The Landlady Audiobook Short Story by Roald Dahl Learn English Through Story

good morning oh and in case i don’t see

you good afternoon good evening and good

night

the landlady by roald dahl

[Music]

billy weaver had traveled down from

london on the slow afternoon train with

a change at swindon on the way

and by the time he got to bath it was

about nine o’clock in the evening and

the moon was coming up out of a clear

starry sky over the houses opposite the

station entrance

but the air was deadly cold and the wind

was like a flat blade of ice on his

cheeks

excuse me he said but is there a fairly

cheap hotel not too far away from here

try the bell and dragon the porter

answered pointing down the road they

might take you in it’s about a quarter

of a mile along on the other side billy

thanked him and picked up his suitcase

and set out to walk the quarter mile to

the bell and dragon

he had never been to bath before he

didn’t know anyone who lived there but

mr greenslade at the head office in

london had told him it was a splendid

city

find your own lodgings he had said and

then go along and report to the branch

manager as soon as you’ve got yourself

settled

billy was 17 years old he was wearing a

new navy blue overcoat

a new brown trilby hat and a new brown

suit and he was feeling fine

he walked briskly down the street he was

trying to do everything briskly these

days

briskness he had decided was the one

common characteristic of all successful

businessmen

the big shots up at the head office were

absolutely fantastically brisk all the

time they were amazing

there were no shops in this wide street

that he was walking along

only a line of tall houses on each side

all of them identical

they had porches and pillars and four or

five steps going up to their front doors

and it was obvious that once upon a time

they had been very swanky residences

but now even in the darkness he could

see that the paint was peeling from the

woodwork on their doors and windows and

that the handsome white facades were

cracked and blotchy from neglect

suddenly in a downstairs window that was

brilliantly illuminated by a street lamp

not six yards away billy caught sight of

a printed notice propped up against the

glass in one of the upper panes

it said bed and breakfast

there was a vas of willows tall

and beautiful standing just underneath

the notice

he stopped walking

he moved a bit closer

green curtains some sort of velvety

material were hanging down on either

side of the window

the willows looked wonderful

beside them

he went right up and peered through the

glass into the room

and the first thing he saw was a bright

fire burning in the hearth

on the carpet in front of the fire a

pretty little dash hound was curled up

asleep with its nose tucked into its

belly

the room itself so far as he could see

in the half darkness was filled with

pleasant furniture there was a baby

grand piano and a big sofa and several

plump arm chairs

and in one corner he spotted a large

parrot in a cage

animals were usually a good sign in a

place like this billy told himself

and all in all it looked to him as

though it would be a pretty decent house

to stay in

certainly it would be more comfortable

than the bell and dragon

on the other hand a pub would be more

congenial than a boarding house

there would be beer and darts in the

evenings and lots of people to talk to

and it would probably be a good bit

cheaper too

he had stayed a couple of nights in a

pub once before and he had liked it he

had never stayed in any boarding houses

and

to be perfectly honest he was a tiny bit

frightened of them

the name itself conjured up images of

watery cabbage rapacious land ladies and

a powerful smell of kippers in the

living room

after dithering about like this in the

cold for two or three minutes billy

decided that he would walk on and take a

look at the bell and dragon before

making up his mind

he turned to go

and now a queer thing happened to him

he was in the act of stepping back and

turning away from the window when all at

once his eye was caught and held in the

most peculiar manner by the small notice

that was there

bed and breakfast it said

bed and breakfast bed and breakfast

bed and breakfast

each word was like a large black eye

staring at him through the glass holding

him compelling him forcing him to stay

where he was and not to walk away from

that house

and the next thing he knew he was

actually moving across from the window

to the front door of the house climbing

the steps that led to it and reaching

for the bell

he pressed the bell

far away in a back room he heard it

ringing and then at once it must have

been at once because he hadn’t even had

time to take his finger from the bell

button the door swung open and a woman

was standing there

normally you ring the bell and you have

at least a half minutes wait before the

door opens but this dame was like a

jack-in-the-box he pressed the bell and

out she popped

it made him jump

she was about 45 or 50 years old and the

moment she saw him she gave him a warm

welcoming smile

please come in she said pleasantly she

stepped aside holding the door wide open

and billy found himself automatically

starting forward into the house the

compulsion or more accurately the desire

to follow after her into that house was

extraordinarily strong

i saw the notice in the window he said

holding himself back yes i know

i was wondering about a room it’s all

ready for you my dear she said she had a

round pink face and very gentle blue

eyes

i was on my way to the bell and dragon

billy told her but the notice in your

window

just happened to catch my eye

my dear boy she said why don’t you come

in out of the cold

how much do you charge

five and sixpence a night including

breakfast

it was fantastically cheap it was less

than half of what he had been willing to

pay

if that is too much she added then

perhaps i can reduce it just a tiny bit

do you desire an egg for breakfast eggs

are expensive at the moment it would be

sixpence less without the egg

five and sixpence is fine he answered i

should like very much to stay here i

knew you would

do come in

she seemed terribly nice

she looked exactly like the mother of

one’s best school friend welcoming one

into the house to stay for the christmas

holidays

billy took off his hat and stepped over

the threshold

just hang it there she said and let me

help you with your coat

there were no other hats or coats in the

hall

there were no umbrellas no walking

sticks

nothing

we have it all to ourselves she said

smiling at him over her shoulder she led

the way upstairs you see it isn’t very

often i have the pleasure of taking a

visitor into my little nest

the old girl is slightly dotty billy

told himself but at five and sixpence a

night who gives a damn about that

i should have thought you’d be simply

swamped with applicants he said politely

oh i am my dear i am of course i am but

the trouble is that i’m inclined to be

just a teeny weeny bit choosy and

particular if you see what i mean

ah

yes

but i’m always ready everything is

always ready day and night in this house

just on the off chance that an

acceptable young gentleman will come

along

and it is such a pleasure my dear such a

very great pleasure when now and again i

open the door and i see someone standing

there who was just exactly right

she was halfway up the stairs and she

paused with one hand on the stair rail

turning her head and smiling down at him

with pale lips

like you she added and her blue eyes

traveled slowly all the way down the

length of billy’s body

to his feet

and then up again

on the first floor landing she said to

him

this floor is mine

they climbed up a second flight

and this one is all yours she said

here’s your room

i do hope you’ll like it

she took him into a small but charming

front bedroom switching on the light as

she went in

the morning sun comes right in the

window mr perkins it is mr perkins isn’t

it

no he said it’s weaver oh mr weaver how

nice

i put a water bottle between the sheets

to air them out mr weaver

it’s such a comfort to have a hot water

bottle in a strange bed with clean

sheets

don’t you agree

and you may light the gas fire at any

time if you feel chilly

thank you billy said thank you ever so

much

he noticed that the bedspread had been

taken off the bed and that the bed

clothes had been neatly turned back on

one side all ready for someone to get in

i’m so glad you appeared she said

looking earnestly into his face

i was beginning to get worried

oh that’s all right billy answered

brightly you mustn’t worry about me

he put his suitcase on the chair and

started to open it

and what about supper my dear

did you manage to get anything to eat

before you came here

i’m not a bit hungry thank you he said i

think i’ll just go to bed as soon as

possible because tomorrow i’ve got to

get up rather early and report to the

office

very well then

i’ll leave you now so that you can

unpack

but before you go to bed would you be

kind enough to pop into the sitting room

on the ground floor and sign the book

everyone has to do that because it’s the

law of the land and we don’t want to go

breaking any laws at this stage in the

proceedings do we

she gave him a little wave of the hand

and then went quickly out of the room

and closed the door

now the fact that his landlady appeared

to be slightly off her rocker didn’t

worry billy in the least

after all she was not only harmless

there was no question about that but she

was also quite obviously a kind and

generous soul he guessed that she had

probably lost a son in the war or

something like that and had never got

over it

so a few minutes later after unpacking

his suitcase and washing his hands he

trotted downstairs to the ground floor

and entered the living room his landlady

wasn’t there but the fire was glowing in

the hearth and the little dash hound was

still sleeping in front of it

the room was wonderfully warm and cozy

i’m a lucky fellow he thought rubbing

his hands

this is a bit of all right

he found the guest book lying open on

the piano so he took out his pen and

wrote down his name and address

there were only two other entries above

his on the page and

as one always does with guest books he

started to read them

one was a christopher

mulholland from cardiff

the other was gregory w temple from

bristol that’s funny he thought suddenly

christopher mulholland

it rings a bell

now where on earth had he heard that

rather unusual name before

was he a boy at school

no

was it one of his sister’s numerous

young men perhaps or a friend of his

father’s

no

no it wasn’t any of those

he glanced down again at the book

christopher mulholland

231

cathedral road cardiff

gregory w temple

27 sycamore drive bristol

as a matter of fact

now he came to think of it he wasn’t at

all sure that the second name didn’t

have almost as much of a familiar ring

about it as the first

gregory temple he said aloud searching

his memory

christopher mulholland

uh such charming boys a voice behind him

answered and he turned and saw his

landlady sailing into the room with a

large silver tray in her hands

she was holding it well out in front of

her and rather high up as though the

tray were a pair of reins on a frisky

horse

they sound somehow familiar he said they

do

how interesting

i’m almost positive i’ve heard those

names before somewhere

isn’t that queer

maybe it was in the newspapers

they weren’t famous in any way were they

i mean famous cricketers or footballers

or something like that

famous she said

setting the tea tray down on the low

table in front of the sofa

oh no i don’t think they were famous but

they were

extraordinarily handsome

both of them i can promise you that they

were tall and young and handsome my dear

just exactly like you

once more billy glanced down at the book

look here he said noticing the dates

this last entry is over two years old

is it

yes indeed and christopher mull hollands

is nearly a year before that

more than three years ago

dear me she said

shaking her head and heaving a dainty

little sigh

i would never have thought it how time

does fly away from us all doesn’t it mr

wilkins

it’s weaver billy said w-e-a-v-e-r

oh of course it is she cried sitting

down on the sofa how silly of me i do

apologize in one ear and out the other

that’s me miss weaver

you know something billy said something

that’s really quite extraordinary about

all this

no dear i don’t

well you see both of these names

mulholland and temple

i not only seem to remember each of them

separately so to speak but somehow or

other

in some peculiar way

they both appear to be sort of connected

together as well

as though they were both famous for the

same sort of thing if you see what i

mean like

like dempsey and tony for example or

churchill and roosevelt

how amusing she said but come over here

now dear and sit down beside me on the

sofa and i’ll give you a nice cup of tea

and a ginger biscuit before you go to

bed

oh he really shouldn’t bother billy said

i didn’t mean you to do anything like

that

he stood by the piano watching her as

she fussed about with the cups and

saucers

he noticed that she had small white

quickly moving hands and red fingernails

i’m almost positive it was in the

newspapers i saw them billy said i’ll

think of it in a second i’m sure i will

there is nothing more tantalizing than a

thing like this which lingers just

outside the borders of one’s memory he

hated to give up

now wait a minute he said wait just a

minute

mulholland christopher mulholland wasn’t

that the name of the eaton school boy

who was on a walking tour through the

west country and then all of a sudden

milk she said and sugar

yes please and then all of a sudden

eaten schoolboy she said

oh no my dear that can’t possibly be

right because mr mulholland was

certainly not an eaton schoolboy when he

came to me he was a cambridge

undergraduate

come over here now and sit next to me

and warm yourself in front of this

lovely fire

come on your tea is all ready for you

she patted the empty place beside her on

the sofa and she sat there smiling at

billy and waiting for him to come over

he crossed the room slowly and sat down

on the edge of the sofa

she placed his teacup on the table in

front of him

there we are she said

how nice and cozy this is isn’t it

neither of them spoke

but billy knew that she was looking at

him her body was half turned towards him

and he could feel her eyes resting on

his face watching him over the rim of

her teacup

now and again he caught a whiff of a

peculiar smell that seemed to emanate

directly from her person

it was not in the least unpleasant and

it reminded him well

he wasn’t quite sure what it reminded

him of pickled walnuts new leather

or was it the corridors of a hospital

mr mulholland was a great one for his

tea she said at length

never in my life have i seen anyone

drink as much tea as dear sweet mr

mulholland

i suppose he left fairly recently billy

said he was still puzzling his head

about the two names he was positive now

that he had seen them in the newspapers

in the headlines

left she said arching her eyebrows but

my dear boy he never left he’s still

here mr temple is also here they’re on

the third floor both of them together

billy set down his cup slowly on the

table and stared at his landlady

she smiled back at him and then she put

out one of her white hands and patted

him comfortingly on the knee

how old are you my dear she asked

seventeen

17 she cried

oh it’s the perfect age

mr mulholland was also 17 but i think he

was a trifle shorter than you are in

fact i’m sure he was and his teeth

weren’t quite so white

you have the most beautiful teeth mr

weaver did you know that

they’re not as good as they look billy

said

they’ve got simply masses of fillings in

them at the back

mr temple of course was a little older

she said ignoring his remark

he was actually 28 and yet i never would

have guessed it if he hadn’t told me

never in my whole life

there wasn’t a blemish on his body

a what billy said his skin was just like

a baby’s

there was a pause

billy picked up his teacup and took

another sip of his tea then he set it

down again gently on its saucer he

waited for her to say something else but

she seemed to have lapsed into another

of her silences

he sat there

staring straight ahead of him into the

far corner of the room biting his lower

lip

that parrot he said at last you know

something it had me completely fooled

when i first saw it through the window

from the street i could have sworn it

was alive alas no longer it’s most

terribly clever the way it’s been done

he said it doesn’t look in the least bit

dead who did it i did

you did of course she said

and have you met my little basil as well

she nodded towards the dash hound curled

up so comfortably in front of the fire

billy looked at it and suddenly he

realized that this animal had all the

time been just as silent and motionless

as the parrot

he put out a hand and touched it gently

on the top of its back

the back was hard and cold

and when he pushed the hair to one side

with his fingers he could see the skin

underneath

grayish black and dry and perfectly

preserved

good gracious he said

how absolutely fascinating

he turned away from the dog and stared

with deep admiration that the little

woman beside him on the sofa

it must be most awfully difficult to do

a thing like that

not in the least she said i stuff all my

little pets myself when they pass away

will you have another cup of tea no

thank you billy said

the tea tasted faintly of bitter almonds

and he didn’t much care for it

you did sign the book didn’t you

oh yes

that’s good

because later on if i happen to forget

what you were called then i can always

come down here and look it up

i still do that almost every day with mr

mulholland and mr temple billy said

gregory temple excuse my asking but

haven’t there been any other guests here

except them in the last two or three

years

holding her teacup high in one hand

inclining her head slightly to the left

she looked up at him out of the corners

of her eyes and gave him another gentle

little smile

no my dear she said

only you

[Music]

you