Overthrowing Patriarchy to become an IAS Officer

[Music]

as a child

i remember having read the famous poem

stopping by woods on a snowy evening

by robert frost and the last para which

i am sure

many of you know and remember but i

should reiterate it here again

the votes are lovely dark and deep

but i have promises to keep and miles to

go before i sleep

and miles to go before i sleep over the

years

i have ingrained these values

and realize that one has to keep walking

one has to reach a destination

and one has to continue that rhythm of

life so friends let me begin by

mentioning about my story in brief

i would like to take you all to early

2000s

i come from a small town called panipat

in haryana

most of you would know that haryana has

so many positives to its credit

but we also have had the issue of being

a state

which has been predominantly patriarchal

the societal ecosystem expects the

females to performing the traditional

roles

of being a housewife or a homemaker or

at the maximum

undertake jobs which allows them to

justify the domestic front

fully this was an odd which i was also

facing during my childhood

and education days being brought up in a

middle class household

dreams tend to shrink and one may not

aim too high

from career point of view i had thought

i would join

private sector and follow the

traditional path of my family

but here i would like to share how i

decided to join civil services

i came across civil services during my

third year of graduation in sriram

college of commerce delhi university

i was already doing cs along with my

become honors

but the failing to do something for

society and choose a platform

by which i can contribute towards the

welfare of the people and society

was backing me from my subconscious and

it was my inner drive

which actually pushed me to attempt for

repairing civil services

the opportunity it gives to connect with

the masses and society and to work for

your nation

that opportunity my friends is

unparalleled

when i discuss this idea with my parents

they had all those little apprehensions

the all india services are cardo based

they were worried about service card

family life etc

but then when we had a dialogue they

finally agreed

but my father suggested me to have a

fallback career option

therefore i decided to do llp from delhi

university after my cs was over

then i started preparation for civil

services

also in the year 2004 and i also started

my job as

cs on a part-time basis in 2004 itself

so from 2004 to 2007 these three things

were moving

simultaneously in my life focus was on

civil services preparation

i was also doing llb which was a regular

course from dell university and i was

also doing my part-time job

those were the days of struggle various

choices to be made

various sacrifices to be made a kind of

self-quarantined life wherein i was

committed to my own self

i completed my llp in 2007

and i got selected into civil services

in my second attempt in 2008 with all

india ranked 13th

friends the support of my family has

been the crucial reason

and it enabled me to challenge the

prevailing societal ecosystem

then and even now i became

the first one in my family to join civil

services

and despite of me being cs llb i shifted

from corporate sector

to government to serve the nation and

society

also i am fortunate i am blessed to have

a very supportive husband

and my kids have been very much

supportive

now many of you might be assuming that

once you are selected into the ies

life becomes smooth and you attain

everything under the sun

but my friends let me tell you it was

just a beginning

of all together new challenges new

opportunities

many of which i did not even anticipate

earlier

starting from my training in 2008

my life started changing labasana

masoori

which i joined for training in september

2008

was the first hostel for me in my life

after training another challenge

came to me when the carters were

allocated

i got empty carter and was allotted

state of tripura

i joined there in june 2009 a beautiful

state

in the northeastern part of our country

having different

language different culture customs

have been different food habits and

issue of connectivity to an extent

but i took it as an opportunity of

learning new experiences

i learned bengali language i tried

adapting to their culture to their

customs

to their food habits and mingled with

the people

all this helped me during my initial

stint of more than seven years from 2009

to 2016. if i look back the day

when i clear out civil services and the

day

which i face today in bureaucracy has

been

full of experiences learnings both in

tripura and haryana

but i feel that there are various

factors which affect the public service

delivery like the political will

influences public expectations

limitations in infrastructure

in forms of resources both human and

financial

frequent transfers press from media and

the kind of connect which we have with

the citizens especially after the

digital interventions and e-governance

so there are a lot of dynamics and

equations which ultimately

affect our working and decision making

however

it is very important that rather than

giving up

we stand upright and give

our honest efforts with conviction

and determination friends i would like

to share

one example of my initial days of

posting

how i try to connect with the people

as my first posting in 2010 i was posted

as

sj ambassador in the district

a predominantly tribal village malda

para was one of the remotest

villages of the subdivision and there

were issues of connectivity

but through the regular intervention of

administration

the active support of bsf and youth we

could mobilize the working of

departments like

school anganwadi center primary health

center etc

and similar initiatives we continued

when i was admin collector

so i tried to make people overcome the

odds which they were facing in their

daily lives

but i would also mention here that it

indirectly helped me to develop my

personality

to understand the issues with more

maturity and become

a effective administrator

challenges continued along with my

professional growth

in 2016 i came to haryana on inter

cardio deportation

it was professionally a new slate for me

but my work experience at faridabad guru

gram

has been quite varied and diverse the

odds actually compel you

to learn and perform friends

many people do ask me whether i feel any

prejudice or bias or challenges

as a woman administrator or is there any

discrimination with respect

to the role as male and female

bureaucrat

well i would say from my last 12 to 13

years of

experience in government there is no

such inherent bias against a woman

administrator but

yes we cannot deny that there are

certain

issues which i would rather say

occupational hazards

revolving more around women than men

i feel that still certain postings are

considered more appropriately to be

headed by mail officers there’s always a

doubt of the people

in the ecosystem around you in your work

delivery capabilities in your

commitments which compels the women

officers to keep on proving themselves

constantly

many a times for lady officers their

family

and career progress is not in tandem

and may be rather non-harmonious with

each other

but ultimately it is the act of balance

which matters

i firmly believe that efforts to bring

in gender parity

in society need to be taken by all i’ve

always tried to take

such initiatives during my various

postings at tripura haryana and even

today

from my own example i can share that i

became the first lady

ceo or the commissioner of agatha

municipal council way back in 2012

the first lady district magistrate and

collector of bonti district tripura

in 2014 first ceo

of faridaba smart city limited in 2016

and first lady ceo of gm cbl city bus

gurugram in 2020

very recently a very important

reflection

for all of us you know so how have we

been able to face an art collectively

and how we overcame it is a response by

all of us

the response by humanity to covet 19.

india and the world today face

unprecedented challenge

in form of kobit 19. this

odd or the crisis inflicted

us and affected us all in many ways

however did we give up no we did not

give up we strive to explore

we strive to experiment to analyze and

find out a way out of this

we stood against the odd and today we

have derived the cure the vaccine

still the fight is not over and we are

moving forth

so my dear friends what do we do finally

how do we face the odd

it’s very important that you identify

what drives you

identify your purpose the courage

and persistence to keep going on is

powered by your own purpose

keep reminding yourself why you started

it in first place

and what drives you to keep moving

against all odds it is very much

important

that you have few attributes which i

believe are

determination tenacity focus

will power positive attitude friends i’m

sure many of us have seen those

determined ants

walking relentlessly and with division

focus

often we do not have a plan of you know

how

would we be facing an odd or challenge

or an adversity but we must plan

it is very important to have a

response matrix which would be giving

you options

so which we actually term a scenario

building

now what are the possible scenarios and

what is the response matrix

ask yourself three questions what is the

best that can happen

what is the worst that can happen what

is most likely to happen

so if the best happens you would be

extremely happy and satisfied

if the worst happens you are prepared

for it and you will face it

and if most likely the thing which you

thought of it happens you will accept it

with

contentment over the years you know as a

student

and as an ies officer i have felt

that we face challenge

but it is very important to determine

how do we respond

either we sink or we swim

for me sinking has never been an option

so swimming is the only way out in order

to

swim i have created a framework in my

mind which i call

n-o-e-n-n-o endure

negotiate navigate overcome

i reiterate the points here begin with

the end in your mind

identify your burning purpose recognize

the importance of today

avoid delays time is of the essence

perseverance is very important

keep doing and doing it have someone in

life for mentorship

seek help i am sure most of the

youngsters have the potential to excel

they are very confident

but sometimes seeking help is also very

important

be open to learning even though you may

know many things around you

but may not know everything under the

sun

friends keep reminding yourself of what

drives you

identify your path and achieve your

goals with your own strength

determination

consistent efforts let me

ask you if a tiger was chasing you i am

sure

you will not be looking for a

motivational speaker to guide you

what you will do you will instantly run

so we can all hear motivational speeches

and read motivational books we want

even i do that but does it end there

no things are incomplete until you

do it doing is most essential until you

practice what you know

you won’t be able to achieve what you

want in life so

be prepared to run and run fast in the

end i would mention a pros which i

always recall

love what you do and do what you love