Were having a baby Polite and Rude Questions to Ask a Pregnant Woman

hi i’m vanessa from speak english with

vanessa calm and in my family there are

five members vanessa dan dodger Pippin

and Luna but we have room for one more

in our apartment right right so it’s

true

we’re having a baby so we wanted to

share this exciting news with you and

also include some English because this

is a big time in our lives and it’s

something that maybe a lot of you have

experienced too so in this video we’re

going to share with you some information

about our future baby and also some

polite and rude questions that you can

ask someone who’s pregnant a lot of

people ask me questions nowadays so I

want to help you ask polite questions

not rude questions so are you ready to

start with some polite questions I’m

ready okay

the most common question is when are you

due oh this question means when is the

baby coming

if you imagine a homework assignment

maybe your teacher said this assignment

is due next week due means it needs to

be finished it must come yes so it’s the

same for a baby we say when are you due

or when is the baby due it’s not common

to say when are you due and when are we

do we are due July 8th

oh it’s coming nice and soon another

common question is how far along are you

and this means how long have you been

pregnant and for me I have been pregnant

for about five months a little bit less

than five months so when someone asks me

Vanessa how far along are you

I can say five months it doesn’t mean

that the baby will come after five

months it means that I have been

pregnant for five

month do we usually say months art

always a week well I think that if

you’re talking to someone else who is

pregnant

usually they count each week 15 weeks 20

weeks but most people don’t really know

immediately 20 weeks equals five months

so five months usually you can just say

months but some women might say weeks if

they want to be really specific right

the next question is how are you feeling

oh I’m feeling actually pretty good very

general question yeah usually this is

physically how are you feeling

especially if you ask the woman the one

who’s pregnant because typically the

first three months maybe you feel really

tired or kind of sick and for me I felt

pretty tired and pretty sick kind of

sick I didn’t eat that much

I just ate crackers and muffins for

about a month or two months but now it’s

a little bit further into my pregnancy

so I feel a lot better I have more

energy we can do more stuff together be

more active because I just feel more

alive I feel fine

yeah how do you feel I’m feeling great

yeah how do you mentally feel because

how do you feel could be physically or

mentally so how do you feel about being

a father

I feel mostly excited definitely this is

something I’ve always wanted I knew I

wanted to be a dad and I like Vanessa a

lot so I think she’ll be a great mother

so for the most part I’m a maybe a

little nervous just because I think

pregnancy and giving birth is kind of

scary in general thank you

but yeah this kind of thing I enjoy I

think I’ll for the most part enjoy it

yeah it’s a new adventure another

question that’s okay to ask if somebody

is pregnant is are you going to find out

the gender

this means are you going to find out if

it’s a boy or a girl before you give

birth and today we are both wearing I

have some pink Dan has some blue classic

and the answer for us is are we going to

find out the gender yes I think so

yes so next week we’re filming this now

but next week we’re going to find out

the gender so before I post this video

we will definitely know the gender of

our baby at the moment we don’t know but

when you watch this video we will know

so I want you to guess in the comments

below what do you think yeah do we look

like we’ll have a boy or a girl

hmm do you think our child is a boy or a

girl and I want to give you the correct

answer at the moment I don’t know but

when I post this video we will know so

what I’m going to do is I’m going to

write a blog post to go along with this

video that will include all of the

questions and it will include the answer

from our doctor’s visit next week the

next week we’ll find out but when you

watch this the answer will be revealed

so you can click on the link in the

description below this video or at the

end of the video I’ll post a link so

that you can click on it and see if your

guess is correct

so what do you think do you think we’re

going to have a boy or a girl

um I think my initial hunch or my

initial idea was a girl but because I

think I might be wrong I’m saying a boy

okay and because we like to be

competitive and we like to win I’m gonna

guess the opposite so my guess is a girl

and Dan guess is a boy I have no idea

absolutely no idea I think it’s a pretty

pretty much a 50/50 chance yeah so I

have a 50% chance of being correct

mm-hmm and you two go to AI all right

let’s go to the next one some people

like to ask more detailed questions such

as are you taking birthing classes hmm

so this question has to do with the kind

of preparation that you’re gonna do so

in the u.s. it’s pretty common to take

birthing classes and

that means just how to give birth some

kind of techniques maybe breathing or

some mental techniques something to help

your partner help you yes and for us the

answer is yes we haven’t started yet

because it’s too soon

but shortly we will be taking a local

birthing class it’s actually pretty long

it’s six weeks for three hours each time

yeah but they gotta you got to prepare

the new mothers and fathers

yeah they don’t just talk about how to

give birth this class talks about how to

nurse how to be a parent what kind of

things your baby might need how about

your house yeah so it’s pretty detailed

so in the u.s. going to a birth class or

a birthing class is pretty common and

for us we’re not going to a hospital we

are going to a birth center to give

birth you have the baby so it’s a little

bit different but it’s connected to the

hospital but it’s a place kind of like a

little house a little more cozy yeah I

don’t want to work comfortable and

relaxing and it’s only for giving birth

there’s no one else there it’s only us

the midwives and anyone who we want to

come with us so it’s pretty open but

hopefully it will be a positive

experience another more detailed

question somebody might ask you is have

you thought about names yet hmm and this

is kind of a personal question I feel

like because a lot of couples in the

u.s. don’t tell people their baby names

until the baby’s born so for us we’ve

thought about names but we haven’t

really talked to many people about it

maybe some close family if they ask us

that question but typically we don’t

really share that information I’m a

little more open about it yeah I have

talked with co-workers about names yeah

just a preference is a preference it’s

not rude to ask someone have you thought

about names but I think if you said what

names do you like it could be

a little too direct because a lot of

people at least in the u.s. don’t like

to share that too much because it’s a

personal choice another more detailed

question that’s okay to ask maybe for

friends and family is do you have a

preference boy or girl

hmm so in this question you’re asking

someone do you want a girl do you want a

boy which one do you want so some people

when they have asked me this they say

this a little bit hesitantly like oh do

you want a boy or girl oh maybe I

shouldn’t ask they feel a little

hesitant about asking that because it

kind of implies that if I say I want a

girl it implies that if I have a boy I

won’t be happy so in reality I will be

happy boy I’ll be happy with a girl but

sometimes you have a little preference

yourself what you want do you oh it’s

hard to say I can imagine both lives

with a boy and with a girl do you have a

preference um I don’t know I’m really in

between that maybe maybe a little bit

more leaning toward the girl ah yeah and

just a little bit because I don’t know I

feel like I will feel much more warm and

loving towards a girl but with a boy I

will be like how can i shape this boy

and to be in young man a little more of

a duty kind of feeling boy and I think

for me if I had a boy I didn’t have any

I don’t have any brothers so growing up

with a boy and helping a son will be a

completely new experience for me so both

could be completely new challenges so

some people feel like it might be rude

to ask this but if you are friends or

family with the person or if you just

say it with a smile on your face it’s

not a big deal just it’s just a

preference in the end you just want a

healthy baby

there are also some kind of rude

questions may be rude especially if you

don’t know the person very well maybe if

they’re really really good friends you

could ask this but not you probably

should be careful

such as was it easy to get pregnant and

it’s interesting because each of these

rude questions people have already asked

me them and I try not to be offended

easily and it doesn’t really bother me

but I just want to let you know that it

can be kind of rude so you probably

shouldn’t tell someone or ask someone

this but when you ask someone was it

easy to get pregnant some people really

want a baby they really want to get

pregnant and maybe it takes a couple

months a couple of years sometimes to

get pregnant so for those people they

probably feel really sensitive about

this topic because it’s a big deal

they’re always thinking about it and

worrying or caring about it so I would

be very hesitant to say this too to

anyone unless you’re a family member or

someone really close to them yeah and in

that case you’ll probably already know

yep you’ll probably already know the

next question that’s pretty rude is to

ask was it an accident

hmm so this is saying were you an

accident where are you planning to get

pregnant and I think this question is

rude because first of all it’s pretty

personal but also because it implies

that you if it is an accident that you

don’t want your baby because you were

not planning to get pregnant so I think

a lot of people if it was an accident

they don’t want to say yes because it

implies that they don’t want their baby

they weren’t planning for their baby but

certainly for us if you might know I

like to plan a lot of my life so for us

it was not an accident and for me I

don’t feel strange

answering this question because it was

not an accident but when you ask someone

you don’t really know if it’s an

accident or not

so I recommend not asking this to

someone who’s pregnant unless you really

know them well yeah and accident is a

very common way to describe getting

pregnant without a plan

yes all right the next pretty rude

question to ask is are you happy so this

has a lot of

the connotations and someone has asked

me this already and I feel like it’s

rude because it implies that you

shouldn’t be happy or there’s some

problem like are you happy and maybe for

them they don’t want to have a baby yet

they’re not ready it’s not a good time

in their life so they’re kind of

reflecting that by asking you are you

happy how do you feel because for them

maybe they don’t want to have a baby yet

so they can’t imagine what that’s like

so instead if you want to ask about

someone’s emotional feelings

I recommend asking with a smile very

kindly oh how do you feel about being a

mother or how do you feel about being a

parent that’s a polite way that’s really

polite and some people have asked us

that - wow this is a new stage in your

life

how do you feel how do you feel about

being a mother and that’s really nice a

smile polite and they’re not implying

you shouldn’t be I leave it open-ended

yes are you happy the final road

statement which you should probably

never say to a woman period is wow

you’re so big you must be due soon yes

actually someone has not asked me this

yet because not very big yeah my body is

not very big yet but someone asked my

friend this or told my friend this she

was walking in the parking lot and she

was 7 months pregnant so she still had 2

months 2 months until she was going to

give birth and a stranger said to her

wow you’re so big I think the baby’s

coming soon and she was thinking I have

to wait two more months I know my body’s

big I’m tired I don’t have much energy

oh you don’t need to tell me that so

this is something that I’m sure you

wouldn’t really tell someone but in some

cultures it might be more common to

comment about someone’s physical

appearance but in the u.s. for women

especially not but for pregnant women

they might feel sensitive about their

changing body the

because for me my body is not that big

right now but my body is bigger than I

have ever been because this is just a

new thing in my life so maybe some women

feel much more sensitive about this

so don’t comment about her physical size

we also have a bonus situation to share

maybe something rude you shouldn’t do

and what is that well from my experience

I think a lot of people are curious

about a pregnant woman’s belly because

it’s something it’s a miracle it’s

something incredible that you are

growing another human inside of you and

your body looks different so a lot of

people want to touch a pregnant woman’s

belly rub the belly yes and in the u.s.

for some people they don’t care they’re

fine with people touching their belly

but I recommend just ask if you’re

curious if you’re a close friend or a

good friend they do you mind if I touch

your belly can I touch your belly is it

okay if I touch your belly and usually

if you ask this it’s not a problem

because you’re already a friend and

you’re asking but some people just touch

they just touch your belly and this is a

kind of breaking a social barrier

because usually we don’t touch each

other even friends you don’t just touch

their body

well sometimes friends just touch each

other yeah especially if you’re pregnant

though it’s kind of a sensitive thing so

I recommend if you want to do this or if

it’s normal in your country to touch a

pregnant woman sewing just ask ask first

and make sure that you’re good friends

before we go I just wanted to explain a

little bit about how I will be able to

teach English and have a baby at the

same time because I want to continue

teaching you English and that’s my

passion

I don’t want to stop so I have a great

plan of preparing a lot of materials in

advance I’ve already got a lot of

exciting videos prepared some interviews

some special locations we’re going to

talk about so there’s a lot of exciting

material coming up we’re doing the work

now yeah so we can take a break later

yeah with the baby so probably in the

month of July I will take a little break

from live videos but after that we’ll

see what happens I plan to continue to

be active and to continue to share

English in the real world with you

that’s the goal

thank you for watching everyone and if

you’d like take a look in the comments

below and write down if you think we

will have a boy or a girl yes right your

prediction and then after you write your

prediction no cheating

you can click on the blog post in the

description or at the end of this video

and find out the real answer for me when

we film this I’m just so curious I know

very curious and I won driving me crazy

I want to meet our child I’m curious

what they will be like do you think our

child will have brown hair or red hair

straight hair or curly hair because I I

what color eyes brown eyes green eyes

our physical features are pretty

different

so our child will be a very interesting

looking child probably Asian sister so

please write a comment below and let us

know do you think is a boy or girl what

color hair what color eyes what is your

prediction and click on the blog post to

find out thanks so much for sharing this

special time with us and I’ll see you

the next time bye