Creating Change Through Pain and Pleasure

let me know if this sounds a little

familiar to you

new year’s comes around and you decide

to go ahead and start setting up a new

year’s resolution

whether it’s going to the gym more often

making some more financially sound

decisions

throughout the year or just figuring out

what to do

in a career change and for the first

couple weeks

it goes on pretty strong you start to

make a lot of great strides

you’re going to the gym about three or

four times every week

but after about a couple months it kind

of starts to taper off a little bit

and eventually you decide to put it off

until next year

and you kind of wonder maybe i’ll just

put it off maybe i’ll

get back around to it and eventually the

cycle just repeats

so subconsciously we try to avoid

whatever is going to cause us any kind

of discomfort pain

anything of that sense even if it’s for

the betterment of our own

self like going to the gym because it’s

a change in routine

physical harm due to muscles tearing

we don’t like to be uncomfortable

so that being the case what can we do to

make the change that we want to see

in ourselves or around us in that

situation

so what i would like to propose to you

guys today is a

six-step process known as

neuro-associative conditioning

nac was popularized by a guy that a lot

of us would probably know as tony

robbins

and it’s a six-step process that

utilizes neuro-linguistic programming

or the psychology of words by shifting

the way you associate

pain and pleasure to better suit

the change that you want to make so to

give a very

condensed definition to all of this to

cut out all the psychology lingo

by altering the way you perceive your

current situation

and what you want to change through the

means of pain and pleasure

you can more easily take succinct steps

to achieve your end goal

so i personally utilized the six steps

of neuroassociative conditioning

from going about 5 11 and 165

severely underweight a little bit of

skin and bones to where i’m now going to

be competing

in men’s physique bodybuilding

so to start implementing those six steps

we need to decide what it is that we

want to change whether it’s a new habit

beginning a new routine and also

identifying what it is that’s holding us

back

from making that change so just by a

show of hands and

be honest how many of you guys have

something in your lives that you want to

change

start a new routine start a new hobby

all right so quite a few of us for sure

so i saw one person raise their hand

right over here

you mind coming up on stage real quick

you can just come right around over here

to this side

yeah just right over here

all right so can we go ahead and get a

round of applause for this girls

bravery for coming up here sorry for

this man yeah right over here

all right and can can you tell us your

name real quick um

my name is madison hey madison all right

so what is something that

you would like to change um i think

one of the big things especially with

this week

is disconnecting from my phone

disconnecting from the phone

i know with the collection and

everything going on it’s been a little

tricky to try and not look at social

media

and not look at your phone especially

with so many things changing left and

right

so we’ve kind of identified that first

little part of

step one which is to figure out what it

is that you want to change

and the next part of that is to figure

out what it is that’s holding you back

what do you think is kind of stopping

you from not looking at your phone all

too much

that’s a good question um i think

maybe that

that validation and that boost that i

get when i get like a notification

and i think also maybe just um

just like fear of missing out gotcha

fomo and that little double mean boost

that you get whenever you see

a notification can definitely be very

very addicting

so once we have that all identified the

next step that you need to do

is to get leverage in making that change

so the way we do that is by associating

pain

to what it is that we’re trying to

change and not making that change

immediately and now associating pleasure

and great feelings to changing that

habit

so for example what do you think would

be

the worst case scenario um if you don’t

change this kind of habit of constantly

reaching out to look at your phone

um i think maybe just

like missing out on something that

happens like in real life like

being so focused over here that i just

completely missed something

really important okay so

let’s think of something a little bit

more extreme

now a lot of us can probably be guilty

of this as well but

while we’re driving how many times would

you say that you look at your phone

to see if you got a new text or see if

you got some kind of notification even

if you know

nobody’s probably texting you right now

but you still look at your phone anyways

now with that being the case you’re

putting

not only yourself at risk but maybe a

pedestrian

another car you could potentially put

yourself six feet under or somebody else

and that’s it you won’t be able to see

your graduation you won’t be able to see

the rest of your life because now you

just cut yourself short

now on the other side of that what do

you think are some good things that

would come out of

not looking at your phone all too much

um

well with that standpoint i guess not

putting other lives in jeopardy

but i think also maybe just um

getting to separate myself a little bit

from the toxicity

of social media and being able to just

maybe feel a little better throughout

the day

absolutely and that’s a very very good

way to look at it

i know i personally when i was going

from the transition from being

underweight to where i am now

that type of pain and pleasure was

looking at it where if i didn’t

change where i was physically i’m

putting myself at risk

of potential health issues later on down

the road

malnutrition probably not going to be

able to see a full

long healthy life because of how

i was physically but on the other side

of that

coin if i at least put myself in a

better

physical standpoint i can now be able to

have a better chance of looking at a

much longer more fulfilling life being

able to do

what it is that i would truly want to do

and not hold myself back

because of being too frail being too

weak anything of that sense

and on that third little step you need

to be

um start creating an interruption

to your limiting behavior or that habit

that you’re trying to break

so a lot of you probably know that whole

little routine

of if you’re trying to break a habit

have a little rubber band on your wrist

and just kind of snap your wrist every

single

time you think of trying to do what

you’re trying to

break now we don’t always need to create

some kind of rubber band in order to

harm ourselves in order to break a habit

we can always have a positive or a

negative punishment

to prevent yourself from repeating that

behavior that you’re trying to change

so when it comes to wanting to look at

your phone all the time

maybe try texting yourself saying hey

stop looking at your phone or

toss it do something but you don’t need

to harm yourself in order to stop

yourself from breaking a habit

but it’s always okay to get a little

creative

to find a way that’s going to be just a

little uncomfortable for you to where

you’re not going to want to try and

repeat that same behavior

over and over and over again

so i know for me one of the biggest

things was

make sure i was eating enough making

sure i was going to exercise enough

and those moments where you really just

don’t want to get up

you don’t want to go out and be active

for those times

force yourself to do like jumping jacks

push-ups

something active break that little

limiting behavior that’s

that tiny little voice in your head

saying maybe i’ll do this another time

maybe i’ll do this later maybe tomorrow

all that matters is that you find some

kind of interruption

and for the fourth step is to create

that new

alternative creating something that’s

going to be a little bit better for you

than for example for madison looking at

her phone all the time

and finding something that’s going to be

more empowering for you

for me in my fitness journey it’s as

simple as going to the gym

for somebody that’s trying to find a way

to not look at their phone

it could be something entirely different

so

madison for example what can you think

of that you can do

instead of looking at your phone

um i guess maybe

um instead of like if i’m texting

someone maybe just say hey

do you do you want to meet in person i

know that well i know that with the

pandemic that can be a little

a little uh rocky but just trying to

still get a social interaction

without the screen

in between absolutely and that’s a good

alternative

starting in a conversation with somebody

that’s

there around you instead of constantly

looking at at your phone

is an absolutely amazing alternative

because you’re still getting that social

interaction

you’re still getting that little

serotonin boost that you’re getting from

actually talking to somebody getting

something out of it that’s going to make

you feel better

learning more about another person but

at the same time prevents you from

constantly having to pull out your phone

and look at it all the time and

so thank you so much for your

participation on this madison can we go

ahead and get one more round of applause

for real quick

all right so on to the fifth step we now

need to start conditioning

this new habit this new routine so

this can be as simple as just giving

yourself a pat on the back

finding something that you thoroughly

enjoy

to reward yourself for now doing the new

routine

finding that new habit instead of the

more detrimental

reaching that you had before and this

can be as simple as just

treating yourself to a smoothie having a

shake

something and that’s all that you need

to do

reinforce that new habit and next thing

you know you’re going to find yourself

repeating that new alternative over and

over and over again

without needing to constantly reward

yourself for doing so

and lastly to sum all of those other

steps

into one you need to put this all into

action

it’s great and all to have this all on

paper and saying this is great

i know what i need to do now but

it’s all great on paper but you need to

actually put

action to those words those ideas and

those thoughts that you have

in order to see if it works or not see

if it sticks

i know i for one have gone through a

couple of ideas of how to get

more active how to get in shape and

it didn’t work so it’s going back to

that drawing board that’s okay

for you to do figure out what works

better for you

and take those steps again to see if you

can make the change that you want to see

and now this isn’t a one-man job

it’s okay to ask for help and these six

steps are only as effective

as you make them out to be and if you

need help with accountability

it’s always okay to ask a friend for

help whether it’s a family member

a significant other a best friend

whoever it is

it’s okay to have someone to reach out

to for help

even if it’s as simple as saying hey can

you text me

on these days to say i need to go to the

gym or hey

can you come over on these days to kind

of just help me disconnect from looking

at my phone

all of these matters are okay just

because it’s a transformation for

yourself

doesn’t mean that you have to go solo it

doesn’t mean that you can’t

ask for help

and with all of this being the case i

just want to leave you all with a

question

with these six steps of

neuro-associative conditioning

how are you going to use those six steps

to start a chain reaction

in your life and how are you going to

use those six steps to change something

in your life thank you

you