BEST OF OPRAH WINFREY Best Motivational Videos Speeches Compilation 1 Hour Long

[Music]

everybody is feeding yourself on

the hysteria and the negativity you

gotta stay in the light

but one of the reasons why i was so

excited is about a wrinkle in time

because the message is that the darkness

is spreading so fast these days you must

become a warrior of the light and the

reason that’s so meaningful to me is

because that’s how i’ve led my whole

life

for these times the darkness is there to

show you your light look at what has

happened so if you put the focus on look

at what happened with the darkness that

showed up in parkland and the darkness

that showed up on the streets of

ferguson the darkness that showed up in

many many many many many many homes in

chicago with shootings and uh senseless

murders

it brings out the best in people it

brings out the best and so that’s what

it’s there we live on a planet where

there is darkness and light

i deeply believe is not that do unto

others as you would have them do unto

you

what you do is already done

that moment in the color purple where

she says everything you ever try to do

to me already done to you so the law the

third law of motion in physics says that

what you’re putting out is coming back

all the time regardless of whether you

know it or acknowledge it or not

i say to the my girls

all of the time that your real work

is to figure out

where your power base is

and to work on the alignment of your

personality your gifts that you have to

give with the real reason why you’re

here that’s that’s the number one thing

you have to do is to work on yourself

and to fill your self up

and keep your cup full keep yourself

full now i used to be afraid of that

i used to be afraid particularly from

people who say oh she said she’s still

fella hassan

she’s so close herself and now i embrace

i i consider it a compliment that i am

full

of myself

because you only when you’re full

i’m full i’m overflowing my cup runneth

over

i have so much i have so much to offer

and so much to give and i am not afraid

of honoring myself you know it’s

miraculous when you think about it

my life is fueled by my being

and the being fuels the doing

so i come from a centered place i come

from a focused place

i come from

compassion

i come from a willingness to understand

and to be understood

and i come from wanting to to connect i

mean the secret of that show for 25

years is that people could see

themselves in me

all over the world they could see

themselves in me and even as i became

more and more financially successful

which was a big surprise to me i was

like oh my god this is so exciting

but what i realized is

through the whole process because i’m

grounded

in my own

self

that

although i could have more shoes

my feet stayed on the ground although i

was wearing better shoes these are kind

of cute today too

so i could keep my feet on the ground

even though i could get more shoes and i

could understand i could understand that

it really was because i was grounded

i’ve done the

was doing and continue to this day

to do

the consciousness work i work at staying

awake

the reason why i was number one for 25

years

is because i figured out early on

there is no story anybody has ever heard

that somebody else hasn’t experienced

nothing

and i also figured out

probably maybe the first or second year

that all pain is the same

that a mother in somalia feels the same

way as a mother in seattle when she

loses her child

and the common denominator in the human

experience

is our emotions and our feelings and the

more vulnerable and open you are willing

to be with your story the more actual

understanding you create with other

people and the more powerful you become

people don’t think less of you for

sharing your story they think more of

you for having the courage to share it

what inspired me was an is continues to

be what continues to inspire me

is a

primal and fundamental desire

to fulfill

the highest expression

of myself as a human

i don’t want to die

not having

completely

burnt out

every

single possibility of my humanity

i just i just want to when when i leave

this planet i want everybody

did that

used it all up not another thing i could

do there wasn’t another person i could

have given of myself to there wasn’t

another deed i could have done there

wasn’t anything that you just wanted you

want to say i want to fill it up you

want to take this whole human existence

which when you think about it godfrey is

really pretty damn miraculous it is it

is it is when you think about what it

means to be a human being on the planet

earth right now that’s pretty awesome

so i just wanna i wanna i wanna take

that to the max i wanna say no need to

come back as a human

the day first day i went to school i was

in a classroom

by the time i was uh

you know six years old didn’t go to

school i was six years old because i

lived my grandmother that time sure but

she had taught me how to read read the

bible bible stories

so i went into the classroom

knowing nicodemus

shadrach meshach and abednego

i could spell all of those words i

thought i was you know i was preaching

to the to my kindergarten teacher

she was like who is this girl so

i was never placed in an environment

where i was ever made to feel inferior i

always felt like i’m the smartest kid in

this room

and because i was never placed and never

put in a position where i was made to

feel

less than i didn’t grow up feeling less

than you know

and the rest as they say is history and

the rest they say is history and it’s

all about what you believe you know i

say this to

uh when i do something on my network now

call life class

the fundamental

key to success is what you believe

is true for yourself not what you want

not what you desire is what do you

believe

you know you can say i want to i want to

be the most successful person in the

world but if you believe that there’s a

glass ceiling and you’re going to have a

hard time kicking through that glass

ceiling

you will be defined by the glass ceiling

and

the great beauty and gift of my life is

that i was never defined by the box that

other people tried to put me in

[Music]

the energy of your intention

is what determines your life

most people don’t think about their

intention they just think about what

they want to do

most people don’t think about why they

want to do it

but what’s going to come back to you the

energy that’s going to come back to you

is the real why of why you did it

what drives you to keep working so hard

you could you know you and i are in the

60s category and so when you’re in your

60s you know you’ve lived more than

you’re going to live yeah realistically

so when you realize you’ve lived more

than you’re going to live you can say

why not relax a little bit why not just

ease up why have you decided to even

work harder than you did before

because i think david that everybody you

know the thing that works for me

all these years whether it was the

magazine or

which i still have or whether it was the

show i could i understood that there’s a

common denominator in the human

experience and i want the same thing you

want which is the same thing you want

and you want what we all want is to be

able to live out

the truest

highest expression of ourselves as a

human being

that doesn’t end until you take your

last breath what is the truest

highest

vision that you hold for yourself no

matter where you are in your life

there’s always the next level there’s

always the next level to the last breath

so i feel that i always knew that i

would get be done with the show when i

felt like oh i’ve said as much as i

could say here

on this platform and then how will i be

used if there were if there were a theme

song to my life amazing grace would be

one of them

so i feel that until you have used your

value as a human being you’re not done

my biggest frustration is not just with

young women my biggest frustration is

also with young men young people who

think

that and i have a lot of this with my

girls in college

they think

that success

is supposed to happen like that

yeah they think

that there isn’t a process to it

they think that they’re supposed to come

out of college and have their brand

and um

i recognize now that i am a brand but i

was resistant to being called a brand

for many years because i was like i’m a

brand i’m not a brand i’m a person but

how i got to be a brand was not trying

to be a brand how i got to be a brand

was every day

making choices that felt like this is

the right move now that’s the right move

and now that’s the next right move the

next right move and so my frustration

with young women and young men is that

they think it’s supposed to happen like

this and they don’t understand that

there’s a process

[Music]

i always understood that there really

was no difference between me and the

audience

at times i might have had better shoes

but at the core

the core

of of what really matters

that we are the same and you know how i

know that because

all of us are seeking the same thing

you’re here at this fabulous school

and will go out into the world and each

pursue based upon what you believe your

talents are

what your skills are maybe your gifts

are

but you’re seeking the same thing

everybody wants to fulfill

the highest

truest

expression

of yourself

as a human being that’s what you’re

looking for

the highest

truest

expression of yourself as a human being

and because i understand that i

understand that if you’re working in a

bakery

and that’s where you want to be

and that may be that that may be what

you’ve always wanted to do is to bake

pies for people or bake cakes for people

or to offer your gift then then that’s

that’s for you and there’s no difference

between you and me except that’s how

that’s your platform that’s your show

every day so my understanding of that

has allowed me to you know everyone to

reach everyone and and there’s no way

that you wouldn’t because that’s that’s

what i truly feel the way through the

challenge

is to get still

and ask yourself what is the next right

move

not think about oh i got all of this

stuff what is the next right move and

then from that space make the next right

move and the next right move and not to

be overwhelmed by it because you know

your life is bigger than that one moment

you know you’re not defined by what

somebody says is a failure for you

because failure is just there to point

you in a different direction

if i leave you with nothing else it’s

just know this for sure

there is not one

thing

that has ever happened to you

not one experience

not one encounter not one crisis not one

joyful thing that hasn’t

happened

just to make you better and help you

rise

every single thing you’re calling in

whether you know it or not when you

figure out that you are calling it in

when you actually start meditating or

praying or doing or having a spiritual

practice which is the number one thing

you need if you want to be successful in

the world you need something that gives

back and nourishes you

regardless of what you call that you

need to you need to fill your cup so

that you can be so full your cup runneth

over and you have enough to give to

other people if you don’t fill your cup

you end up dried up

you end up tired exhausted and don’t

have enough to give to other people you

end up resentful every time somebody

asks you because your cup is empty and

now they want some of yours

[Music]

so your number one job your number one

job is to fill

your cup and make yourself whole

so for me the foundational base of

empowerment of entrepreneurship

of any kind of engagement the

foundational base of my success

of my well-being my wholeness my

everything

is knowing who i am and where i come

from

[Applause]

in my living room right now

is a painting that i’ve owned now for 30

years

you can google it

it’s called to the highest bidder

and it’s at the center of my house

because it actually is symbolic of the

foundation of not the house but the

foundation for my life the painting is

by harry rosalind who was a genre

painter painter in the

early 20th late 19th century

and the painting is over six feet tall

and it shows a slave woman

on the auction block

holding her daughter’s hand

and i cannot come in the door my front

door or i cannot leave without passing

that painting i am reminded of where i

come from every day of my life and i am

reminded because i never want to forget

and in my library

i have a framed list of enslaved

african-american people remember i

showed you

who were held in bondage on various

plantations

listed in the ledgers alongside

the cows

and the horses

and the buggies

and the other property and i pass this

list every day

and often i stop in front of it and just

speak their names

out loud and their ages

jonas

11 years old 500

sarah

41 years old

900

elizabeth

eight hundred dollars

and i force myself to consider

the absurdity and the obscenity

of prices being affixed to each one

should they be placed up for sale

and i sometimes just pause before them

with a prayer

particularly before i have to make a big

decision about

one of my companies or

whether i move forward or whether i stay

still

it reminds me speaking those names out

loud

not only of where i’ve come from

but how far

i have to go

because of them

and it reminds me that i am never alone

it reminds me of what i’ve come through

to get through

i say to the my girls

all of the time that your real work

is to figure out where your power base

and to work on the alignment of your

personality your gifts that you have to

give with the real reason why you’re

here that’s that’s the number one thing

you have to do

is to work on yourself and to fill your

self

and keep your cup full keep yourself

full now i used to be afraid of that

i used to be afraid particularly from

people who say oh she said she’s still

fella

she’s so close herself and now

i embrace it

i i consider it a compliment that i am

full of myself

because you only when you’re full i’m

full i’m overflowing my cup run is over

i have so much i have so much to offer

and so much to give and i am not afraid

of honoring myself you know it’s

miraculous when you think about it

everybody has a different talent

and the reason we’re all so messed up is

because you’re looking at everybody

else’s talent

and wishing you had some of their talent

all the energy that you spend thinking

about wishing about being jealous of

envious of anybody else is energy that

you’re not only putting out is going to

come back to you negatively but you’re

taking that away from you

all your energy should be forced on what

do i have to offer what do i have to

give how can i be used in service

because dr king’s message of not

everybody can be famous but everybody

can be great because greatness is

determined by service and there is not a

job in here that you can do that you

don’t switch the paradigm to service and

not make that job more fulfilling i

don’t care what the job is if you say

i’m a singer i’m a dancer i’m an artist

i’m a teacher i’m a nurse i’m a doctor

i’m a janitor i’m a i’m a clerk

if you say if i look at this from how do

i use this in service to something

bigger than myself

it no longer becomes a job it becomes an

offering to the world

the first law is

the third law of motion in physics which

says for every action there’s an equal

and opposite reaction and we showed that

very beautifully in the color purple

when messily says to mister everything

you even try to do to me is already done

to you

that is not just a rhetorical saying

that is law that is newton’s third law

of motion

in physics which says everything that

goes out

is coming back it’s just like everything

that goes up is coming down may take a

long time to come down it’s coming down

everything that goes out is coming back

it’s coming back so

to answer the power of manifestation and

meditation what meditation does is sync

you up with the source

what meditation does is allows you to

literally tap into the power that

created you so that you are in alignment

with that

and so when you carry that out into the

world everything that you do

comes from the center of that alignment

that’s coming from the source that we

call god we call divine energy divine

intelligence whatever name you want to

give it we call life when you are synced

up with life

life just gives to you

[Music]

the number one lesson i could offer you

where your work is concerned is this

become so skilled

so vigilant so flat out fantastic

at what you do

that your talent cannot be dismissed

you know when i was a kid i thought i

was going to uh

be a social worker or be a teacher or

somehow be in an environment where i

would be connected and speaking to

people to honor that calling i had no

idea that god could dream this big dream

a television life for myself but

everybody has a calling

and your real job in life is to figure

out as soon as possible what that is

who you were meant to be

and begin to honor that in the best way

possible for yourself we have seen over

the years on the oprah show so many

people who’ve been able to rise to

success in their life and only able to

rise to success because they answered

the call lots of people think that it’s

about being famous or about being known

or about doing big big incredible things

what you’re going to hear today and see

through the stories

is that

sometimes the calling is

right in your own neighborhood sometimes

the calling is

something that

was just a whisper to you and when you

begin to honor that whisper

and to follow that

you end up being the best that you could

i actually thought at the time

that being thin

made me better

uh my identification with form my

wanting so

desperately to be in a size 10 gene was

so prominent

identifying with that that shortly after

this i gained five pounds

and i was invited to a party at the time

by don johnson remember dreamy dawn

johnson i was invited to a holiday party

and i did not go to that party because i

thought the five pounds

made me too fat

not good enough to be a don johnson’s

party sounds kind of sick now i know

but that’s what the ego does it is uh

it’s just it is sick it’s wily it’s

cunning it’s deceptive it’s an imposter

imposing on the real you

making you often think that you’re

something that you’re not

you’re not the shape of your body

you’re not your status

you’re not your position in life you’re

not the car you drive no matter how

fancy it is you’re not

your house or your square footage for

all of you watching right now here’s

another way to better understand ego

what i’m talking about eckhart taught me

this everybody try this from home where

or wherever you are right now close your

eyes

and

notice what you’re thinking

notice your thoughts

now

who is thinking those thoughts

can you notice that there is a space

where you are observing the thoughts

and where you are aware of the thoughts

that you were observing

eckhart says you are that awareness

disguised as a person

and when i got that

i understood the difference between my

true self

and my ego self

over the years we’ve heard invaluable

information

that in a moment of danger could be

life-saving

nothing i heard made a greater

impression on me than back in 1991 i

think we were beginning our fifth season

and a man named sanford strong came on

and shared this never forgot it rule

number one

and frankly it’s probably in my opinion

the most important

never

allow them

to take you somewhere else

never

if everyone in this room and everyone

watching this program has never drawn

the line

and made a decision

on crime protection

you better make it when they decide to

move you from crime scene number one to

crime scene number two because the crime

scene number two it’s going to be

isolated you won’t choose it you’ll be

the focus of the crime

i think what was so

interesting about that piece of advice

is at the time that we all heard that

we had been trained as women people

especially to believe that you just do

whatever they say whatever they say go

along with it and what’s important for

those of you who are watching right now

and

those of you who are on the internet

with us right now to know is that it’s

all about using your gut in the moment

and people who’ve survived horrific

circumstances talk about listening to

that intuition and every move being made

calculated on listening to what your gut

says

what the experts now say is do not allow

yourself to be taken to the second

location because anybody who is trying

to harm you

wants to get you to an isolated place

where they can do that without other

people seeing or knowing it so in that

moment of making the decision oh you’re

going to shoot me if you’re going to

shoot me

you have to shoot me now

rather than shoot me in isolation where

nobody can see you whenever somebody has

said something that made the little

hairs on my arms or neck stand up i know

that if that’s happening to me that’s

also happening to somebody else too

the way to make movies is to do stuff

that you love because you know for 25

years i worked on the oprah show

and

uh steven will tell you that there were

nights that i came home and i almost you

know it’s hard to even like take off my

clothes because i knew i was going to be

getting up four hours later but i never

really felt exhausted

like depl never i felt exhausted but i

never felt depleted so do the work that

comes straight from

the soul of you from your background

from stories that you’ve grown up with

from stories that bring you passion from

stories that you uh not just yearn to

tell

but that if you don’t tell them they

won’t get told and when you when you are

operating you know the single the single

greatest uh

wisdom i think i’ve ever received other

than when people show who they are is

that

the key to fulfillment success

happiness

contentment in life

is when you align

your personality

with what your soul actually came to do

i believe everybody has a soul and has

you know their own personal

spiritual energy so when you can use

your personality to serve whatever that

thing is

you can’t help but be successful so if

you do films that come from the interior

of your soul you do work you do art that

comes from the interior of you

it you cannot miss

it’s only when you’re doing stuff that

you think might make money you think it

may be

hit or you think it may

uh bring you some level of attention or

success that isn’t what does it i would

have to say that all of the great

wonderful experiences of my life that

have brought me to this moment have come

from working from the interior of myself

and so that’s why it feels so authentic

because it

it actually is

so when you do that you’ll win

and everybody has a different talent

and the reason we’re all so messed up is

because you’re looking at everybody

else’s talent

and wishing you had some of their talent

all the energy that you spend thinking

about wishing about being jealous of

envious of anybody else is energy that

you’re not only putting out is going to

come back to you negatively but you’re

taking that away from you

all your energy should be forced on what

do i have to offer what do i have to

give how can i be used in service

because dr king’s message of not

everybody can be famous but everybody

can be great because greatness is

determined by service and there is not a

job in here that you can do that you

don’t switch the paradigm to service

and not make that job more fulfilling i

don’t care what the job is if you say

i’m a singer i’m a dancer i’m an artist

i’m a teacher i’m a nurse i’m a doctor

i’m a janitor i’m a i’m a clerk about if

you say if i look at this from how do i

use this in service to something bigger

than myself

it no longer becomes a job it becomes an

offering to the world i first started

making money and it was you know my

salary

or my earnings

were

published all over the place i mean the

first year i was like really did i make

that much money oh my god

it was very difficult for me to figure

out where my boundaries were

because i’d grown up poor and didn’t

have anything

so it’s easy when you don’t have

anything and people ask you for money

and they say i need 500 you say i don’t

have it because i’m just trying to get

my rent paid

it’s harder when your

multi-billion dollar salary is now in

the paper and you get a lot of friends

and cousins you didn’t have before

so how do you set

boundaries for yourself i was having

trouble setting boundaries myself for

myself for even strangers people would

just show up at my door in chicago and

say oh bro i left my husband please help

and i would because

she knows i have it

so what i learned was is that

oh the reason why people keep showing up

is because my intention is to make them

think that i’m such a nice person

that

you can ask me for anything

you can get me to do anything i’m going

to say yes i’m going to say yes so when

stevie called me this time i thought i’d

try out my first no on stevie let’s

start big

he wanted me to donate some money to a

charity and i didn’t want to donate to

the charity

because

i have my own charities and i care about

a lot of people but the the problem is

when you you have money everybody thinks

you just want to give to everything so

every letter i ever get starts with we

know you love the children

[Music]

yes i do love the children but somebody

else is going to have to help the

children

so i said to stevie uh i said to stevie

as a person who has that disease to

please i was waiting for him then just

to say

i will never speak to you again

i will never call you i will never sing

a song for you

and he didn’t he just said okay

okay

okay it’s okay he said okay check you

later

and

what i learned from that is

many times you will have angst and worry

about things

and

put yourself in a state like someone

said this morning because their phone

went off they were mortified over a

phone i said really

you will put yourself in a state when

the other person really isn’t even

thinking about you

learning that i could specifically

determine for myself what the boundaries

were for me

what i wanted to do

give my money give my time give of my

service to who i wanted to give it to

when i did that i get to make that

decision and just because you get a

hundred requests a week doesn’t mean you

have to try to fulfill all of that just

because you have all of these demands on

your time and on you doesn’t mean that

you

have to say yes you get to decide

because you’re the master of your fate

the captain of your soul as william

ernest henley said in invictus and

understanding that really changed the

meaning of my life in that i was not

no longer driven by what

other people wanted me to do

but took charge of my own destiny making

choices based upon what do i feel

is the next right move for me

there was one woman out of all the

celebrities out of all of the

famous non-famous infamous people one

woman

from

who is she her name is tarai trent

listen to the story

i’m going to try to shorten it for you

guys okay tara right trent born and

raised in a village in zimbabwe 11 years

old she’s doing her brother’s homework

she wants to go to school her father

says no you’re a girl you have to

educate the boyfriend yes that’s right

that’s right the boy has to go to school

you can’t go to school so she starts

doing her brother’s homework

she does his brother’s homework he goes

to school he gets all a’s on his

homework yet he doesn’t know the answer

to the question the teacher comes to the

village to say what is going on here

this boy doesn’t know the answers but

his homework’s perfect she finds out

that tarai his younger sister is doing

his homework she begs the father to let

terrorize go to school the father says

no she can’t go to school finally he

marries her off she marries at 11 and a

half years old she gets married she has

three children by the time she’s 18

years old a woman comes to the village

from an ngo heifer international and

asks what are your dreams this is going

to make me cry finally

ask her what are your dreams

this child has never thought about what

her dreams were she says write down your

dreams she writes down her dreams on a

piece of paper and she folds them in a

tin can and she buries them under a rock

the first dream was to be able to go to

the school and go to a school in the

united states of america

and get a college degree she ends up

through some miracle of the ngo going to

the united states she gets a college

degree wow yes she gets a four-year

degree in three years terrorized trent

she goes back to the rock in zimbabwe

she writes her next goal on the piece of

paper she buries it under the rock she

writes i want to get a master’s degree

she goes back to uni and said she gets a

master’s degree by this time she now has

five children she’s married to a man who

still beats her incredible

she goes back united states she gets her

master’s degree after the master’s

degree she goes back to the rock in

zimbabwe she writes down her final goal

is to get a doctorate degree and last

year she became dr tararai trent where

did you find it where did i find it um

i found

her

in the in the nicholas kristoff’s book

called

something the sky underneath the sky or

the sky and nico i found her in nicholas

christoph’s book

and i was reading the story

i had nicholas kristoff on the show

nicholas kristoff the famous new york

times writer

and

she wasn’t there she wasn’t a part of

the ch i’m reading the story i can’t

believe this book the story of this

woman as i’m reading the story

so when we go to do the show

the producers have nicholas kristoff on

they bring on other guests but this

woman isn’t there i go how could you not

have her there so we tape another show

with nicholas kristoff we go back and go

fine we’re going to find that woman

terror right trend this time by this

time she’s living in the united states

we followed her back to zimbabwe to the

rock

we pulled the tin can from underneath

the rock

and that is my favorite guest of all

time and the worst

i don’t have a worst i don’t have a

worse but the reason why she and as i

said this on my show the reason why tara

rai trent is my favorite guest of all

time is because she represents in that

one story of the little girl in a

village in zimbabwe who had a dream

and the heart and depth and discipline

to pursue it she represents everything i

tried to say in every show in 25 years

she literally through her life story

sums up the message that i was trying to

give to every single one of my viewers

you can

keep trying

don’t give up you have to believe you

have to believe

over the years the century so many

teachers and poets and songwriters have

talked about the significance of knowing

yourself i know we’ve all heard to thine

own self be true shakespeare or

learning to love yourself is the

greatest love of all whitney houston

what i know for sure is

that in all the talk about loving

yourself you can’t begin to love

yourself or even be true to yourself

unless you know

who

you are

separate from your ego

so think about this for a moment you’re

at home listening watching me and taking

in the thoughts that i’m sharing right

now

and

there is an inner space that allows you

to perceive these thoughts

little not even a space i’m just using

the word space because there is no other

word there is

the

ability to perceive what i’m saying

and be aware of what i’m saying

that is where the true you abides in

that awareness in the very center of

yourself

and when you stray from that center you

get lost

and you make mistakes

i learned this the hard way your ego

takes over

everybody has an ego i used to think the

ego showed itself through um

someone being arrogant or

stuck up or haughty

or the who does she think she is

printing down a red carpet kind of thing

well

i’m in show business in the business of

showing myself

so i’m aware that there’s a lot of

egotism involved in this business and i

always thought that i

had my ego in check until i realized

that it’s not just the obvious it’s not

always acting out or showing off

in 2008

i chose eckhart tolle’s book a new earth

for my book club and this book will

change the way

you view your life and the people around

you and your world chapters three and

four literally changed the way i saw

myself and my ego

it changed for me what ego meant

and totally says that’s any

identification with form

meaning any identification identifying

with something that is not the center of

yourself that is possessions material

things cars

titles social status or in my case

identifying with the deep desire to be

thin

you will find true success and happiness

if you have only one goal there really

is only one and that is this

fulfill

the highest

most truthful

expression

of yourself

as a human being

you want to max out your humanity

by using your energy to lift yourself up

your family and the people around you

theologian howard thurman said it best

he said don’t ask yourself what the

world needs

ask yourself what makes you come alive

and then go do that

because what the world needs is people

who have come alive

the world needs

[Applause]

[Music]

people like michael stahlzenberg from

fort lauderdale when michael was just

eight years old michael nearly died from

a bacterial infection that cost him both

of his hands and both of his feet

and in an instant this vibrant little

boy became a quadruple amputee

and his life

was changed forever

but in losing who he once was

michael discovered who he wanted to be

he refused to sit in that wheelchair all

day and feel sorry for himself so with

prosthetics he learned to walk

and run and play again

he joined his middle school lacrosse

team and last month when he learned that

so many victims of the boston marathon

bombing would become new amputees

michael decided to banish that darkness

with light

michael and his brother harris created

mikeysrun.com

to raise one million dollars for other

amputees

by the time harris runs the 2014 boston

marathon

more than a thousand miles away from

here

these two young brothers

are bringing people together to support

this boston community the way their

community came together to support

michael

and when this 13 year old man was asked

about his fellow amputees he said this

first they will be sad

they’re losing something

they will never get back

and that’s scary

i was scared

but they’ll be

okay they just don’t know that yet

we might not always know it

we might not always see it or hear it

on the news

or even feel it in our daily lives but i

have faith

that

no matter what

class of 2013

you will be okay

and you will make sure our country is

okay

i have faith because of that

nine-year-old girl who went out and

collected the change

i have faith because of david and

francine wheeler i have faith because of

michael and harris stolzenberg and i

have faith because of you the network of

angels sitting here today one of them

khadijah williams who came to harvard

four years ago

khadijah had attended 12 schools in 12

years

living out of garbage bags amongst pimps

and prostitutes and drug dealers

homeless

going into department stores walmart in

the morning to bathe herself so that she

wouldn’t smell in front of her

classmates

and today she graduates as a member of

the harvard class

of 2013. nobody’s journey is seamless or

smooth we all stumble we all have

setbacks if things go wrong you hit a

dead end as you will

it’s just life’s way of saying

time to change course

so ask every failure this is what i do

every failure every crisis every

difficult time i say what is this here

to teach me

and as soon as you get the lesson

you get to move on

if you really get the lesson you pass

and you don’t have to repeat the class

if you don’t get the lesson it shows up

wearing another pair of pants

or skirt

to give you some remedial work

and what i found is that difficulties

come when you don’t pay attention to

life’s whisper

because life always whispers to you

first first and if you ignore the

whisper sooner or later you’ll get a

scream

whatever you resist persists but if you

ask the right question not why is this

happening but what is this here to teach

me what is this here to teach me it puts

you in the place and space to get the

lesson you need my friend cartoli

uh who’s written this wonderful book

uh called a new earth

that’s all about letting the awareness

of who you are stimulate everything that

you do he puts it like this he says

don’t react against a bad situation

merge with that situation instead and

the solution will arise from the

challenge

because surrendering yourself doesn’t

mean giving up it means acting with

responsibility

okay

many of you know that as president

hennessey said i started this school

in africa

and

i founded the school where i’m trying to

give south african girls a shot at a

future like yours stanford

and i spent five years making sure that

school would be as beautiful as the

students

i wanted every girl to feel her worth

reflected in her surroundings so i

checked every blueprint

i picked every pillow

i was looking at the grout in between

the bricks i knew every thread count of

the sheets i chose every girl from the

villages from nine provinces and yet

last fall i was faced with a crisis i’d

never anticipated i was told that one of

the dorm matrons was suspected of sexual

abuse

well that was as you can imagine

devastating news

first i cried actually i sobbed for

about a half an hour

and then i said let’s get to it

that’s all you get is a half an hour

you need to focus on the now

what you need to do now so i contacted a

child trauma specialist i put together a

team of investigators i made sure the

girls had counseling and support and

gail and i got on a plane and flew to

south africa and the whole time i kept

asking that question

what is this here to teach me

and as difficult as that experience has

been

i got a lot of lessons

i understand now the mistakes i made

because i

had been paying attention to all of the

wrong things

i built that school from the outside in

when what really mattered was the inside

out

so it’s a lesson that applies to all of

our lives as a whole what matters most

is what’s inside what matters most is

the sense of

integrity of quality and beauty i got

that lesson and what i know is is that

the girls came away with something too

they’ve emerged from this more resilient

and knowing that their voices

have power

[Music]

there’s a bigger dream waiting for you

just waiting

for you

to step into it

to step into it your life is big

your life is huge and we spend so much

time

wanting to be in somebody else’s life

and you don’t get honored

you don’t get revered you don’t get

celebrating wanting what somebody else

has

[Music]

because

that which created you divine

intelligence that dreamed you from

before your ancestors ever knew

they would become

your ancestors that which dream the seed

of you

wants you to know how special how

wondrous how mysterious how complex how

glorious how phenomenal you are

and you get no credit

messing in somebody else’s territory

[Music]

or trying to have

power

over something you have no control

another one of my favorite teachings is

the wizard of oz

when the wicked which is the west says

go away from here because you don’t have

any power here you have no power in any

territory other than your

own oh but you are the master of that

you get to be the master of your own

fate you get to be the captain of your

own soul and if you just manage that

if you just took care of your territory

all the glorious glorious glorious

wondrous

wondrous opportunities and possibilities

that are waiting for you so the question

is what are you resisting

what are you pushing against

what are you not allowing what are you

blocking because you have this idea of

who and what you’re supposed to be

instead of

leaning into the dream that’s already

been created and waiting for you it’s

waiting for you and the second i mean it

doesn’t it’s an instant thing it’s a

shift in the way you see yourself and

the power from which you have come

[Music]

practicing gratitude it is my single

most

important life practice i’d have to say

and i know with thanksgiving coming many

people think about being thankful

there’s lots to talk about

thanksgiving and blessings but

that’s kind of like going to church on

just christmas and easter it counts but

it’s not consistent because for me

gratitude is something that

is necessary and should be practiced

every day because making space for

appreciating what you have

opens you up for a happier more

fulfilled existence i guarantee while

ensuring that those blessings just keep

flowing this is the truth it’s a law

what you focus on in your life expands

so focusing on what you’re grateful for

increases positive vibrations and

feelings of joy just one good feeling

builds on another good feeling and

another and if you actively appreciate

all that you have in life no matter how

small it is what you

notice is that you end up having more

and when you hone in on what you don’t

have you never have enough so being

grateful i’ve learned allows us to fill

in the cracks and crevices between what

we desire and what we already have with

positivity so we can pave the way for

grace

to show up and lead to an even better

life so how do you make gratitude a

habit for me

the first thing i do in the morning is i

read some sort of spiritual

enlightenment that allows me to start

the day with a positive frame of mind

that will only

help usher in even more positive energy

and for me that is the daily word which

is christian based or the book of psalms

also christian mark nepo’s book of

awakening is just spiritual no religion

with a daily meditation

and rumi or mary oliver there’s

something called bowl of sake that i

love too it’s a spiritual sufi teachings

that you can download for free into your

inbox but the greatest thing that i’ve

ever done

is having a gratitude journal so i

started one over 20 years ago and every

day for years now i write down five

things that i am grateful for i believe

you gotta write them down because there

is power power power in the written word

and it can be anything big or small some

days those things will come easy

you know a chat with a close friend or

taking a walk in the crisp fall air

having a loved one cook you at dinner or

bring you a

cup of tea some days it might be

difficult to even think of anything

and that’s completely normal and when

things don’t easily come to mind

go back to your breath

because if you breathe in you ought to

be grateful

know that you have that and simply

opening your eyes in the morning and

having that breath is a gift

but every day i consistently write down

five things that i’m grateful for

sometimes it’s more than five but if i

can’t get to five i just go breath

breath breath

gratitude is a posture

of your heart

a choice and a privilege so i hope that

you’ll make the choice to initiate a

daily gratitude practice if you haven’t

already i’ve been saying it for years

because this i know for sure sure

appreciating noting the delights that

show up in your life

will ensure more goodness is coming your

way

after a year like nobody has ever

experienced i believe that the best

thing we can collectively do is to take

care of our individual cells now i know

that might sound oversimplified and even

selfish to some people but this is what

i know for sure that you have to feed

yourself with love and loving thoughts

in order to show up

more fortified and complete

to give other people your love we hear

about self-care so much these days but

what does it really mean well for me

it’s about engaging in practices that

fill you up in every way that means

eating foods that are both enjoyable and

nourishing giving your body the gift of

some form of movement every day

and surrounding yourself with people

whose energy uplifts you this is so

important

also creating space in your day or at

least just give yourself at least a

minimum of five minutes of stillness

that alone time is so crucial when you

can distance yourself from the voices of

the world

so you can hear your own voice loud and

clear that’s why

i have dedicated sundays as my time for

recalibration and renewal

so sometimes it’s just a simple walk in

nature

just sitting out in the backyard

all of it that alone time helps me

re-center refuel me for whatever the

coming week is and however that shows up

for you that’s what you need to do for

you i love how glennon doyle put it in

her book love warrior she said i have

met myself

and i’m going to care for her fiercely

so i know we have to be reminded as

women people to continuously make

ourselves a priority because when you

truly value yourself the world reflects

that worth back to you nobody needs to

be reminded of the importance of

self-care though more than mothers

so we all know that back in normal times

before there was a pandemic moms had so

much on their plates

managing the needs of children and

spouses and households and in-laws and

that’s why i have so much respect for

people who do it well

and now the pandemic has taken its toll

from juggling increased child care

demands to mental health ramifications

to economic strain from the more than

you know five million jobs of women were

lost since february of 2020.

so we know mothers are carrying a heavy

load on their shoulders

and that’s just another indication that

self-focus

on yourself is so important

is there someone you need to forgive

it’s one of the most difficult

principles of life to practice but it

can also be one of the most rewarding

it’s one of the grandest gifts you can

give to yourself

you forgive

and you become relieved of the heavy

burden

of resentment that you’ve been carrying

that’s weighing you down you become

lighter literally and things in your

life begin to fall into place

so as someone who has experienced abuse

during childhood i know very well

that the struggle to forgive the people

in your life who have hurt you

is is real and it’s painful

but know this it’s not about condoning

whatever it is that person did to

mistreat you

it is about allowing what they did to

affect how you live your life now

dr joel jampolsky put it to me this way

years ago on the oprah show was a big

aha aha moment that i’ve accepted now as

spiritual law when he said forgiveness

is giving up the hope that the past

could have been any different i repeat

that forgiveness is giving up the hope

that what would a quarter could have

should have happened in fact

it did not happen it’s accepting the

reality of what did happen

and moving on

this truth has been fundamental in

allowing me to live my best life it was

transformative you have to come to the

realization that what might have been

is not what is

easy to hear i know

and harder to do

you gotta sit with the hurt

feel it

it’s uncomfortable

but when you can rise up and just really

meet that pain face to face and then let

it flow through you

only then can you let it go and step out

of the hurt of your history into the

possibility of the present

i’ve carried this lesson from iyanla

vanzant with me for some time i remember

years ago on the show she said you can

accept or reject the way you are treated

by other people but until you heal the

wounds of your past you will continue to

bleed you can bandage the bleeding with

food with alcohol with drugs with work

with cigarettes with sex she said but

eventually

it’s gonna ooze through and stain your

life

you must find the strength to open up

the wounds stick your hands inside pull

out the core of the pain that is holding

you in your past the memories and make

peace with them so here’s the formula

accept what has happened forgive others

forgive yourself accept the now

that is the recipe to begin healing and

give up the hope that the past could

have been anything other than what it

actually was

whatever happened

helped to make you you

my hope is that you find the courage to

relinquish all your grudges because

what i do know for sure is that on the

other side of forgiveness

freedom the freedom to live the life for

which you were intended and the one you

actually deserve

[Music]

there are so many feelings that we’ve

all experienced over the past year and a

half

as a collective

so we’re all in it together i know we’ve

heard that before a lot of people don’t

believe it but we’re in it together

feeling the same things whether we agree

on what we’re feeling or not and one of

the abiding feelings i know

is the sense of uncertainty not knowing

for sure what is next so

our lives have been shaken up and

shifted to say the least which has made

a lot of us uncertain of what is on the

horizon when will we go back to the

office full time what is that going to

require me how long will we be wearing

masks how long will we be fighting about

masks when will all of this be over and

it it really is completely natural to

not have all of the answers so one thing

i do know for sure is that we all have

to let go

knowing

of having complete control

and being able to ready ourselves to

navigate waves of change as they come

but how do we do that

anxiety comes when we live in the

unpredictable nuances of the future all

the what-ifs you know i remember when i

was on trial back in 1998 for

disparaging a burger and had to sit in a

courtroom for six weeks in amarillo

thank you very much and in the beginning

of that trial i had so much anxiety

learning to stay focused on just that

day and not the multiple days ahead is

what actually kept me sane

so i think we all must practice becoming

more comfortable stepping into the

unknown and when those uncertain

overwhelmed

feelings creep in you need to make an

effort to stay in the present moment and

just be still

and breathe

and say to yourself i am here now and

right now everything is okay all is well

i’ll be well

and there’s nothing i cannot handle so

take some time to be quiet enough to

listen to your internal gps your truer

self and let the clamor of the world

dissipate listen to the whispers as i

like to say and then let

that guide you sometimes just the fear

of uncertainty can stop us from taking

the next step toward a breakthrough but

we cannot let uncertainty

just fester and morph then into doubt

doubt that your fortitude that your

determination that your values won’t

have your back as you navigate whatever

is coming next now they’ve been there

for you in the past they’re there for

you now and they will be by your side as

time goes on so look at where you’ve

come from how far you’ve journeyed to

get to the you that you are now

and you’re still adapting evolving to an

ever better

version of yourself hopefully that’s

what we’re all trying to do

who you are

and what you believe in can remain

steadfast and rooted enough to take on

uncertainty

there is so

much going on in the world right now

mass mandates are changing all over the

country as vaccination rates are

going up travel is coming back a return

to working in the office may be in the

foreseeable future for a lot of you and

as we look to this next chapter after

such a long and challenging stretch i

think it’s time for us all to think

about refreshing ourselves in a way that

allows us to keep what matters most turn

over what we’re ready to let go of and

make room for the new

in our world

in our lives so i don’t know about you

all but i am forever changed by all of

these months away from the bustle of the

world and i will forever more carefully

choose what has to have my attention and

what does not because i’ve learned a lot

of things do not so when we hit that

little refresh button on our computers

or phones it updates everything so

quickly and just like that so simple

sometimes it’s even automated so there’s

not even anything thinking about it

a refresh though in real life

as we know takes effort it takes time

takes patience so be kind to yourself

during these days check in be still

until you can hear and feel the answers

you need for moving forward

and always feel blessed

that we survived a pandemic

and we have another chance

to get things right

in our daily lives

and i would say

that the best way to begin to figure out

who

you are really meant to be

is to ask the universe

god that question

god how can i be used in service to

myself first and how can i then use that

service to serve the world

use your life to serve the world and you

will find that it also serves you

one of the biggest mistakes people make

is thinking that they have to get paid a

lot of money or even get paid at all for

their calling

you are here to honor your calling

whether you’re paid for it or not if you

can get paid for it that makes life

exponentially better

but if you are not paid for it that is

also really just fine because honoring

the calling feeds everything else you do

in your life

letting go of energy that’s clouding

your vision and holding you back it’s a

life practice that i learned long ago

that has freed me

so many ways it’s a fact that holding

grudges against somebody who’s done you

wrong or

replaying revisiting hurtful situations

in your head over and over only weighs

you down and prevents you from being who

you’re meant to be

right now because you’re still

energetically holding on to the past the

energy that you put into constantly

rewinding to the resentment why did they

do that why did they say that to me i

didn’t deserve to be treated that way

all of that only keeps you stuck

it will never change what happened you

gotta press stop

and reject the urge to keep replaying

so that you can then fast forward into

the now for yourself you know

a lot of people think

that holding on to things that

disempowered them

is going to somehow magically turn it

around

as i said in my message a couple weeks

ago about forgiveness

you have to release the notion give up

the hope that the past could have been

any different and you also must release

the idea that people would do what you

might do in any given instance this is a

big one i had to learn and relearn

before i actually got it expecting

people to do what you would do in a

situation only leads to your

disappointment

not theirs they’re going on with their

life

so let people be who they are and either

you accept it or you don’t

not doing that keeps you stuck in a

circumstance that actually costs you

time costs you energy and i can

guarantee that oftentimes the person on

the other side of the bitterness you’re

holding on to they’re not even thinking

about you

in fact they probably have just moved on

they certainly aren’t obsessing the way

you are think of it like letting go of

any bad habit that just doesn’t serve

your well-being

not an easy task

taking the road to a more enlightened

healthy existence never is so

this is what i want to ask you to ask

yourself

why

am i holding on to this

how is this serving me

and really think about the answer

maybe it makes you feel validated maybe

it makes you feel righteous

or maybe

taking on the pain is your way of

recognizing the injustice so that even

though it won’t be made right

it can at least not be forgotten

then i ask you

again ask yourself

do you want to be right

or do you want peace

this was huge for me the unfortunate

fact is that having both may not be

possible and also you may never get your

moment of righteousness so why wait for

it choose peace

what i know for sure

is that in this world time is a moving

on and it’s our most valuable commodity

you can never get it back

so staying in that loop playing it over

and over in your head of hurt only

amplifies your pain let it go exhale

make room in your heart for something

that is uplifting

surround yourself with people who want

the best for you you have the ability to

shift the dna of your spirit and control

how you perceive life so why not lighten

your load and let it go

[Music]

knowing when you know better you do

better we’re ready to move on to what i

think is another powerful lesson that i

started to get when i was a really young

girl having been raised by my

grandmother and then at six years old

being separated from my grandmother

being moved to milwaukee and suddenly in

a foreign environment for myself i

remember walking into that new space and

recognizing that

in many ways i was alone which is a

terrible feeling if you’re six years old

but i have always had the deep

understanding for myself

that if anything was going to move

forward in my life that i was going to

have to be responsible for making that

happen

and

i know that to be true now and can

articulate it as you are responsible

for your

life and if you’re sitting around

waiting on somebody to save you to fix

you to even help you

you are wasting your time because only

you have the power to take

responsibility to move your life forward

and the sooner you get that the sooner

your life gets into gear this is what i

know from doing 25 years and thousands

and thousands of interviews on the oprah

show

it does not matter where you come from

i have seen people come out of the

desert walk across the desert being born

in the most dire circumstances doesn’t

matter what your mama did whether she

did or had a phd or no d

what matters is now this moment and your

willingness to see this moment for what

it is accept it

forgive the past take responsibility

and move forward

[Music]

you