One of The Most Eye Opening Speeches Ever Oprah Winfrey

it was very difficult for me to figure

out

where my boundaries were because

i’d grown up poor and didn’t have

anything so it’s easy when you don’t

have anything and people ask you for

money

they say i need 500 you say i don’t have

it because i’m just trying to get my

rent paid

it’s harder when your multi-billion

dollar salary is now in the paper and

you get a lot of friends and cousins you

didn’t have before

so how do you set boundaries for

yourself i was having trouble setting

boundaries myself for myself for even

strangers

people would just show up at my door in

chicago and say oh bro i left my husband

please help me

and i would because she knows i haven’t

so what i learned was is that oh

the reason why people keep showing up is

because my intention is to make them

think that i’m such a nice person

that you can ask me for anything

you can get me to do anything i’m gonna

say yes i’m gonna say

yes so when stevie called me this time

i thought i’d try out my first no on

stevie let’s start big

he wanted me to donate some money to a

charity and i didn’t want to donate to

the charity

because i have my own charities and i

care about a lot of people but the the

problem is when you

you have money everybody thinks you just

want to give to everything so every

letter i ever get

starts with we know you love the

children

yes i do love the children but somebody

else is going to have to help the

children

so i said to stevie uh i said to stevie

no

and um as a person who has that disease

to please i was waiting for him then

just to say

i will never speak to you again

i will never call you i will never sing

a song for you

and he didn’t he just said okay

okay okay it’s okay

he said okay check you later and

what i learned from that is many times

you will have angst

and worry about things and

put yourself in a state when the other

person really isn’t even thinking about

you

so learning that i could

specifically determine for myself

what the boundaries were for me

what i wanted to do give my money

give my time give of my service to who i

wanted to give it to

when i did that i get to make that

decision and just because you get a

hundred requests a week

doesn’t mean you have to try to fulfill

all of that

just because you have all of these

demands on

your time and on you doesn’t mean that

you

have to say yes you get to decide

because you’re the master of your fate

the captain of your soul as william

ernest henley said

in invictus and understanding that

really changed the meaning of my life in

that i was not

no longer driven by what other people

wanted me to do

but took charge of my own destiny making

choices based upon

what do i feel is the next right

move for me quincy jones discovered me

and it’s so interesting to me because

when i was uh working as a television

news woman in baltimore

and really all i wanted to do was be in

actors but i was

doing television and i felt at the time

like i can’t quit this job because this

is what everybody else wants to do

and if i quit this job what am i going

to do

um and i was going to a speech coach at

the time that the station had sent me to

they

you know they have the broadcasting

school they sent everybody the same

woman

and i was telling her you know i really

don’t want to do this what i really want

to do

is act and she says my dear you don’t

want to act because if you wanted to act

you’d be doing it what you want to be my

dear is a star

because if you wanted to act you’d be

waiting tables in new york you’d be and

i thought now why am i going to wait

tables if i’m already working in tv

so i said well what i think is going to

happen

is i will be discovered because i want

it so badly somebody’s going to have to

discover me

and she said you just dream you dream

you’re a dreamer so when it happened

i called her up i said you will not

believe this

i got discovered and it really was a

discovery it’s like one of those

lana turner stories only um wasn’t a

drugstore he was uh in his hotel room

saw me on tv it was unbelievable the

interesting thing about that is that

i i truly believe that

thoughts are the greatest vehicle

to change power and success in the world

everything begins with thoughts i mean

the chairs that we’re sitting in the

room that we’re in

all started because somebody thought it

so i thought up the color purple for

myself

i know this is going to sound strange to

you i read the book

i got so many copies of that book i

passed the book around

everybody i knew if i was on the bus i’d

pass it out to people

and when i heard that there was going to

be a movie i started

i started talking it up for myself i

didn’t know quincy jones or steven

spielberg

or how on earth i would get in this

movie i’d never acted in my life

but i i felt it so intensely that i had

to be a part of that movie i just

i i really do believe i created it for

myself i wanted it more than

anything in the world and would have

done anything to do it

anything to do it turn your wounds

into wisdom you will be wounded many

times in your life

you’ll make mistakes some people will

call them failures

but i have learned that failure is

really god’s way of saying

excuse me you’re moving in the wrong

direction

it’s just an experience

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just an experience i remember being

taken off the air in baltimore

being told that i was no longer be being

fit for television

and that i could not anchor the news

because i used to go out on the stories

and my own truth was even though i’m not

a weeper

i would cry for the people in the

stories and uh

which really wasn’t very effective as a

news reporter to be covering a fire

and uh crying because the people lost

their house

and it wasn’t until they i was demoted

as

a on-air anchor woman and thrown into

the talk show

arena to get rid of me that i allowed my

own truth to come through and the first

day i was on the air

doing my first talk show back in 1978 it

felt like breathing which is what your

true passion should feel like it should

be so

natural to you and so i took what had

been a mistake

what had been perceived as a failure

with my career

as an anchor woman in the news business

and turned it into a talk show career

that’s

done okay for me what drives you to keep

working so hard you could

you know you and i are in the 60s

category

and so when you’re in your 60s you know

you’ve lived more than you’re going to

live

yeah realistically so when you realize

you’ve lived more than you’re going to

live you can say why not

relax a little bit why not just ease up

why have you decided to even work harder

than you did before

because i think david that everybody you

know the thing that works for me

all these years whether it was the

magazine or

which i still have or whether it was

the show i could i understood that

there’s a common denominator in the

human experience

and i want the same thing you want which

is the same thing you want and you want

what we all want

is to be able to live out

the truest highest expression of

ourselves

as a human being that doesn’t end until

you take your last breath

what is the truest highest vision that

you hold for yourself

no matter where you are in your life

there’s always the next level there’s

always the next level

to the last breath so i feel that i

always

knew that i would get be done with the

show when i felt like

oh i’ve said as much as i could say here

on this platform and then how will i be

used

i feel that until you have used your

value as a human being you’re not done i

first started as a broadcaster i was 19

very insecure

thrown into television pretending to be

barbara walters looking nothing like her

and still going to college so i do all

my classes in the morning

from eight to one and then the afternoon

i work from two to ten

and did the six o’clock news and would

stay up and study and all that stuff

you know until one two or three o’clock

in the morning and then just start the

routine all over again

and my classmates were so jealous of me

that i remember like

taking my little 115 paycheck and

um at the time i thought it was really a

lot but

taking 115 and trying to appease them i

would like

oh anytime anybody needing money i was

always offering oh you need ten dollars

or taking them out for pizza ordering

pizza for the class and things like that

trying to that whole disease to please

that’s where it was the worst for me i

think because

i wanted to be accepted by them and

could not be because

first of all i didn’t have the time they

wanted wanted me to pledge and i didn’t

have the time to pledge i was

i didn’t have the time to be a part of

all the other college activities or a

part of that whole

lifestyle and it was very difficult for

me socially really one of the worst

times of my life because i was trying to

fit in

in school and be a part of that culture

but also trying to build a career

in television it’s very difficult for me

to even

see myself as successful because i still

see myself as in the process

of becoming successful to me successful

is getting to the point where you are

absolutely comfortable with yourself

and it does not matter how many things

you have acquired

the ability to learn to say no and not

to feel guilty about it

to me is about the greatest success i

have achieved

the fact that i have you know in the

public side done whatever

is fine it’s all a part of a process for

for growing for me

but to me to have the in the kind of

internal strength

and internal courage it takes to say no

i will not let you treat me this way

is what success is all about it’s the

same thing that prevents

you from being abused as a child that

prevents you from being abused as an

adult

that allows you to build success for

yourself i will not be treated this way

i demand

only the best for myself you are worthy

to say no

you’re work that it’s okay if you say no

it’s okay if you say no and then people

don’t like you

that’s really okay the important thing

is how you feel about what you’re doing

how you feel about yourself it’s a long

struggle though

it’s a long struggle and i’m just hoping

that you know in the work that i do on

the show

and the speaking that i do around the

country and that

young people who are watching this can

get the lesson sooner than i did

because it’s painful because you keep

repeating it over and over and over

until you get it right and what i found

is that every time you have to repeat

the lesson

it gets worse because it’s you know it’s

i i call it

god trying to get your attention the

universe trying to get your attention so

we didn’t get your attention the first

time so we’re gonna have to hit you a

little harder this time so

i’m still doing it i’m still learning

create the highest grandest

vision possible for your life because

you become what you believe when i was a

little girl

mississippi growing up on the farm only

buckwheat is a role model

watching my grandmother boil clothes in

a big iron pot

through the screen door because we

didn’t have a washing machine and made

everything we had

i watched her and realized somehow

inside myself and the spirit of myself

that although this was segregated

mississippi

and i was colored and

female that my life could be bigger

greater than what i saw i remember being

four or five years old i certainly

couldn’t articulate it but it was a

feeling

and a feeling that i allowed myself to

follow

i allowed myself to follow it because if

you were to ask me what is the secret to

my success

it is because i understand that there is

a power greater than myself

that rules my life

and in life in life

if you can be still long enough in

in all of your endeavors the good times

the hard times

to connect yourself to the source

i call it god you can call it whatever

you want to the force nature

allah the power if you can connect

yourself to the source and allow

the energy that is your personality your

life force to be connected to the

greater force

anything is possible for you

i am proof of that i think that my life

the fact that i was

born where i was born in the time that i

was and have been able to do what i’ve

done

speaks to the possibility not that i am

special

but that it could be done

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i have paid attention to my life because

i understand

that my life just like your life is

always

speaking to you where you are in the

language

with the people with the circumstances

and experiences

that you can understand and interpret if

you are willing to see

that always life

god is speaking to you

now it took me a while to actually

really

get this and to understand it but once i

did

i started paying attention to everything

and one of the reasons why i can now

accept the fact

that i can offer my

gatherings of information and wisdom and

call myself a spiritual teacher

is that every single person whoever came

on my show and i hear there’s like

37 000 guests i’ve talked to

a lot of them came from dysfunction and

a lot of them wouldn’t appear to be

teachers but every one of them had

something to say

that was meaningful and valuable and

that i could use

to grow myself into

the best of myself which is what all of

our jobs are

your number one job is to become more of

yourself

and to grow yourself into the best of

yourself

i remember when i started the school and

i said to my uh beloved

friend maya angelou i said maya i’m so

i’m just so proud that i was able to

create the school i said this is going

to be my greatest legacy

and maya said to me you have no idea

because your legacy

is every life you’ve touched and that

shifted

the way i saw legacy or what you leave

behind or what you do

because maya was explaining to me that

you know

over all the years of watching your show

everybody who decided that they were

going to go back to school or lose

weight

or no longer hit their children or get

out of a bad marriage

all of those people who have seen and

experienced your voice

and the same thing with everybody here

your legacy

is every life that you’ve touched and we

like to think of it i know

you have done amazing things with your

philanthropy

we like to think that these great

philanthropic moments

are the ones that leave the impact or

will make the huge difference in the

world but it’s really what you do every

day

it’s how you use your life to

be a light to somebody else’s you know

and it’s how

you use your work as an expression of

your own art whatever that is

close your eyes for a moment will you

please

and breathe with me just close your eyes

and if you will

put your thumb to your middle finger

and gather your other fingers around and

let’s feel

the vibration and pulse of your personal

energy

as you take three deep breaths with me

inhale

and as you exhale just feel

the vibration energy

blood pulsating through

your body through you and another inhale

and another inhale

[Music]

and keep your eyes closed

and let’s just think about

this day

this day that you have been graced

to breathe

in and out thousands of times

this day where many of those breaths

were taken for granted you just expected

the next one to come

but the truth is there is no guarantee

that the next one comes

this day how you started your day what

your thoughts were this morning

how you’ve carried yourself through this

day

how you’ve been allowed to have

encounters and experiences

some challenging some more life

enhancing

that pushed you forward another day

of being here on the planet earth

as a human being

let’s just think about that after all

you’ve been through

in this day alone

and the many days and years passed

how you got here to this prestigious

esteemed university

the choices you made that have brought

you to

this day

open your heart

and quietly to yourself

say the only prayer that’s ever needed

[Music]

thank you

thank you

thank you

you’re still here

and you get another chance this day

to do better and be better

another chance to become more of who

you were created

and what you were created to fulfill

thank you

as i’ve grown older i’ve learned to

appreciate

living in the moment and i ask that you

do too

i’ve asked i’m asking this graduating

class those of you

here i’ve asked all of my viewers in

america and across the world

to do this one thing keep a grateful

journal

every night list five things that

happened

this day in days to come

that you are grateful for what it will

begin to do is to change your

perspective

of your day and your life i believe that

if you can learn to focus on what you

have

you will always see that the universe is

abundant

and you will have more if you

concentrate and focus in your life on

what you don’t have

you will never have enough be grateful

keep a journal

you all are all over my journal tonight

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you