You Have the Power to Rescript Your Life

you

have the power to rescript

your life it was in the mid

80s i was 21 years old

pregnant with my third child

and living in a bedroom in the home

of my in-laws it was one of those days

when my husband was at work and i was

home

watching the babies it was a time when i

felt

like i was defeated failed my life goals

and like i was not going to amount

to anything beyond being a college

dropout

barefoot and pregnant

a baby making machine

these were popular descriptions at the

time

on this one particular day

i put my baby girls down for their nap

and picked up a copy of parents magazine

a subscription my sister-in-law shared

with me

and i came across this interesting

statement

children of parents who complete

college are more likely

to attend and complete college

themselves i recall

this as a pivotal moment in my life

after reading that statement i looked at

my daughters and i thought

i don’t want to be another statistic

if i wanted my daughters to

have a better life it had to start with

me

i owed it to my dollars to go back to

college

and finish my degree and i did

how did i do this i began

with the end in mind envisioned

the future i wanted and rescripted

my life today

i have three college degrees and my

daughters

have all graduated from college

on another occasion i recall

one clear afternoon in the early 2000s

i was at home sitting in my usual corner

in the living room on my recliner

computer on my lap and deep

in my dissertation work

then the front door first open and three

seemingly upset teenagers trampled in

all glared at me

and one said before they all stormed

away

you don’t care about us anymore

i was taken aback oh no

i have become so absorbed

in my work last track of time

and didn’t get out of the house like i

was supposed to

to make them up from school although

the school was a decent walking distance

they preferred

the ride home

at that moment though a thought

occurred to me if i died

tomorrow what would be more

important completing this dissertation

or ensuring that my daughters knew

that i loved them i felt that i had

neglected

my duty as a mother and the guilt

and stress consumed me

if i died tomorrow

what legacy or lasting thought

would i leave behind

i certainly did not want my daughters to

question

their priority in my life

they had to know unquestionably

that i loved them with all my heart

i was gifted with the opportunity

to rescript my life and i did

just that i committed from that day

forward

that i would put first things first

i made it a point to schedule my breaks

so that it was aligned with the time to

pick

up my daughters from school this routine

allowed us

to talk about our experiences that day

and connect at deeper levels

by making this adjustment to my schedule

i not only communicated to my daughters

that my time with them takes precedence

over other things i was able to rid

myself

of the guilt and stress associated with

the lack

of prioritizing those things that matter

to me

the most taking the time

to rescript my relationships with my

daughters

resulted in a relationship that i am so

proud of if i die tomorrow

my daughters will know without question

that i love them that i value them

and that they are important

in the spring of 2009

i was transitioning between the last

of three very close family members

and the welcoming of my first grand baby

i had just returned from an out-of-town

academic conference

accompanied by a chronic cough that

lasted three weeks

before i saw a doctor who prescribed a

medication

to cure the cough at the time

i was teaching and for the first time

i had to call in sick and cancel my

classes

i spent the entire day in bed physically

weep

but trying all the while to convince

myself

that i was getting better only because

of

all the looming deadlines that i had to

meet

one of my daughters was home on college

break

and was sitting with me when she noticed

i had

red spots on my legs

on my arms on my neck

and my ears were deep red burning

hot and itchy

this worried me enough that i went in to

see a doctor

for the second time in one week

i was diagnosed with stephens johnson

syndrome

a life-threatening condition affecting

the skin

in which cell death causes the epidermis

to separate from the dermis this

was caused by a fatal allergic reaction

to the antibiotic i was prescribed

[Music]

you’ve heard the same the cure

is worse than the disease

i was taken off all medication so that

my body could try

to heal on its own

in that process my body

deteriorated over the days to follow

i remember one night

i was at the peak of my pelvis

my eyes barely able to open

because of the damage to the mucous

membrane

i was unable to talk because the inside

of my mouth

and my lips were raw and sore

i could barely stand and when i did

it felt like i was stepping on sharp

pins

i felt hopeless wondering whether

i would wake up if i went to bed that

night

i’m happy to announce that i did wake up

i had life so what do you do

when you experience life like i did

restrict your life i remember thinking

that i’ve been given an opportunity to

do more

the image that came to mind at the time

was standing

on the stern the back end of a boat

and looking down at that trail of water

that is left behind as the boat moves

forward

if you can imagine that the boat

represents you

cruising through your life what is

driving the boat

the answer could be the present moment’s

energy being generated by the engine and

nothing more

this is what makes the boat move forward

it’s our present moment thoughts that

propel

us to move forward and nothing more

today i near the threshold

of retirement before me

is the opportunity to script my future

i am able to imagine the kind of life

that i want to live and aspire toward

that vision

i have the liberty to identify the

values

that i want to resonate with me

so right here right now

is my present i am excited

to script this next phase of my life

and you you have the power

to rescript your life as well

and you ought to start now

thank you