Alcoholism The deadly truth about its stigma

my dad

was the kindest most caring man i’ve

ever had the pleasure of knowing

he was a very sensitive man who would

tear up easily

i would always catch him secretly wiping

away a tear whenever he got emotional

he was a funny yorkshire man with the

quirkiest sense of humor

and above all of this i knew more than

anything

that the love he had for his family was

unmeasurable

now you’re probably wondering why am i

telling you this

why do we need to know your dad’s

personality for your tedx talk

but it’s so important that i tell you to

make my point the best i can

then you need to have a clear insight

into the man i called my dad

and a man people called steve because

quite often when i tell people that he

was an alcoholic

they have a very preconceived and

distorted vision

of how he may have come across

now before i go any further i would like

to ask you a question

and i want you to really think about

this and be absolutely unapologetically

honest with yourself

have you ever stereotyped an alcoholic

and by stereotype i mean have you ever

fought yourself

or allowed that alcoholics are weak

over-indulgent and a burden to the

health system

because if you find yourself nodding to

those

statements then i would like to say this

to you

perhaps alcoholism didn’t kill my dad

and maybe you did maybe i did

now go with me on this because i’m aware

of how bold that statement was

but the stigma and lack of awareness

around a very serious disease

ultimately caused my dad’s death

he was afraid to seek early intervention

and support

because in his own words he was ashamed

now there are three facts associated

with alcohol

and alcohol addiction that i must share

with you and i have broken them down

into three categories

danger dependence and disease

professor david nutts a world-renowned

professor of neuro psychopharma

neuropsychopharmacology

categorizes alcohol as the most

dangerous drug in the uk

beating crack and heroin because of the

harm it causes the user

but the repercussions it also has on

society

alcohol is one of a few substances

where withdrawal alone can directly kill

you

so to put it bluntly if you are

physically dependent on alcohol

and abruptly stop drinking then you’re

at significant risk of death

alcohol addiction is widely recognized

within the medical

industry as a disease a chronic

relapsing brain disorder

characterized by an impaired ability to

stop or control

alcohol use

now i’m not talking to you today from an

academic perspective

i’m not an expert within this area but

i’m coming from a lived

experience point of view i have

witnessed the stigma portrayed towards

an alcoholic

i’ve seen it i’ve felt it i’ve heard it

and i’ve been part of it but i was

wrong we were all wrong and i know that

now

so i stand here today to share with you

what i have learnt about alcohol

addiction

and hope that in doing so we can

contribute towards shifting society’s

mindset

so that we can empower alcoholics to

recovery

rather than shaming them into silence

and anonymity

my dad told me that he drank to forget

he drank to numb the overwhelming

anxiety

depression and ptsd he drank because his

generation

and many other generations taught him

that it was a weakness to discuss your

mental health

so he drowned out the noise with the

euphoric effects of alcohol instead

i hated him at times i was angry

i was bitter and i even went as far as

thinking that he was a weak and selfish

man who had no self-control

growing up my dad’s addiction was to be

unspoken of

don’t tell anyone don’t let anyone know

he drinks heavily

we didn’t even admit it to ourselves

looking back we were feeding the stigma

by staying quiet and not being his

advocate

we allowed him to get sucked into the

shame and humiliation that society

currently projects towards alcoholics

on the 31st of august 2017

he died as a result of excessive

drinking

shame and humiliation prevented my dad

from accessing supports

stigma was partly to blame for his death

now society often shifts culpability and

blames the alcoholic for their lack of

willpower

and this was evident in my dad’s case

following his death i was reminded that

he did it to himself

he only had himself to blame and it was

self-inflicted

now if we’re being technical then yes

perhaps it was self-inflicted

but does that same logic not apply to

other self-inflicted illnesses

because 90 of lung cancers

are caused by smoking a massive

contributing factor to developing type 2

diabetes

is diet and inactiveness

some of the most common illnesses

brought on by our lifestyle choices

are high cholesterol and high blood

pressure

if you suffered from one of those

illnesses

would you feel ashamed to seek medical

treatment

alcohol is a socially accepted easily

accessible

and legal substance and is part of most

people’s diets

yet we continue to shame those

who become addicted to its euphoric side

effects

as over-indulgent and weak we

shame them into remaining silent and

anonymous to protect their reputation

professor david nuts very powerfully

states

it’s not your fault you want to drink

alcohol

is a very powerful and addictive drug

that’s not only legal but enmeshed in

our everyday lives

you see my dad didn’t abuse alcohol

alcohol abused him and he was powerless

to do anything about it without clinical

professional help

it’s not as simple as having willpower

to just come off it

once you become physically dependent on

alcohol

it has gotten a hold of you and in order

to survive

you have no choice but to carry on

drinking until you access clinical

support

which means for the majority of

alcoholics

accessing that support is harder than

coping with the disease itself

let me put that into perspective for you

two weeks before my dad died i pleaded

with him to get help

but he wouldn’t he told me that it was

self-inflicted

that it was a weakness and that he

didn’t want to waste his doctor’s time

sadly it would seem that he is not alone

in that thought process

it is estimated that there are 1.6

million people

in the uk physically dependent on

alcohol

and less than a quarter of them are

seeking support

many alcoholics claim that stigma and

shame prevent them from recovering

now i am by no means suggesting that

society is responsible for the

alcoholism crisis upon us

i am perfectly aware that we can only

help so much

and that it is the sole responsibility

of an alcoholic to commit to recovery

but we can help in other ways for

starters

we can liberate them from the stigma by

showing genuine and sincere supports

we can empower them to seek treatment

and give them the encouragement to

recover

openly and freely without judgment

or stereotype the more shame we place

upon an alcoholic

will only feed their disease and the

vicious cycle will continue

if we are to move forward positively

then we need to change the way we view

alcoholism

so i come to you today as a daughter

a daughter of an alcoholic who had a

name

he was called steve

and he had a family who loved him

unconditionally

but he was failed significantly by

society’s cruel stereotype against him

if you take anything away from my talk

today

i hope that it’s empathy compassion

and an understanding that alcoholics are

not self-indulgent and weak

but they are fighting a daily battle to

survive

a deadly and often terminal disease

perhaps if collectively we can show more

encouragement and

understanding than those 1.6 million

dependent drinkers in the uk

may feel empowered to stay on track to a

wonderful life of sobriety

you