The Possibility of Cognitive Kindness

[Music]

imagine you’ve been diagnosed with a

serious illness

perhaps even a life-threatening one

you’re scheduled for a series of

appointments on the same day for some

lab work and scans and then to see a

specialist

you navigate your way through traffic

finding the correct parking garage and

then a parking spot

now how to get to your first appointment

you make your way through a maze of

hallways and eventually find the waiting

room

you’re given various forms to complete

with details of your medical history and

other information primary care

physicians name

address and phone number previous

hospitalizations and surgeries if any

with dates and hospitals is all of this

information

really needed and needed right now at

last it’s your turn for the actual lab

work and scans

and then you find your way to the

doctor’s office more forms to complete

much of the same information as before

and then you wait

and wait you wonder if there’s time to

grab something to eat

but decide you’d better stay put you’re

so hungry

eventually you’re called in and the

nurse asks about your medical history

again after answering still more

questions the doctor arrives

she describes your test results and what

they mean

unfortunately the medical evidence isn’t

clear on a best course of treatment she

says

and goes on to describe several possible

options

you do your best to understand and

remember what she’s telling you

it’s a lot of information including some

that seems to conflict with what you

read about online

do you have questions she asks you ask

the ones you’ve written down in advance

then you try to review what she just

told you to figure out if you have any

others

you also realize there’s no way you’ll

be back in time for that scheduled

meeting or for dinner

and that you need to find a moment to

let your colleagues and your family know

the doctor says they can get you

scheduled for next steps depending on

which treatment you decide to pursue

you’re not sure whether to laugh to cry

or to actually try to make a decision

some years ago i was in a similar

situation

there were tears uncertainty and

confusion

the decisions to be made seemed so

daunting and so important

with no clear recommendation from the

doctor i needed to make them and yet my

thinking felt so muddled

even basic information processing felt

challenging

let alone more complex decision-making

compare that with my daughter and her

friends who at the time were as

inquisitive as three-year-olds can be

their minds were generating new and

elaborate ideas

stories and conjectures at a seemingly

astounding rate

imagining and discovering all sorts of

possibilities

and my mind in the midst of those

critical medical decisions it felt so

very far away from that not incapable

and yet incapable

reflecting on that time and others since

i’ve often wondered how we might

redesign

systems and processes how we might

reimagine

relationships and interactions in ways

that help us all to think more easily

clearly

and effectively because good thinking

deep nuanced and creative thinking is

arguably

what we need most it’s what personal

problems organizational issues and

complex societal challenges all demand

and it’s what we neglect at our peril

crises such as the pandemic have only

made that all the more clear

in my field the birth of modern day

cognitive psychology

is often referred to as the cognitive

revolution

that revolution elevated the study of

thought within the field

of psychology we need nothing short of a

new cognitive revolution

one that elevates thinking not just

within a field of study

but within our lives a revolution

centered on what i call cognitive

kindness

so what is cognitive kindness let’s

start with kindness

when people talk about kindness they

often mention generosity

and helping others without expecting

anything in return

they speak of empathy compassion care

and even love

cognitive refers to all that our minds

can do

including our amazing abilities to

reason and understand

to imagine and create to dream and

design

to envision and enact cognitive kindness

then

is about bringing generosity and caring

to how we treat one another’s thinking

it’s about being kind to minds

it’s a radically different form of

kindness one that’s powerfully informed

by research

and what it reveals about how our minds

work

and so it’s kindness that’s more likely

to be powerfully effective

cognitive kindness is about

intentionally approaching what we do

with one another’s thinking as a key

consideration

perhaps as the key consideration rather

than as an afterthought

something taken for granted or something

entirely ignored

at its best cognitive kindness not only

recognizes

but respects liberates and empowers the

full cognitive potential of others

it’s pretty striking in fact we seem to

recognize the importance of treating

resources such as money and time with

care

not that we always do we need only look

at some of our purchases

or the amount of time we spend in

meetings to realize that

and yet we aren’t particularly attentive

to or even

aware of how we spend our own and others

mental resources even education

the arena supposedly dedicated to

thinking and learning and what is

possible

fails in many ways to prioritize the

cognitive resources and potential

of students teachers and staff and yet

our minds may be our most precious and

powerful resource of all

kindness then being kind to minds can be

the difference between whether we

as individuals and societies fail or

flourish how might we translate this

principle

into action first it’s worth noting that

when aiming to be kind to someone else’s

mind

it’s important to proceed from an

accurate understanding of how thinking

actually works

an understanding centered on scientific

evidence

in all its details and possibilities

that’s a tall order

but it turns out many of us bring some

valuable intuitions

ones at least somewhat aligned with the

research evidence

to the task for example research

demonstrates resoundingly that there are

limits to the number of things our minds

can work effectively with

at any given time and while we may be

a bit deluded about exactly what that

limit is

most of us at least realize that some

limit exists

that’s a useful starting point that we

can expand on

we might envision our minds as gardens

in which a variety of ideas and

imaginings can take root and flourish

and what influences and grows in these

gardens goes beyond the purely

intellectual

research tells us that our physical

abilities our social interactions

and our emotions all depend on and

impact our mental life

they too are part of the garden a garden

is not unbounded

there’s limited land nutrients and water

to go around

yet with care and intention to the

timing and distribution of those

resources

we can cultivate a thriving and

sustainable ecosystem

an ecosystem of ideas that nourish each

other while offering

fertile ground for new possibilities by

reducing unnecessary demands on our

cognitive resources we essentially

eradicate

invasive weeds that would otherwise

usurp space

nutrients and sunlight and we liberate

those resources

instead toward thoughts and ideas that

might bear fruit

or enrich the soil even this single

understanding gives rise to a number of

ways to be more cognitively kind

let’s return to the hospital to see how

that might work

the hospital is a pretty important

context one where

life and death decisions are being made

and one where ideally everyone’s

thinking is at its best

and yet our current systems and

processes don’t necessarily facilitate

that

for patients and families or for that

matter for doctors nurses and other

hospital staff

what if someone parked your car for you

as a matter of course

or if a parking spot were reserved for

you based on your schedule of

appointments

what if someone greeted you directly at

the hospital entrance and asked what you

might need help with

what if you were provided more

information about what to expect in

advance

or asked to supply only the information

that was truly necessary

and the doctor actually had time to

carefully consider it before your

appointment

what if information were shared more

effectively across offices and hospitals

what if the layout of the hospital

itself were more helpful to your

processing and navigating

i’ve been to a hospital branch that’s

housed in what was formerly a shopping

mall

preserving that basic layout think about

the configuration and goals of a typical

shopping mall

it’s open with high visibility of what’s

available not to mention often

pretty ample parking right remarkably

different from a maze of parking garages

and winding hallways

right more cognitively kind

right what if tasks were allocated or

reconfigured so that your doctor could

direct her attention to you

rather than to typing what you’re saying

into the computer medical record system

what if your doctors and nurses had

schedules that actually allowed for

sufficient and regular

sleep meals and breaks not to mention

the mental energy and space to think not

only about what to tell you

but how to tell you of course these are

just a few suggestions some better than

others even in this one context there

are many more possibilities for

cognitive kindness

just as there are many ways to free up

nutrients and space in a garden

there are many ways to liberate mental

resources for

others including presenting information

in a way that’s easier to understand

restructuring a task

reassigning a responsibility eliminating

a task entirely

or perhaps even relaxing expectations

and standards

imagine that and there are even more

possibilities because freeing up

cognitive resources isn’t the only way

to be

cognitively kind in fact we’ve really

only scratched the surface here

considering just

one research finding and in very general

terms at that

research reveals so much more that can

be creatively marshaled toward cognitive

kindness

thinking can also be eased and improved

by making it more accurate

more efficient more creative more

thorough more expansive

research tells us that sometimes this

might involve

giving people more information to

process requiring more time

and encouraging more thinking not less

what’s more cognitively kind may vary

across circumstances and individuals

in part due to differences in goals

personalities knowledge

and other factors and yet the

fundamental assertions

of cognitive kindness are clear and

unwavering

first our cognitive abilities and

resources are among

our most valuable assets and second

each of us has the power and

responsibility

to prioritize the thinking of others in

what we do

and design fundamentally

cognitive kindness is more than any

single act

it’s a philosophy that elevates the

value of our minds and the possibilities

they represent

it asks us to consider what we do in the

context of how it affects the ability of

others

to use their minds as fully as they wish

toward what they wish cognitive kindness

reminds us that

true inclusivity is more than simply

offering someone a seat at the table it

requires

intentionally designed interactions

processes and spaces that actually

empower each person’s full cognitive

potential

it’s about no less than cognitive

justice

kindness orients us to others returning

to the hospital

what is it like to be a patient who is

perhaps also

a wife mother daughter sister friend

and teacher navigating her way through

multiple options

multiple forms financial considerations

and emotions

amidst the myriad other aspects of her

life

and what about the doctors and nurses

who put their all into caring for

patients and whose lives

encompass so much more beyond the

hospital walls

from everyday tasks like laundry and

meals

to more challenging matters such as

parenting and the physical and mental

health of their own families

not to mention navigating possible bias

and discrimination that can turn even

common everyday decisions like where and

when to go for a run

into life and death ones what

information is each person trying to

process and juggle

cognitive kindness urges us to find out

or at least imagine

and then to use that understanding to

facilitate the thinking of others

what cognitive kudzu can we eradicate or

prevent from even taking root in the

first

place what soil can we clear or amend

what might we shift to another garden

how might we let more light in

cognitive kindness also encourages us to

seek a deeper

more accurate understanding of how minds

in general work

that’s incredibly valuable knowledge in

and of itself

says the cognitive psychologist

especially because some of our

intuitions about how our thinking works

are pretty far off the mark and so we

highlight the importance

of continued research and of effective

communication

cognitively kind communication of what

that research reveals

in fact we might ask ourselves why we

don’t make more of an effort to teach

children and adults about their own

thinking

what might be possible if we did

cognitive kindness is powerfully

generative an investment from one or a

few people to say

take on family meal planning write a

clearer email

reconfigure an organization’s job

responsibilities or design

a national vaccine rollout and

communication plan

can liberate valuable mental energy for

anywhere

from one to tens hundreds or even

thousands of individuals

better thinking by those individuals can

in turn impact many others

and imagine the potential benefit to

collaborative efforts

when each individual brings even

slightly more cognitive capacity to the

table

we find ourselves in a time of

tremendous complexity challenge and

opportunity

significant long-standing issues such as

climate change systemic racism and

poverty

call out for our very best ideas and

thinking

clearly our cognitive resources

individual and collective have never

mattered more

and so cognitive kindness being kind to

one another’s minds

becomes in essence an imperative a

responsibility

how much of a difference can any single

act of cognitive kindness really make

a single act of cognitive kindness might

just free up

enough resources to facilitate the

sprouting of a seed

the birth of an idea and as ted and tedx

themselves highlight

ideas and their transformative power can

spread

what idea what ideas might a single

seemingly small act of cognitive

kindness enable

and it’s not just ideas that are

valuable even a

bit of liberated cognitive capacity

might mean

a better decision about a medical

treatment made an

accident avoided a sunset noticed and

appreciated

a parent more fully present with a child

let’s start that next cognitive

revolution one that applies an evolving

understanding of how our minds work

in ways that help each of us move toward

greater presence

creativity and insight across all

aspects of our lives

and society health care education voting

taxes meetings communication parenting

relationships everyday interactions and

more

what might be possible if we’re each

more cognitively kind

let’s find out