3 Keys to Virtual Connection

[Music]

you may think

virtual events are boring draining and a

poor substitute for the real thing

and unfortunately for many of today’s

events you’d be right

what we often refer to as zoom fatigue

is actually just an excuse for poorly

designed and facilitated zoom

gatherings that make audiences want to

check out and drop off

but it doesn’t have to be that way what

if people left your virtual event

feeling

energized nourished and part of a

community

to take it one step further what if

connecting online

could be just as good and in some ways

even better

than connecting in person for the last

20 years i’ve led interactive in-person

events for tens of thousands of people

around the world

and trained people how to lead those

kind of events

then when covent 19 hit my entire

business model crumbled

and i was forced to question my own

assumptions

after a few weeks of mourning i decided

it would be far more exciting to prove

myself wrong than to wait around for in

person to be possible again

so i shifted my mindset and i started

asking

how can we take these two-dimensional

technological platforms designed for

information dissemination

and leverage them as powerful vehicles

for authentic

human connection i can tell you from

experience now

leading virtual trainings and scaling

intimacy with thousands of people that

it is totally

possible as long as you’re willing to do

one thing prioritize connection

over content yes i am asking you to

scale back on content

just a little bit if your participants

are coming

only for content they can watch the

recording later

at one and a half times the speed if you

want people to show up

live then one of the best incentives you

can offer them

is the opportunity to connect to other

participants

at in-person events these connections

often happen by serendipity like waiting

in line for the restroom or the lunch

line

or who you sit next to at the keynote

but online

we have to create opportunities for

connection on purpose

or else we risk that it will not happen

at all

and while we know that engaging our

audience is

critical connection is actually your

most effective

engagement strategy because then we’re

accountable to someone else

and we’re much less likely to be

multitasking

so here are three connection strategies

that you can use to shift your audience

from being passive observers to being

active participants

and to create a culture of belonging in

your virtual events

our first strategy is to connect early

because the beginning sets the tone for

everything to come you never have a

second chance to make a first impression

so you want to make sure that connection

is a priority

right away imagine arriving at a virtual

session

there is silence a static slide with a

countdown clock and the chat has been

disabled

what impression would this give you it

would probably feel

impersonal informational and unengaging

now imagine arriving to a virtual

session to a gallery view

and a sea of friendly faces including

the facilitator

each person is being greeted by name

there’s upbeat instrumental music

playing in the background

and an opening prompt to answer in the

chat like what’s a quote that

inspires you or what has been the

highlight of your week

the facilitator launches a poll to find

out what everyone is hoping to get out

of the session

they invite you to change your screen

name to something personal like a

nickname

a place in nature that relaxes you or

your favorite movie

all of these small things add up to one

big thing

a feeling of being welcomed and

acknowledged as individuals

and as a community and that connection

matters

our second strategy is to connect often

so maybe you did connect early with an

opening prompt or an icebreaker so you

think you can check it off your list

but as we know relationships and

community take time to build

so it’s important that connection is a

thread that’s woven throughout your

event with a number of touch points

these touch points don’t have to be long

but you do want them to happen

often ideal times for connection

are in the beginning as we’ve discussed

after a break or a meal

right before you close and any time you

feel the energy beginning to dip

now oftentimes we get stuck in a false

dichotomy thinking we have to choose

between connection

and content but you can absolutely have

both

my favorite way to do this is with a

debrief after a

presentation a panel or a speaker and in

the debrief you are combining connection

and content

by posing a question for participants to

discuss that helps them integrate

and reflect on what they just learned or

experienced

our third strategy is to gradually

increase vulnerability

we want people to open not close

so we have to ease them into a state of

vulnerability

rather than asking them about the most

embarrassing moment of their lives in

the first five minutes

of our session so some of you may be

familiar with the famous article the 36

questions that will make you fall in

love with anyone

it was actually based on a research

study about platonic relationships

the main thing the researchers found

about establishing

a relationship among peers is that it

has to be

sustained escalating reciprocal

personal self-disclosure so let’s break

that down

sustained connecting often

escalating gradually increasing

reciprocal everyone is doing it it’s not

one-sided

and it’s personal self-disclosure so

you’re revealing something about

your humanity beyond your title your

role or your status

my favorite activity for practicing

gradually increased vulnerability

is a classic one called if you really

knew me you’d know

and in this activity you get people

together in pairs or trios and have them

finish that sentence stem multiple times

if i were to answer that sentence stem

right now it would be something like

if you really knew me you’d know that

i’m eight months pregnant

and a first-time mom to be if you really

knew me

you’d know being pregnant in a pandemic

has been pretty

isolating and sometimes really sad

if you really knew me you know that it’s

been

an arduous five-year fertility journey

to even get here

and that it took me a while to trust

that it was really happening this time

so notice your feelings of connection to

me

right now what are the emotions the

thoughts

the associations or the memories that

come up for you

and imagine now that it’s your turn what

would you be

inspired to share

so that feeling of connection that

you’re maybe having right now

is just the tip of the iceberg of what’s

possible

with virtual events if you apply

the three strategies connect early

connect

often and gradually increase

vulnerability you will be

well on your way to leading

life-changing events

in any medium as participants

it’s time that we demand that these sit

and listen paradigms change

so that prioritizing human connection

becomes the new norm

as the world goes virtual it’s what we

need now

more than ever