Befriending Jealousy

[Music]

what if i tell you that

jealousy is actually a good thing

when i was a kid my mom always told me

honey i would love to see you as a

doctor when you grow up

but sometimes it went like a content

would be perfectly fit for you

i don’t know she wanted me to be

everything anything

except for the only thing that took my

interest

modeling i was so obsessed

with how gracefully and powerfully the

model struck down the international

runway

i remember one day i was watching a

random youtube video

i was so amazed by the scenes of

victoria’s secret models

with fit bodies wavy hair and huge wings

they look godly and all of the sudden

i realized that this is my dream

this is what i want i desperately wanted

my heart was set on this on becoming a

victoria is a good model

so how to become one of them i asked

myself

ah i’ll google every requirement needed

so here’s what i found height 170

to 185 checked

perfect i’m right in between

bust 86 oh my god of the victoria that

you’re looking for

waist 61. i was a bit chubby at that

time

but gyms and word count will help right

so 61 is the can hips

well 90 i was a bit

bigger but they won the hourglass body

so

perfect checked small nose

full lips high cheekbones all check

inner beauty well i guess they are

talking about

personality right well

i am quite well mannered so check

agency i heard that

i have to sign with an international

modeling agency

oh they have online registration so it’s

again i just need to

send them all my photos so it’s um

one two three four five

five out of seven oh my god

it’s already more than a half i’m so

close to where i wanna be

but then i read a newspaper

saying that most victoria’s secret

models

are discounted at a very early age 13

to 15 years old which is the same as me

at that time but why am i here i’m not

scouted yet

this is so unfair okay

maybe i need to work more on my body

measurement

and i desperately need to sign within

modeling agency

so i went working out four hours a day

calculating every single calorie that i

take in

watching countless tutorials on how to

walk and pose

like a model and trying to be competent

in english

just to make sure that i can communicate

with the agency

so after three months i got the desired

body management

i am so proud of myself

and this is the last step signing with

an agency

so i spend hours writing a proper email

and send all of my photos to as many

agencies as possible

oh my god i’m so close to where i dream

to be

oh my god this is so close i’m getting

there

and that thought went with me to my

sleeve

it was it going in my sleeve it felt

just

so real and the next morning

when i wake up i open my mail oh my god

all the mails that i received

i couldn’t believe in my eyes anymore it

was bills from my online shop

and the next morning no new email and

the day after that

emails from school i kept waiting

waiting and waiting but such emails

have never arrived in my inbox i was so

sad so upset after all of the effort i

put into this i got nothing back

just so unfair so evil to me cannot

accept that

but then i received praises

from people around me they told me that

oh you look so fit lately you should

try to take part in a beauty pageant oh

your english sounds so much better right

now

and not until that time that i realized

that

it was fair i got something in return

i have better health i got the body

measurement that i wanted at the first

place my english has improved

i got something in return and

finally it took me to where i am right

now missile vietnam 2019

is not the exact destination that i

wanted at the first place but

it was so acceptable

so however i did a poll on my social

media lately i was asking

if people thought envy was bad or good

so the result is not so surprising

more than 80 percent of the reply told

me that they thought

envy was evil so

what is the difference

between the jealousy in my case i was so

envious with

the young girls winning a spot at

victory secret lineup

and the envy and the thought so i came

up with the two names for them

the first one is evil envy and the

second one is joyful jealousy

evil envy is when you view those who are

superior to you

as your enemies all you want to do to

them

is bringing them down playing tricks on

them to make them struggle

or even breaking their neck just to undo

their achievements

imagine having a friend

who has better results at school better

performance school than you

and all you want to do is try to break

his hand

or do anything just to leave him with no

chance of receiving good scores

his failure is your happiness

and you think that you believe that your

happiness

will increase only if his happiness

decreases

on the other hand joyful jealousy is

instead of hatred

you think of others accomplishments

as motivation something that push you

forward

and make you strive for

with this kind of mentality your

relationship

with envy is a healthy one your focus is

on yourself

on improving yourself and pulling

yourself toward

a newer high

so this reminds me of a saying

of nature envy drives us to be

better people because through envy we

admit what we are missing

so let’s revisit my example i was so

envious of the victorious great models

of the young girls who win a spot at

victoria’s secret

lineup but instead of letting the

negative

thoughts and comparisons consume me

i try to find out what i was missing and

work on it

to become a better version of myself

so now that you know that envy and

jealousy

is actually good things and it seasons

our life

now you must be wondering how to make

how to cook the best dishes

with this spice i know that you get envy

looking at the photos of the super rich

and famous people

on social media or anyone who is better

than you at your crafts

but remember all that you can see is

just the tip of the iceberg

all that you can see is the gains but

what you cannot observe

is their pains the sacrifices and

all the work that they put behind it

for example it’s very easy for you

all to see glamorous photos of mine on

my social media platforms

but what i’m hiding what you can never

see

is my opportunity costs they are the

sleepless nights

the broken relationships the

deteriorating health

the the constant traveling the flying

back and forth

even every single day so

it was quite exhausting but yeah i

accept it

now that you have looked at the

underlying parts of others

let’s take a glance at yourself as human

beings

we always have the tendency to look at

others accomplishments

and to compare them with ours and we

tell ourselves

i am not enough but you should also be

introspective

and to see actually you have already

walked a long way

and comparing yourself to more skillful

more talented

people at your field and striving to be

on par with them which is human nature

to deprive yourself of envy is actually

losing on losing an important part of

our self

competition without it

we can never grow we can never know that

we can be better than who we are right

now and that we can never grow

they always say that don’t compare

yourself to others

don’t be jealous but please just do

put yourself and others on a scale

and let your anger fuel your drive

but at the same time be aware of the

opportunity cost

that they have to pay for whatever they

are having

and how far you’ve gone to now

i dare you all to be jealous

joyfully jealous thank you

you