Why Breaking Barriers is a Balancing Act

[Music]

hello everyone so

let me take you to this journey so if i

asked you to close your eyes and

visualize

breaking barriers what would that look

like for you

would you think about this strong and

graceful stallion

galloping through the fields breaking

barriers into

the vistas of freedom or would it be

this person wading through the waves

with his arms

stretched towards the sky surrendering

himself

to the limitless breaking barriers

of time and space or would it be this

little girl

who’s crossing the strawberry fields to

come across the

fence pause and then turn around

not knowing what lies beyond but knowing

that’s a barrier better not broken

what does breaking barriers truly really

mean

so my dad was one of five boys and when

my grandmother

announced to the whole world that she

would

this is when my mom was at the hospital

about to give birth to me

she announced to the whole world that

she would distribute sweet treats to

the entire neighborhood if a girl was

born

and not even bother visiting at the

hospital if it was the boy

so then i was born and at a societal

time when the girl child was

not that celebrated i felt like i broke

barriers just by merely being born

and remained my grandmother’s absolute

favorite grandchild

through her remaining years and as i

grew up she told me

that people around me took decisions for

my life because i didn’t know what else

to do

but in your life make sure that you

create your own choices

and you determine your own decisions

so she broke those barriers for me

my dad raised me as an individual and

never

as a daughter or a girl child so if

there was something that i couldn’t do

it was because of situations or

circumstances

or my lack of capabilities and never

because of who i was as a gender

so growing up i really didn’t know that

barriers existed

much because my family and my parents

made sure that i didn’t see them

in my growing years i also had this

tremendous

honor and opportunity to meet with

and to volunteer with mother teresa at

nirmal riddha which is her hospice free

hospice for

the sick the poor and the underserved

there i

saw how that institution was breaking

barriers of

gender culture nationalities religion

every single

day just by offering their love

and their service

and being exposed to that for even a

brief period of time

i realized that as individuals as human

beings

we create our own barriers

whether it be physical or metaphoric

so i took all of that all of those

experiences and then

became the first person and the first

girl in my family

to cross thousands of miles several

years ago

to come here i still remember my first

day at the college cafeteria when

i was nervously browsing through the

food and this

really tall classmate of mine six fit

six inches tall guy

he approached me and eased me in

with a friendly casual conversation

and it’s at that moment i realized that

we

all may talk different or look different

but at the end of the day we all

think smile love and connect

the same way so i took that and then

i decided to break down my own

boundaries

of the fear of inclusion and just kept

opening myself to possibilities and

people

and every step of the way i felt

incredibly supported by my wig mates in

life

starting from my grandmother so i became

that stallion

so life was steadily pacing along at

this point when

my mother got diagnosed with ovarian

cancer

and within a year of her diagnosis she

passed away

so the barriers in the walls that i did

not know existed

just kept building around me with a

series of personal events that were

happening to me

in my life at that point one after the

other

after the other after the other

these deep and dark walls of depression

just kept growing bigger

and larger but it is also

through this deep journey that i

stumbled upon

my passion and my true purpose

in life and that’s huge i realized that

i needed to give up my corporate career

to create this foundation this ovarian

cancer foundation in my mother’s memory

but as an analyzing mba i took this idea

and pitched it to my trusted inner

circle

only to be met with a lot of

caution a call to understand the

practical challenges and implications of

my decision

the voice of reason around me kept

growing louder and louder

but the fire and the passion i

felt burning within me also kept growing

larger

and stronger i realized that i needed

to break my own barriers of the fear of

failure of

not having a properly manicured plan

or not having financial security to

just surrender to the alchemy of my

vision

i knew that my heart and my head had

aligned

to become of service to others

and so that’s overcome was formed and

next year we are getting ready to

celebrate our 10th

anniversary having served millions of

women

and their families worldwide so then i

became that person

wading through the waves with my arms

stretched

towards the sky surrendering to the

limitless

breaking barriers is brilliant it’s hard

work but

it is relentless and it requires

obstacles doubts challenges

and rising to constant expectations

the number of times i have been told no

to funding requests

to collaborative opportunities to great

ideas

would put any toddler to shame

and in my search to find that inner

peace from

all these chaotic rejections i even

figured out how

kale or beads or oysters

restore mental health but

none of that worked because i ended up

at my doctor’s office with my

heart pounding and my head spinning

to be diagnosed with critical

hypertension

and it’s at that point i realized that

in my relentless drive

to keep breaking barriers for external

motivation

i had forgotten to embrace my

inner boundaries and to give myself

the honor of self-care so then

i became that little girl across the

strawberry fields

stopping at that fence and turning

around

knowing that few barriers are better not

broken

i became best friends with my meditation

guide

breaking years of resistance

coming down and coming back with my same

favorite line each time

i’m too busy to meditate so taking you

back to where we started so i have been

that stallion

galloping through the fields breaking

through the barriers

and recognizing every step of the way

that i couldn’t have done it

by my own that breaking barriers

almost always invariably includes

the best wing mates our best wing mates

in life

so let’s thank them and try to be one

to someone else i have been

that person wading through the waves

understanding that i had to respond to

this transformative feeling of awakening

that was happening

within me in my vision to create

overcome i have been that little girl

across the strawberry fields just

stopping at that fence and turning

around

understanding and realizing that few

barriers are not

meant to be broken they’re just there to

give us

the gift of courage compassion

and balance they are there to

give us the generous gift of emotional

freedom

most importantly i realized that

breaking barriers is a choice

it’s a perspective so it’s like if

you’re

standing on one side of a very busy

street where

horns are blaring and people are just

rushing by

then you cross that street and enter

into this really tall building climb up

the stairs

onto the rooftop to look into the vast

expanse of the sky ahead of you

if you are lucky a little bit of the

ocean as well

think about what happened nothing

really much changed because you are

pretty much in the same location

but you decided to break

the barriers of everyday chaos of life

to climb those stairs to feel free

and as you climbed you also grew

so i don’t aspire to be a shero or a

female founder or someone who found her

place

at the table breaking barriers of gender

culture

race or religion i’m here to share this

this gift and this perspective of

understanding breaking barriers this

idea

that breaking barriers is a balance

between the external

and the internal it requires recognition

of your best wingmates in life

it requires you to surrender to the

alchemy

of your vision and it requires you to

embrace your inner boundaries to give

yourself

the honor of self-respect

breaking barriers opens doors

but next time you find yourself standing

in front of that

metaphoric door give yourself a minute

as you decide whether to be

that stallion or that little girl or a

little mix of both

but no matter what you do whether you

stand out

or decide to go in surrender

to the alchemy of your vision because

that is when

we truly start breaking

barriers that’s all i have thank you