Small Talk in English what is polite and what is rude

hi i’m vanessa from speak english with

vanessa calm and today again i have my

husband dan hey and we’re going to be

continuing our conversations about

greeting people and today we’re going to

talk about small talk are you ready

ready let’s go alright Dan so when you

first meet someone what are some things

that are okay to talk about for small

talk what would you recommend that

English learners use when they first

meet people

sure well this is probably common in

lots of cultures but one of the first

and easiest things you can talk about is

the weather very easy yes right so you

may just say something like warm day

today right or looks like rain you know

just some kind of simple notification

about the weather or how you feel about

it you know so then the other person can

respond with like yeah it’s been hot all

week you know just like this little

back-and-forth

not very much substance just you know

it’s smog right exactly and I think

something else that you can use for

small talk is talk about your

environment so if you see a friend in

the grocery store you’re in the grocery

store there’s plenty of things to talk

about for small talk you could say oh

wow did you see those tomatoes on sale

I’m so excited or oh wow you have a lot

of ice cream are you going to have a

party or you could even just say what

are you shopping for yeah what are you

shopping for what are you going to buy

or if you’re in a coffee shop Oh what

kind of drink did you get this is a

latte it’s really good I recommend it

talk about your environment I think

that’s really common but what about

things that you shouldn’t talk about

what kind of things do you recommend

that our English learners not say

off-limits stuff yes what’s off-limits

yeah probably just people’s appearance

now this can be good or bad I’d say like

if somebody gets a haircut then it’s

very it’s okay to say something like wow

I really like your haircut you know you

can’t say wow I really hate your hair

of course but you could say you like

your haircut or the clothes but you

wouldn’t want to mention somebody’s like

facial appearance their body

yeah or their body like oh you’re

looking really chipper today

right even that might be not a very good

thing to say or did you lose weight I

had to do this way even though losing

weight is usually a good thing I think

if you ask someone oh did you lose

weight or oh it looks like you’ve gained

some weight usually those kinds of

things aren’t good to talk about so it’s

okay to talk about clothing or hair but

if you talk about their actual body

that’s not a very good idea yeah or even

things like you’re so beautiful I think

some people like that okay but some

people just feel kind of strange right

like oh he thinks I’m beautiful or she

thinks I’m very handsome or pretty or

whatever I think maybe is a little

uncomfortable right I think if someone

said to you Oh Dan wow you are so

handsome you might think do you want to

go on a date why why are you saying that

to me it’s well many people comment on

my hair oh the colors old ladies

especially old women and I feel a little

bit uncomfortable but your old women I’m

very relaxed so it’s okay right and I

think if someone said to me wow your

your eyes are so beautiful I would think

oh do you want to go on a date why are

you saying that to me it’s very strange

to comment on people’s physical

appearance unless you are part of their

family maybe a really close or maybe you

do want to date them yes if you do want

to date them then go ahead you can

compliment their body well thanks so

much for watching this conversation part

of the video in just a moment I’m going

to explain some of the natural

expressions that Dan and I use in this

video I’ll see you there bye

right welcome to the expression section

of today’s video I’m going to explain

two natural expressions that Dan and I

used in our conversation just a moment

ago about small talk the first word the

first X

is back and forth back and forth

now back and forth means going between

two things so for example you could say

we talked back and forth about going to

Brazil we had a conversation about going

to Brazil

we talked back and forth about going to

Brazil or you could say he pushed the

swing back and forth he pushed the swing

back and forth in the park this motion

of going between two things in a

conversation or in a physical thing like

a swing the second expression is the

words off-limits off-limits off-limits

means it’s something that you can’t do

you are forbidden from doing for example

politics is an off-limits topic or you

could say when my brother brought a

friend to my house for dinner he told

his friends my sister is off-limits you

can’t date her it is not a lot thanks so

much for watching this video and I hope

you enjoyed my conversation with Dan and

you learn some new expressions today if

this style of conversation and

expression videos are helpful to you

join our course the 30 days of English

where you can watch 12 conversation

videos between dan and I you can learn

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questions with personalized feedback I’m

looking forward to seeing you there

goodbye