Etiquette is simply how you choose your actions to be

hello

my name is and i’m an image and

etiquette consultant

i run a finishing school by the name of

subwoofer academy

in hong kong in india thank you very

much for giving me this opportunity to

be able to talk about the subject that

i’m most passionate about which is

etiquette

now there are few myths about etiquette

and i would like to take this

opportunity to

burst those few myths etiquette is

all about humility humility is the

ultimate sophistication

what etiquette is absolutely not is a

rigid code of

how i am able to make you feel in my

company and how we built relationship

that is the true meaning of etiquette

now there are several times a lot of

people think

etiquette is all about

some you know aristocracy refinement

being very well put together yes those

are manners

those are manners and those are social

skills which is

part of etiquette but not the principles

of etiquette

now the principles of etiquette are the

foundations of it

without the principles the manners would

have very little values

so the social skills which are perceived

to be

the only etiquette rules are not the

only etiquette rules

the foundations of etiquette are three

core competent which are

consideration respect and honesty

the most important skills of etiquette

is the way

you make the other person feel in your

company

so if i meet any of you and if i fail to

make you feel very comfortable in my

company that’s an etiquette prooper

what etiquette is not is taking a crap

taking pride

in one’s beauty wealth or professional

credibility

so humility once again is the ultimate

sophistication

you know when i started subwoofer

academy

about seven eight years ago in 2013

um i had absolutely no plan

to start a finishing school it all

happened uh by default

so i was working with my mom and

she was not feeling too well and i lost

her few years ago

so i was basically helping her out and

traveling

on behalf of her she was in the diamond

industry and

i had a few senior people coming over

to ask me for help in educated image

because i was always very passionate

about it and my grandfather happened to

send me to the european finishing school

that was way before i even thought of

starting subwoofer

now i was always passionate about

the importance of being wealthy together

it’s nothing

nothing i never really thought about

starting and finishing school or

whatever

so when it started to um help

the seniors in the damn industry to

be able to you know put some clothes

together

the refinement hosting dinner that’s how

some of their

the strike of some of their idea came to

my mind and that’s how i started

subwoofer academy in 2013

what i didn’t do in 2013 i didn’t teach

okay so i was just a young girl and i

had exceptional

great consultant on board like the

libertarian sevilla merch and john d

rhodes who came on board as consultants

to teach himself

her academy and i used to just run the

company

then i went to london image institution

in 2015 to become

a certified image consultant and i

practiced image consultancy and i talked

social etiquette and then i became

i you know specialized in business

etiquette from every

post institution in america now what

etiquette truly is what i have learned

over the years

is not what people perceive it to be it

is really not about uh

always being proven proper and no your

timing etiquettes

is not the beginning and the end of the

etiquette so

the funny part is when i tell anyone

that i’m an etiquette consultant

god help me because they suddenly you

know

straighten up their posture they

suddenly look after their

shirt button and to see that if they’re

looking all right

etiquette consultants are just normal

human beings

we have flaws as well maybe much more

than everybody else

we are not flawless and what i would

definitely not

encourage to unfeed or perceive that

etiquette or refinement is all about

being flawless

that just doesn’t make you true you know

um

attitude is however the skills of

educate if you if you truly

understand the importance of etiquette

that may help you internalize skills

on etiquette social and business both

that will help you internalize and also

that will sort of help you in your

professional growth

why because it helps you build better

relationship etiquette is nothing but

the relationship building skills that

you master

the way you make other person feel your

company

so what is the good return on investment

when you learn it

uh interview skills people will be able

to put more

trust in you more faith in you um

people be people will you will be more

likable

you will be able to get more contract

better relationship with subordinates

and so on and so forth not only it will

help you

build better success professionally but

it will also help you build better

relationship

socially the roots of etiquette the

first rule

is not being intimidating so what

again there is a perception oh she’s a

etiquette consultant so

it’s nomination all of that um

that’s an etiquette football that goes

against dedicated so if

your first job is to be well put

together yes that’s the choice

but the foundation of etiquette is

if people feel very comfortable around

you if you’re approachable

without losing the refinement of the

authority

so that is really etiquette you know

etiquette also helps you in building

your personal branding so there are four

skills

that’s crucial for your personal

branding

that’s credibility how good you are at

your job

likeability if

people like you to work with you

efficiency that is if you’re efficient

and you uh you’re able to work

efficiently with the team

and trustworthiness now the thing is if

you have credibility

and likability factor with you

my apologies but if you if you have

credibility and

um efficiency factor with you the

trustworthiness and the likability comes

naturally

so etiquette is very simple rule of

thumb

better relationship a lot of people

ask me the first thing is about dining

etiquette oh my god i’m terrible at

timing it i don’t know how to hold a

focus

you know etiquette is not all about

dining etiquette your

credibility social or professional does

not

begin or end at your dining etiquette

skills it’s again

a skill that you learn it’s a part of

etiquette

it’s not all about educate okay we will

forgive you

if you don’t know how to how to have

great finesse in your dining table

that’s a skill that can be taught but

principles of etiquette

are crucial values can it be taught you

have to have them

ethics trustworthiness professionalism

those are the principles of etiquette

and that’s what should be the main focus

rather than only the refinement of the

social skills because that can easily be

taught

by any consultant now um there are

several

etiquette you know tips that i can give

you

if you’re a young professional number

one is being on time if you are

on time that shows that you respect not

only your

time but you also respect others time

and then when that happen everybody else

are

able to put more faith in you you become

trustworthy yeah the second part is to

fight superior authority

how to do that is when if you are

a certain if you are in a certain

designation in your company or

if you are if you are a student and if

you’re excelling in your

academics not to take pride in it

or just fighting superior authority

in general since approachability back

takes very very important

and that is one of the crucial part of

etiquette not many people talk about

is fighting um superior you know

superior or superior behavior

another part of etiquette i would say be

well dressed

not because you know not because of any

other reason but you know when you are

just well put together

not only you look more organized but

also

it looks like you you you respect the

other person

you’re paying attention and you are

respecting the other person who’s

meeting with you or

people who are you working with or

whatever so when you are when you are

just

well dressed we trap we respect people

who are more well dressed so it’s

something that you may want to consider

at a young age

now etiquette is something that should

be internalized

in your private life as much as your

professional life what you cannot have

a two image you can’t have a public

image which is impeccable you find very

well turned out and well put together

and have a private image which is

probably contrary

uh i’m not saying you have to wear a

three-piece suit and a ball gown in your

living room

but there’s certain um uniformity

there’s certain similarities should be

there in your public

image and your private image especially

when it comes to

mannerisms so for example magic words

you know simple things like kids learn

magic words thank you please i’m sorry

hi hello greetings all these things

produce

a just a simple hello a good greeting

produce a good hormone called oxytocin

it’s a hormone of trust

and when you produce oxytocin you know

when the mother is in labor

and the mother is giving birth to a

child

the mother and the child both produce

oxytocin and that’s why they trust

the burned forms when the greeting when

you’re meeting someone for the first

time and when the greeting is impeccable

and

yours you smile when you treat you

maintaining the eye contact

you if you’re allowed to shake hands in

the near future

a good handshake or if not just a

sincere greeting with your

arm you know touching your heart and

with an art hello

with your full name that produces a

small

amount of oxytocin which works on your

favor

that’s why first impression is crucial

the greetings in first impression

is crucial so these are the simple rule

of etiquette etiquette is not all about

you have to go to you know you have to

be from a certain background a certain

hierarchy of society is a

wealth none of that you know etiquette

is very simply

how you choose your actions today

there are several very simple people i

met

personally in my life that i look up to

and they came from the most humble

background but they have this beautiful

charisma

and this beautiful behavior of of

respecting people in such a

such an immaculate way that you want to

be

in their company simply because we have

this beautiful charisma

to to make you feel great that is it

if you’re able to make someone feel

fabulous in your company and feel very

warm

in your company that is educated if you

take pride in your wealth your beauty

your prosperity your academic uh

so on and so forth that is not etiquette

that is in fact etiquette

so etiquette is very simply the way you

make the other person

feel you know when emily post

the american teacher where i studied in

fact i studied business etiquette

in every host institution of america

emily moore said one thing when two

people

meet and their behavior affect one

another

you have etiquette and that is a simple

rule of thumb it doesn’t matter

if you are not paying a lot of attention

to your dressing

it would be good if you if you know the

value of dressing

it would be good if you punish your

social skills

and have a great body language or

able to maintain a certain decorum in

your dining table

it’s a choice you make there’s no

hardened pastry

nobody could put a gun in your head and

say well you have to be civilized

civility is a choice you know and that’s

what i tell

all my students all my clients

civility is a choice it’s not necessary

that you have to go to a finishing

school to learn etiquette

it’s not necessary you have to have an

etiquette teacher

all the time 24 7 at your pecking hall

to teach you etiquette

none of that civility is a choice you

can start to learn

etiquette by a simple

practice of magic words by a simple

practice of

having a conversation with your family

members by

simple practice of choosing to have your

meal in a dining table

rather than a lot of people like to do

it in their bed you know

by choosing to make you wake up in the

morning and to make your own bed rather

than asking you stop to do it

or you know

put up with nice clothes in the morning

every morning

even if you’re working from home these

are the choices you make

with etiquette comes efficiency

etiquette is also

how what we teach we teach efficiency we

also teach how to be well put together

and the importance of

it now if you understand the importance

of etiquette and why it will help you

excel

in your social and your professional

life

it is the easiest way to internalize it

etiquette is not like stencils you know

good manners is a lifestyle choice it

doesn’t

begin or end in one subject it’s none of

that

it is a choice that you make throughout

in your professional and your social

life

thank you very much once again for this

platform and i’m looking forward

to connecting you all