Becoming Trauma Sensitive through the Trauma Dance

[Music]

have you ever wondered

if a person can recover after a tragic

event

can we heal or are we forever damaged or

changed

and what about after numerous traumas

is healing possible and

what if anything can we do to help

whether it’s to help others or to help

ourselves

if you’ve asked yourself these questions

you’re not alone

as a licensed psychologist for over 30

years i’ve worked primarily with victims

of trauma

this refers to those who have suffered

the devastating effects

of abuse assaults accidents addictions

death divorce illness injury neglect

natural disasters substance abuse

violence

and more for the last 15 years i’ve had

the privilege

of helping victims of human trafficking

and sexual exploitation

i’ve learned that most every one of us

has or will experience one or more

traumas in our lifetime

research on trauma confirms its

prevalence

one in four u.s children experience some

form of maltreatment

and over one in three girls and one in

seven boys

experience sexual abuse as a minor

according to studies by russell

finkelhorn and others

and over one in three women and one in

four men

are victims of rape physical violence

and or stalking by an intimate partner

reported in a study by black and

associates

forty to fifty percent of marriages

ended divorce

and natural disasters affect thousands

upon thousands of people every year

the comprehensive study on adverse

childhood experiences or

aces reported that one in six people

experienced four or more

and many of the amazing survivors of

abuse and prostitution i know

have shared of having suffered five or

more

of these childhood traumas given the

odds

everyone will experience at least one

but more likely

multiple traumas in their lifetime

overwhelming trauma experiences leave

victims feeling

confused and emotionally unsteady

what helps survivors heal after

horrendous life events

people we need people to help

steady us and as i’ve traveled around

the world

and trained on trauma recovery i share

the following belief

everyone can be part of the healing

process

you don’t have to be a professional

counselor everyone can help

but to help we need to understand trauma

with our head and with our heart

we want to be what i call trauma

sensitive

not just trauma informed we

we need to learn about what trauma is

how it affects people

and what are the common symptoms and

thoughts feelings and behaviors

we call this psycho-education but as we

gain this

head knowledge our heart increases

its capacity to show genuine empathy

and when victims learn about common

trauma responses and reactions

it’s like a burden is lifted and they

experience

normalization and validation or as i

like to say

they realize they’re not alone and

they’re not crazy

with this trauma-sensitive perspective

we can help others more effectively

and help ourselves heal more quickly

well to help us become more trauma

sensitive let me share the trauma dance

i developed this to demonstrate the life

of an individual who’s experienced

multiple traumas it’s an

external expression of an

internal reality

so it all begins with the life of anna

now

while i use a female in this example the

victim could be anyone

she will demonstrate the life of a child

beginning around

age seven life is good and she feels

safe secure and happy

life life

she has just experienced a trauma

it could be any of a number of horrific

life events

such as family violence or sexual abuse

her ability to cope is surpassed by this

overwhelming

unwanted experience she doesn’t know

what to think

what to feel or what to do

she’s overcome with a variety of

emotions

she may feel angry betrayed

confused fearful grief stricken

or guilty all common to those who

suffered a trauma

well slowly the destabilizing effects

decrease

and she begins to heal perhaps weeks

months or years later depending on

whether or not she tells anyone what

happened

and depending on whether or not she has

supportive

caring people in her life

well finally she becomes stable

but she adapts she’s no longer carefree

life life

another trauma perhaps a serious

accident or her parents divorce or the

death of a family member once again

her ability to cope is surpassed by this

overwhelming experience

and like before she doesn’t know what to

think what to feel and what to do

she’s confused and uncertain

again this may go on for weeks months or

years later

depending on her disclosure and her

support system

but also depending on how she

internalizes

the experience because unfortunately

many victims of trauma develop unhealthy

negative thoughts and beliefs

which generally focus on self-blame

eventually she begins to stabilize and

she adapts once again

she’s now more cautious

life life

[Music]

another trauma she’s now a teenager and

perhaps it’s a friend’s suicide or

another incident of sexual abuse

what is she feeling probably fear and

anxiety

along with the usual guilt and shame

what might she be thinking or telling

herself

perhaps such statements as i should have

known better

i’m so stupid i can’t trust anyone

it’s my fault

and what about school how might she be

doing if she was doing well before

now she’s preoccupied with other

concerns her schoolwork

activities and friendships all suffer

many victims of multiple interpersonal

trauma

begin to believe that they deserve what

is happening

they incorporate harmful coping skills

and behaviors

these can include eating disorders lying

stealing perfectionism promiscuity

self-harm substance abuse rebellion

vandalism

and more they’re trying to lessen or

deaden that emotional pain

various research studies by courtois

vanderkolk and others

have found that once a person has been a

victim of interpersonal trauma such as

sexual abuse

they’re more likely to be re-victimized

anna’s life now feels out of control and

she longs for that happiness safety

and security she felt before

these horrible events have changed her

view of

people and safety and trust

she feels helpless and hopeless

self-hatred and self-blame

now she fully embraces this protective

fearful stance she’s hyper vigilant

alert

to everything around her in an effort to

foresee and

possibly prevent the next terror

life life

another trauma she’s now a young adult

and

perhaps it’s a rape or a physical

assault

and before she can regain her footing

again

another trauma perhaps it’s the death of

a parent or a controlling relationship

and as the world spins around her

she responds in one of two ways she

either becomes

that hyper vigilant in a feeble attempt

to fend off

additional hurt and harm and also to

keep people at a distance

or she’s overcome with helplessness and

apathy

she leaned that there’s nothing she can

do and no one that could help

she’s now in this continual state

of instability she’s unable to recover

on her own

this is now her life

can you remember back to when she was

happy and smiling

now her life is full of this internal

conflict and chaos

remember the trauma dance is an external

expression of an internal

reality

this multiplicity of traumas

leads to this instability

which leads to an inability to overcome

victims need help in order to regain

that sense of

safety and security so what can we do

to help whether it’s to help others or

ourselves

let’s return to the trauma dance

so as anna continues to struggle a

caring person comes to attempt to

stabilize her

hopefully anna will allow her to help

but what happens

how is our helper doing instead of

stabilizing anna the helper has now

become unstable

this illustrates what we call vicarious

trauma

that’s the trauma experienced by those

who work with the traumatized

when we hear story after story of grief

sadness sorrow and suffering

we can begin to experience it ourselves

so what if more people come alongside

they’re determined to help alleviate

anna’s chaos

each firmly holding on

does it work the struggle

continues but instead of

grabbing and trying to help her

individually what if they work

together how are they doing

anna now feels more safe stable and

secure

she can focus on life and not just on

surviving

when the helpers work together in unity

they’re able to support anna more safely

and effectively

see as helpers we need to work with

others to share the load and to guard

against vicarious trauma

and as victims we need to allow others

to help we need to surround ourselves

with as many caring supportive people as

possible

whether it’s friend or family co-worker

or counselor

professional pastor priest or neighbor

with safe people healing becomes

possible

and possibilities become reality

so what do you do if you don’t have a

team

well let’s look at one more scenario

we return to anna when she’s overwhelmed

this time however a caring person comes

just to be present

she knows that she can’t stabilize anna

physically and emotionally on her own

she listens she provides

non-judgmental and unconditional

encouragement

anna slowly begins to open up

see research confirms that emotional

healing increases with the presence of a

supportive caring person

in the victim’s life sometimes

the emotionally wounded just needs

someone to be there

not to fix anything or to do or to say

anything

their presence gives us the space we

need to heal

i’ve never regretted helping someone in

need whether

by myself or with others and i’ve never

forgotten the kindness of others

during dark difficult times in my own

life

to answer our original questions

is healing possible

yes i’ve had the

privilege to witness emotional healing

in the lives of those who’ve been

coerced and controlled beaten and

battered

used abused and sold how i wish i could

share of those who’ve recovered and even

flourished after traumas and studies on

human resilience abound

inspiring us with stories of wounded

people

who’ve overcome overwhelming

circumstances

the survivors the overcomers

the thrivers

can you help yes

you’ve gained head knowledge about

trauma and how it affects people

and you’ve hopefully gained more heart

empathy

you are becoming trauma sensitive

you can help others more effectively and

help yourself more readily

for the despairing and downtrodden

you can help ignite hope

you