Learn English Rashida Jones How to avoid your midlife crisis with BIG subtitles

thank you hello and good afternoon

before I start I’m being told that the

billionaire who endowed a grey 2007

building at the corner of Kirkland and

Quincy Street your building is in a

loading zone so you’re gonna need to

move that building or it’s gonna be

towed

thank you Harvard what’s up graduates

faculty class marshals president Faust

Dean piranhas honored guests parents

confused tourists friends bored siblings

and other family members thank you so

much for having me here today and

congratulations to all of you

particularly the class of 2016 and

congratulations to the parents parents

today’s a big day for you two you’ve

significantly lowered your chances if

you’re kids moving back home it could

still happen though so don’t get cocky

okay don’t turn that room into a home

gym yet when I first got the call to be

the class day speaker I was touched and

thrilled and I swelled with pride of

course that call came in 2011 and they

only called me because they needed me to

forward the request to Amy Poehler but

this year when I got the call I had the

same reaction I had when I was accepted

to Harvard Wow

a bunch of people said no and they had

to go to the waiting list that’s true I

was on the waiting list nonetheless this

is a dream come true so thank you for

allowing me to be here today

I graduated from this esteemed

establishment in 1997 19 years ago I was

right where you are

I was poised to receive the highest

collegiate honor in the world

so naturally I slept through my alarm

and was woken up by my boyfriend’s

roommate panicked and hung over I

checked my pager that was cutting-edge

back then by the way

and as I bolted to the yard I threw on

my cap and gown like I was in a John

Hughes movie and made it just in time

for commencement I wish I could say a

lot has changed since then

unfortunately the exact same montage

played out this morning - the cap and

gown plus a newly chronic knee problem

which slowed me down and obviously I

have a much nicer pager now just

standing here in Harvard Yard I can

easily transport myself back in time I

made so many wonderful memories here on

this campus that will last a lifetime

taking a quick power nap backstage

sanders before an opportunist am

catching some yeah catching some truly

impressive Z’s in Lemont library falling

asleep being anywhere near the Science

Center and then some non sleep related

memories like pre-gaming for a 90’s

dance at Elliott House which at the time

we just called a dance hooking up with

someone in Kirkland so I wouldn’t have

to walk all the way back to courier

hooking up with someone and Dunster a

entry so I wouldn’t have to walk all the

way back to Dunster see entry ensured I

really took advantage of the best

Harvard had to offer by the way I love

that you guys always applaud for your

houses and I wanted to test that out and

see if I could you know see say anything

about any Harvard house and get applause

so let’s try it out out of his house

what’s up lo v best house is whip rub

manor house you’re an eyesore really

that works wow that’s amazing

yeah and students I know that you may be

sad to be leaving college and you should

be but if you’re lucky lucky your

memories will follow you forever

even though they live all over the world

many of my closest friends are still the

ones I made right here in the yard and

I’ve been lucky enough to work with

several of them for example Michael

Schur class of 97 who was a writer on

the office creator of Brooklyn nine-nine

and most important to me

creator of Parks and Recreation but

before all that he was my first

romantic co-star ever in the 1993

levered old library production of the

not so classic play looks love sex in

the IRS the play opened every night with

Mike and me making out on a couch and 20

years later Mike and I have birthed a

rule breaking chestnut hair cunning

naive sophisticated newborn baby sunfish

nurse named Ann Perkins so the moral of

the story is if you make out with

someone in leopard old library you’re

guaranteed at least a network sitcom if

you make out in Quincy cube you’re lucky

if you have a web series in your future

an extended suggestive hug in the

courier dining hall means nothing you

get nothing for that believe it or not

though I didn’t leave Harvard with

ambitions to make it in Hollywood no I

left Harvard to make history and I’m

proud to say you’re watching history

being made right now yes ladies and

gentlemen it’s true I am the only second

generation second generation class day

speaker at Harvard in the history of

mankind thank you thank you a huge

accomplishment today and as they

mentioned my father Quincy Jones was my

class day speaker in 1997 so hopefully

one of you graduates out there is my

illegitimate child and you will be up

here speaking in 20 years don’t laugh

it’s possible I was pretty hungover

right about the time all of you were

conceived just kidding I don’t have kids

or do I I don’t

maybe I do no seriously I don’t and I

really don’t appreciate you pressuring

me about this

as I look around though I’m reminded of

not only how Harvard influenced me but

also how I influenced Harvard I was

always very outspoken politically for

example there was an important some

would say historic moment in 1995 my

sophomore year a frozen yogurt machine

was installed in courier house as to be

expected lives were changed and I just

reread the inspirational quote I gave

the Harvard Crimson about that Froyo

machine it provides automatic

gratification says rashida Jones class

of 97 all you have to do is pull down

the lever and that my young friends is

what I’m here to tell you today all you

need to do in life whoa that’s what I’m

here to tell you today all you have to

do in life is pull down the lever I’m

just kidding could you imagine if I gave

a whole speech about fro you guys would

be so pumped ok and my illegitimate

child would never get a chance to speak

here in 2038 or whatever so as you

embark on your real-world journey and

leave behind the ivy-covered cereal

stock dorms of Harvard I do feel it’s my

responsibility to tell you something

meaningful something that will not only

inspire you but also arm you with a key

to unlocking future opportunities after

all as Harvard graduates this

commencement is literally the only time

anyone will be rooting for your success

America loves an underdog and you are

not underdogs you are now the opposite

of underdogs it doesn’t matter if your

application was a sob story it doesn’t

matter what financial and personal

obstacles you’ve overcome it doesn’t

matter if you’re the first person in

your family to graduate college and your

grandma is crying right now tears of joy

tears of the American promise the tears

of generations who sacrificed and lived

and worked and died so that you could

stand here and accept a diploma and

fulfill a century’s worth of dreams no

one cares

because now your Harvard graduates yes

you were over dogs it used to it anytime

someone asks you where you went to

school and you answer Harvard they’re

gonna say Oh

however it okay I get it you’re smart

stop bragging everyone’s just gonna

assume that you went to college with

Malia Obama even though you just missed

her so by the way start practicing your

lies right now about how you were her

classmate Oh

Malia yeah we were really close we took

actin together which is a very intimate

class and I remember saying to Malia I

bet you learned a thing or two about

economics at the White House we had a

good laugh Malia and I she’s great

and yet as you head out into the world

with this insane head start you’re still

gonna need advice because you’re idiots

I’m sorry it’s true I didn’t know it

either at 21 but it’s true if I if it

weren’t true why wouldn’t you have

chosen to go to Stanford where the

weather is sick and it’s right next door

to Silicon Valley and you could have

just used your student population as

beta testers for some awesome new app

and then sold it right there it’s just a

car right away not only did you not pick

the right school you actually chose to

graduate from it no one’s successful

graduates from Harvard as mentioned Matt

Damon William Randolph Hearst Bonnie

Raitt Bill Gates Mark Zuckerberg

dropouts can you name any one cool who

did graduate from Harvard no I looked it

up and there’s not a single example of a

successful person that graduated from

Harvard

but Rashida you may ask what about you

sure fine I’m doing a ray but Zuckerberg

is doing real array he’s killing it just

because you made this stupid mistake of

graduating from Harvard doesn’t mean you

can’t fix it you’re young you have time

you’re thinking I’m only 21 let me enjoy

my life a little sure enjoy your life

but just remember that 17,000 VAP hits

later 20 years will have passed and you

will be asking yourself giant questions

about work-life balance priorities and

passion meaning and direction and you

will be both empowered and constrained

by the choices you make and the ones you

don’t make the minute you walk out of

this yard

so my self-imposed job today is to spare

you from the midlife crisis that is

silently and patiently waiting for you

and your 40s this may not sound like a

pressing issue today as you prepare to

enter into the land of adult

responsibility but every move you make

from now on is creating the map the

foundation on which you build upon for

your whole life it’s crucial that you

start thinking about how you’re gonna

avoid getting your first tattoo at 45 so

before you glaze over I’d like to offer

three simple pieces of advice 1 don’t

count on the system to protect your

instinct to care and 3 choose love 1

don’t count on the system you’re here

you did it you’re graduating from

Harvard after four years of

determination and studying your nuts off

you finally crossed the finish line you

got here because you’re a rule follower

and that’s great

you trusted in the system and the system

rewarded you you did all the right

things you were the star of your high

school you got the grades you earn all

the courage to extracurricular

activities you charm the teachers and

you dupe to the Harvard admissions team

by greatly exaggerating how much you

learned on your three-day volunteer trip

to Haiti I know this because I’m just

like you I told my parents when I was

four that I wanted to go to Harvard I

recognized that on the path to getting

there there were concrete linear steps

to be executed and I loved the inherent

structure in that

I respected Authority I trusted in the

system I really liked those walk and

don’t walk signs I believed that I would

always find wise experienced people at

the helm of well-run and fair

enterprises and that these people would

exercise power and distribute

opportunity with thoughtfulness and

nobility and that I couldn’t possibly

understand the complexities of their

process there would always be a

collective that would know more than I

and even if I didn’t have empirical

proof that I should trust in them fully

and wholly I just had to because that’s

just the way things worked after

graduating I spent the next 10 years

enjoying a decent amount of success as

an actress I could support myself which

in an overcrowded unmerited chaotic

system like Hollywood is a big

accomplishment fast-forward 22 2007

where I found myself in a bit of a rut

I just come off a great year long stint

guest starring on the office my biggest

break to date but once again I was back

to pounding the pavement auditioning for

movies and TV and with the threat of an

upcoming writers strike there wasn’t a

ton of production so there wasn’t a ton

of auditions and the stuff I was going

in on for was the wife the sassy

bestfriend the girlfriend you know your

run-of-the-mill 2-dimensional supporting

female parts as the dry spell continued

I found myself increasingly demoralized

and frustrated I had always wanted to

write but felt too daunted by the task

and being surrounded by talented

professional writer friends didn’t

really help it felt silly to start down

a new path in my 30s but I channeled my

frustrated unemployed energy and with my

best friend wil McCormack we sat down

every day for six months until we had

completed a movie script it was called

Celeste and Jesse forever and we sold it

in a bidding war to Fox atomic which is

a subsidiary of Fox they wanted to make

the movie for 16 million dollars we did

it it was the greatest accomplishment of

my life I circumvented the system and

then the system changed a month later

Fox atomic folded and then began a

two-year journey of watching my script

go down with the whole business of major

studios making smaller films the ones

that are neither big-budget franchise

nor tiny independence we sold our script

again to another

but he and they folded six months later

we sold it to another company they

folded then yet another film financing

company who wanted to make it folded we

were shutting down companies all over

town finally we’ve realized that with

the old system crumbling we had to find

another way we now had a very short

window that was slowly closing I

couldn’t if I couldn’t find financing

and start filming in a month I would

lose my actors my crew my director and

probably my mind I had called in every

favor from everyone I knew I had put

everything on the line so we said screw

it let’s just make this movie however we

can we got lucky and found an investor

thank you forever Lee Nelson and made

the movie for eight hundred and forty

thousand dollars now that might sound

like a lot of money I mean eight hundred

forty thousand dollars is almost a year

of Harvard tuition but in the film

business it’s peanuts we sold the film

at Sundance had some pretty nice reviews

and got an Independent Spirit Award

nomination for writing launching my

writing and producing career felt like a

milestone but more importantly I

overcame my own compulsion to work

within the system even after 40 years I

have a hard time accepting that the

people in charge are not always the most

competent now I’m a realist I work for

myself if I hit a wall I look for ways

outside the system to get things done

the hard fact is this the real world

doesn’t reward rule-followers the way

the educational world does and the real

world is not always merit-based the

institutions and organizations we yield

to and trust in to support our success

whether they be employers or government

are flawed they have objectives that

will most likely conflict with our own

I’m not suggesting you should act on

your own self-interest but be on guard

be agnostic don’t just follow the rules

and assume everything works out because

it’s happened that way in the past just

because they’ve been doing it a long

time does not mean it’s right

in fact historic historical precedents

and traditions are often brimming with

injustice and racism and sexism

yes Hasty Pudding theatricals I’m

talking to you

I think it’s time to break tradition and

let girls in your show right time

speaking of change at Harvard there’s

been a lot of wonderful advances even

since the time I graduated back then

Harvard had not even had a when a woman

as president and a black Jewish female

class day speakers with you today so

that’s a little more history I also

understand that the final clubs are now

facing pressure to admit women including

the notorious person Club the rumor we

always heard was that the Porcellian

would give 1 million dollars to any

alumnus who wasn’t already a millionaire

by age 40 that’s awesome if it’s true so

if they start admitting women let’s see

what 79 percent of a million anybody

know but back to you in a - in addition

to other benefits unlearning your

rule-following

instincts will allow you to get to know

yourself in a real way for the last four

years your identity has been wrapped up

in this institution and look how proud

you made the people around you

but what about you outside of what’s

expected from you what path do you

really want to take in life what are you

prepared to tolerate to realize that

path or are you waiting for someone else

to define that path for you as a fellow

rule follower I can also tell you that

it’s very painful when the things you

believe in start to show their cracks

and their imperfections no job or

employer or mentor will ever be the

answer you want them to be I spent my

younger years hoping and praying that

someone would give me a break that

someone more successful and

knowledgeable than I would show me the

way and save me from making mistakes but

everyone is dealing with their own flaws

and egos don’t get me wrong I’ve been

lucky enough to work with some

tremendously talented humble and

hard-working people but none of them has

had the answer for me here’s the simple

truth you are the only one who could

create the life you want and you may

have to break some rules to do that now

I’m not suggesting that you drop out of

society liquidate your permits for money

and take a kite surfing in Hawaii I mean

do that if you want cuz its own

kind of awesome I’m only saying this

you’re the only one who can create a

system that’s gonna work for you and

that needs to start right now

number two protect protect your instinct

to care now I’m gonna speak for 85

minutes about your instincts I’m just

kidding this is gonna be short I’m not

gonna tell you to be the best or dream

big or get rich because a it’s not the

80s and B I’m a little bit bored with

the American dream of wanting to be rich

or being rich and gloating about it

publicly even on a campaign trail

seriously what is going on it’s

officially embarrassing so I’m here to

challenge you with a different kind of

responsibility a couple of years ago an

expressing concern about the worldwide

policies towards the ongoing refugee

crisis

Pope Francis coined the phrase the

globalization of indifference

indifference is an insidious and toxic

state of mind for your information there

are 60 million displaced or internally

displaced refugees worldwide that’s 60

million people who can’t return to their

home we shouldn’t be indifferent about

that unfortunately the world you’ve

inherited is beat down and polarized and

fraught with conflict we as humans are

not great at learning from our

collective mistakes but it’s nothing we

can’t recover from it will take a

generation of compassion and empathy and

action to make it happen and that’s

where you come in having compassion and

focus is becoming increasingly more

difficult in the information age because

there’s a lot of information it’s hard

to care about something for very long

because before you know it there’s an

even new or breaking news story or the

DHing of an email or Facebook

notification begging for you to care

about it changing focus quickly is now a

required survival skill the good thing

about the Internet is that everyone has

a voice yay the bad thing about the

Internet is that everybody has a voice

boo their space carved out for the whole

spectrum this disenfranchised marginal

groups who finally have a platform to

talk about the injustice they’ve endured

but also the hateful the

and the uninformed and unfortunately

those voices are loud in the face of all

that noise it’s harder to than ever to

stay committed to do the things you

really care about

but don’t be distracted do not be

dissuaded do not be discouraged keep

caring it’s not enough to talk amongst

your friends about the problems you see

in the world now is the time to be vocal

now it’s the time to be loud louder than

the loudest troll on the Internet and if

that’s not in your nature too bad get

louder we need it right now as a college

educated worldly young person you were

obligated to be loud to rise above the

fear-mongering and bigotry and

misinformation to make yourself heard

through all the noise and you can be

heard it’s possible the way to really be

heard is to do even more than you say

people tend to find it a little annoying

for celebrities to be vocal about

politics and I get it I know I’m an

actress I’m not a world leader and the

line of reasoning is these bright shiny

objects get more airtime not because

they’re more informed or they’re any

smarter but just because they played

some badass hero in a movie and they

think they know everything I’ve often

been told by trolls to stick to acting

or to shut up because I’m a stupid

celebrity but you know what I don’t care

I don’t care there’s too much to fight

for the equality and respect that people

before us have fought for and the laws

put in place to protect these things are

at risk of slipping away

young unarmed black men are being killed

in record numbers states are passing

laws that are systematically stripping

away women’s reproductive rights a

presidential candidate is encouraging

his supporters to be violent and racist

and wants to ensure that there are no

gun-free zones in this country while

we’re distracted with pretty Instagram

shots of coffee and celebrity breakups

our freedoms are at risk of slipping

away and to me this issue is more

important than smiling pretty and

talking about how much fun I had on a

movie set I am aware of this could make

me unlikable I’m aware that being

political could open me up to criticism

and look everyone of us wants to be

light it’s

sucks to have people say awful things

about you I mean no human is immune to

that except maybe Donald Trump I’m not

sure he’s a human so we’ll see all this

to say care about what matters to you

and don’t let complacency or feeling

overwhelmed or the haters distract you

from this it’s too important as my dear

friend who I’ve never met before DJ

Khaled’s says they don’t want you to win

so you have to win by caring that’s what

he means when he says when he wants you

to care I want you to care whatever you

know what I mean protect your instinct

to care choose love my dad has given me

some remarkable advice over the years

actually just a couple hours ago he said

something profound he said honey in your

speech today make sure you mention my

remarkable advice he has told me you

can’t get an A if you’re afraid of

getting an F he has told me to approach

work with humility and grace because I’m

really just a conduit for a higher power

he has told me to live every day like

it’s your last and one day you’ll be

right a piece of advice that becomes

scarily more meaningful to me as the

older I get but maybe the best advice

he’s ever given me is to live in love

and not fear it sounded like a parental

platitude when I first heard it but then

I started to apply that paradigm to

every decision I made all of a sudden I

was asking myself where my

decision-making was coming from was I

scared to disappoint people was I scared

to fail was I scared I wasn’t up to the

task or was I excited and nervous about

the unknown did I picture myself

possibly pushing past what I thought my

limitations were we have to consciously

choose love because it’s scary choosing

love is not always the easiest answer

and it doesn’t always put you on the

clearest path choosing love is

inexorably tied to taking risk and what

this actually means to you I can’t ever

know because it’s different for everyone

what you love is so personal what

inspires you what makes you tick so I

can only say when big decisions pop up

get quiet real quiet

listen turn off your phone turn off your

computer and listen to your true heart

here the thing that makes you feel sick

with excitement and scares you because

you know you’ll learn and do that thing

so just to review because I think maybe

some of you were hungover or maybe I’ve

been asleep for a little bit here’s

what’s gonna stave off your midlife

crisis one don’t count on the system

count on yourself to protect your

instincts and do it loudly 3 choose love

even if it’s scary sometime there’s

still plenty of reason to be optimistic

about your future the world you’re

inheriting has less violence longer life

expectancy more available education more

ways to stay in touch with the people

you love more good television shows and

more flavors of gun than ever before in

the history of the world but there’s

still so much work to be done by you and

it’s totally possible

but it’s not enough to talk about it

question everything yes absolutely

but then figure out how to change it you

must act stay curious stay empathetic

stay fearless become a loud and fervent

participant in your world to the members

of the graduating class of 2016 and the

dropouts who are too successful to be

here with us today I guess what I’m

really getting at goes back to this pull

down that lever get your Froyo graduates

thank you very much

[Applause]

you