The Reality of Foster Care

[Applause]

it’s the hard knock life for us

it’s the hard knock life for us

no one cares for you a bit

when you’re a foster kid it’s the hard

knock life

now i remember sitting in my tv growing

up and hearing those lyrics blare from

my screen

as i sat back and watched the hit

hollywood film

annie the story of a feisty curly haired

young girl

who is navigating her world through the

foster care system

now annie is not just a fictional screen

on our movies you see annie is the

portrayal of a real life problem that is

drastically increasing in our world

today

foster care and according to

heartgalleryofamerica.org there are over

435 000 children

in the foster care system today and that

is just in the united states alone

over 110 000 of those children are in

need of adoptive families right now

and each year approximately 20

000 children age out of the system at 18

to live on their own unprepared and

unsupported

so no by no means is annie just a

fictional movie on our screens

for entertainment purposes

but the story of annie is the reality

for thousands of children in the world

today

so i want us to analyze the world of

foster care by first

looking at what it means to live the

hard knock life

second examine some of the reasons that

people are failing to get involved

and third looking towards some practical

solutions to show us how we can be that

son

that comes out tomorrow in the lives of

foster children

so let’s dive in what exactly does it

mean to live the hard knock life

to begin to answer this question i want

us to dissect some more lyrics from the

song

annie states don’t it feel like the wind

is always howling

don’t it feel like there’s never any

light once a day don’t you want to throw

the towel in

because it’s easier than putting up a

fight

no one’s there when your dreams at night

get creepy and no one cares

if you grow or if you shrink

now this is the part i want us to hone

in on

empty belly life rotten smelly life full

of sorrow life

no tomorrow life

you see to live the hard knock life is

to live a life of loneliness

hopelessness exhaustion

and fear feelings that are way too

common in the foster care system

you see we must remember that every

single foster child has a story whether

it be facing physical

sexual emotional abuse or neglect

they have all been in the position of

feeling worthless abandoned and unloved

when these children enter the foster

care system the best case scenario is

that they will be placed with a relative

however in most cases these children are

sent to live with strangers

and foster homes and group facilities

where they have to live with other

foster children and staff members

and according to annie e casey

foundation

living long-term in a group facility has

a negative effect on foster children

they aren’t able to develop those

practical skills

develop that healthy relationship with

an adult

or simply experience a healthy home life

and caseworkers are failing to see the

trauma that is being put on these

children

from maltreatment and multiple moves

from homes and schools

in the foster care system

all those transitions lead to a lack of

familiarity

that lack of familiarity turns into a

lack of comfort

and that lack of comfort turns into a

lack of security

you see the trauma of these foster

children

just continues to build and in time

foster children begin to place feelings

of regret

guilt and shame on themselves and

believe that their trauma is resulted

from something that they did

however on the outside looking in we

understand that

nothing that they’re going through is

their fault

but when a child’s mind becomes so

engrossed in guilt and shame

it is so hard to comprehend and accept

the truth of the matter so then how do

you sit down with a

year old and tell her you did nothing

to deserve being abused

how do you sit down with a little boy

and tell them that although his father

loves him deeply he doesn’t have the

right to lash out at him

as a sign of frustration

in some cases you simply can’t

you see these children do not just need

a regular old foster parent they need

someone who will sit with them in the

family courtroom as they sit across from

their family and often be told

they can’t go home they need someone who

will be there on the days they have to

go to school

fake it till they make it and act as if

their world were not falling apart

you see what these foster children deal

with is very real

and it’s not easy nor should we treat it

like it’s easy

because being pulled from your home

having to live with strangers push

through the judicial system as if you’re

just a number

and just simply trying to hold

yourselves together

that is the hard knock life

so now that we have a better

understanding of what it means to live

the hard enough life

let us examine some reasons that people

are failing to get involved

so in the movie annie the audience is

introduced to a plethora of characters

the first character is miss hannigan

the foster mother now miss hannigan is a

drunken

lazy selfish hateful woman who despite

her role hates

children on the flip side we have

daddy warbucks who is a billionaire who

takes in annie

but has no intentions of developing a

real relationship with her

but instead wants to use her to promote

his public image

now while these specific characters are

fictional

the situation is far from it

so let us rid the foster care system of

the ms hannigans

who’ve taken children from money and

greed let us do away with the daddy

warbucks who have no intentions of

developing a real relationship with a

child

but instead use that child’s trauma

for their personal gain

let us do away with the people that

simply can do good and replace them with

those

that want to do good because you see the

world just doesn’t need foster parents

to stand up

the world needs good foster parents

to stand up because these children

deserve it now you see 33 percent of

people consider

getting involved in the foster care

system

approximately only two percent ever do

so why is that

the big but i want to get involved

but while i was thinking about it but

the excuses you see so many of us go

through the millions of reasons why we

can’t do anything

rather than the one reason that we could

the first excuse focus on materialism

you see i want to help but i don’t think

i can provide them with

now besides the essentials of food water

clothing and shelter

foster children do not need special

treatment so no they don’t need some big

house to live in name-brand clothes or

the newest iphone

now while i’m sure many of them wouldn’t

fight you for it

a lack to provide should not be the

reason that you don’t get involved

because let us be real materials don’t

last forever

but the true love of someone

can last a lifetime so let’s shift our

focus

from providing those temporary materials

to providing these children with someone

that will be there for them

and support them mentally and

emotionally

not just physically the second excuse is

but i don’t want to deal with the foster

care system

now don’t get me wrong this is a very

very very valid point

the foster care system can be messy

there may be days of miscommunication

there may be days of no communication

there may be judges and caseworkers that

simply do not

care but again

we should not let that stop us from

helping these children out

because the fact that the system is

messy does not disregard the fact that

there are so many children being

affected by it

now i love the words of adoptive mother

marley brantley

where she states you may not necessarily

be able to fix the brokenness of the

system

but your only job is to hold the hand of

the one that is being wounded

by its brokenness

foster children don’t need excuses

foster children need advocates

and lastly and probably the most common

excuse that i hear is

but i don’t want to get too attached

now as someone who loves really really

hard

i know how it feels to have the fear of

attachment

but let us remember that these foster

children need to feel that healthy

attachment

they need someone to show them what a

healthy happy home looks like

so if you have the opportunity of having

a foster child in your home

try not to think of the hurt that will

come if they lose

instead be present and nurture them with

so much love

care and support that they can take with

them

and lastly just be there for them

because these children have come from

homes where they felt like no one has

cared about them

let’s change that

so with all of this being said what are

some practical solutions

how can we be the sun that comes out

tomorrow in the lives of foster children

first we need to stop looking at the

foster care system as if it is this

distant problem

that doesn’t affect us instead we who

are able to help

should help those who aren’t able to

help themselves

first support if time is concerned

simply support those who are foster

parents

take over a meal offer to babysit or

simply be a listening ear for those hard

days

if you know someone whose child has just

been put in the foster care system

support them as well offer to take them

to meetings

job interviews and simply be an

accountability partner for them

so that we make sure that these children

are getting placed back in a healthy

stable and secure home

number two donate

help gather clothes toys games and

suitcases for children

that literally come into the foster care

system with a trash bag

full of their belongings

now let me repeat that they come in with

a trash bag

full of their belongings

in no way should we ever be making a

child feel like they

are garbage number three

mentor hang out with the foster child

take them for ice cream simply just jam

out in your car

the emotional investment that you are

pouring in them is something that will

change their lives

forever be that sense of hope that they

have

number four patience sympathy

empathy everyone’s story is different

so never assume that you know a foster

child’s story

and never try to tell them how to feel

because of their story

your only job is to be present be kind

listen and actively engage

and lastly advocate

if you don’t feel like you can do

anything else on this list advocate

there are so many people in the world

who simply do not know the reality

of the foster care system pass

on your knowledge and raise awareness

now i am not just standing up here as

someone speaking about things that i

don’t know about

i speak from experience

you see i was that little girl

who had to sit across from her mother in

a family courtroom

just to be told i couldn’t go home

i was that girl who had to be convinced

that she was doing the right thing by

reporting years of abuse

i was that foster child who thought that

i would always live

the hard knock life

but now i stand up here as a 20 year old

telling you by actively engaging in the

foster care system and helping these

children out

you can change their lives you see i

went from a girl

struggling in some of my classes to

getting 4.0

a girl who thought that i had no future

ahead of me to a girl getting a

full ride scholarship

a girl who thought i was nothing to a

girl who was literally living out one of

her dreams and giving a ted talk

today and this story isn’t just special

to me think of simone biles

michael ower john lennon so many

successful people who have been

positively impacted by the foster care

system

because someone took a chance on them

someone

chose them

and with your help i would love to make

that the reality for

so many other children in the world

today

so i think what i want to do is rewrite

those lyrics from the beginning

let’s change them to they went through a

hard knock life

yeah they went through a hard knock life

but let’s show them that we’re always

there and show them that we will

always care through those hard knocks in

life

so take my words and put them to action

because you never know whose life you

could change

no you never know whose life

you could save

thank you