A Beauty Queen But you are a boy

[Music]

many girls dream

of entering a beauty pageant in their

life

having their makeup done wearing

beautiful dresses

and walking on a stage feeling like an

absolute queen

i know that this was my lifelong dream

for as long as i can remember

but not until recently didn’t actually

become

my reality thank you so much

perfect

my name is solange hi

i am a 24 year old beauty queen

i have won several titles

it always seemed so impossible

so out of my league

for a girl like me to actually be a

beauty queen

but here i am still today

wearing a beautiful dress a feeling

like my true self

i remember when i was younger

my mother asked me what do you want to

be

when you grow up what kind of profession

do you want to have

and at first i told her i want to be

a famous pop singer i want to be like

britney spears shakira beyonce

she loved and she said you don’t have a

voice for that

you need you need you need to pick

another profession

so i thought okay all right well uh

then i want to be an fbi agent

i want to be double seven style be a

bond girl be be be someone

special she lost again and she said

that’s not a real profession you need to

be a real

profession a real job so i thought okay

all right and my last answer was

i want to be a beauty queen

i want to be a famous model

famous beauty queen who wears beautiful

dresses

and who owns the stage

and she looked at me confused and she

said

how can you be a beauty queen we are a

boy

yeah a boy i mean

don’t get me wrong i am a woman

just look at me but to be more concrete

i am a transgender woman so that means

yeah

i was born in the body of a boy

are you already confused can you imagine

how i felt growing up

growing up with all these thoughts all

these

unfulfilled pieces in my

heart in my soul waking up

every day thinking what am i missing

what am i not getting

what’s what’s the problem

it made me and my family uneasy

that i was different you know when i

grew up

there were no openly famous

transgender people there was no one

who i could look up to who i could point

a finger to

who i could say this person

is who i want to be this person

is who i look up to there was no one

i knew what i wanted i knew my feelings

were real

i knew exactly how i saw myself in the

mirror

but i didn’t know how i could

point it out in the world

so eventually i got to school and i just

i just told everyone

i’m a gay boy just to just to make it

easy

i got vegan

i got i’ve been called names

uh people threw things at me

and you have to realize that in that

moment when you are in that age group

when you are 13 when you’re 14

your party is changing you you don’t

know who you like

there’s so many different things

happening

uh you you’re being bullied so severely

you have

no support from family you have no

friends you you’ve no one who you can

connect to it makes you

it makes you go a little bit crazy

and eventually at the age of 14

i saw no light at the end of the tunnel

and i have my first suicide attempt

can you imagine the age of 14

when you are supposed to care if that

boy likes you or not

you’re supposed to read a text

asking to go to prom or whatever

and here you are jumping off that bridge

because the world doesn’t want you

could you imagine how that felt it was

such a

painful painful moment in my life

and it didn’t got better

when i reached the age of 16 i

tried my second attempt

i had so much trouble with

trying to find my place trying to find

my spot

in the world trying to

try to stand up for myself trying to

just being me but i realized

that when i when i climbed out of that

water

when i had my second suicide attempt at

16

i climbed out of that water and i

thought

what am i doing why

why am i letting

people control my life

that i want to jump off a bridge

and it was in that moment when i thought

i am gonna live

i am gonna live for myself right now

i am going to get out of this water

and i am going to shine so hard

and be so happy with myself

and i think that

i really think that after that moment it

got me to realize

that you need to make yourself happy

you really need to make your own and

create your own happiness

when i got home

um my mother eventually she just

she just couldn’t take she just couldn’t

handle it taking care of me anymore

she just couldn’t she just could not

handle the burden anymore

so she told me that i had

one week one week and i had to grab

all my belongings all my stuff

and i have to be gone

can you imagine that your own

mother wants to have you out of the

house

at 17

my heart was shattered i was in so much

pain

within three days i packed all my stuff

and i went i went to a big city

and i thought i’m gonna make it

i’m gonna be proud of myself

and i’m gonna make it work and

i did for the remaining years

my personal life went actually

pretty great i’ve made friends

i actually made friends friends who took

care of me friends who

saw me for who i was

who i wanted to be and not for what i

was

not for my past not for

all the challenging things that have

happened to me

but it also got me realized that

even though you’re in such a big city so

many

cultures so many different aspects

when employers find out you are a

trans person you’re off the list

they do not want to hire you

because they think it’s so much work

it’s too much effort supposedly we would

draw all the attention we would have so

many sick days off we would not be great

workers

so one of my friends victoria who i’ve

known for a few years now

she is the creative director of this

pageant and she told me she she saw

she saw how i was suffering

so she just told me just apply

just apply for this patient and

we’ll see what happens so i thought i

have nothing to lose

i can do this so i

com i i feel like the form

um i thought i am not gonna be chosen

for this patient

so many girls who

are so much better than me who are so

much older than me or so many more

who have so many more experience than me

but it was still within one week that i

i got the email congratulations

you are miss netherlands for miss

transtar international

can you imagine how i felt

i knew that finally

i was gonna be a pillar

i i got the chance to be

exactly who i wanted to be when i was so

young and i didn’t have that person

i got the chance to be that person

for people like me

so in december we uh we went to

barcelona

we went for the beauty pageant um

it was amazing it was absolutely

amazing to have met so many girls

who you could just grab your mind to

so many girls who experience the same

things like you have

who could laugh with you could cry with

you

you are truly one all one family because

you have been through so many similar

things

from the 28 countries representing

i reached top 10.

i was so proud of myself this

small girl from a small village

having no experience in paige whatsoever

reached top 10 in an international

beauty pageant

and most of all i got to make myself

proud

i got to make i got to make that little

boy

from so many years back out thinking

like

you actually did it you’re a beauty

queen

i remember when the winner was chosen

on the last day of after the finale and

the girls were packing up their suitcase

and i remember

i sat down and i

was looking myself in the mirror

and i was bawling my eyes or just

bawling my eyes up because i was just

such an intense moment i was so proud of

myself

and one thing that just crossed my mind

was you see mom

i am a beauty queen

and i did it

i’ve reached what i wanted

and this is the proudest i’ve ever been

of myself

the point of this title

was to make you realize that transgender

people

are people too

we don’t want special treatment we don’t

want

to be seen as something different

we are just the same like you like you

and like you

we breathe the same we love the same

even though we have different lies we

are one

by the way if you are an employer

do not be afraid to have a conversation

with a transgender person just sit down

sit down and have a chat

we have had to face so many challenging

issues

that we can definitely take on your

professional issues

so give us a chance

thank you