Her lover The Invisible Love Learn English through story

her lover invisible love

by maxim gorky an acquaintance of mine

once told me the following story

when i was a student at moscow i

happened to live alongside one of those

ladies whose repute

is questionable she was a pole

and they called her teresa she was a

tallish

powerfully built brunette with black

bushy eyebrows

and a large coarse face as if carved out

by a hatchet

the beastial gleam of her dark eyes her

thick

base voice her cab man like gate

and her immense muscular vigor worthy of

a fish wife

inspired me with horror

i lived on the top flight and her

garrett was opposite to mine

i never left my door open when i knew

her to be at home

but this after all was a very rare

occurrence

sometimes i chanced to meet her on the

staircase or in the yard

and she would smile upon me with a smile

which seemed to me to be

sly and cynical occasionally

i saw her drunk with bleary eyes tousled

hair

and a particularly hideous grin

on such occasions she would speak to me

howdy mr student

and her stupid laugh would still further

intensify my loathing of her

i should have liked to have changed my

quarters in order to have avoided such

encounters and greetings

but my little chamber was a nice one and

it was such a wide view from the window

and it was always so quiet in the street

below

so i endured

and one morning i was sprawling on my

couch

trying to find some sort of excuse for

not attending my class

when the door opened and the base voice

of teresa the losem

resounded from my threshold good health

to you mr student

what do you want i said i saw that her

face was confused and supplicatory

it was a very unusual sort of face for

her

sir i want to beg a favor of you

will you grant it me i lay there silent

and thought to myself

gracious courage my boy

i want to send a letter home that’s what

it is

she said her voice was beseeching soft

timid deuce take you

i thought but up i jumped

sat down at my table took a sheet of

paper and said

come here sit down and dictate

she came sat down very gingerly on a

chair

and looked at me with a guilty look

well do whom do you want to write

to boleslav kashput

at the town of switzyana on the warsaw

road

well fire away

my dear bolas my darling

my faithful lover may the mother of god

protect thee thou heart of gold

why hast thou not written for such a

long time

to thy sorrowing little tough teresa

i very nearly burst out laughing

a sorrowing little dove more than

five feet high with fists a stone and

more in weight

and as black a face as if the little

dove had lived

all its life in a chimney and had never

once

washed itself restraining myself somehow

i asked who is this bolast

boles meets their student she said

as if offended with me for blundering

over the name

he is boles my young man

young man why

are you so surprised sir cannot i

a girl have a young man she

a girl well

oh why not i said

all things are possible and has he been

your

young man long six years

oh i thought well

let us write your letter and i tell you

plainly that i would willingly have

changed

places with this bolus if his fair

correspondent had been not theresa

but something less than she

i thank you most heartily sir for your

kind services

said teresa to me with a curtsy

perhaps i can show you

some service

no i most humbly thank you all the same

perhaps sir your shirts or your trousers

may want a little mending

i felt that this mastodon in petticoats

had made me grow quite red with shame

and i told her pretty sharply that i had

no need whatever

of her services she departed

a week or two passed away it was evening

i was sitting at my window whistling and

thinking of some expedient for enabling

me to get away from myself

i was bored the weather was dirty

i didn’t want to go out and out of sheer

ennui i began a course of self analysis

and reflection this also was dull enough

work

but i didn’t care about doing anything

else then

the door opened heaven be praised

someone came in oh mr

student you have no pressing business i

hope

it was teresa

no what is it i

was going to ask you sir to write me

another letter very well

to bola say no

this time it is from him

what stupid that i

am it is not for me mr student i

beg your pardon it is for a friend of

mine that is to say

not a friend but an acquaintance

a man acquaintance he has a sweetheart

just like me here teresa

that’s how it is will you sir write a

letter to

this teresa i looked at her

her face was troubled her fingers were

trembling

i was a bit fogged at first and then

i guessed how it was look here my

lady i said there are no boluses or

terraces at all

and you’ve been telling me a pack of

lies don’t you come sneaking about me

any longer i have no wish whatever to

cultivate your acquaintance

do you understand and suddenly

she grew strangely terrified and

distraught

she began to shift from foot to foot

without moving from the place

and spluttered comically as if she

wanted to say something and couldn’t

i waited to see what would come of all

this

and i saw and felt that apparently

i had made a great mistake in suspecting

her of wishing to draw me from the path

of righteousness

it was evidently something very

different

mr student she began

and suddenly waving her hand she turned

abruptly towards the door and went out

i remained with a very unpleasant

feeling in my mind

i listened her door was flung violently

too

plainly the poor wench was very angry i

thought it over

and resolved to go to her and inviting

her to come in here

write everything she wanted i entered

her apartment

i looked round she was sitting at the

table leaning on her elbows with her

head in her hands

listen to me i said now

whenever i come to this point in my

story i always feel horribly

awkward and idiotic well

well listen to me i said

she leaped from her seat came towards me

with flashing eyes

and laying her hands on my shoulders

began to whisper

or rather to hum in her peculiar base

voice

look you now it’s like this there’s no

ballast at all

and there’s no eraser either but what’s

that to you

is it a hard thing for you to draw your

pen over paper

huh ah and you

too still such a little fair-haired boy

there’s nobody at all neither bolas

nor teresa only me

there you have it in much good may it do

you

pardon me said i altogether

flabbergasted by such a reception

what is it all about there’s no bolus

you say

no so it is and

no teresa either and no teresa

i’m theresa i didn’t understand it at

all

i fixed my eyes upon her and tried to

make out which of us was taking leave of

his or her senses

but she went again to the table searched

about for something came back to me

and said in an offended tone

if it was so hard for you to write to

bolas

look there’s your letter take it

others will write for me i looked

in her hand was my letter to bolus

phew listen teresa

what is the meaning of all this why must

you get

others to write for you when i have

already written it and you haven’t sent

it

sent it where why to this

bolus there’s no such person

i absolutely did not understand it

there was nothing for me but to spit and

go

then she explained what

is it she said still offended

there’s no such person i tell you

and she extended her arms as if she

herself did not

understand why there should be no such

person

but i wanted him to be

am i then not a human creature like the

rest of them

yes yes i know i know of course

it no harm was done to anyone by my

writing to him that i can see

pardon me to whom to

bolles of course but

he doesn’t exist alas alas

but what if he doesn’t he doesn’t exist

but he might i write to him

and it looks as if he did exist and

teresa

that’s me and he replies to me

and then i write to him again

i understood at last

and i felt so sick so miserable so

ashamed somehow

alongside of me not three yards away

lived a human creature who had nobody in

the world

to treat her kindly affectionately

and this human being had invented a

friend for herself

look now you wrote me a letter to bolus

and i gave it to someone else to read it

to me

and when they read it to me i listened

and fancied that bolus was there

and i asked you to write me a letter

from bollis to teresa

that is to me when they write such a

letter for me

and read it to me i feel quite sure that

bolas is there

and life grows easier for me in

consequence

deuce take you for a blockhead

said i to myself when i heard this

and from thenceforth regularly twice

a week i wrote a letter to bolus

and an answer from bolas to teresa

i wrote those answers well she of course

listened to them and wept like anything

roared i should say with her base voice

and in return from i thus moving her to

tears by

real letters from the imaginary bolas

she began to mend the holes i had in my

socks shirts and other articles of

clothing

subsequently about three months after

this history began

they put her in prison for something or

other no doubt by this time

she is dead my acquaintance

shook the ash from his cigarette looked

pensively up at the sky

and thus concluded

well well the more a human creature has

tasted of bitter things

the more it hungers after the sweet

things of life

and we wrapped round in the rags of our

virtues

and regarding others through the midst

of our self-sufficiency

and persuaded of our universal

impeccability

do not understand this and the whole

thing

turns out pretty stupidly and very

cruelly

the fallen classes we say and who are

the fallen

classes i should like to know they are

first of all

people with the same bones flesh and

blood and nerves as ourselves

we have been told this day after day for

ages and we actually listen

and the devil only knows how hideous the

whole thing is

or are we completely depraved by the

loud

sermonizing of humanism in reality

we also our fallen folks and so far as i

can see

very deeply fallen into the abyss of

self-sufficiency

and the conviction of our own

superiority

but enough of this it is all as old as

the hills

so old that it is a shame to speak of it

very old indeed yes

that’s what it is

you