The Art of Talking
all right
so as a citizen of the silicon valley
specifically san jose
it can safely be concluded that we are
extremely academically focused
most students at schools in the bay are
constantly worrying about their gpa
their class rank
the number of ap classes they take what
extracurricular activities they do
etc in some cases
students are too focused on academics
and the reason behind this is because
the community pressures students to be
academically elite
now there isn’t really anything bad
about that having a strong academic
background
is an extraordinary thing and a very
vital aspect in the intellectual growth
of students however
it does come with its drawbacks this
pure focus on academics limits the
growth of students
in other aspects of life the main one
being negligent
to the importance of talking the
importance of speaking up
the importance of standing up for one
another
i realized this issue during the lunch
in 10th grade
time traveled back two years me and my
friends were sitting on a bench eating
our lunch
talking about our clash of clans bases
judging each other on what town hall
level we were
i mean it was a pretty big thing for us
at least for me it was the only thing i
was
half decent at amidst the discussion we
turn
to our right and we see a hoard of
students literally the whole
main quad take out their phones and rush
over to the right side of the school
and it really took me and my friends by
surprise we had never seen that before
what could be so important that everyone
stops eating their food
everyone stops talking to each other and
takes out their phones and trample each
other to get to one location
i’m not gonna lie my first instinct was
that stephen curry and elon musk both
had walked
on to campus at the same time i got a
little too excited
as they’re my biggest role models
intrigued by this horde i slowly made my
way over to the same spot as everyone
else hesitant as to what to expect
as i approached the scene however i saw
a literal fight
165 huge football dude swinging at
another football dude in a physical and
pretty verbal confrontation now i don’t
know if this is unfortunately or
unfortunately but i wasn’t really
surprised by the fight
by the fight scene i was more surprised
by the scene around it
there was a gathering of about half the
school
everyone with phones in their hands and
everyone chanting for the person they
wanted to
win i was genuinely expecting someone to
walk in
someone to stop this fight but no one
really did
it was the school staff that had to
hurry over and
break up the fight i was amazed not in a
good way
or a bad way rather in a sense that i
had absolutely
no idea what just happened i was amazed
at the lack of respect
that the crowd had i was amazed at the
fact that no one stopped the fight
now i am also a victim of the same
situation a situation where i should
have said something but i didn’t
a few years ago while picking up my
long-awaited treasure
six-piece chicken mcnugget like nuggets
from mcdonald’s for dinner as
any 10 year old would be very excited
for
i was a victim of a pure xenophobic
attack while ordering a woman angrily
taps me on my shoulder
i was startled so i turn around and this
is all i hear go back to your country
we don’t want you here you hear that you
you’re completely useless
this had completely caught me by
surprise never had i had someone talk to
me in that way
ever i adjusted the glassy eyed staring
at the woman as she kept yelling at me
your type ruins everything for us
blah blah blah i just kept staring at
her as if i was in some sort of trance
as if she had cast a spell on me i
wanted to talk back i wanted to respond
but i didn’t i just let her ramble let
her take advantage of my silence let her
use my silence as my leverage
as for her xenophobic remarks it wasn’t
the first time this lady had done
something similar
in fact the next situation was with my
mom
this day i had gone shopping with my mom
to whole foods
it took us a while as all grocery trips
do which is
why i don’t want to go grocery shopping
a lot of time somehow from somewhere
the same lady comes up to us and starts
targeting my mom
making the same baseless remarks from
before
i witnessed my mom’s face flush color in
front of me i witnessed her being
emotionally torn apart i witnessed her
trying to respond this angered me
as her son i wanted to talk back i
wanted to stop this
lady from breaking down my mom further
but i didn’t
i just listened and i didn’t say a word
and this still infuriates me to this day
had i said something this lady may have
realized that
everyone is not as easy to pick on and
that everyone does not tolerate her
behavior
it may have saved another mother father
son
sister brother etc from such remarks
unbeknownst to me she could and probably
did attack others in the same way
but the real question is why why didn’t
i speak up
why didn’t the people surrounding the
scene speak up why didn’t the students
witnessing the fights
do anything to stop it i would like to
introduce you all to
a monster both my best friend and my
worst enemy
now this monster lives inside each of us
gnawing at our urge to speak up in
certain times it limits our voice
and is it that is its only job to limit
our voice
i would like to name the sponsor
introversy
no matter how much of an extrovert you
may be introversy will always be inside
is the same monster that grabs onto your
voice even for a split second
when you see someone do something
outside the social norm
this is also known as hesitation it’s
the same monster that motivates us to
throw away from a certain situation
as we do not want to get more mangled in
it this is also known as avoidance
i’m sure everyone including people who
are extremely outspoken
have had moments where they realized
maybe even after a few days
that oh i should have said something
and the reason behind this realization
is introversy
introversy becomes more and more
powerful with such scenarios
when this power surpasses a certain
threshold it takes over our body
then even when we have the drive to stop
certain situation
the motivation to stop the next person
from getting berated
we don’t this is exactly what had
happened to me during the whole foods
incident
introversity became more powerful than
my will to talk
so what can we do to get rid of
introversity
the truth is it is not completely
possible to get rid of it
introversy will stay no matter what the
magnitude of steps one takes to suppress
it
the best we could do however is to
lessen its power
lessen its grip on our voice the first
step to this
is recognizing the effect that
introversy has on us
and recognizing that it truly exists and
motivating yourself
to find your voice finding this sense of
motivation
is over half the battle the next step is
pretty basic
and is taught in almost all self-care
self-care classes that exist
the art of journaling spend five to ten
minutes every day
before bed writing your thoughts down in
a journal
what morals do you live by how do you
express these morals
how did you express these morals what do
i think about
x situation what did i not do today that
i could do better tomorrow
answering these questions every day will
expose a side of you that you never knew
you had
in a good way this will not only make
you more confident
but also more willing to go out and
start talking
the third and perhaps most important
step is a change in mindset
this is perhaps one of the hardest
changes one could bring in their life
now i like to think of a mindset as a
lens it’s a portal to which you view the
world
there are various types of mindsets
however the most significant ones in
this situation
are the growth fixed versus growth
mindset if one has a fixed mindset they
are scared
of challenges they are not willing to
make change in their lives
they are not willing to put an effort
they are not willing to find their voice
these ideals are on the complete
contrary to what is necessary to
suppress
introversy we all need to have a growth
mindset
we should be open to change and embrace
the challenges we may face
we should be willing to put in the
required effort we should be motivated
to build new abilities
that will not only positively affect
yourself but help others around you
the fourth step is applying this in the
real world
remember the whole fight situation i
introduced if something similar happens
again and you’re in the crowd
you step out of your comfort zone and
express your voice
remember the mcdonald’s and whole food
situation you peacefully respond
now personally one recent resource that
i use to streamline this whole process
is project bold
where i utilize the advantages of a
specialized curriculum that addresses
this exact issue
the suppression of introversy i
connected to
thousands of students across the world
that are pursuing their voice
and you all can do the same so let’s get
through this process together
and let’s all find our voices and create
a meaningful change on the community we
all love
let’s be introversy let’s beat
hesitation
let’s be avoidance and finally let’s
project our voices
thank you