Traumatic Brain Injury And Giving Up Traumas Burden

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[Applause]

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ah

seven years ago i was a freshman in

college as

a pre-med student i had everything going

for me

i was smart athletic and

well of course pretty good looking

then one night i was hit by a drunk

driver while crossing the street

i suffered the most severe

brain injury my doctors have ever seen

you know i was given a 4

chance for survival and

instantly my entire ability to function

and everything i learned in 18 years was

gone my kids refer to me

as mom my still pretty good looking

nephew

connor here calls me emmy emmy

basically they’re one and the same

so when my sister called me in the

middle of the night

seven years ago to inform me that conor

had had this awful accident

i was overcome i was confused

i just couldn’t place it

i was lost why could this even happen

i’d say our world was in pretty bad

shape i was um actually

in place in an induced coma for two

weeks

when i opened my eyes it was not like a

soap

opera where the guy asked in a shocked

way

what happened i was literally

in the same infancy

i may have had my eyes open but i was

not mentally present

or aware of anything around me for years

my life had been erased

conor’s injury pulled the rug out from

everything i thought i knew about life

i had to place it somehow so i started

writing

at that time social media was not in my

wheelhouse but i knew early on

that this was a story that needed to be

told

our family resilience was only part of

what i observed

so i started a daily journal rather than

rest

in rage that this had even happened

i chose to focus on the good and the

optimism

and the trust that we had that conor

would prevail

make no mistake though we knew his

restoration

wouldn’t be easy we had to set a

bold determination and in doing so

we had to find something positive to

bridge

every day even when we had no

idea what was in store

i envisioned there would come a time

when conor

would reawaken and gain his awareness

back

and then he could read about his

incredible journey

i committed to be the storyteller

however despite the fact that i was

doing the writing

every day conor was my inspiration

people started reading my daily

reflections

this safe space to share hardship

became therapeutic readers

reflected similar messages from their

own struggles

which then strengthened us

soon my words reached thousands

and thousands reached us in return

with transparency and honesty

and authenticity brain injury

is the worst invisible injury

besides not having the ability to

walk talk swallow or

even think i lost myself

i didn’t have awareness of time or my

feelings

i didn’t even know when i was hungry for

pete’s sake

if it were snowing outside i would have

said we were in the middle of summer

nothing made sense in my brain to the

world

i was disconnected from reality

i was also incapable of doing anything

physically or mentally

therapy sessions were grueling

for example early on conor’s feet

would be strapped to a stationary bike

the blinking red light indicated the

machine was pedaling

for him but we were there with him

encouraging him hoping somewhere in his

disconnected brain he could literally

remember

how to ride a bike the red light

unwavered day after day

after day but then

during one such session for an instant

a green light flickered just for an

instant

which meant that conor peddled on his

own

the celebration in the therapy room was

quite the spectacle

it’s a good thing you weren’t really

aware because you would have been

totally embarrassed

but we were so elated because we knew

that if conor did something once he

could do it again

and again and again

that day was easy to write about

but there were other days and weeks when

we felt nothing happened

progress felt fleeting and slow

on those days all we could do

was be with connor and remind him

that his home was right there with us

being physically home is one thing but

being mentally home

is quite another bringing me home was

synonymous

with reconnecting my body and mind

my left hand literally did not recognize

what the wright was doing

and if there’s any type of therapy or

rehab out there

you can pay your bomb dollar i did it

all of them contributed to waking me up

again

i couldn’t do a whole lot of the grand

scheme of things

however i could recite every lyric

to dave matthews song so they are lucky

you know it’s a funny thing with the

healing mind pics and chooses

to remember one way or another

we were determined to bring conor home

in all ways

focusing on the good was much more

powerful

than surrendering to sorrow go conor go

became our mantra soon

the power of our light-filled messages

went viral

you had no idea you were such a rock

star but you were

i can attest to how difficult this

journey home

has been with each victory

in celebration in therapy there have

been setbacks

joyfulness was humbled by heartbreak

but i can also tell you that every time

conor suffered a setback something

unexpected happened to reset our hope

like the time conor suffered his first

seizure after his accident

as blindsiding and traumatic as that was

the next day i’m not kidding you the

next day

he started talking for the first time in

months

and he hasn’t really stopped talking

ever since

now now i know he shared this remarkable

story with you

but there are still lingering effects

i have i’m sure some of you have already

noticed

i have a bit of a speech impediment

directly related to my brain injury

i had a car that says brain jury

survivor

so as the police pull me over i can

prove i haven’t been drinking

you don’t know how many times you accuse

me of being drunk

he meant the morning conor’s story

is remarkable given that 4

chance for survival the fact

that he could stand upon this stage

might have been laughable to many a

doctor

early on in giving his prognosis to my

sister

told her that conor would never be able

to be left alone

he won’t know what to do the doctor said

if the house catches on fire

but what doubters didn’t understand were

two things

first conor’s grit

continues to defy all expectations

and second our family commitment

to seeing him from then until now

was greater than any brain injury

oh yeah i mean i brought that doctor who

advised i could never be left alone

well in fact my house

was struck by lightning and did burn to

the ground

but don’t worry guys i was the first one

out of the house

with my dogs that’s

unbelievable for those of you

who have been swept up by uninvited

circumstance

this is what we have learned

don’t keep it to yourself open

your aching heart and let good

seep through the cracks of your heart

brokenness

so that good can rise love will find you

if you let it writing about conor’s

journey

reminded me that at the end of

any day no matter what

good can prevail and love really can

heal

i agree love does you

i just wish it didn’t take its sweet old

time

the past few years have not been easy on

me

brain rehab is not quick

similar to how trees grow there is no

rushing the sphere of nature to do its

job

it just takes time

i’ve realized i’ve defied all

expectations

and from the day i gained awareness this

is what i believe not many people

are lucky enough to be born twice

every day even now

i choose not to offer myself up to the

burden

i will not be limited by circumstances

given to me i can be shared with the

world through

writing is now my turn to pass that

baton of goodness

onto as many as possible

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you