Top 15 Jokes in English Can you understand them
Vanessa:
Hi, I am
Vanessa from SpeakEnglishWithVanessa.com.
Why is that funny? Let’s talk about it.
Do you understand jokes in English? Have you
ever watched an English TV show and people
were laughing and you thought, “What’s funny? Why
are they laughing?” As I mentioned in my video,
English Fluency Test, when you are sitting
down at a dinner table and people are
speaking in English and telling jokes and
laughing, and you can understand them,
you are fluent. You might not
think the jokes are funny,
but you can understand why they’re supposed to be
funny. That’s great. That is a sign of fluency.
A lot of jokes in English are puns or plays on
words. This means that there are two words that
sound similar, and we make a joke about those
words that sound similar. This takes a really
advanced level of English vocabulary and sometimes
even culture. So, today I want to help you learn
15 silly, clever, and sometimes
strange jokes in English.
Yes, you will learn the jokes, but more
importantly, you will learn vocabulary,
and also about the American culture that is
included in some of these jokes. Sometimes,
these plays on words are called dad jokes. That’s
because they are very silly and, stereotypically,
dads use these kinds of jokes and their children
go, “Ha, ha, ha, Dad, you’re so funny.” It’s a
little funny. Maybe it’s more just silly.
So, today I have asked my husband, Dan,
who is a dad, we have two children, to read these
jokes. We’ll first listen to him say these jokes,
and then I will explain them to you. I
hope that they will become clear and your
vocabulary will grow step-by-step.
Let’s get started with the first one.
Dan:
Did you know
the first French fries weren’t actually cooked
in France? They were cooked in grease. Did you
know the first French fries weren’t actually
cooked in France? They were cooked in grease.
Vanessa:
Why is this a joke? There are two countries,
France and Greece, but the joke here is about the
word, grease. In English, grease is two things.
It could be a country, the country of Greece,
or it can be oil. We say that French fries,
potato chips, these types of foods are greasy or
oily. So, in this joke, we are expecting that the
listener understands both of those meanings of
the word, grease. We cook French fries in oil or
in grease, not the country, but the type of oil.
Do you get the idea about these jokes, these puns,
or plays on words? They really expect you to
be able to have an advanced level of knowing
different vocabularies and different ideas that
sound the same. We’re going to listen to Dan,
my husband, say that joke again, and I hope that
this time you’ll understand it. Let’s watch.
Dan:
Did you
know the first French fries weren’t actually
cooked in France? They were cooked in grease.
Vanessa:
Did you get it? All right,
let’s go to joke number two.
Dan:
Hey, I’m reading a book about antigravity. It’s
impossible to put down. Hey, I’m reading a book
about antigravity. It’s impossible to put down.
Vanessa:
Why is this a joke? The joke is about the phrasal
verb, to put down. We can use this figuratively or
literally. Literally, to put something down
means that you are setting it on a surface,
maybe to put something on a table,
to put the book down on the table.
But what is this book about? Antigravity.
So, it’s a little bit of a joke here about
the subject of the book. But there is a second
meaning for to put down a book. When we say,
“I loved that book so much, I couldn’t put it
down,” it means that I couldn’t stop reading it.
So, this is a common phrasal verb that we use for
reading. I love this book. I couldn’t put it down.
That means I didn’t want to stop. But here, the
clever joke is that the book is about antigravity,
which means it’s impossible to set something on a
surface with no gravity. So, the joke is about the
figurative or literal use of this phrasal verb, to
put down. Let’s watch Dan say this joke one more
time, and I hope you’ll enjoy it. Let’s watch.
Dan:
Hey, I’m reading a book about
antigravity. It’s impossible to put down.
Vanessa:
Did you get it?
I hope so. Let’s go on to our third joke.
Dan:
Why did the man fall down the well? Because he
couldn’t see that well. Why did the man fall down
the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
Vanessa:
Do you know what a well is? That is essential for
understanding this joke. A well is a deep hole
where you can get water from. So, our ancestors
most likely had a well on their farm or somewhere
in their village and they would take a bucket and
lower it into the well and get some water. So,
at the beginning of this joke, it says, “Why did
the man fall down the well?” This is the literal
kind of well, where you get water. He fell down
the well. And the answer is because he couldn’t
see that well. Well, the joke here is about the
final part of this phrase, to see that well.
We can use this literally to mean he couldn’t
visually, maybe he’s blind, maybe there was some
leaves covering the hole and he fell down into
it, he couldn’t see that well. He couldn’t see
the well that was there. But, we can use
this figuratively as well. If you say,
“I can’t see that well,” it means my vision is
poor. I have poor vision. I can’t see that well.
I need to wear glasses. I can’t see that well.
This is the joke here. Talking about a well
where you can get water and well to mean good.
I can’t see that good, or I can’t see that well,
or I can’t see that well, the hole in the ground.
All right, let’s listen to Dan say this joke one
more time.
Dan:
Why did the man fall down the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
Vanessa:
Did you get it? I hope so.
Let’s go on to our fourth joke.
Dan:
Why are spiders so smart? They can find everything
on the web. Why are spiders so smart? They can
find everything on the web.
Vanessa:
What’s so funny about this joke? Well, what
is a spider’s home? It is a spider’s web.
But there are two meanings of web. The first
one is a spider’s home. It’s a spider web. So,
the spider is on its web. It knows all of
the flies and all of the things that are
on its web. But the second meaning
of web is what makes this joke funny.
Do you know what WWW stands for? World Wide
Web. This is another way to say the internet.
On the web is kind of a casual or slang way to
say on the internet. If someone asks, “How did
you learn English?” You might say, “On the web
with Vanessa.” That means online with Vanessa.
So, it’s using this dual meaning of web.
A spider knows everything about its home,
about its web, but it also learned a
lot of information on the internet,
on the web. Let’s listen to Dan say this one
more time, and then we’ll go to the next joke.
Dan:
Why are spiders so smart? They
can find everything on the web.
Vanessa:
Did you get it? Let’s go to the next
one about a scarecrow. Let’s listen.
Dan:
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
He was outstanding in his field.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
He was outstanding in his field.
Vanessa:
In case you didn’t know, it’s essential
for this joke, this is a scarecrow.
It’s usually in the middle of a farmer’s field
to scare away birds or some other kind of thing
that’s going to hurt the crops. Well, the joke
here is not necessarily about the word scarecrow,
but it’s about what the scarecrow does.
Where is the scarecrow? It is standing
in the field. But sometimes we use an extra
word to say, “Oh, I’m out in my car. I’m out
standing in that field. I’m out somewhere,” to
say, “I am not at home. I am away somewhere.” And
that’s what this joke says. He was out standing
in the field. That’s what the scarecrow was doing.
But the joke here is about another meaning
for the word out standing. In the joke,
you see it as two words. He was out, out of the
house. He was out standing in the field. But if
we put that together, he was outstanding. This
means amazing. He was outstanding. You are an
outstanding student. He was outstanding in
the field or in his field. Field also has a
double meaning. It could be a place where
you grow wheat or you grow corn, a field,
or it can be your career. The medical field. The
educational field. This is the general term for
where you work. So, if you are outstanding in
the medical field, that means you are an amazing
researcher or an amazing doctor. You are amazing
in your field. And that’s what the scarecrow is.
He is outstanding in the field. Very silly.
All right, let’s watch Dan say this again.
Dan:
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
He was outstanding in his field.
Vanessa:
Did you get it? I hope so.
Let’s go to our next joke.
Dan:
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was too tired. Why couldn’t the bicycle
stand up by itself? It was too tired.
Vanessa:
Do you know this double meaning,
too tired? You might know that in English, there
are three different ways to spell to, T-O, T-O-O,
and T-W-O. They all have different meanings
and they’re used grammatically different in
sentences. And that’s what’s happening here.
We’re making a play on words on this expression,
too tired. How many wheels
or tires does a bike have?
Two. So, that’s one meaning. The bike has two
tires. But is there another meaning for the word,
tired? Yep. It means that you have no energy.
You are maybe sleepy or exhausted. Oh, I am
too tired to do any more work. Aha. And that’s
what’s happening here. The bike can’t stand up
because it only has two tires or two wheels, and
also because it’s so exhausted. It’s so sleepy.
It’s too tired. Very silly. This is a pun or a
play on words. All right, let’s watch Dan say it
one more time.
Dan:
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand
up by itself? It was too tired.
Vanessa:
Did you get it? I hope so. Let’s
go on to joke number seven.
Dan:
My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now,
his business is toast. My friend’s bakery burned
down last night. Now, his business is toast.
Vanessa:
There’s one important thing at the beginning
of this joke. What burned down? It wasn’t
a fire department. It wasn’t a house. It wasn’t
an office. It was a bakery. A bakery sells what?
Bread, and pastries, and these types of
things. And after the bakery burned down,
her business is toast. Do you know what
toast is? This is the key to this joke
because there are two meanings for the word,
toast. The first one is warm, crispy bread.
You could cut a slice of bread and put it in the
toaster, and the bread will have some brown marks
on it and it will be warm and toasty. You can
put some butter on it. It’s great. This is toast.
But there is a more figurative meaning for
toast as well. That second meaning means
ruined. For example, you might say, “When
my mom finds out that I broke that window,
I’m toast.” That means my life is ruined. I will
be in so much trouble when my mom finds out that I
broke that window. Oh, I’m toast. This is the same
for the business because the business burned down.
She can’t have a business anymore. So, her
business is toast. But it’s also funny because
she sells bread, and this is the crispy warm,
toasted bread. Little silly, huh? All right,
let’s listen to Dan say this one more time.
Dan:
My friend’s bakery burned down last
night. Now, his business is toast.
Vanessa:
Did you get it? The business is
toast. Let’s go on to our eighth joke.
Dan:
What does a nosy pepper do? It gets jalapeno
business. What does a nosy pepper do?
It gets jalapeno business.
Vanessa:
All right. This joke is starting to get a little
more advanced. You need to know two things or
rather, three things, to understand this joke. The
first is the word, nosy. If I say, “My neighbor
is so nosy,” would you know what that means? It
means that she’s always looking out her windows
and seeing, oh, Vanessa drove away in her car.
I wonder where she’s going? She didn’t go with
her children. Where is she going? This means that
they are too curious. This is very annoying. When
someone asks too many questions and it kind of
gets your nerves, they’re too nosy. So, that’s the
first part. And we have a nosy pepper. This is a
type of food, usually spicy, sometimes not, like a
bell pepper, but this is a type of food, the nosy
pepper. But our key to this joke is the ending.
A jalapeno is a really spicy pepper. This pepper
is really common in the US and we use it in
salsas, in different types of Mexican dishes, a
jalapeno. So, we say it gets jalapeno business.
Why are we saying it gets spicy pepper business?
Well, you need to have a deep knowledge of casual
slang in English. This also, the word jalapeno,
also sounds like all up in your business. It gets
all up in your business. This phrase to get all up
in your business means to be nosy. My neighbor is
always getting all up in my business. It doesn’t
mean my work, my business. It just means my life.
She is too nosy. She’s asking too many
questions. She’s always getting all up
in my business and I just want some space. I want
some privacy. Stop getting all up in my business.
This is a very casual expression, so
we sometimes say this with attitude,
especially when we’re telling someone, “Step back,
don’t get all up in my business.” You might say
this with a little attitude, and that’s kind of
what’s happening in this joke when it says, it
gets all up in your business, jalapeno business.
All up in your business, jalapeno business.
These jokes can be quite deep.
Right? And without this knowledge of
casual expressions of hot peppers, you
might not understand why it’s funny. So,
that’s why I’m here to help you. All right,
let’s listen to Dan say this one more time.
Dan:
What does a nosy pepper do?
It gets jalapeno business.
Vanessa:
Did you get it? Let’s go to joke
number nine about stairs. Let’s listen.
Dan:
I don’t trust
stairs. They’re always up to something. I don’t
trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
Vanessa:
Do you know what stairs are? It’s what
you use to go up to the second floor or the third
floor of a building. You need to go up the stairs.
And the joke here is about the expression, to go
up to something or to be up to something. When you
are walking up the stairs, you are going up to the
second floor. You are going up to the third floor.
Of course, when you go up the stairs, there is
something up there. It’s not stairs leading to
nowhere, just to empty space. No, there is another
level of the building or another level of your
house up there. Of course, there’s something up
there. So, to go up to something means to move
up. But the second figurative meaning of this
is what makes this joke funny. The expression,
to be up to something, means that you are
doing something sneaky, to be up to something.
So, if you are a parent and you see your two
children whispering, and they’re looking in
the kitchen, you think, “Ugh, what are they up
to? They are up to something.” That means they
have a clever plan. They are trying to be
sneaky. And then you see them trying to go
into the cupboard and eat some cookies. This
was their plan, to try to secretly eat some
more cookies. They were trying to be sneaky.
And we use that expression, up to something.
They’re up to something. Sometimes we say, they
are up to no good. Because usually when you are
up to something, it means that something that
you’re doing is bad, or risky, or not allowed,
forbidden. So, you’re up to something.
Hmm. And that’s what’s happening here.
It’s a clever joke about stairs. Of course they
lead somewhere. They go up to the second floor,
but I don’t trust stairs because they have a
sneaky plan. They are planning something. I don’t
trust them. They are up to something. All right,
let’s listen to Dan say this joke one more time.
Dan:
I don’t trust
stairs. They’re always up to something.
Vanessa:
Did you get it? All right, let’s
go to our 10th joke about a
train.
Dan:
What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?
A choo choo train. What do you call a train
carrying bubblegum? A choo choo train
Vanessa:
Compared to our previous joke, this
joke is a little bit more simple.
A choo choo train. Do you know what you
do when you put bubble gum in your mouth?
You chew the gum. That’s the
action. I am chewing the gum.
But we also have a sound or a word for the
sound a train makes. When a train is going
choo choo, this is the sound of the whistle of
a train. Choo choo, which is also the same as
to chew something. So, here is the joke.
The difference between chewing bubble gum
and the sound a train makes, choo choo. Great.
I hope you got it. Let’s listen to Dan say it.
Dan:
What do you call a train
carrying bubblegum? A choo choo train.
Vanessa:
Did you get it? I hope so. Let’s
go to our 11th joke about ducks.
Dan:
What time do ducks wake up? At the quack of dawn.
What time do ducks wake up? At the quack of dawn.
Vanessa:
Do you know what sound ducks make? Quack, quack,
quack, quack. If you’re interested in sounds that
other animals make, I made this video about
common sounds in English. Animal sounds,
sounds that items make, sounds that people make
when we’re frustrated, these types of sounds,
very important for English conversations in daily
life. But a sound that a duck makes is quack,
quack, quack. So, here’s our first meaning, quack.
But do you know this full expression? Quack of
dawn sounds like the full expression, crack of
dawn. Crack of dawn, it’s an expression that means
first thing in the morning. When the sun comes
up, boom, that is the crack of dawn. Usually, it
is extremely early in the morning. And when we use
that expression, we’re trying to imply that, “Oh,
I had to wake up so early. I had to wake up at
the crack of dawn to get to the airport to catch
my flight.” The crack of dawn. Boom. The moment
that there’s a little bit of light is the crack of
dawn. So, that’s what this joke is talking about,
but they substitute crack and quack because that’s
what ducks say. The quack of dawn. All right,
let’s listen to Dan say this one more time.
Dan:
What time do ducks wake up? At the quack of dawn.
Vanessa:
Did you get it? I hope so.
Let’s go to our next joke.
Dan:
I used to hate facial hair, but then it
grew on me. I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.
Vanessa:
Do you know what facial hair is? That is like a
beard or a mustache, facial hair. And some people
don’t like it. Some people like it. It’s just
personal preference or maybe cultural preference
sometimes. But what is the joke here? The joke
is about the phrasal verb, to grow on. Where
does your hair grow? Well, it grows on your head.
It grows on you. It is actually growing on you.
But there’s a figurative meaning for it to
grow on as well. If you say, “Yeah, I used
to not like Vanessa’s classes,” I hope that’s
not true. “I used to not like Vanessa’s classes,
but the more I watched them, they grew on me.”
They, my classes, my lessons, grew on you. That
means that over time you learned to like them.
You became more and more comfortable and it became
something that you liked. Same for facial hair.
I used to hate facial hair, beards, mustaches,
but then they grew on me. Okay. We’re talking
about, literally, facial hair grows on you,
but also that figurative idea that, over time, I
learned to like it. It grew on me. Let’s listen to
Dan say this one more time.
Dan:
I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.
Vanessa:
Did you get it? I hope so. These
last three jokes are more advanced than the others
because you need to know some things very specific
about American culture, but don’t worry. I’m here
to help you. Let’s get started with the next one
and listen to Dan say it.
Dan:
Hey, Vanessa.
Vanessa:
What?
Dan:
What did Tennessee?
Vanessa:
What?
Dan:
The same thing that Arkansas. Hey, Vanessa.
Vanessa:
What?
Dan:
What did Tennessee?
Vanessa:
What?
Dan:
The same thing that Arkansas.
Vanessa:
These are both states. Tennessee and Arkansas
are states. Don’t be fooled by the spelling
of Arkansas. There is an S at the end, but
we pronounce it Arkansas, Arkansas. Listen
carefully to the end of these states, Tennessee,
Arkansas. Do you know this verb, to see with your
eyes? You see something. But what is that
in the past tense? If I said, “Today, I see
the beautiful weather. Yesterday, I, the beautiful
weather. Yesterday, I saw the beautiful weather.”
This is in a regular verb in the present, it is
to see. And in the past, it is saw. So, here we
have a joke about both of these. Let me give you
a sample sentence, and I want to see if you can
understand it a little bit better. What did you
see? I don’t know what I saw. What did you see?
I don’t know what I saw.
So, let’s pretend that
Tena and Arkin are people and we can substitute I.
What did you see? I don’t know what I saw. Let’s
substitute you and I for these people. What did
Tena see? The same thing as Arkin saw. Very silly.
But in order to understand this joke, you need
to know what these states are. You need to know
the verb tenses of the verb, saw. So, there is a
deep level of understanding that needs to happen
in order to laugh at this joke. And if you heard
someone say this in, for example, you’re watching
The Big Bang Theory and you hear someone say
a joke like this, and everyone is laughing,
I hope that now you will feel a little more
comfortable. All right, let’s listen to Dan
say this joke one more time.
Dan:
Hey, Vanessa.
Vanessa:
What?
Dan:
What did Tennessee?
Vanessa:
What?
Dan:
The same thing that Arkansas.
Vanessa:
Did you get it? I hope so. Let’s
go on to our 14th advanced joke.
Dan:
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One’s really heavy, and the
other one’s a little lighter.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a
Zippo? One’s really heavy, and the other one’s
a little lighter.
Vanessa:
To understand this joke, you need to
know that a common brand of lighter is
Zippo. This is the brand of the lighter.
Well, we know that hippos are heavy animals
and Zippos are a type of a lighter. There
are two meanings of the word, lighter.
The opposite of heavy is light, heavy
and light, or it is an item, a lighter.
So, here is where the cleverness of the joke is.
There’s two meanings, something that’s not heavy,
and something that gives fire is a lighter. Let’s
listen to Dan say this one more time and we’ll go
on to our final joke.
Dan:
What’s the difference between a hippo and a
Zippo? One’s really heavy, and the other one’s
a little lighter.
Vanessa:
Did you get it? I hope so. All right. I
want you to take a deep breath before we
go on to our final, 15th joke. This is deeply
rooted in American culture. So, take a breath,
and let’s listen to Dan say it.
Dan:
One day, a Viking named Rudolph the Red looked
out the window and said, “It’s going to rain.”
His wife said, “How do you know?” He said,
“Because Rudolph, the Red-Nose Reindeer.”
One day, a Viking named Rudolph the
Red looked out the window and said,
“It’s going to rain.” His wife said, “How
do you know?” He said, “Because Rudolph,
the Red-Nose Reindeer.”
Vanessa:
At Christmas time in the US, and
maybe in other countries as well,
most children watch this classic film and
listen to this Christmas song, Rudolph,
the Red-Nosed Reindeer. A reindeer is a kind
of animal, like a deer. It has antlers and it
lives in cold countries, and Rudolph, the name of
this reindeer, is special because he has a red,
shiny nose. And in the song, and in
this film, he helps Santa find his way
in a storm to be able to deliver presents. So,
this story is about a special reindeer. And the
silly thing or the funny thing about this joke
is that it is about a man named Rudolph the Red.
Rudolph the Red thinks that he is knowledgeable
about the weather. He says, “I know about
rain. I know about rain.” But the way that he
says, it sounds like the name of this character
because he calls his wife a kind, loving name.
Sometimes husbands and wives will call each other,
dear, honey, sweetie, these kinds of kind names.
So, he calls his wife, dear. That is what he’s
saying to her instead of her name. So, when we
say the full phrase out loud, listen to this,
Rudolph the Red, that’s this guy’s name, Rudolph
the Red knows rain, dear. But what does this
sound like? Rudolph, the Red-Nose Reindeer.
(singing) Most kids know this song. It is a
common Christmas song. And I hope that now you
can dig a little bit deeper in American culture
and also realize why people might laugh at this
joke. Let’s listen to Dan say this one more time.
Dan:
One day, a Viking named Rudolph
the Red looked out the window and said, “It’s
going to rain.” His wife said, “How do you know?”
He said, “Because Rudolph, the Red-Nose Reindeer.”
Vanessa:
Did you get it? I hope so. This was a lot of
jokes, a lot of vocabulary, and also a lot of
culture. I hope that this lesson was helpful for
you. Before we go, I have a final test for you.
I want to know, can you tell me why is this
joke funny. let me know in the comments what
you think. I’m going to read it out loud,
and then I want you to write in the comments
why you think it’s funny. What time did
the man go to the dentist? 2:30. 2:30.
Hmm. Why is this joke funny or silly, just a pun,
a play on words? Let me know in the comments,
and I hope that you enjoyed this lesson.
Thank you so much for learning English with
me and I’ll see you again next Friday for a
new lesson here on my YouTube channel. Bye.
The next step is to download my free ebook, 5
Steps to Becoming a Confident English Speaker.
You’ll learn what you need to do
to speak confidently and fluently.
Don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel
for more free lessons. Thanks so much. Bye.