You dont need two hands to clap back

hello everyone my name is anushka and i

want to thank all of you

and tedx for inviting me and having me

on this platform

and allowing me to share my story with

you i want to start with a recent

incident that happened

with me i was moving into my new

apartment in bombay in december

and i was getting out of the cab and i

had you know big suitcases

and so the security guard of the

building saw me you know struggle

because i was you know evidently

struggling with like three bags

and he nicely offered to help me come

and take my bag

upstairs to my apartment building and so

he takes my bags he goes to the building

elevator

and while we’re in the elevator he’s

asking me general questions about where

i’m from

whether i’ve just moved in and so on

and then there’s a moment of silence

after that moment of silence

he goes

translation to english i feel very sorry

for you

your life is ruined in this context

he was evidently referring to me having

only one arm

which in turn meant that i didn’t have a

life

some of you watching this might be

wondering oh my god how can someone say

that

you’d be surprised but i get that a lot

and all the time

to set some context cut to nine years

ago

i am on a school trip with my friends

from boarding school

it’s march 2012 i am 15 years old

and as part of this school trip we’re in

gujarat

now because we were traveling in a large

group

you know if you’re traveling a large

group with 50 girls you’re using

air-conditioned buses

so we were in the u and we were wrapping

up on the beach to

you know get a head start to go to the

next city that we were supposed to be at

and the you is actually the only place

in gujarat where

you can get alcohol without a permit so

we’re getting ready to go to the bus and

turns out

our bus driver had indulged

in a couple of drinks and soon after

that he got behind the wheel to drive us

to where we were going

the next thing i remember is the bus

losing its balance

hitting a divider flipping to the right

and then skidding a few feet and

everyone around me went in panic mode

i remember people running out screaming

and

frantically all my friends were all

frantically running out of the bus

and one of my friends kind of saw me

because i was just fallen flat to the

i’d fallen flat to the right

and uh she saw me and she went anushka

we got to go

you know let’s go and i’m telling her

yeah i’m coming

and my head is so dizzy and i

thought that it was because i’d hit my

face to the glass on the side

and you know because i was bleeding from

that side so i thought maybe that’s why

my head is dizzy

and i was frantically trying to maneuver

myself but i couldn’t get myself

up and then my friend came back and she

said come on we have to go

and i tried to get myself up and

obviously

by that time i realized that my arm was

nothing but flesh and bone

and there was a pool of blood to my

right which was all mine

by this time my teachers and my friends

have also realized

that i’m severely injured and the u is a

very small town

so there’s a tiny hospital about

you know 10 12 kilometers away from

where we were

and despite the fact that it was a small

town somewhere and somehow that day

there was a van full of army people and

a van full of doctors

because there was a parade taking place

in that city

those army people helped get a crane

and put the bus up so they straightened

the bus up

and i remember this uh man

you know come up to me and you know he’s

telling me shut your eyes because when

they were straightening the bus up

you know they obviously didn’t want the

remainder of the glass to kind of

go into my eyes i was rushed to the

nearest hospital

and by then i’d lost 60 of my blood

one of these army individuals had also

donated blood to me that night

safe to say that he’s one of the many

reasons that i am alive

and sitting here giving this talk in the

first place

let it also be known that my parents at

this point in time

are in a different city altogether and

all they’ve been told

is that i am injured and i’ve

been taken to the hospital so what they

went through that night

was a completely different story because

they had no idea whether i had an arm or

not

they’d just been told that my right hand

was severely injured and that

i had no pulse and no blood pressure

there was also a teacher that night who

eventually once they stabilized me

rode with me to a different city that

was four hours away where i was supposed

to be taken for further medical

assistance

that teacher is also one of the reasons

why i’m here today after that another

city that i was moved to

i was finally moved to bombay for an

extended stay at the hospital

and you know for further recovery eight

months after that

and after i recovered of all my injuries

i was

i went back to boarding school and that

very teacher

who’d ridden with me that night in that

ambulance in the middle of the night

to a different city in while i was in

the condition that i was in

had been diagnosed with swine flu and

also passed away

i had basically suffered two incredible

losses

in one year now the harder part of going

through this incident

is not the fact that i had that i lost

an

arm and then i had to you know learn how

to do everything from scratch

such as wearing my clothes writing with

my left hand and so on

the harder part of this is the societal

scrutiny that comes with being a

physically disabled individual or a

physically disabled woman in my case

in india because indian society

simply assumes that if you have a

physical disability it’s the end of the

road for you

now i work in a relatively open-minded

environment

and i’m surrounded by people such as my

colleagues and my friends

who i don’t have to justify anything to

i don’t

have to tell them or you know explain to

them

as to how i lead my life on a regular

basis

but an auto driver and an uber driver

taking me to the to my next destination

will always bring up the fact that

nobody’s going to marry me leave that

aside

there’s a certain educated section of

indian society

that in the past has walked up to me and

asked me as to what i’m doing with my

life

and whether i’ve thought about the

marriage situation

with my situation it is these

assumptions

that weigh you down in the long run and

even if you are thriving and doing well

for yourself they make

they instill a feeling of self-doubt and

you begin to wonder that because

you aren’t as society

would want you to be conventionally it

just makes you wonder are you not

good enough it is also these assumptions

that are the reason

why accessibility provisions are

essentially non-existent in india

because if you don’t talk about how a

certain section of people

leads their lives how and why

would you make an effort towards finding

solutions to their problems

do you all know that every time i go to

a salon to get waxed

you know because i’m a girl so i have to

get waxed every time i go to a salon to

get waxed i

have to pay for both arms i mean there’s

no because there’s no provision and it’s

a standard price

so every time i’m at the cash counter

the cashier gets really awkward and then

he or she doesn’t know what to say

and then they charge me the full 1000

rupees and i mean there’s no way that

i’m getting two arms waxed

so and that is the problem the problem

is that there is no conversation

surrounding people with disabilities

in india and that is why there are no

solutions

to the little things that we have to

deal with on a regular basis

i realized the lack of accessibility

provisions in india when i first went to

the united states

while i was there i went to the united

states to study

while i was there nobody was staring at

me

nobody really questioned how i was you

know when i was going to how i was

leading my life

nobody ever told me that oh you don’t

have an arm so your life is over

they never scrutinized me they simply

lauded me for leading the life that i

was leading

and they never questioned as to why i

was in a 50 people dance class

or why wall climbing with one arm was a

good idea

it was that sense of normalcy that gave

me the confidence to be in that 50

people dance class in the first place

despite the fact that i knew

that i probably wouldn’t get more steps

right it made me feel comfortable

in my own skin that sense of

normalcy is what was essentially

acceptance for me in my case

and i felt so accepted that

by the time i moved back to india post

graduation

the scrutiny stopped bothering me i

started brushing off the stairs and the

questions

i remember in my early days after my

accident there was a point in time where

i would

walk into a restaurant or any crowded

place and i would pretend to be on my

phone

because i knew people were staring at me

so i would pretend to text even though i

wasn’t texting anyone and i would rush

to my table

because i simply did not want to

acknowledge the fact that they were

looking

because that would make me very

uncomfortable

but that isn’t the case anymore i

realized

that i may not be able to change the

fundamentals of society

but what i can do is change the

narrative and change my narrative

the bus driver who was the reason behind

this accident

and the the reason for this lifetimes

for a lifetime’s worth of damage done to

me served a mere three months

in jail and he’s out and walking free

now i definitely cannot do anything

about that absurdly reduced sentence but

what i can do

is that i can do something with my life

i realized

that all i had to do was turn the why me

why did this happen to me into

unfortunately me

and what’s next i realized that the

alleged limitations

that i thought i had and that would that

i thought that were preventing me from

doing the things that i can do today

weren’t bothering me because i couldn’t

do anything

they were bothering me because they were

being reinforced by people

i didn’t even know so i broke free from

the cage

of that scrutiny and from the weight of

that scrutiny

by realizing one and one thing only

and that is that i can do whatever i

want

i realized that you don’t need

to prove yourself to everyone as long as

you

are at peace with the fact that you are

doing great

because when you are comfortable in your

own skin

you exuberate a sense of confidence that

makes the others comfortable

around you i realized that you don’t

need two hands to clap back at society

and tell them that you can in fact do

everything that the people around you

can

if not more and that is essentially what

redefined freedom for me

i channeled my energy towards doing

things for people like me

i’ve worked with ngos in the past and

the current my current workplace has a

program that is working towards

making all written and video content

accessible to individuals with cognitive

disabilities

this is how i managed to find the

positives

in a tragedy like this one and actually

reap the benefits out of it to move

ahead and move forward

and this is what you can do to make

differently abled individuals

like me a little bit more comfortable in

their own skin and in their society and

in society

one normalize normalize conversation

around the fact

that there is a certain section of

people that may not look

as conventional as everyone else but

still manages

to do the same things and lead a normal

life if not more on a daily basis

two spark a conversation talk

about the struggles that people like us

go through

regularly because only then will you be

able to assist them

and find solutions and make society more

inclusive and accessible to all

three and the most important one always

keep an open mind because you never know

a person with a disability visible or

not visible

may have the potential of a lifetime and

may actually surprise you with what they

can do

after all thank you

you