A Pen and Paper creating Bonds

one evening

me and my dad were scrolling through the

tedx app to find a talk we could watch

together

as we look through the variety of talks

i noticed quite a number on parenting

how to raise successful kids what would

you tell your daughters about 2016

there was nothing about children a

child’s perspective on this

a child’s perspective on not getting the

right parenting

this caught my attention as a few weeks

ago i attended a swimming class

a group swimming class during the

swimming class

while we waited for our coach one of the

children brought up the topic on why the

others do swimming

seven out of the ten children had the

exact same answer

my parents forced me to they said their

parents forced them to do swimming

and they don’t like doing swimming so

they might have a chance to get a sports

scholarship

but why didn’t they tell the children

why don’t the children tell their

parents that they didn’t like doing

swimming

it’s not right that the children can’t

talk to their parents

it’s not what my 2020 vision had in mind

i am ashita curator someone who does

swimming for pure enjoyment

and today i’m going to talk to you about

children not being able to talk to their

parents

86 of children hide their emotions from

their parents

this is a huge problem if you don’t talk

to your parents about your feelings

it’s most likely you won’t talk to

anyone else which will

lead you to bottling up your emotions

inside of you which can lead to many

mental health issues

i want to asked our secondary counselor

if anyone had come up to her

on how to express feelings

she said no one had approached her on

how to express their feelings

but she had met many people who had

other problems

that come from not expressing their

feelings

also 74 of children

follow in their parents sports career

paths

here’s what one of them had to say if i

tell my parents that i don’t like doing

tennis

i’ll be seen as the disappointment in

the family and i don’t want that

i just want them to be happy and proud

if you don’t like doing something you’re

less likely to do it accurately

and there should be someone who likes

doing it and will do it better than they

will this make your parents happy though

these children need

confidence but how

however honestly speaking it isn’t the

child’s fault

they aren’t receiving the right

parenting you as a parent what kind of

parent are you

are you the helicopter parent who pays

very close attention to their child and

very is very overprotective

or are you the tiger parent who’s very

strict and demanding and pressures their

child

to attain high academic grades or a high

status and extracurricular activities

many would argue that these are the keys

to parenting but coming from

coming from a child’s perspective it

really isn’t

we don’t want our parents all up in our

business but we want them involved in

our lives as well

can we mix the two to create a new brand

of parent

the bedroom parent let’s call it a

parent who knows what’s going on inside

in their child’s lives

but keeps their distance when needed a

parent who their child is comfortable

being around

and can express their emotions to sort

of like a child’s bedroom

a place where they’re comfortable and

left to their own thoughts

however parents are less likely to

change and these children can’t stay

hidden forever

but how can they grow the confidence to

go talk to them

a while ago i read a post online that

states children find confidence through

writing

this reminded me of the swimming class

what if the children write to their

parents

every week month or so they could spill

all their feelings to their parents

through a letter

this would be easier than talking to

those to their parents

because they don’t have those deathly

stares glaring down at them

or the fear of what’s going to happen

next each month will get better because

the parents will try to evict all the

bad things that happen in the light

this way the children can stay happy

mentally healthy

and be able to talk to them but us

children can’t do everything

i can’t believe you thought i was going

to leave it all up to us

parents are responsible for their

child’s mental health and well-being

they aren’t going to let us do

everything are they

i would hope they would as soon as they

read and receive the

letter they should go talk to their

child talk to them about why they felt a

certain way

and why they put certain things down on

their letter don’t rant at them or blow

up with them

if you rant at them they’re most likely

to zone out midzone

keeping it short and simple is the way

to go if you disagree with something

they put on the letter

try to come up with a solution you both

agree to

my turn to 20 vision is no more children

should have chokes in their throats

or fences too high to get over these

fences can be broken down by writing

children expressing their feelings

through writing just give them a pen

and a lying piece of paper by the end of

12 months your child should be able to

freely talk to you

because of the bonding relationship

you’ve created with them

if they can’t you’re doing something

wrong

i want children to feel more comfortable

expressing their emotions thank you

you