HOW TO ACTIVATE COURAGE

[Music]

just gave

birth exactly

two months ago

and i am here

i am super grateful to the healthcare

heroes

who took such good care of us

and i am happy that my baby is healthy

especially since she was in my belly

during the peak of the pandemic

last year there wasn’t much data to

inform how

you know what impacts moms and their

fetuses

i wrestled with questions like is it

safe for me to get pregnant now

and if i do will i jeopardize my baby’s

growth and development

and what if no one’s allowed to be with

me during delivery

my long list of worries grew and grew

and grew until it mutated into this big

scary bully trying to push me around

but the bully was a disguise for

something i knew very well fear

fear of catching cold-hearted corona

fear of being far from my family during

my vulnerable time

and fear of hurting my unborn baby

while it would have been so easy to let

this bully take

me down i connected with something

inside of myself far more mighty than

fear and that was

my courage

interesting fact the cur and courage

comes from

latin which means heart

courage comes from the heart courage

matters

because every day we all have to do big

and little things we’ve never done

before despite the unknowns

so in a world where fears can instantly

show up and catch us off guard there’s

one question that stays with me

how do we call in courage right before

turning 30 i had an experience with

courage it changed my life i was anxious

and afraid because i was unemployed

pregnant with my first child waiting for

the bank to approve my first home and

trying out entrepreneurship as a new

life coach

in the past my fears would pile up on

turn to that conventional wisdom

feel your fears and face them anyway but

that wasn’t working

i was stuck in the mud because my fears

were too much to feel and face all at

once

i needed another way to get my hands on

courage

so how’d i do that i got curious

i wanted to know what exactly did my

courage look like

and how could i make it available to me

when i needed it most

my curiosity eventually led me to my

very own coaching toolkit

and in there i remembered metaphors

metaphors are magical because they are

powerful tools that can help you make

meaning of emotions that might otherwise

be difficult to understand

during my digging i discovered my

metaphor for courage

she has kind brown eyes rocks ruby red

lipstick and adorns gold bangles

she also rides a lion or a tiger

depending on the day

and she holds a weapon in each hand

all eight of them who is she

there she is one of the fiercest warrior

goddesses

and mothers in hinduism her name is

durga

ma this image comes to me from a

postcard i picked up

a decade earlier when i was studying

abroad in india at the time i didn’t

think anything of it but

fast forward to me all up in my fears

she showed

up durga was also much more than a

picture

she had this dynamic energy and she also

had something to say

when i tuned into my heart to listen i

heard her

say this

i am here with you the courage

power and strength you need is inside of

you with me

i got your back you are

more than enough and you

are not alone

i was blown away first of all i didn’t

know that warrior goddesses could talk

second of all

i didn’t think i was worthy of such an

empowering message

and if she could talk to me did that

mean i could talk to her

there was only one way to find out i

needed to talk to

my courage so that year i began to speak

to dordog both in my head and out loud

and whenever i spoke to her

she spoke back even during the times

when i was

too shaken up to reach out she’d come

through for example

when i was in the hospital and over 12

hours of labor with my son

i learned that he was in distress and i

got really scared

what if something were to happen to me

in the operating room

and what if my son didn’t bounce back

from the nicu

amidst my anesthesia i heard her say

you’ll both be fine

that assurance meant everything to me

because it gave me the mental strength i

didn’t even know i had to persevere

during one of the scariest times

of my life

now i want to invite you to try

something with me sit back

relax and let’s color outside the lines

for a minute

take a nice deep breath

close your eyes and tune into your heart

imagine your courage

what does your courage look like

don’t overthink just roll with whatever

emerges

there’s no right or wrong and it doesn’t

matter who or what you believe in

your courage is gonna show up the way it

looks and feels true

for you

now take another deep breath

stay tuned into your heart and this time

listen carefully

does your courage make a sound

if so who or what does it sound like

is there an energy to it what does your

courage

feel like

pay attention to whatever rises

and if you feel compelled to talk back

to it you can simply whisper

thanks let’s catch up later

when you’re done take a nice deep breath

to come back

and as you’re coming back i want to

thank you

and acknowledge how courageous you are

for

trying this out and stepping into the

unknown just for a little bit

again there’s no right or wrong this is

just a chance for you to picture the

possibilities as it relates

to communicating and connecting with

your courage

by the way i still talk to dorca till

this day she encouraged me to wear these

red sneakers with my black dress because

my postpartum feet cannot fit dress

shoes anymore

she also helped me build up the bravery

to voice my truth

and for me where i come from that’s huge

because if my

ancestors who were exploited by

colonizers

if they dared to stand up for themselves

they were punished in

unthinkable ways connecting with my

courage in this way also helps me tap

into something so much greater than

myself

allowing me to think big live big and

impact others in a really

big way as a life coach i have a lot of

conversations with people about their

fears

and it’s through those conversations

that i learned that

they could talk to their courage too one

of my clients

will call him perry he’s a salesman and

every day he’s got to put himself out

there to pay his rent and that can be

scary

so i guided him to tune in just like we

did and

picture his metaphor for courage this

is what he pictured

he’s perry the flying squirrel

but perry wasn’t having it he was not a

fan of free falling in the air

perry needed support and in a panic he

pleaded can you tell me when to pull the

parachute cord already

[Music]

suddenly a voice emerged from his chest

replying

you got this that

was a game changer not only did that

help perry’s

fear start to melt away but he found the

courage to

stop procrastinating launch his online

sales program

and he even left a long toxic

relationship

freeing him up to keep flying squirrel

suit

and all another client of mine will call

her maddie

discovered that a puma was her metaphor

for courage

pumas she was baffled pumas didn’t seem

as valiant as lions and tigers

we had to google the symbolism because

we didn’t know but what we found out was

really interesting

it turns out that pumas are fiercely

protective

wise and clever this made sense to

maddie okay

she could see her puma as a source of

strength to help her overcome the guilt

and the grief that she felt

stepping away from 20 years of

caretaking duties for her parent

maddie’s puma also made a sound

when she leaned in to listen she heard a

familiar voice

it was her cousin who lost her battle to

cancer

this didn’t freak out maddie though in

fact when she felt really anxious about

leaving this era of her life behind to

step into her new chapter

that voice would emerge saying

i didn’t make it but you

can ever since

maddie has embraced her puma she found

the courage to

make new arrangements so that she could

buy a brand new home

move out of state and she’s even

dreaming up her new business opportunity

now i know you might be wondering what’s

up with all these animals

and i’m happy to share that there are

people with other courage metaphors too

some of which ranged from trees

mountains and even the wind

as a mom i couldn’t help but wonder what

this courage activation could look like

for

a child so one evening after bedtime

stories i sat down with my four-year-old

and i asked

baby what does your courage look like

his response hmm

my courage looks like a little red

spider with blue hands and a blue tummy

and he sings his abcs is with me

when i asked him what the spider does

when he’s in the dark because he can get

really scared of the dark

he said mommy when the spider says hi to

i’m not scared anymore

the late english author j.r.r token once

said courage is

found in unlikely places i

couldn’t agree more and i believe that

connecting with our courage

in all its forms whether it’s the flying

squirrel

the puma or the spider is important

so the next time you feel scared

remember that you are more than enough

to access your courage from within

plus when you activate your courage

you encourage someone else to do the

same

take a moment tune into your heart

picture your courage listen to what

it says and don’t hesitate to talk back

to it

once we tune in we can stand up to

bullies

face the dark and confront the unknowns

all while riding lions and tigers

[Applause]