The Art of Talking

all right

so as a citizen of the silicon valley

specifically san jose

it can safely be concluded that we are

extremely academically focused

most students at schools in the bay are

constantly worrying about their gpa

their class rank

the number of ap classes they take what

extracurricular activities they do

etc in some cases

students are too focused on academics

and the reason behind this is because

the community pressures students to be

academically elite

now there isn’t really anything bad

about that having a strong academic

background

is an extraordinary thing and a very

vital aspect in the intellectual growth

of students however

it does come with its drawbacks this

pure focus on academics limits the

growth of students

in other aspects of life the main one

being negligent

to the importance of talking the

importance of speaking up

the importance of standing up for one

another

i realized this issue during the lunch

in 10th grade

time traveled back two years me and my

friends were sitting on a bench eating

our lunch

talking about our clash of clans bases

judging each other on what town hall

level we were

i mean it was a pretty big thing for us

at least for me it was the only thing i

was

half decent at amidst the discussion we

turn

to our right and we see a hoard of

students literally the whole

main quad take out their phones and rush

over to the right side of the school

and it really took me and my friends by

surprise we had never seen that before

what could be so important that everyone

stops eating their food

everyone stops talking to each other and

takes out their phones and trample each

other to get to one location

i’m not gonna lie my first instinct was

that stephen curry and elon musk both

had walked

on to campus at the same time i got a

little too excited

as they’re my biggest role models

intrigued by this horde i slowly made my

way over to the same spot as everyone

else hesitant as to what to expect

as i approached the scene however i saw

a literal fight

165 huge football dude swinging at

another football dude in a physical and

pretty verbal confrontation now i don’t

know if this is unfortunately or

unfortunately but i wasn’t really

surprised by the fight

by the fight scene i was more surprised

by the scene around it

there was a gathering of about half the

school

everyone with phones in their hands and

everyone chanting for the person they

wanted to

win i was genuinely expecting someone to

walk in

someone to stop this fight but no one

really did

it was the school staff that had to

hurry over and

break up the fight i was amazed not in a

good way

or a bad way rather in a sense that i

had absolutely

no idea what just happened i was amazed

at the lack of respect

that the crowd had i was amazed at the

fact that no one stopped the fight

now i am also a victim of the same

situation a situation where i should

have said something but i didn’t

a few years ago while picking up my

long-awaited treasure

six-piece chicken mcnugget like nuggets

from mcdonald’s for dinner as

any 10 year old would be very excited

for

i was a victim of a pure xenophobic

attack while ordering a woman angrily

taps me on my shoulder

i was startled so i turn around and this

is all i hear go back to your country

we don’t want you here you hear that you

you’re completely useless

this had completely caught me by

surprise never had i had someone talk to

me in that way

ever i adjusted the glassy eyed staring

at the woman as she kept yelling at me

your type ruins everything for us

blah blah blah i just kept staring at

her as if i was in some sort of trance

as if she had cast a spell on me i

wanted to talk back i wanted to respond

but i didn’t i just let her ramble let

her take advantage of my silence let her

use my silence as my leverage

as for her xenophobic remarks it wasn’t

the first time this lady had done

something similar

in fact the next situation was with my

mom

this day i had gone shopping with my mom

to whole foods

it took us a while as all grocery trips

do which is

why i don’t want to go grocery shopping

a lot of time somehow from somewhere

the same lady comes up to us and starts

targeting my mom

making the same baseless remarks from

before

i witnessed my mom’s face flush color in

front of me i witnessed her being

emotionally torn apart i witnessed her

trying to respond this angered me

as her son i wanted to talk back i

wanted to stop this

lady from breaking down my mom further

but i didn’t

i just listened and i didn’t say a word

and this still infuriates me to this day

had i said something this lady may have

realized that

everyone is not as easy to pick on and

that everyone does not tolerate her

behavior

it may have saved another mother father

son

sister brother etc from such remarks

unbeknownst to me she could and probably

did attack others in the same way

but the real question is why why didn’t

i speak up

why didn’t the people surrounding the

scene speak up why didn’t the students

witnessing the fights

do anything to stop it i would like to

introduce you all to

a monster both my best friend and my

worst enemy

now this monster lives inside each of us

gnawing at our urge to speak up in

certain times it limits our voice

and is it that is its only job to limit

our voice

i would like to name the sponsor

introversy

no matter how much of an extrovert you

may be introversy will always be inside

is the same monster that grabs onto your

voice even for a split second

when you see someone do something

outside the social norm

this is also known as hesitation it’s

the same monster that motivates us to

throw away from a certain situation

as we do not want to get more mangled in

it this is also known as avoidance

i’m sure everyone including people who

are extremely outspoken

have had moments where they realized

maybe even after a few days

that oh i should have said something

and the reason behind this realization

is introversy

introversy becomes more and more

powerful with such scenarios

when this power surpasses a certain

threshold it takes over our body

then even when we have the drive to stop

certain situation

the motivation to stop the next person

from getting berated

we don’t this is exactly what had

happened to me during the whole foods

incident

introversity became more powerful than

my will to talk

so what can we do to get rid of

introversity

the truth is it is not completely

possible to get rid of it

introversy will stay no matter what the

magnitude of steps one takes to suppress

it

the best we could do however is to

lessen its power

lessen its grip on our voice the first

step to this

is recognizing the effect that

introversy has on us

and recognizing that it truly exists and

motivating yourself

to find your voice finding this sense of

motivation

is over half the battle the next step is

pretty basic

and is taught in almost all self-care

self-care classes that exist

the art of journaling spend five to ten

minutes every day

before bed writing your thoughts down in

a journal

what morals do you live by how do you

express these morals

how did you express these morals what do

i think about

x situation what did i not do today that

i could do better tomorrow

answering these questions every day will

expose a side of you that you never knew

you had

in a good way this will not only make

you more confident

but also more willing to go out and

start talking

the third and perhaps most important

step is a change in mindset

this is perhaps one of the hardest

changes one could bring in their life

now i like to think of a mindset as a

lens it’s a portal to which you view the

world

there are various types of mindsets

however the most significant ones in

this situation

are the growth fixed versus growth

mindset if one has a fixed mindset they

are scared

of challenges they are not willing to

make change in their lives

they are not willing to put an effort

they are not willing to find their voice

these ideals are on the complete

contrary to what is necessary to

suppress

introversy we all need to have a growth

mindset

we should be open to change and embrace

the challenges we may face

we should be willing to put in the

required effort we should be motivated

to build new abilities

that will not only positively affect

yourself but help others around you

the fourth step is applying this in the

real world

remember the whole fight situation i

introduced if something similar happens

again and you’re in the crowd

you step out of your comfort zone and

express your voice

remember the mcdonald’s and whole food

situation you peacefully respond

now personally one recent resource that

i use to streamline this whole process

is project bold

where i utilize the advantages of a

specialized curriculum that addresses

this exact issue

the suppression of introversy i

connected to

thousands of students across the world

that are pursuing their voice

and you all can do the same so let’s get

through this process together

and let’s all find our voices and create

a meaningful change on the community we

all love

let’s be introversy let’s beat

hesitation

let’s be avoidance and finally let’s

project our voices

thank you