Top 10 Jokes in English Can you understand them

Vanessa:
Hi, I’m Vanessa from SpeakEnglishWithVanessa.com.

What’s so funny?

Let’s talk about it.

Do you understand jokes in English?

Have you ever watched an English movie or
a TV show and people were laughing and you

thought, “What’s so funny, why are they laughing?”

Well, in my video, English fluency test, I
mentioned that if you are sitting at a dinner

table, people are telling jokes and they’re
laughing and you understand the joke, congratulations,

you’re fluent.

Understanding jokes is a wonderful way to
level up your English and to have a little

fun.

Even if you don’t think the jokes are funny,
it’s important to understand them.

A lot of jokes in English are puns or plays
on words.

This means that there are two words that sound
similar, and the joke is about these similar

sounding words.

So it takes a high level of vocabulary to
understand why the jokes are funny.

Today I’d like to tell you 10 wonderful jokes
in English.

I made a part one to this video, which you
can check out up here.

A lot of you enjoyed it so I decided to make
a part two.

Today we’re going to be talking about some
very common puns or jokes in English that

almost everyone who’s an English speaker knows.

These first four are these really common puns
and you will hear all the time.

And the other six are jokes that I thought
were pretty clever, pretty funny, and they

also introduced some important vocabulary,
grammar, or pronunciation that you as an English

learner could benefit from.

All right, let’s get started with the first
joke.

You’re going to see my husband, Dan, saying
these jokes because sometimes they’re called

dad jokes.

Dads often say these types of punny, play
on word type of jokes.

So you’re going to see my husband, Dan, say
these jokes and then I’ll explain why they’re

funny.

Let’s go to the first one.

Dan:
Why did the melons have a wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

Why did the melons have a wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

Vanessa:
Why is this a joke?

This is an extremely common joke in English.

What is a cantaloupe?

Well, a cantaloupe is a type of melon, like
watermelon, honeydew, cantaloupe.

It looks like this, but the word cantaloupe
sounds like another word in English.

What happens if you can’t have a wedding or
you decide not to have a big ceremony and

you and your lover decide to run away, maybe
to a beautiful destination, and there’s only

you two plus an official, we call them an
officiant, who gets you married, who marries

you?

What do we call this?

We call this eloping.

You elope.

This means it’s usually a surprise.

Your family and friends don’t know, and then
you tell them later, “Guess what?

We eloped?”

So you didn’t have a wedding.

What’s happening in this joke?

We’re talking about a melon, cantaloupe, and
the verb elope.

Well, unfortunately these poor melons can’t
elope.

So what’s the opposite?

They have to have a wedding.

So the melons can’t elope, so silly.

All right, let’s go to joke number two.

Dan:
Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven ate nine.

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven ate nine.

Vanessa:
Let’s count together.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,
nine.

Okay, you probably know this, right?

Seven, eight, nine.

But what does the word eight sound like?

It sounds like the word eat in the past tense.

So why is six afraid of seven?

Well, seven is a terrible monster, it ate
the number nine.

Seven ate nine.

Oh, no, run away from seven, maybe it’ll eat
me too.

Six is afraid of seven because seven ate nine.

Very silly.

All right, let’s go to our third joke.

Dad, I’m hungry.

Dan:
Hi hungry, I’m Dad.

Vanessa:
Dad, I’m hungry.

Dan:
Hi hungry, I’m Dad.

Vanessa:
This joke makes every kid roll their eyes

and say, “Oh dad.”

Let’s talk about why it’s funny.

Well, you can introduce yourself with this
same sentence construction.

“I’m Vanessa, nice to meet you.”

“I’m Dan, nice to meet you.”

I’m plus your name, but is that what’s happening
here in this sentence?

I’m hungry.

Hungry is not your name, you’re trying to
tell your dad that you want food, but he’s

pretending that hungry is your name.

My dad used to say this all the time.

And I think every time I did that and said,
“Oh dad, no, I want food.”

You can use this in a lot of situations.

You might say, “Dad, I’m tired.”

“Hi, tired.”

“Dad, I’m thirsty.”

“Hi, thirsty.”

It’s so annoying for kids, but also a little
bit silly.

All right, let’s go to our next joke.

How was your camping trip?

Dan:
It was intense.

Vanessa:
How was your camping trip?

Dan:
It was intense.

Vanessa:
Why is this joke funny?

Some people would say it’s not funny, but
why is this a joke?

Well, the word intense means difficult or
serious.

Why would your camping trip be intense?

Maybe it rained the whole time, or maybe you
had to hike a long way get to your camp site.

This is very difficult.

It’s a serious camping trip, but what does
that word sound like, intense?

Where do you sleep when you go camping?

Well, you sleep in a sleeping bag in a tent.

So let’s make it plural.

We slept in tents.

What’s that sound like?

Intense, in tents, very silly.

Do you see how these jokes are a play on words?

We have one word, intense, difficult, serious,
that sounds like another word in a tent or

in tents, and that’s why they’re silly.

So it does take another level of understanding
for vocabulary, or grammar, or pronunciation

to understand why it’s funny or why someone
might say, “Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.”

Maybe they don’t think it’s hilarious, but
they understand that it’s supposed to be a

joke, and now you do too.

All right, these first four were the most
common type of puns in English, but let’s

talk about some others that will help you
to level up your vocabulary.

Dan:
Ooh, I pulled a muscle digging for gold, but

it’s just a miner injury.

Ooh, I pulled a muscle digging for gold, but
it’s just a miner injury.

Vanessa:
Let’s talk about this first phrase, I pulled

a muscle.

What’s that mean?

Usually to break a bone is very serious and
to pull a muscle is a little less serious.

Maybe your muscle feels strained or pulled
and it’s uncomfortable.

And maybe you need to stop for the day, you
need to rest, maybe put some ice on it.

So it’s not a very serious injury.

Usually you can recover relatively quickly.

But what is happening in the rest of this
joke, I pulled a muscle digging for gold.

It was a miner injury.

This phrase, a minor injury is a common phrase
we use for an injury.

So getting hurt, that’s not so serious.

It’s not a major injury.

A major injury, if I can say that correctly,
a major injury would be maybe breaking a bone.

Okay, that’s that’s a little more serious,
but a minor injury is just your muscles stretched

and after some ice and rest, it feels better.

But what does this word minor sound like?

What do you call someone who digs for gold,
or maybe they go into a mine and they’re digging

for coal or other type of minerals?

They are a miner.

So notice how the spelling is slightly different,
but that’s the joke here.

The word minor injury, this common phrase,
and to be a miner, they sound very similar.

All right, let’s go to our next joke.

Dan:
A new Lego store just opened, people lined

up for blocks.

A new Lego store just opened, people lined
up for blocks.

Vanessa:
Do you know what Legos are?

This is a Lego creation that my son made.

My son is obsessed with Legos.

They are these types of blocks.

These are bigger Legos.

We actually call these Duplos, but it’s the
same idea.

And you can make lots of creations with them.

I think he made a forklift with a digger bucket
and eye to watch you, with two sets of wheels.

Very cool, he always comes up with cool creations.

But Legos are a kind of block.

Well, there is another meaning for the word
block.

A block is an American expression used to
describe a set of streets.

We usually use this when we’re giving directions
to someone.

So you might say, “Go two blocks and turn
right.”

That means you need to pass two streets and
then turn right.

This is especially common when you are living
somewhere that has an organized structure.

So for example, New York City is quite organized.

There is one, two, three, four, 34th, 35th
street.

They are quite organized in a grid.

So it’s easy to see one city block, another
city block, another city block.

We can imagine that kind of structure.

Most cities are not organized that way in
the US, so where I live is not organized that

way, but I still would use this phrase, a
block to give general directions.

We live two blocks away from the park.

Okay, this gives a general idea about how
far away we live from the park.

So let’s take a look at this joke and why
it’s funny.

People lined up for blocks.

So the original meaning is that they lined
up for a long distance, it covered many city

blocks.

Maybe they were lined up for one kilometer.

Okay, they were lined up for blocks.

But also why are they lining up?

They want Lego blocks.

So they lined up for what reason?

For blocks, to get Lego blocks.

So would you like to use both of these expressions
blocks together?

You might say people lined up for blocks to
buy blocks.

Oh, so silly.

All right, let’s go to our next joke.

Dan:
My friend David had his ID stolen, now he’s

just Dav.

My friend David had his ID stolen, now he’s
just Dav.

Vanessa:
Do you know what an ID is?

ID stands for identification.

And usually this is your driver’s license,
maybe a passport.

It’s something official, usually from the
government or your school, that shows that

you are a legitimate person, maybe that you’re
a legitimate student, or that you can officially

drive a car, like a driver’s license.

This is your ID.

So a lot of places will ask for your ID.

Maybe if you need to reserve a place, a concert
ticket or something like this, they might

ask for your ID, and this shows you are who
you say you are.

But what’s happening in this joke?

When I say that my friend David had his ID
stolen.

Someone stole his driver’s license.

Not good, but now his name is Dav.

Look at the end of his name, what are the
two letters at the end of his name?

ID.

Well, a common shortened form of the name
David is Dave.

So a lot of people whose names are David,
they’ll say, “Hey, I’m Dave.”

They go by Dave.

It’s a shortened version of their name.

For example, my husband Dan, his real name
is Daniel, but he goes by Dan, this is the

shortened version of his name, like a nickname.

So unfortunately my friend David had his ID
stolen and now we had to change his name.

His name’s Dav.

All right, let’s go to our next joke.

Dan:
If your man doesn’t appreciate fruit puns,

let that mango.

If your man doesn’t appreciate fruit puns,
let that mango.

Vanessa:
What does it mean to let that man go?

Usually this means to break up with someone.

So just forget about your boyfriend, let him
go.

Let him go off into the world and you’re better
off without him.

Let that man go.

But what does this look like?

Look at the last two words here.

Does this look like a fruit to you?

Mango.

This is a mango and it’s a very silly pun.

Let that man go.

This is a common phrase or mango is a fruit.

So if your boyfriend does not like puns, especially
puns about fruit, forget about him, let that

man go.

All right, let’s go to our next joke.

Dan:
The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake

was in tiers.

The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake
was in tiers.

Vanessa:
Why is this joke funny?

Well, at a wedding, if it’s beautiful, usually
people are crying.

Another way to say that people are crying
is people are in tears.

Have you ever cried at a wedding?

Was it so beautiful, so touching that you
cried?

I have.

But what about this spelling, that doesn’t
look like a tear, T-E-A-R, why is it spelled

like that?

And why is the cake crying?

Well, we need to talk about what is a tiered
cake.

This is a tiered cake.

At a wedding, it’s very common to have a cake
layered up like this, a layered cake.

This is most common at a wedding.

You would never see this at a birthday party
because it’s very expensive, it’s very fancy.

Usually this type of tiered cake is reserved
for weddings.

But another way to say this is the cake is
in tiers or in tears.

The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake
was crying.

The cake was in tears.

All right, let’s go to our next joke.

Dan:
Did you hear about the two guys who stole

a calendar?

They got six months each.

Did you hear about the two guys who stole
a calendar?

They got six months each.

Vanessa:
Got six months.

What’s that mean?

That’s not funny.

Why is this supposed to be a joke?

Well, there’s another meaning for the word
get plus time, to get six months.

Well, in this case, these guys did something
bad, they stole something.

They stole a calendar.

Yes, it’s a strange thing to steal, whatever,
it’s a joke.

They stole a calendar.

Do you think that they were caught?

Did the police catch them?

Yes, we know that they were caught because
they got six months.

This is another way to say that they were
sentenced to six months, they had to go to

jail for six months.

So when we use get plus time, it means that
that is the length of time that you went to

jail.

So you might say, “I stole a car and I got
two years,” got two years?

Like someone gave you two years?

No, this means that you went to jail for two
years.

I got two years, or we might say, “He stole
my car and he only got two years.

What?

That’s not fair, he should go to jail for
longer.”

So we have get plus a time means to go to
jail.

But also it’s a calendar.

How many months are in a calendar?

12 and there’s two guys.

So if they split it down the middle, they
each can have six months and six months.

So they’re sharing what they stole.

They each get to have six months.

So there’s a play on words here, a pun about
going to jail for six months and splitting

the thing that they stole, the calendar, and
receiving six months.

A little bit silly, huh?

I hope that you enjoyed these jokes, puns,
plays on words.

Feel free to go on and use them with your
friends, family, co-workers, whoever you’d

like, your dog.

Maybe your dog will think it’s funny.

I’d like to leave you with a final joke.

Tell me in the comments why is this a joke?

What’s the pun or the play on words that’s
happening?

Where do boats go when they’re sick?

To the boat doc.

Tell me, what do you think about that?

Tell me in the comments why this is funny
and thank you so much for learning English

with me.

I’ll see you again next Friday for a new lesson
here on my YouTube channel.

Bye.

The next step is to download my free e-book,
Five Steps to Becoming a Confident English

Speaker.

You’ll learn what you need to do to speak
confidently and fluently.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel
for more free lessons.

Thanks so much.

Bye.