Life Beyond Suicide as a Teenager.

[Music]

suicide

what does that word mean to you

for me i think the 14th of april 2018

the day i attempted suicide

i’ve come through that chapter in my

life and i’m finally ready to share my

story

i would love if this inspired or helped

someone

but i’d be happy even if it just made

you think for a second

i didn’t like what my life was like in

my second year of secondary school

i didn’t have many friends and i felt

distant from my family

i hated it and i turned that hatred on

myself

i hated my hair my voice my body pretty

much everything about me

and on the 13th of april 2018

i got a bad test result that’s it

such a mundane thing and i’m sure every

one of you here has gotten one

but to me it just felt so big

and that combined with my severe

self-image issues

just got bigger and bigger in my head

until i broke i decided i was going to

kill myself

and so the following day i took a

handful of pills and went to sleep

it was the worst decision i’ve ever made

and waking up the next morning was the

best thing that ever happened to me

i was hoping that if i did wake up i

would be

fixed whatever that means

it isn’t that easy it isn’t just the

snap of a fingers and all better it

takes time and it’s hard

so i started

my aunt told me something that i’d like

all of you here today to try

she told me pick five things you like

about yourself and two things you don’t

when i first did this i couldn’t even

get to five things i liked

but i could definitely think of the

things i didn’t like

and it got better i could think more and

i can think of more and more things i

liked about myself

and i’m not going to say i started to

love the bad or something cliche like

that

my aunt told me change the parts you

don’t like

and i’m not saying go around changing

your personality to fit in with a group

of friends

but for instance i didn’t like my leg

hair

and she said just shave it

and i felt so empowered i finally had a

choice and i could choose

to help myself

obviously i wasn’t better because i

liked myself more i went to therapy

i went to two government and charity

funded organizations called lucina

hampieda house

they helped me so much

i was on the wait list for lucina four

months

and i left after only two months and

that’s okay

it’s always okay to leave therapy

whether

the therapist might suit you or you just

aren’t ready

and from then on i worked on and with

myself

and look of where i am now i’m happy

genuinely happy and this story

my story is not a sad story

because i’m here today

so this isn’t happily ever after

but it is happy thank you

[Music]

you