The Pushback Reflex. Taking Down Your Inner Saboteur.

i could fit

two of me

in the person i used to be seven years

ago

i wasn’t just obese

i was miserable i was angry at myself at

the world

i felt like i’m disappointing my loved

ones by not getting the results i want

and i wanted to lose weight

and i tried

everything

but every time i would lose a few pounds

they came back

and the more i tried the harder it was

it was almost

as if there was this voice

in my subconscious saying

mariola

you’re 212 pounds

and a half

you will always be

212 pounds

and a half

that’s who you are don’t bother

exercising don’t bother dieting you’re

wasting your time

and each time i would start a new

exercise routine or new diet

just when i thought i was on the right

track

pizza

i would

inexplicably craved pizza

gained the weight back

started the cycle again

new year resolution

new accountability bodies

new gym membership

new meal prep containers

same areola

now financially i was okay

but not epic not nearly at the levels

that i wanted to be

and each time i would think about

starting an investment or business

mariola

you will always be working for somebody

else making an average salary don’t

bother starting your business you’re

wasting your time it’s hard

it’s complicated

plus everybody knows that money can’t

buy happiness

right

right

and each time

i would pursue that greater financial

opportunity

fear

doubt

i would procrastinate or talk myself out

of the idea

what is really going on

how do i get off of this treadmill

how do we all break this perpetual cycle

this yoyo effect how do we take down

that inner saboteur how do we break the

old habits and create the life and the

person we really want

you see

95

of our behavior is driven by the

subconscious mind

and the subconscious mind has been

conditioned by our environment from the

very day we were born

it’s been conditioned into a very

specific identity into a very specific

self-image

into a very specific definition of who

we are and what we have

now just to be clear the subconscious

mind is not a bad cop here

it just likes the stability as it feels

it will keep us safe

the neurons in your brain have been

going the same way for a while now

burrowing deep neural pathways

kind of like a river in a canyon

not easy to make a river to go around

the canyon any other way

takes effort

takes energy

so each time we consciously want to

change something

this no no no

and when you are that close to that

promotion to finally committing or

finding this magical relationship

or to being fit

self-sabotage

procrastination

fear

doubt

sometimes even headache or any other

physical pain

or

pizza

and that’s what i call the pushback

reflex

what you need to know is that this is

normal part of the process

this is your subconscious saying

that’s who you are

and the closer you get

to getting that goal

the stronger the pushback

it’s kind of like

like a thermostat

imagine you’re renting a room from the

landlord and the landlord sets up the

temperature the lander likes it at 72

degrees you like it at 68.

luckily for you

you have an air conditioner in the

window of your room

no problem you say i’m just gonna turn

down the temperature on my air

conditioner

but here is what happens

the cooler it gets in the room the more

the thermostat will tell the furnace to

turn up that heat

the thermostat likes it at 72 degrees

remember

so you crank up that air conditioner and

the thermostat says

no no no we’re supposed to be at 72

degrees

i will just keep on turning up the heat

in my furnace

until

well maybe the air conditioner draws so

much power and

and short circuits and blows a fuse

that’s the pushback reflex

the subconscious

always wins

now

we might have the conscious beliefs that

we deserve magical relationships and yes

we don’t want to be fit and we want to

be financially successful

but the subconscious will say

no you’re big and you will always be big

or

you’re skinny and you’ll always be

skinny

or you’re an 80 student and you will

always be an 80 student

or you’re an alcoholic and you will

always be an alcoholic

you will always stay consistent with the

subconscious identity

and he will always listen to what that

subconscious voice says what’s the norm

but who sets up what’s the norm

the landlord

the term is that

that’s why

the subconscious always wins unless

you learn how to manage your

subconscious voice unless you learn how

to change that setting in your

thermostat

when i was changing a setting in my is

that it felt as though i was talking to

two different people

i would visualize and ask what would

that epic version of myself do in

certain situations

i know it sounds funny it felt funny it

felt silly and it felt forced and

especially in a shopping mall

mariola go get that pizza

one slice won’t hurt anyone

stop it that’s the old mariola i’m a new

mariola i want salad

i wasn’t perfect

i relapsed

until

here i am

sitting in a restaurant and my friend

says oh you’re getting your usual the

salad right

and then it hit me

i no longer had to fight with myself to

skip over the pizza options

i didn’t even see them

the salad became my new norm

if you

really really want to change

you must learn how to manage the

subconscious voice so it doesn’t manage

you

here let’s try something stand up if you

can

and those watching on a video you want

to do it too

shake your body a little bit

now put your hands on your hips in the

in your power pose you know what it is

think superman or wonder woman

smile

and close your eyes

take three deep breaths

and now imagine

in front of you there is a wall

the kind of a wall like in a science

fiction movies

it’s blurry but you can see through it

maybe there is a force field

and on the other side of that wall you

see you

but it’s not you that you are now

it’s that new and improved you

that most epic version of you

the most wonderful version you can

possibly imagine

the shape you want to be in

the clothes you wear

imagine that big warm heart you have

that wisdom you embody

now take even a closer look at that epic

version of you on the other side of that

force field

see how is this version standing

how is this version breathing

what is this version thinking

what is this version feeling

now in a moment i’m going to ask you

that in your mind’s eyes you step over

that force field that blurry wall and

when you do

you will step into that epic version of

yourself

ready

three

two

one

walk over that force field and step into

that version of yourself

now with each breath you take imagine

that version of you awakening in you

you are now standing the way this

version of you is standing

you are now breathing the way this

version of you is breathing

you are now feeling the emotions this

version of you is feeling

and you now have the thoughts this

version of you has

now squeeze one of your hands

and imagine and goal in your life that

you would love to see accomplishing

a goal so big that it’s so exciting even

if it’s a little bit frightening

don’t think how you’re gonna get there

don’t think when

just know

that in this version of yourself you

will make it happen

and now think of the people you deeply

care for

and they look in their eyes when they

witness this epic version of you showing

up for them

feel the emotions you will be feeling

when you make them excited

when you make them happy

when you make them proud

enjoy it

okay you can open your eyes now and you

can stop squeezing your hand

you can take a seat

you know what

if you were able to visualize that

version of yourself

it just proves that you have

everything that you need inside of you

to make it happen

you don’t need tons of new skills you

don’t need decades of education

all you need to do is to awaken this

epic version of yourself each time

you’re going through your pushback

reflex

you’ve just begun rewiring your

subconscious mind

and forcing these neurons into the

neural pathways that you want them to go

you’ve just toggled that setting in your

thermostat

you’ve altered the course of your

autopilot

you’ve changed the code of your own

operating

system now it is the consistent practice

of this tool and tools like it that will

help you to manage that subconscious

voice so it no longer manages you

i know it works because i’ve seen it

with my own results i’ve seen it with

the result of my clients many already

very successful they needed to go to

their next level they needed to push

through their push back reflex

it helped 50 year old woman to become

bikinian bodybuilding champion by

overcoming the food cravings

it helped another one to overcome that

fear and anxiety of interviewing and

public speaking

so he could land the career he’d always

wanted

and yet another one to overcome the

fears doubts procrastination

so she could become

that wonderful business owner she had

always wanted to be

once you push

through that pushback reflex

once you learn

how to manage your subconscious voice so

it no longer manages you

that’s when you consistently would get

the results you want for yourself

that’s when you might even tap into

higher levels of spirituality

because that’s

when that voice becomes for you the

voice of

god

spirit

grace

whatever you believe in

see masters and geniuses talk about

channeling that higher power while

creating

that’s when you’re in your flow state

and that’s when the magic happens

you see seven years ago i had this dream

to not to be so obese

to not to be so angry

and disappointed in myself and feeling

i’m disappointing others

five years ago i had this dream to be a

public speaker and share my story so i

could help others

mariola who do you think you are to be a

public speaker

with your accent nobody’s gonna listen

to you

don’t even bother

learn how to manage your subconscious

voice

so it does not

manage

you

thank you very much

you