A lesson for parents about raising a creative genius

[Applause]

we all

love a good rebel

harry potter wouldn’t be the hero he

adored had he not ruffled feathers

defied authority and broken a few rules

the same goes for matilda huck finn joe

march

and many more these rebels challenge the

status quo

and are not afraid of getting into a

little trouble

so you can imagine how

thrilled i was the morning i got a phone

call telling me my daughter cammy had

been sent

to the principal’s office

thrilled the wrong word confused upset

embarrassed that’s what i really felt

because no matter how inspiring the

heroes of our stories might be

in real life parents don’t want

rebellious children

we want kids who get straight a’s gold

stars

and lots of awards for good behavior

because we believe

that’s the secret recipe for creating

happy successful

adults so the question is does the world

need

more gold star students or does it need

creative rebels there’s been a lot of

talk about creativity over the past few

decades

we know it’s essential creativity is at

the heart of innovation and without it

society’s become still and progress dies

in fact a recent poll over 1500

ceos found that creativity was the

single best indicator

of future success creativity also has an

impact on mental health

with anxiety and depression on the rise

the creative process

provides us with a flexible empowering

sense of control

that can ease the tension of our modern

world

it’s a natural mood lifter a confidence

builder

and a joyful part of our human

experience

the good news we’re all born creative

nasa scientists conducted a long-term

study and found that 98 percent

of five-year-olds scored at creative

genius levels the bad news

is that by adulthood that number

plummets

to just two percent so what happens to

our creativity

most people will point their fingers at

the school systems after all

we know creative students suffocate in

our factory model of education

while conformity is rewarded

but if schools are killing creativity

they aren’t doing it alone they have an

accomplice

and it’s us the parents full of love

and good intentions we stick with rigid

systems

that smother creativity because

well-behaved kids feel safer

and because no parent wants the

heartbreak of a child

left out left behind or standing out and

left

filled so any warning sign of disruption

is a signal to intervene but there

is no creativity without

disruption bringing something new into

this world whether it’s a thing or an

idea

means first making a mess

and parents we understand this better

than most

i mean have you seen a birth

so gross

but so amazing we know disruption is

sometimes warranted

to create positive change it’s why we

love the stories of heroic rebels

but while creativity is a rebellious act

parenting a rebel still feels

dangerous at just nine years old

my kami is the most creative person i

know

she’s not just artistic she is a problem

solver

she thinks on her feet and is always

making connections

of course that creative spirit also

means she is

not afraid to push back on rules or

boundaries that feel

stifling and that’s precisely what got

her in trouble

15 minutes before i got that dreaded

phone call from her school

cami was playing at recess when a boy

grabbed her from behind

tight my little firecracker broke free

told him to stop and went on her way but

then he did it again

except this time she couldn’t escape

now i don’t know what she was feeling in

that moment but i can imagine my

feelings

how many situations have stopped me in

my tracks

and left me feeling stuck that’s exactly

how i felt as i listened to the woman on

the phone as she described the situation

and it’s these moments where our

creativity

saves us because creativity isn’t

reserved only for the artistic elite

it’s the foundation

of problem solving a necessary skill for

every person on this planet

without creative minds there is no

social change

no new technology and no answers to

life’s big

questions so when that boy grabbed my

daughter for the second time

she went into problem-solving mode

and she used what she had her teeth

not surprisingly it worked as soon as

she bit down

that boy let go and he was punished but

so was kami

the school called to let me know she’d

be spending lunch in the principal’s

office because of their no

violence policy as i listened

to the woman on the phone i felt torn

my desire to please authority and raise

a charming well-behaved

child momentarily quieted

the anger that was stirring inside but i

just kept thinking

what else was she supposed to do give up

submit she had found

a solution to her problem yes it was

disruptive and yes

a non-violent approach would have been

preferred

but what if there isn’t one if

history and recent events have taught us

anything

the solutions we most desperately need

are often born from creative disruption

our world’s biggest challenges require

more

than innovative ideas they demand

each of us to get comfortable with

the uncomfortable to be

rebellious but we’re not

great at teaching our kids that reality

instead we place them on a conveyor belt

that tries to shape them into a model

student

we expect good grades and a long list of

extracurriculars

we praise only the most socially

acceptable behaviors

while hiding any messy bits in the

shadows

our kids are paying attention

they hear how we talk about anyone

who doesn’t fit the mold

they understand not to stir the pot or

drift away from cultural standards

and they know what skills

behaviors and personalities have the

highest value and they have been

calculating their worth by those

standards

since day one

as i pictured my daughter sitting in the

principal’s office

i realized i had a choice i could either

teach her

that following the rules should be her

top priority

or that breaking them is sometimes

necessary

and let’s be honest telling her to just

play nice

would have been easy but what would that

mean for her future

would she be willing to think outside

the box in a similar situation

a more dangerous one would she be

willing

to stand up stand out

no this was my chance not just to

comfort her

but to make sure shame didn’t extinguish

her

creative spark as we sat down after

school i approached the conversation

carefully

do you think the school’s no biting rule

is a good one i asked

yes she said softly so what else could

you have done

she was quiet for a long time

and then finally said i guess i could

have kicked him

we both laughed as she realized there

were not a lot of non-physical

approaches

so we imagined different scenarios we

talked about what she thought was right

and fair

i told her i was on her side glad that

she stood her ground

and her creativity served her well

ten minutes was all it took to mold the

disruption into

a meaningful learning experience

that’s the creative power we have as

parents

while it may take time for our schools

to catch up with our modern world

there is so much we can do right now

to save our kids creativity we can value

courage over grades we can praise

mistakes

celebrate failures and make room

for dissent because if we

really want our kids to succeed we need

them

to stay the creative geniuses they were

born

to be and we do that

by teaching them that sometimes

rebellion is good