How the fight to end child marriage in the UK continues

[Music]

i’m

so excited to be here with paisley

mahmoud now

you are part of my tedx london family we

both spoke in 2019

we’ve kept in touch since since our

moment on this

infamous red carpet but for those who

may be unaware

what was the focus of your talk in 2019

well jamie firstly i just want to say

thank you so much for the introduction

i’m so happy to be back here with you

yes it feels like it was so long ago but

it really wasn’t

um so my talk was about some of my

personal experiences regarding

child marriage so i was married at 16

here in the uk

which the law permits and i also shared

my sister story who was also married as

a child

and the devastating experiences that we

both went through

during those years of being married and

the fact that everybody around us our

teachers the police social services

and everybody just really looked the

other way

now i did get out of my marriage however

for my sister it led to quite a tragic

end and she lost her life in a so-called

honor killing because she left her

marriage

i don’t want to give too much away about

my talk so if you haven’t watched it i

would invite you to

watch it and you’ll learn more about

this issue absolutely you can join

nearly

700 000 people who have watched your

talk since

it was taken in december 2019 now i

think what a lot of people don’t get to

see

is the process that goes on behind you

know your talk

all of the talks today it is months and

months of

just hard work and hard craft especially

in your situation where you’re showing

so much of yourself on stage so much of

your sister’s story

but what was that reaction like for you

after all of those months of hard work

what was it like to finally share that

story with the world and have

such a visceral response you know what i

want to tell you

about your first point about the hard

work that it took and

the challenges that we all went through

to actually do our talks i think

for the audience listening as you said

you may not know how much work goes into

it so

it is quite um a challenge but i think

for me it was

a very very special experience and i

have moments of reflection and i

realized the incredible support that the

team gave us which

made us be able to deliver our talks for

me to

try and put into words i think how i

felt after my talk and the reaction

it’s i can only say incredible because

if someone had told me years ago if i

shared my story i would have been shown

the support and compassion

from people that i got i would have

never believed it

i was pleasantly surprised you know from

the beginning coming off that stage

people were asking me what can we do how

can we help and

there was so much you know there was

everyone was so open

to wanting to do something about this

issue so it was it was just incredible

to being received so well

i think i remember when we watched it in

the green room it was just

a complete just silence

and i think you know you’ve spoken about

the work that goes into this but

it’s almost tenfold when you are really

you know

opening your chest up on stage and just

being incredibly vulnerable so i

want to thank you for that and i’m so

glad that people

were just receptive to that because you

know you never know what’s going to

happen but it’s been

incredible to see like i say nearly over

700 000 people watch your talk

and just prior to your talk you started

a petition didn’t you

um which is nearly reaching 200 000

signatures now do you want to just

have a little have a little chin work

about the petition what was the

kind of purpose of the petition why did

you think it was a good time to

pop it into the world well i think one

of the issues with what i’m talking

about child marriage is that

a lot of people don’t actually realize

this is an issue that is happening right

here on our doorstep

and so you know we wanted the public to

get behind this and we wanted the public

to actually

demand action from the government and

again we were pleasantly surprised so

the petition was started with several

ngos who are backing it

alongside the bill which you’ll later

talk to us about

and that petition is calling as i said

for the government to act then make sure

that children are safe

from child marriage we shouldn’t allow

this to happen

and you know we’re really really amazed

at the level of support that we’re

getting from the public

and again the talk really helped boost

that because after that talk

the signatures and to this day are still

coming in and

a lot of people do leave comments saying

that they watch the talk and it moved

them to actually take action to sign the

petition and

you know call on the government to do

something about this absolutely because

i think the reaction

you know the reaction personally for you

is really important and it’s really

great but to have to see that turn into

action

for you it just must be such an

emotional and emotional thing because

it’s

it’s your hard work but also it’s your

you know it’s your life it’s your story

it’s it’s an

issue that is impacting so many people

and all of this support and hard work

has come to fruition

with the minimum age bill being born so

for those who may not know in the uk

bills are read in the house of commons

and then a second reading which in this

case

is potentially slightly postponed but

there is there is always hope there

um tell us about the birth of this bill

tell us kind of despite its delays

despite

you know the conflama that comes with

westminster

why is it what why is it so important

for you what’s its kind of

aim so um the bill was introduced as a

private members bill by

an mp pauline latham and as you said it

went through its first reading second

reading unfortunately is

possibly postponed at the moment the

bill is

so important to me jamie because it

means that girls

like myself or like my sister or any

girl doesn’t have to go through this

and i think this is life changing that’s

one of the things that

for me out of my talk that really

touches me and makes me emotional when

people reach out to me and say that

because they watch the talk or because

they’re now aware of this issue

they’re actually able to either step

into somebody else’s life going down

that route

or themselves actually seek support so

it’s something that is so hard to put

into words because i would have never

known as a result of

sharing you know so much pain and um

difficult experiences and loss that

actually it could help

somebody else’s life and so for me every

single time somebody signs that petition

somebody reaches out somebody

you know supports us via social media or

writes to their mp all of those things

it means that you could help somebody

actually have a future

which is what we should all want for

children absolutely and i think what’s

so

lovely to see from your talk and from

the petition is the very

you know it’s a very clear process of

how

what you have said and by sharing your

story change is happening and i think a

lot of people

with moments like ted and i watching the

talks online we kind of see these

moments in

as a time stamp we see them as something

that has happened and

we don’t necessarily see them move

forward but you have had such a clear

movement through you know progress with

what’s happening

now for the audience watching you’ve got

two very simple actions that can help

but also a message

of hope and support around the build you

want to share those

now yeah thank you jamie um i think

everyone can relate to this and agree

that we are in a time where

everything just feels like bad news

everything feels so dark and so gloomy

but i just want to share with everyone

who’s watching this my little bit of

hope is that

you can actually make a difference and

it takes five seconds to sign a petition

it takes just you know five minutes to

write

an email to your mp to ask them to get

behind this

and this is something that we should

take as urgency so i would ask you

two very straightforward actions watch

my talk

share the petition actually a third one

to add

um contact your mp it’s very easy to

find out who your mp is and

it’s a really really straightforward

thing to do explain

why this is an issue and i think

watching my talk and actually learning

about this issue

you will learn about the devastating

effects that this can have on girls

lives and

you know we’re talking millions there

are millions of girls that are

at risk of this or that are already

victims of child marriage and

i think we can all say that you know

what we’re going through globally the

pandemic

this is only going to heighten this

issue so

i’m really urging anybody who is

watching we don’t need to wait and see

the

you know the effects of covid on this

issue we need to act

now and we need to reach out to decision

makers and take responsibility for

the girls around us the children around

us and do something about this

so that’s my call to action for you guys

who are watching at home

and i would really really appreciate

that absolutely because i think

what’s so in what’s so important and

inspirational here is that

you know you you didn’t have to do this

you know i think that’s really important

with marginalized stories is we often

feel like we have to share them

for people to listen but you have taken

your story and

taken the autonomy behind that decision

to share

that with the world what advice would

you give to people that

want to do this with their story they

want to get into a position where

you know they want to change something

like what one piece of advice would you

give those people

jeremy this is such a good question

because for 10 years

even longer after all of my experiences

i just thought sharing my story who

would want to listen and i remember in

the beginning of my talk i often felt

like this who would want to listen to my

story

so i think for anybody who has us and we

all have stories everybody has a story

for anybody who wants to share with the

world their story

don’t ever think even just for a second

that your story doesn’t matter because

it does matter and

it can change somebody’s life when i

tell you it literally

it brings me to tears when i have people

contacting me from

you know where i was born in kurdistan

from every corner of the world from

pakistan

young girls saying to me that they want

to learn more about this and they want

to engage in these conversations and

you know it just makes you realize that

even for a second when you doubt your

own truth and your own story

just remember your story matters so much

and

yes it’s scary but what isn’t and you

know just think about

actually how far you can get from

sharing or i would have never thought in

a million years that

it can have the impact and i’m so glad

that you know i

went through this experience well you

are a shiny example of that

you know you you are

an example of how that can happen so

again i’m just very happy that you’re

here to share

to share that now finally behind the

public work

behind you know the fight

and like i find this such an interesting

question but like how are you

like how what personal support do you

feel like you have

because it’s really important that you

have that and i

you know i want we want to know that

you’re okay

thank you i’m sure this is something you

can relate to i think the work that we

do

you know it can have um a lot of effects

on your mental and

you know emotional well-being so i i

think in the beginning i felt so much

responsibility to

take everything on and you know always

reply to people and

do everything i can and i do feel

responsible however

i’ve realized the importance and

actually making sure i look after myself

so

i do have incredible support around me

you know i have my life partner my close

friends

i have supporters out there who support

what i’m doing and that means a lot to

me

um so i i do make sure to take care of

myself and

you know as a result of my talk i’ve

actually

taken a huge step into the career that

i’m in now so i work with icro who are

you know doing everything they can to

support girls like me and

i’ve managed to actually take that step

so i’m doing well thank you for asking

you’re more than welcome more than

welcome and i think you’ve always got

the support of your tedx family you’ve

always got us

rallying behind you any given moment it

has been

my absolute pleasure to have you here

thank you so much

to paisymamood now make sure that you

check out

all of the bits and bobs on our social

so you can get behind

the campaign and the bill thank you so

much

you