How to STOP being shy 6 steps to be CONFIDENT

hello everyone and welcome back to

english with lucy today I am going to

talk to you about how you can stop being

shy and start speaking English

confidently my little brother and I were

reading comments on one of my videos the

other day and he pointed out one which

really made me feel sad someone said I

can’t speak English because I am a shy

person and I don’t know if it was the

wording of it but it really broke our

hearts the fact that somebody doesn’t

think they can learn a language because

they are a shy person made me feel

really really sad so I decided to make

this video to help motivate you all

especially you shy people I receive a

lot of messages about confidence people

saying oh I wish I was confident like

you but naturally in certain situations

I can feel so so shy and so so nervous

if you check out the last part of most

of my videos you can see all of the

times that I mix up my words and make

mistakes

it’s completely natural when I have to

speak publicly I often feel so so shy

but there are plenty of things that I do

and I have learnt to do over the past

few years since I started this channel

that have made me a confident person and

I want to share that with you

so let’s get started with the lesson the

first one this is a well-known tip but I

really believe in it fake it till you

make it and most importantly don’t tell

people that you feel shy almost a year

ago I was invited to speak about my

business at my old university I had to

give a 45 minute talk all about me and

my business to a room of so many

students and my parents were watching

and my boyfriend who is now my fiance I

was so nervous but I think I handled it

really really well I didn’t tell anyone

that I was feeling shy

it’s okay to be nervous but don’t say

you’re shy saying you’re nervous is okay

but saying you feel shy I think is quite

a negative thing to say

it might influence the way people think

about you I pretended that I was really

really confident and that I do this kind

of thing all the time when in reality it

was my first time speaking about myself

in front of such a large audience

I was scared of boring everyone I was

scared that the person organizing the

event was going to regret asking me to

speak I was scared of embarrassing

myself in front of my boyfriend

I was scared of disappointing my parents

but I walked in there

head held high I slightly lowered my

voice and I’m pretty convinced that no

one knew I was really really nervous it

was also being filmed and put on YouTube

I will leave the link in the description

box so that was an extra layer of

nervousness for me so what did they do I

pretended I was super confident I tried

to relax how I was standing I tried to

relax my voice I went outside beforehand

just to do some breathing and to relax

myself and it ended up going really

really well so how can this apply to you

not only are you nervous about speaking

to someone but it’s also not your native

language you need to pretend that you’re

confident you can try lowering your

voice slightly so instead of speaking up

here a nervous state you will speak in a

low voice and have it echo across the

room work on your posture feet apart

nice and tall shoulders relaxed really

show the other speaker that you’re

comfortable being there and as I said

before don’t tell anyone you’re shy

because sooner rather than later you

will start to feel more confident you

probably won’t even realize it

and then you might regret having told

someone that you’re a shy person it

doesn’t have to be that way you don’t

have to be shy the next tip I have for

you is listen and learn from other

confident speakers when I try out a new

hobby I often want to see how an expert

does it if you really want to learn how

to be more confident and how to speak

more confidently you need to listen to

experienced and confident speakers make

it part of your daily routine once

you’ve found somebody and pinpointed who

you want to sound like try and imitate

them a little bit make it your own but

take elements of their calm

evidence and elements of their speech

for example I really really like and

admire the way Stephen Fry speaks so I

make a point to listen to him speaking

frequently a great way that you can

implement listening to a confident

speaker for a little bit of time every

single day is by listening to audio

books I recommend audible you can click

the link in the description box to get a

free audiobook that’s a 30 day free

trial I really really recommend

listening to Stephen Fry narrating the

Harry Potter series or you could try

listening to books on public speaking or

books on eliminating and combating

shyness I’ve got some recommendations in

the description box as well tip number

three this is something that I’ve spoken

about before but I a hundred percent

recommended it is rehearse and prepare

your best stories and monologues and

things that you know you will have to

say time and time again make a habit of

talking to yourself and practising your

best stories and the answers to the most

frequent questions vary from what are

your hobbies what’s your job what would

you like to do in the future tell me

about yourself that’s such a big one and

it makes me feel nervous when someone

asks me that in my own language so I can

only imagine how hard it is for you

especially if you’re shy practice it

maybe even write it down at first and

then practice it until you know it off

by heart you don’t want to know it

word-for-word you just want to know that

when somebody asks you that question you

know what to say and you can say it with

confidence I also said practice your

favorite stories these are great ways to

fill gaps in conversation I’ve got a few

funny ones that I’ve told him videos

like mine waitressing mistakes or the

lovely story about my dad’s fairy book

links those are also in the description

box those are stories that I like to

tell at dinner parties and people like

being around good storytellers so it’s

really really important to learn how to

tell a good story and treat each time

you tell a story as practice gauge their

response did they react well to what you

said did they find it boring make the

necessary tweaks then after 20 times of

telling this story hopefully to

different people each time try not to

repeat yourself you will tell it

beautifully right my next tip is

practice asking questions learning how

to say questions correctly is so

important but also quite difficult in

English but it’s so important for shy

people because it means if you need a

break from speaking you can pass the

baton to the other person examples so

how did you get into your career path or

if you could do one thing differently

what would you do that opens up an

opportunity for the other person to tell

their story and to talk of it so you can

have time for a rest most people enjoy

talking about themselves and they also

appreciate good listeners and you can be

both of those by asking questions the

only thing you have to do is learn and

remember how to ask them correctly I

always have a couple of questions up my

sleeve so that if I’m feeling nervous or

shy I can quickly ask them on something

and we can continue the conversation

that way and there’s no pressure on me

number five is don’t take yourself too

seriously the best way to bond with

people is to laugh and especially to

laugh at yourself if I feel shy about

something sometimes I make a joke about

it I remember when I was learning

Spanish I was so embarrassed about

making mistakes but actually those

mistakes ended up being my funniest

stories in Spanish if you speak Spanish

and you want to hear about my funny or

at least I think they’re funny

Spanish mistake stories in such para

sorry that and I’ll leave the link in

the description box I laugh at myself

basically for a full 10 minutes embrace

making mistakes they are such a powerful

tool not only do you learn from them but

you can also create comedy from them if

you’re quite obviously uptight and

really embarrassed about your mistakes

it puts the other person or your

audience in a really awkward situation

you don’t want people cringing for you

you want people to feel comfortable that

they can laugh along with you keep a

note of all these funny mistakes that

you’ve made and then maybe one day you

can meet somebody else that’s shy when

you’re already fluent in English and you

can make them feel better and tell them

about your ridiculous experiences number

six

meet and talk to as many different

people as possible in your life you are

going to meet so many people that you

will never ever meet again so if you do

embarrass yourself in front of them if

the worst does happen it doesn’t matter

you might think about it again they

might think about it again but if you

don’t ever see them again

it doesn’t matter take the opportunity

to speak with strangers

to go out and meet people to talk to as

many different people as possible

confidence for shy people comes with

practice an example I never really made

my own friends before as an adult I

always just had friends from childhood

or friends I shared with my partner and

when I moved to this village I was new

my fiancee was new we didn’t know anyone

but I’ve really wanted to make friends I

felt really shy but we started going out

sometimes together sometimes apart and

making real efforts to talk to people if

we recognized someone we would say hello

I would sometimes pop to the coffee shop

on my own and talk to the people there

we’ll go to the pub and see the same

people over and over again

and get to know them very very slowly at

first it felt really awkward and I felt

really shy but now we just really enjoy

being able to go anywhere in our village

and know people had we allowed ourselves

to be naturally shy as we are that

wouldn’t have happened it was by

practicing speaking to as many different

people as possible that we felt

confident right that’s it for today’s

lesson I hope you enjoyed it and I

really hope you learnt something and I

really hope that you’re going to make

more effort to feel less shy or at least

seem less shy until you become less shy

don’t forget to check out audible you

can get your free audiobook and 30-day

free trial in the description box I’ve

also got all of the other links I’ve

mentioned and please do comment down

below with any other tips and

recommendations that have helped you

become less shy and don’t forget to

connect with me on all of my social

media I’ve got my facebook I’ve got my

Instagram and I’ve got my Twitter and I

shall see you soon for another lesson na

today I’m

to talk to you about our today I am

going to talk to you but how about Oh

happen again oh my god what you found

somebody that you want to speak to it is

what is it right my next tip is really

really important

fry fry people

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