Change your Heroes Change Your Life

[Music]

as a young boy

on my way to bed slipping quietly past

my parents bedroom door

my dad’s light was always on he sat

propped up on the king-sized bed like a

sentry

guarding the night glasses perched on

the edge of his nose he was typically

reading the biography of a great leader

over time dad became a terrific leader

himself

building a company recognized as one of

the hundred best places to work in

canada

he was my hero my grandfather was

also my hero in 1911

he designed what was then the tallest

building in the british empire

later he was inducted into the canadian

business hall of fame both

men were visionary but more importantly

they were known for their integrity

i wanted to be like them and to one day

lead our family real estate business

i began following their footsteps

almost unconsciously our heroes shape

our lives

our dreams our character

as an aspiring leader i took on new

heroes to emulate

the two most prominent were vince

lombardi and winston churchill

one had a super bowl ring the other led

the allies to victory during world war

ii i adopted their mantras

winning is not the most important thing

it’s the only thing

never never never give up

the problem was i wasn’t playing

football nor was i at war

additionally i was in a hurry to make my

mark

but as warren buffett has recently noted

the key to

everything is patience you get the

chicken by hatching the egg not by

smashing it

unfortunately early in my career i

carried a hammer a lot and i smashed a

lot of eggs

for example shortly after joining our

family firm

i prepared a career plan designed to

equip me for the president’s office

within 10 years

with my dad’s support i confidently

presented it to my uncle

the company’s ceo much to my surprise

he insisted that i couldn’t be ready for

at least 20 years

he dismissed me as presumptuous

discussion disintegrated into a heated

argument

as a result our relationship never

recovered and i was

dismissed from the company i forfeited

my opportunity to lead a company that

might one day become a global enterprise

my career was in tatters

this forced me to rethink a lot of

things as i

tried to put my life back together in

the 25 years since

i’ve served as an advisor to hundreds of

family enterprise successors

as i’ve mentored them i’ve come to

realize that the mistakes that i made

they were common ones

what a difference it could have made had

i chosen different heroes

so i did change your heroes

change your life let me tell you about

three who’ve inspired me

first john wooden the legendary coach

of the ucla men’s basketball team he was

extraordinarily patient every season

first day of practice he’d explained to

the players the proper way to put on

athletic socks

most of the team considered this

ridiculous can you imagine john wooden

at 5 foot 10

trying to explain to kareem abdul-jabbar

at seven foot two how to put on his

socks

it took a lot of patience to go through

this ritual and to explain why it was

even important

coach wouldn’t explain the value of this

as follows

he said gentlemen if we want to win a

national championship

we need to play better than our

opposition

to do that we need to practice with more

intensity

to do that we need to avoid getting

blisters on our feet

and to do that we need to put on our

socks properly

what an incredible example of patience

since adopting john wooden is one of my

heroes i’ve been cultivating more

patience

in my own life had i done that earlier

the encounter with my uncle perhaps my

entire career

could have been radically different

now let’s consider benjamin franklin

best known as one of america’s founding

fathers

he was also an entrepreneurial leader

and a diplomat

as a scientist he’s credited with

discovering electricity and with

inventing bifocals

but for me his most notable achievement

was his pursuit of humility

as a young man one of franklin’s friends

observed that ben could be a

jerk in conversation and always had to

be right

he could have been describing me as a

young man

early married that’s exactly how i was

just ask my wife but franklin

prodded by his friend’s bold critique

decided to mend his

ways he came to realize that humility

properly understood is not thinking less

of yourself

it’s thinking of yourself less

he made a commitment to cultivate

humility

and to do that he resolved to deny

himself the privilege of

ever disagreeing with anyone

with this remarkable approach franklin

found that his opinions were much more

readily received by others

he also became more open to other

people’s ideas and opinions

consequently as an elder statesman

during the drafting of the u.s

constitution

he was successful in diffusing arguments

and building

consensus adopting this approach myself

has wrought enormous changes in my life

and my heart

i’m now more curious less abrasive less

opinionated

even when i disagree i bite my tongue

and try and find something that i can

agree with

this has dramatically improved my

relationships with our adult children

with my wife with everyone

it’s my little secret nobody else knows

that i have this ninja move that’s

changing me from the inside out

lastly let’s think about walt disney he

can teach us a lot about

critical thinking earlier in my career

i often cross swords with members of our

senior executive

instead of attacking problems i attacked

people

this ultimately destroyed my credibility

and many of my working relationships

in hindsight i’ve come to realize that i

had allowed a critical spirit

to totally eclipse my critical thinking

skills

in contrast disney was a master of

critical thinking

just prior to the opening of the pirates

of the caribbean at disneyland

walt was making a last-minute inspection

in the area depicting new orleans he

felt something was missing that could

make it

more authentic he asked his team

does it look right does it sound right

does it smell right does it feel right

everything checked out but walt felt

something was still missing what is it

he asked

finally one of the young employees spoke

up mr disney

i grew up in the south on a night like

this

there ought to be lightning bugs you

know the tiny little energy superstars

disney’s face lit up that’s it he said

and so they

imported live lightning bugs at least

until they could work out a scheme

to imitate them did you notice in this

scenario

walt asked a lot of questions without

criticizing others

since adopting disney is one of my

heroes i’ve been cultivating my critical

thinking skills

learning to attack problems rather than

people

becoming hard on ideas soft

on people

john wooden benjamin franklin and walt

disney are

all heroes worth emulating

none of them are perfect none of us are

yet each day they inspire and tutor me

teaching me about patience humility and

critical thinking

just like the biographies my dad would

read these heroic

figures have become my virtual mentors

helping me to become a better person

i invite you to think about who your

heroes are

is it time for a shift in thinking or a

new perspective

the good news is it’s never too late

change your heroes and you will change

your life thank you

you