bob

i shouldn’t call it a very long

paragraph

ah

well then do the best you can with it we

must get it ready said the chief who was

buried in work

just put in some other letter for o

nobody’s going to read the man’s

nonsense in any case

very well replied bob

here i go

and off he hurried

so

i have to put out their eyes do i

the fact is that although bob was only

12 years old and four feet high

he was always ready for a

fight the difficulty described here

happens quite frequently in printing

offices and i cannot explain it but the

fact is certain that when the difficulty

does come up it almost always happens

that the letter

x

is used instead of the letter which is

missing

the true reason perhaps is that x is the

most plentiful letter in the boxes

or it was so in old times for long

enough to make the use of it a habit

with printers

bob would have thought it quite wrong to

use any other letter than x

i shall have to x this paragraph

he said to himself as he read it over in

astonishment

but it’s just about the worst paragraph

of os that i’ve ever seen

so he did

x the paragraph

and that is how it was printed

next morning the population of nopolis

were all astonished to read in the

teapot the following

leading article

the confusion caused by this strange

article

cannot be imagined

the first idea in the minds of the

population was that some

devilish trick was hidden by the signs

and there was a general rush to bullet

head’s house for the purpose of

punishing him as he deserved

but that gentleman was nowhere to be

found

he had disappeared

no one could tell how

and not even his shadow

has ever been seen since

unable to find him people’s anger died

down at last

but there remained quite a variety of

opinions about this unhappy affair

one gentleman

thought the whole thing an

excellent joke

another could only suppose that bullet

head had decided to

express his anger in the most

imaginative way that he could

and to set an example to our children

suggested another

it was clear to all

that bullet head had been driven to

extreme action

and in fact since that editor could not

be found there was some talk of

punishing the other one

the more common feeling though was that

the affair was simply impossible to

explain

nobody could understand what had

happened

the opinion of bob the printer’s boy

who said nothing about his having x the

paragraph

did not receive as much attention as i

think it deserved

he said

that he had no doubt about the matter at

all that it was a clear case that mr

bullet head

never could be persuaded to drink like

other people but drank beer all the time

which filled him with wind and made him

x

across

in the x

dream

you