Becoming an Eagle How to Achieve Success

i was a junior

attending norris brown college when i

heard my first motivational speaker

my business professor invited him to

come speak to the class

to talk about what it means to be

successful

after a brief introduction he rolls from

his chair

appearing larger than life with a

glowing smile and

confident presence as he walked toward

the class

he paused as if in deep reflection

he asked us has anybody ever heard of

the

chicken and eagle story we all ship our

heads puzzled

he began this rooting tale saying

long ago in a land far away an

eagle egg fell from the nest

a mother hen who was wandering away from

her farm

stumbled across the lost eagle egg when

she brought the egg back to the farm

the other hens shook in horror they said

this is an eagle egg if this evil

hatches and knows he’s an eagle

he’ll rule over us the motherhood stood

firm

so collectively they decided in order to

ensure their safety

they would make this eagle believe he

was a chicken

when the evil egg hatched the hens

nurtured this

eagle they taught him how to have

chicken aspirations

chicken behaviors and chicken thoughts

when the eagle would struggle to adapt

the hymns would reassure

this young eagle that if he worked

really hard he would become a chicken

just like them as a result

he would hide his beak and hide his

feathers

he would practice walking like a chicken

talking like a chicken

eventually he was able to even have

chicken thoughts

as he grew he became proud of who he was

because in his mind

he truly believed that he was indeed a

chicken

then one day in the clear blue sky he

sees this

large beautiful bird

and he says to himself this is the one

shot i have to prove that i

am a chicken the large bird sees this

young eagle

and he comes down to the farm and says

hey

what are you doing the young eagle

replies

what do you mean what am i doing can’t

you see

i’m a chicken

the large boy replies you’re not a

chicken

your wings weren’t meant to fold and you

weren’t meant to cower

you’re meant to be in the sky you were

meant to sit on

huge beautiful mountain tops

son you’re not a chicken you’re an

eagle just like me

the guest lecturer concluded with

many of you have been taught your whole

life

to live like other chickens exist with

other chickens

to think like other chickens many of you

have been raised by chickens

topped about chickens you may even have

some chicken friends

but i’m here today to tell you that’s

not who you are

you are an illegal

the whole class erupted in applause

not everyone

don’t get me wrong i thought the ankle

story was beautiful

because when i heard it i immediately

started to think about

the chicken classmates that bullied me

in school

it made me remember the chicken

neighbors that

told me my dreams were way too big

then i started to recall the chicken

relatives that

told me when i was young i wouldn’t

amount to anything

but i wasn’t buying this chicken and

eagle story

so i raised my hand and i said sir

i’m originally from south central los

angeles

and what that means is you’re a witness

to war on the streets

young men lose their lives to gun

violence

and even innocent bystanders get killed

from being at the wrong place at the

wrong time

helicopters that shine down on your

house

drive-bys neighborhoods surrounded with

yellow caution tape with covered body

bags

that’s my normal people reduce

themselves to a life of crime because

they feel like

they don’t have any options

you have families with generations

of dysfunctional drug and alcohol abuse

after a while the pain fear and grief

you become numb to it

i’m the first in my family to leave for

college and if i succeed

i’ll be the first in my family to

graduate i appreciate

the words of encouragement but since

i’ve been here

i’ve had no idea how to escape my past

let alone believe

i can fly he listened to me closely

and as he smiled and gave me advice that

would stay with me for the rest of my

life

he said you are not

your mother or your father’s choices

the essence of who you are is not where

you come from

you’ve been given an opportunity at this

place at this time

to make whatever you want to make out of

your life

how you do that is entirely up to you

but your story is not a continuation

of their story you

can break this cycle would be my first

lesson

let go of your past change your mindset

but how do you change a mindset how do

you

get past and adjust years of trauma

fear doubt all you knew to be true

you must first recognize you need to

change

how you see yourself realizing the one

person that you were in the past does

not require

the person that you have to be

this makes you more self-aware when you

realize

why you need to change the good that

will happen when you change

and the impact it’ll have on your life

you start to make the moves to want to

move forward

it becomes easier when you’re living

mirror and you visualize the future you

the new you that you want to become

you start to see yourself as an eagle

and that makes it a lot easier

to get off that farm

leaving south central los angeles to

atlanta georgia i was labeled a first

generation college student

it would be years before i understood

how condemning that word and a

description is

first generation college students are

the first to

drop out of college and are the least

likely to graduate

studies have shown factors such as

socioeconomic hardship

academic challenges struggles to adopt a

college culture

financial hardships some studies have

even said survivors remorse is the

reason why

first generation college students don’t

graduate

through support of faculty family and

friends

i was able to successfully graduate from

morris brown college

i will then move on to pursue a career

in higher education i believe that

education was a great equalizer

and that it allowed people to change

their lives by achieving their

educational goals

and i desperately wanted to be a part of

that journey

years later i would become a doctoral

student

and as a researcher i wanted to study

the underdog

african-american males are the lowest

demographic to graduate from college

i wanted to know why is that how did

this particular group get left behind

my research showed that african-american

males were not getting the proper

support they needed to be successful

on campus be a lack of faculty mentoring

poor academic advisement improper career

development

here you had a group of men that were

eagles and they were ready to soar the

problem was

many higher education professionals felt

it wasn’t their responsibility

to teach them how to fly there was a

misconception that if they were

truly eagles they should already know

how to fly

or quickly adapt like the other eagles

by not addressing or even acknowledging

the systemic barriers that these men

faced

in elementary school middle school and

high school

universities in college failed to

support

and provide a nurturing environment that

this group so desperately needed

this would teach me my second lesson

if you don’t know how to fly gather a

team

that will teach you how to do it

when you’ve identified the person you

want to become but have no idea how to

get there

you have to be vulnerable and humble

enough to ask for help

ask yourself who can offer me insight to

help me achieve my goals

when you ask for help this opens doors

and provides assistance

allowing you to achieve your goals much

faster going at it alone

means that you’re gonna have to

experience several trial and error

setbacks which will take you longer to

achieve success

you also want to constantly evaluate

your circle

who are you allowing to speak to you

what are they speaking to you

are they supportive of your goals or are

they negative

growing up amongst chickens even eagles

have a hard time detaching themselves

from the farm

in order to achieve success you have to

understand

the people you surround yourself with

will influence how you see yourself

the team that you create will either

help you achieve your dreams

or deter you from even having them

[Music]

my third lesson comes from a more

personal experience

my husband and i have been together over

22 years

now i’m not going to say that our

marriage is perfect because it is

deeply flawed with mistakes and heart

lessons that we had to endure

to become the loving and supportive

partners that we are today

we did what we thought society showed us

we should do

we got an education then we got married

we bought the beautiful house had a nice

picket fence in the back

even put a cute dog in we had a life

that

many would admire so it was a surprise

to anyone we announced

we were starting to plan to have a

family

when i got pregnant i was so

excited i was nervous

but i was excited every day at lunch i

would

go off and buy little baby clothes and

when i would come home i would

doodle possible names i would visualize

the baby with his eyes and my teeth

at four and a half months pregnant i

experienced extreme cramps

panicked my husband called 9-1-1 for me

to be rushed to the hospital

when i got to the hospital the doctor

put a sonogram reader on my stomach

and he couldn’t detect a heartbeat he

assured us that everything was fine

he said the machine was faulty and that

they were experiencing some problems

so we should wait in the room with the

nurse and when the new machine was ready

he would bring the machine back and

check on us

as my husband and i went in the room

for several hours i would continue to

experience extreme cramps

the nurse refused to let me leave the

bed so when she went to refill my water

jug

i took that as an opportunity to go use

the restroom

[Music]

what i didn’t know at the time is that i

was in labor

when i went to the restroom i delivered

our baby

i called out to my husband and he came

running

and he wrapped his arms around me and he

said close your eyes

he screamed for the doctors to come and

help us

as my husband held our baby’s lifeless

body

in his arms all i could do was just

stand there and cry

[Music]

on that evening we lost our son

i was hurt

i was angry

i was

experiencing grief

out of that grief would come fear

what if i can’t have any more kids

the doctors ran several tests and all of

them came back inconclusive

the doctors advised us to start right

away and try again but

i wasn’t ready to experience that level

of grief

i couldn’t imagine

caring to experience that type of loss

what i told my husband he took me by the

hand and he

sat me down and he said babe

it’s time we have a hard conversation

we now know that you being pregnant

may experience some challenges we also

know

that you may even miscarry

so i’m going to ask you the question

that’s going to set the course for the

rest of our lives

how many miscarriages are you willing to

endure

to get the life you won

i was so angry how how many

but then i thought to myself

how how many

i wanted kids we both wanted kids

but that idea meant we were going to

incur losses

so the next day i came to him and i said

i will endure 100

miscarriages if it means we have

one child he gave me a big hug and said

100 it is

three high-risk pregnancies and three

beautiful girls later

my husband taught me my third lesson

success comes from failure

[Music]

as a new eagle when you first fly you

will fall and you will fail you will

fail because you have

made the decision to go on uncharted

territory that you’ve never known

your conditions will change the

challenges that you face

will cause delays

you don’t know how to fly so you’re

flying a little crazy you’re gonna go

circular you’re gonna go

sideways you’re gonna go backwards up

and down

you’re gonna doubt yourself wonder did

you make the right decision to leave the

farm

when you’re up in that sky you’ll have

nobody to turn to

your wings will feel unfamiliar making

this whole experience very uncomfortable

you’ll want to quit because the

destination terrifies you

but i’m here today to tell you to fly

anyway

because you are an eagle

[Music]

and it’s time we recognize that you have

to

let go of your past and change your

mindset

it’s time to recognize that when it gets

hard you have to ask

for help it’s time to surround yourself

with other eagles it’s time to recognize

it’s not about

when you fail or what happens

if you choose to fail and how you get up

again

we don’t need a blueprint to achieve

success

we just need to recognize we need to go

out on a journey of self-discovery

and be willing to learn how to fly

i look forward to seeing all of you in

the sky

thank you