Learn English Rashida Jones How to avoid your midlife crisis with BIG subtitles
thank you hello and good afternoon
before I start I’m being told that the
billionaire who endowed a grey 2007
building at the corner of Kirkland and
Quincy Street your building is in a
loading zone so you’re gonna need to
move that building or it’s gonna be
towed
thank you Harvard what’s up graduates
faculty class marshals president Faust
Dean piranhas honored guests parents
confused tourists friends bored siblings
and other family members thank you so
much for having me here today and
congratulations to all of you
particularly the class of 2016 and
congratulations to the parents parents
today’s a big day for you two you’ve
significantly lowered your chances if
you’re kids moving back home it could
still happen though so don’t get cocky
okay don’t turn that room into a home
gym yet when I first got the call to be
the class day speaker I was touched and
thrilled and I swelled with pride of
course that call came in 2011 and they
only called me because they needed me to
forward the request to Amy Poehler but
this year when I got the call I had the
same reaction I had when I was accepted
to Harvard Wow
a bunch of people said no and they had
to go to the waiting list that’s true I
was on the waiting list nonetheless this
is a dream come true so thank you for
allowing me to be here today
I graduated from this esteemed
establishment in 1997 19 years ago I was
right where you are
I was poised to receive the highest
collegiate honor in the world
so naturally I slept through my alarm
and was woken up by my boyfriend’s
roommate panicked and hung over I
checked my pager that was cutting-edge
back then by the way
and as I bolted to the yard I threw on
my cap and gown like I was in a John
Hughes movie and made it just in time
for commencement I wish I could say a
lot has changed since then
unfortunately the exact same montage
played out this morning - the cap and
gown plus a newly chronic knee problem
which slowed me down and obviously I
have a much nicer pager now just
standing here in Harvard Yard I can
easily transport myself back in time I
made so many wonderful memories here on
this campus that will last a lifetime
taking a quick power nap backstage
sanders before an opportunist am
catching some yeah catching some truly
impressive Z’s in Lemont library falling
asleep being anywhere near the Science
Center and then some non sleep related
memories like pre-gaming for a 90’s
dance at Elliott House which at the time
we just called a dance hooking up with
someone in Kirkland so I wouldn’t have
to walk all the way back to courier
hooking up with someone and Dunster a
entry so I wouldn’t have to walk all the
way back to Dunster see entry ensured I
really took advantage of the best
Harvard had to offer by the way I love
that you guys always applaud for your
houses and I wanted to test that out and
see if I could you know see say anything
about any Harvard house and get applause
so let’s try it out out of his house
what’s up lo v best house is whip rub
manor house you’re an eyesore really
that works wow that’s amazing
yeah and students I know that you may be
sad to be leaving college and you should
be but if you’re lucky lucky your
memories will follow you forever
even though they live all over the world
many of my closest friends are still the
ones I made right here in the yard and
I’ve been lucky enough to work with
several of them for example Michael
Schur class of 97 who was a writer on
the office creator of Brooklyn nine-nine
and most important to me
creator of Parks and Recreation but
before all that he was my first
romantic co-star ever in the 1993
levered old library production of the
not so classic play looks love sex in
the IRS the play opened every night with
Mike and me making out on a couch and 20
years later Mike and I have birthed a
rule breaking chestnut hair cunning
naive sophisticated newborn baby sunfish
nurse named Ann Perkins so the moral of
the story is if you make out with
someone in leopard old library you’re
guaranteed at least a network sitcom if
you make out in Quincy cube you’re lucky
if you have a web series in your future
an extended suggestive hug in the
courier dining hall means nothing you
get nothing for that believe it or not
though I didn’t leave Harvard with
ambitions to make it in Hollywood no I
left Harvard to make history and I’m
proud to say you’re watching history
being made right now yes ladies and
gentlemen it’s true I am the only second
generation second generation class day
speaker at Harvard in the history of
mankind thank you thank you a huge
accomplishment today and as they
mentioned my father Quincy Jones was my
class day speaker in 1997 so hopefully
one of you graduates out there is my
illegitimate child and you will be up
here speaking in 20 years don’t laugh
it’s possible I was pretty hungover
right about the time all of you were
conceived just kidding I don’t have kids
or do I I don’t
maybe I do no seriously I don’t and I
really don’t appreciate you pressuring
me about this
as I look around though I’m reminded of
not only how Harvard influenced me but
also how I influenced Harvard I was
always very outspoken politically for
example there was an important some
would say historic moment in 1995 my
sophomore year a frozen yogurt machine
was installed in courier house as to be
expected lives were changed and I just
reread the inspirational quote I gave
the Harvard Crimson about that Froyo
machine it provides automatic
gratification says rashida Jones class
of 97 all you have to do is pull down
the lever and that my young friends is
what I’m here to tell you today all you
need to do in life whoa that’s what I’m
here to tell you today all you have to
do in life is pull down the lever I’m
just kidding could you imagine if I gave
a whole speech about fro you guys would
be so pumped ok and my illegitimate
child would never get a chance to speak
here in 2038 or whatever so as you
embark on your real-world journey and
leave behind the ivy-covered cereal
stock dorms of Harvard I do feel it’s my
responsibility to tell you something
meaningful something that will not only
inspire you but also arm you with a key
to unlocking future opportunities after
all as Harvard graduates this
commencement is literally the only time
anyone will be rooting for your success
America loves an underdog and you are
not underdogs you are now the opposite
of underdogs it doesn’t matter if your
application was a sob story it doesn’t
matter what financial and personal
obstacles you’ve overcome it doesn’t
matter if you’re the first person in
your family to graduate college and your
grandma is crying right now tears of joy
tears of the American promise the tears
of generations who sacrificed and lived
and worked and died so that you could
stand here and accept a diploma and
fulfill a century’s worth of dreams no
one cares
because now your Harvard graduates yes
you were over dogs it used to it anytime
someone asks you where you went to
school and you answer Harvard they’re
gonna say Oh
however it okay I get it you’re smart
stop bragging everyone’s just gonna
assume that you went to college with
Malia Obama even though you just missed
her so by the way start practicing your
lies right now about how you were her
classmate Oh
Malia yeah we were really close we took
actin together which is a very intimate
class and I remember saying to Malia I
bet you learned a thing or two about
economics at the White House we had a
good laugh Malia and I she’s great
and yet as you head out into the world
with this insane head start you’re still
gonna need advice because you’re idiots
I’m sorry it’s true I didn’t know it
either at 21 but it’s true if I if it
weren’t true why wouldn’t you have
chosen to go to Stanford where the
weather is sick and it’s right next door
to Silicon Valley and you could have
just used your student population as
beta testers for some awesome new app
and then sold it right there it’s just a
car right away not only did you not pick
the right school you actually chose to
graduate from it no one’s successful
graduates from Harvard as mentioned Matt
Damon William Randolph Hearst Bonnie
Raitt Bill Gates Mark Zuckerberg
dropouts can you name any one cool who
did graduate from Harvard no I looked it
up and there’s not a single example of a
successful person that graduated from
Harvard
but Rashida you may ask what about you
sure fine I’m doing a ray but Zuckerberg
is doing real array he’s killing it just
because you made this stupid mistake of
graduating from Harvard doesn’t mean you
can’t fix it you’re young you have time
you’re thinking I’m only 21 let me enjoy
my life a little sure enjoy your life
but just remember that 17,000 VAP hits
later 20 years will have passed and you
will be asking yourself giant questions
about work-life balance priorities and
passion meaning and direction and you
will be both empowered and constrained
by the choices you make and the ones you
don’t make the minute you walk out of
this yard
so my self-imposed job today is to spare
you from the midlife crisis that is
silently and patiently waiting for you
and your 40s this may not sound like a
pressing issue today as you prepare to
enter into the land of adult
responsibility but every move you make
from now on is creating the map the
foundation on which you build upon for
your whole life it’s crucial that you
start thinking about how you’re gonna
avoid getting your first tattoo at 45 so
before you glaze over I’d like to offer
three simple pieces of advice 1 don’t
count on the system to protect your
instinct to care and 3 choose love 1
don’t count on the system you’re here
you did it you’re graduating from
Harvard after four years of
determination and studying your nuts off
you finally crossed the finish line you
got here because you’re a rule follower
and that’s great
you trusted in the system and the system
rewarded you you did all the right
things you were the star of your high
school you got the grades you earn all
the courage to extracurricular
activities you charm the teachers and
you dupe to the Harvard admissions team
by greatly exaggerating how much you
learned on your three-day volunteer trip
to Haiti I know this because I’m just
like you I told my parents when I was
four that I wanted to go to Harvard I
recognized that on the path to getting
there there were concrete linear steps
to be executed and I loved the inherent
structure in that
I respected Authority I trusted in the
system I really liked those walk and
don’t walk signs I believed that I would
always find wise experienced people at
the helm of well-run and fair
enterprises and that these people would
exercise power and distribute
opportunity with thoughtfulness and
nobility and that I couldn’t possibly
understand the complexities of their
process there would always be a
collective that would know more than I
and even if I didn’t have empirical
proof that I should trust in them fully
and wholly I just had to because that’s
just the way things worked after
graduating I spent the next 10 years
enjoying a decent amount of success as
an actress I could support myself which
in an overcrowded unmerited chaotic
system like Hollywood is a big
accomplishment fast-forward 22 2007
where I found myself in a bit of a rut
I just come off a great year long stint
guest starring on the office my biggest
break to date but once again I was back
to pounding the pavement auditioning for
movies and TV and with the threat of an
upcoming writers strike there wasn’t a
ton of production so there wasn’t a ton
of auditions and the stuff I was going
in on for was the wife the sassy
bestfriend the girlfriend you know your
run-of-the-mill 2-dimensional supporting
female parts as the dry spell continued
I found myself increasingly demoralized
and frustrated I had always wanted to
write but felt too daunted by the task
and being surrounded by talented
professional writer friends didn’t
really help it felt silly to start down
a new path in my 30s but I channeled my
frustrated unemployed energy and with my
best friend wil McCormack we sat down
every day for six months until we had
completed a movie script it was called
Celeste and Jesse forever and we sold it
in a bidding war to Fox atomic which is
a subsidiary of Fox they wanted to make
the movie for 16 million dollars we did
it it was the greatest accomplishment of
my life I circumvented the system and
then the system changed a month later
Fox atomic folded and then began a
two-year journey of watching my script
go down with the whole business of major
studios making smaller films the ones
that are neither big-budget franchise
nor tiny independence we sold our script
again to another
but he and they folded six months later
we sold it to another company they
folded then yet another film financing
company who wanted to make it folded we
were shutting down companies all over
town finally we’ve realized that with
the old system crumbling we had to find
another way we now had a very short
window that was slowly closing I
couldn’t if I couldn’t find financing
and start filming in a month I would
lose my actors my crew my director and
probably my mind I had called in every
favor from everyone I knew I had put
everything on the line so we said screw
it let’s just make this movie however we
can we got lucky and found an investor
thank you forever Lee Nelson and made
the movie for eight hundred and forty
thousand dollars now that might sound
like a lot of money I mean eight hundred
forty thousand dollars is almost a year
of Harvard tuition but in the film
business it’s peanuts we sold the film
at Sundance had some pretty nice reviews
and got an Independent Spirit Award
nomination for writing launching my
writing and producing career felt like a
milestone but more importantly I
overcame my own compulsion to work
within the system even after 40 years I
have a hard time accepting that the
people in charge are not always the most
competent now I’m a realist I work for
myself if I hit a wall I look for ways
outside the system to get things done
the hard fact is this the real world
doesn’t reward rule-followers the way
the educational world does and the real
world is not always merit-based the
institutions and organizations we yield
to and trust in to support our success
whether they be employers or government
are flawed they have objectives that
will most likely conflict with our own
I’m not suggesting you should act on
your own self-interest but be on guard
be agnostic don’t just follow the rules
and assume everything works out because
it’s happened that way in the past just
because they’ve been doing it a long
time does not mean it’s right
in fact historic historical precedents
and traditions are often brimming with
injustice and racism and sexism
yes Hasty Pudding theatricals I’m
talking to you
I think it’s time to break tradition and
let girls in your show right time
speaking of change at Harvard there’s
been a lot of wonderful advances even
since the time I graduated back then
Harvard had not even had a when a woman
as president and a black Jewish female
class day speakers with you today so
that’s a little more history I also
understand that the final clubs are now
facing pressure to admit women including
the notorious person Club the rumor we
always heard was that the Porcellian
would give 1 million dollars to any
alumnus who wasn’t already a millionaire
by age 40 that’s awesome if it’s true so
if they start admitting women let’s see
what 79 percent of a million anybody
know but back to you in a - in addition
to other benefits unlearning your
rule-following
instincts will allow you to get to know
yourself in a real way for the last four
years your identity has been wrapped up
in this institution and look how proud
you made the people around you
but what about you outside of what’s
expected from you what path do you
really want to take in life what are you
prepared to tolerate to realize that
path or are you waiting for someone else
to define that path for you as a fellow
rule follower I can also tell you that
it’s very painful when the things you
believe in start to show their cracks
and their imperfections no job or
employer or mentor will ever be the
answer you want them to be I spent my
younger years hoping and praying that
someone would give me a break that
someone more successful and
knowledgeable than I would show me the
way and save me from making mistakes but
everyone is dealing with their own flaws
and egos don’t get me wrong I’ve been
lucky enough to work with some
tremendously talented humble and
hard-working people but none of them has
had the answer for me here’s the simple
truth you are the only one who could
create the life you want and you may
have to break some rules to do that now
I’m not suggesting that you drop out of
society liquidate your permits for money
and take a kite surfing in Hawaii I mean
do that if you want cuz its own
kind of awesome I’m only saying this
you’re the only one who can create a
system that’s gonna work for you and
that needs to start right now
number two protect protect your instinct
to care now I’m gonna speak for 85
minutes about your instincts I’m just
kidding this is gonna be short I’m not
gonna tell you to be the best or dream
big or get rich because a it’s not the
80s and B I’m a little bit bored with
the American dream of wanting to be rich
or being rich and gloating about it
publicly even on a campaign trail
seriously what is going on it’s
officially embarrassing so I’m here to
challenge you with a different kind of
responsibility a couple of years ago an
expressing concern about the worldwide
policies towards the ongoing refugee
crisis
Pope Francis coined the phrase the
globalization of indifference
indifference is an insidious and toxic
state of mind for your information there
are 60 million displaced or internally
displaced refugees worldwide that’s 60
million people who can’t return to their
home we shouldn’t be indifferent about
that unfortunately the world you’ve
inherited is beat down and polarized and
fraught with conflict we as humans are
not great at learning from our
collective mistakes but it’s nothing we
can’t recover from it will take a
generation of compassion and empathy and
action to make it happen and that’s
where you come in having compassion and
focus is becoming increasingly more
difficult in the information age because
there’s a lot of information it’s hard
to care about something for very long
because before you know it there’s an
even new or breaking news story or the
DHing of an email or Facebook
notification begging for you to care
about it changing focus quickly is now a
required survival skill the good thing
about the Internet is that everyone has
a voice yay the bad thing about the
Internet is that everybody has a voice
boo their space carved out for the whole
spectrum this disenfranchised marginal
groups who finally have a platform to
talk about the injustice they’ve endured
but also the hateful the
and the uninformed and unfortunately
those voices are loud in the face of all
that noise it’s harder to than ever to
stay committed to do the things you
really care about
but don’t be distracted do not be
dissuaded do not be discouraged keep
caring it’s not enough to talk amongst
your friends about the problems you see
in the world now is the time to be vocal
now it’s the time to be loud louder than
the loudest troll on the Internet and if
that’s not in your nature too bad get
louder we need it right now as a college
educated worldly young person you were
obligated to be loud to rise above the
fear-mongering and bigotry and
misinformation to make yourself heard
through all the noise and you can be
heard it’s possible the way to really be
heard is to do even more than you say
people tend to find it a little annoying
for celebrities to be vocal about
politics and I get it I know I’m an
actress I’m not a world leader and the
line of reasoning is these bright shiny
objects get more airtime not because
they’re more informed or they’re any
smarter but just because they played
some badass hero in a movie and they
think they know everything I’ve often
been told by trolls to stick to acting
or to shut up because I’m a stupid
celebrity but you know what I don’t care
I don’t care there’s too much to fight
for the equality and respect that people
before us have fought for and the laws
put in place to protect these things are
at risk of slipping away
young unarmed black men are being killed
in record numbers states are passing
laws that are systematically stripping
away women’s reproductive rights a
presidential candidate is encouraging
his supporters to be violent and racist
and wants to ensure that there are no
gun-free zones in this country while
we’re distracted with pretty Instagram
shots of coffee and celebrity breakups
our freedoms are at risk of slipping
away and to me this issue is more
important than smiling pretty and
talking about how much fun I had on a
movie set I am aware of this could make
me unlikable I’m aware that being
political could open me up to criticism
and look everyone of us wants to be
light it’s
sucks to have people say awful things
about you I mean no human is immune to
that except maybe Donald Trump I’m not
sure he’s a human so we’ll see all this
to say care about what matters to you
and don’t let complacency or feeling
overwhelmed or the haters distract you
from this it’s too important as my dear
friend who I’ve never met before DJ
Khaled’s says they don’t want you to win
so you have to win by caring that’s what
he means when he says when he wants you
to care I want you to care whatever you
know what I mean protect your instinct
to care choose love my dad has given me
some remarkable advice over the years
actually just a couple hours ago he said
something profound he said honey in your
speech today make sure you mention my
remarkable advice he has told me you
can’t get an A if you’re afraid of
getting an F he has told me to approach
work with humility and grace because I’m
really just a conduit for a higher power
he has told me to live every day like
it’s your last and one day you’ll be
right a piece of advice that becomes
scarily more meaningful to me as the
older I get but maybe the best advice
he’s ever given me is to live in love
and not fear it sounded like a parental
platitude when I first heard it but then
I started to apply that paradigm to
every decision I made all of a sudden I
was asking myself where my
decision-making was coming from was I
scared to disappoint people was I scared
to fail was I scared I wasn’t up to the
task or was I excited and nervous about
the unknown did I picture myself
possibly pushing past what I thought my
limitations were we have to consciously
choose love because it’s scary choosing
love is not always the easiest answer
and it doesn’t always put you on the
clearest path choosing love is
inexorably tied to taking risk and what
this actually means to you I can’t ever
know because it’s different for everyone
what you love is so personal what
inspires you what makes you tick so I
can only say when big decisions pop up
get quiet real quiet
listen turn off your phone turn off your
computer and listen to your true heart
here the thing that makes you feel sick
with excitement and scares you because
you know you’ll learn and do that thing
so just to review because I think maybe
some of you were hungover or maybe I’ve
been asleep for a little bit here’s
what’s gonna stave off your midlife
crisis one don’t count on the system
count on yourself to protect your
instincts and do it loudly 3 choose love
even if it’s scary sometime there’s
still plenty of reason to be optimistic
about your future the world you’re
inheriting has less violence longer life
expectancy more available education more
ways to stay in touch with the people
you love more good television shows and
more flavors of gun than ever before in
the history of the world but there’s
still so much work to be done by you and
it’s totally possible
but it’s not enough to talk about it
question everything yes absolutely
but then figure out how to change it you
must act stay curious stay empathetic
stay fearless become a loud and fervent
participant in your world to the members
of the graduating class of 2016 and the
dropouts who are too successful to be
here with us today I guess what I’m
really getting at goes back to this pull
down that lever get your Froyo graduates
thank you very much
[Applause]
you