Failure is a Friend

when i was a little girl

i always thought that i would grow up to

be a princess then

it was a teacher and then a doctor as i

grew up

i noticed that much of it became

unrealistic that the world that once

rolled around me

had now chosen someone else in its

spotlight

in that moment this fantasy that i had

would be just that

what a shame i thought to myself last

summer

i successfully applied to an ai cap

essentially the stem base camp

created exposure to the successes and

failures of ai

as well as the ethical implications

following there was an opportunity to

collab

with fellow mentors and campers on a

project that was pertinent to that time

being that it was two weeks and all

online i thought to myself

wow this was not only going to be a fun

opportunity

an interesting opportunity but it would

also be awfully relaxing

specifically this was my first national

experience

and so i knew that i was going to meet

all of these young women

and older women who would share their

experiences but i also

thought that we would share these

experiences interests lifestyles and

hobbies

we were just one in the same i thought

to myself

but i was wrong on the first day

i admired the selected young woman from

north america at service level

we exchanged socials and we got to know

each other in one way or another

then there were guest speakers notably

women who had joined us from all across

canada to share their story their story

of how they got to where they are today

their story

of the moments of weaknesses failures

and obstacles they had to overcome to

get to where they are

i always knew people who were in high

places had to do their fair share of

hard work

but the extent of it was not only

unrealistic

but unimaginable and their story

it spoke to me although their story

is not mine to share with the stage i

have today i would like to share mine

specifically i would like to talk about

an almost forbidden effort

in today’s society f a

i l u r

feeling now take a moment

what is failure to you is it an action

a sensation a calling or just another

word in the dictionary

is it a story of one or of all

is it intentional or is it purposeful

but most importantly is it worth it and

does it define you

failure is generally described as a lack

of or absence of success

is illuminated as a simplistic opposite

of success like the opposite of

up is down or right is left this broad

ambiguous definition guides us in

defining and characterizing our values

and our failures which in return affects

our ability

to enjoy and celebrate the minor

successes we experience

along the way today i hope to change

that

whether or not we like to admit it

failure is a story that defines us

although not willingly we subconsciously

take these moments

and use them as a supportive pillars

that build and support us as we go to

the subsequent plot of our stories

take riding a bike for example i’m

confident that almost all of you in the

audience today have at one point

try to ride a bike and out of those i’m

equally assured

that you have either fallen stumbled or

simply lost your balance this goes to

show that while failures are shared

they provide us with the opportunity to

get back up

improve and to avoid the same mistake

while we failed and stumbled along the

way

we were able to get back up persevere

and practice

until we got it right and that that my

friends

is what it means to fail successfully

now back to me and my story as the first

week of the camp proceeded

i found myself becoming increasingly

confused

i figured that because i had taken the

prerequisites like the maths and the

sciences of this

this would be a breeze the tables had

turned however because the more i

thought i knew

the increasingly confused i became and i

thought that i knew

everything there was to know and that

marked my first failure a lack of

self-awareness

following that moment i found myself

becoming increasingly

uncomfortable and antsy i felt like i

was going to be left behind because i

didn’t have

the confidence in my abilities and my

capabilities

however not too long after i received a

text

from one of my newer friends from that

time she said

and i quote i am so confused

and although i shouldn’t have i sparked

a smile and i immediately felt reassured

because everything that was going

downhill now started to reverse

because now i had a friend right there

beside me fighting the fight with me

along that smile i had plenty of time to

feel guilty about it later

the days that followed were harder and

they were also

better because now i wasn’t all alone

the second week

we split up into our groups and we

worked on our projects and our modules

not only did i not know anyone in my

group

but the material being covered was

incomprehensible to me at least

i think i had this predisposition that

just because i didn’t understand

something

nobody in my group would either and so

there was no point in trying

no point in reaching out for help and

there was no point in doing anything

altogether

and this this marked my second failure

a lack of persistence and perseverance

now i see with great happiness that i

was wrong not only did i lack

self-awareness again

but i brutally and wrongfully judged my

surroundings

this added with my inability to

persevere

did not serve me well i found my

interests my enthusiasm and overall

engagement in discount plummeting

so i was basically that kid in the

corner of math class who always falls

asleep

the days i proceeded my group and i we

started bonding

not face time and talking about our

lives bonding but we each had a mutual

understanding of

how each of us felt about the material

being covered in the project

and whether or not i would have liked to

admit it then i would not have expected

us to come as far along

as we did not only did we finish in time

but with adequate evidence and data we

were

able to formulate multiple presentations

to diverse audiences

and we each let the other shine where

they could where they were stronger

and where we were all weak we worked

together to accomplish that goal

and this should goes to show that while

you may be failing individually

there’s always opportunity and there’s

always people around you

your friends peers or complete strangers

who are there to support you

and help you succeed along the way

now if i had more time i would have

continued sharing the numerous

failures i experienced in this camp

alone however

my greatest takeaway from this camp was

that failure

is it two kinds the first is a failing

yourself

in my case it was a lack of

self-awareness where i didn’t trust my

past knowledge and i didn’t have

confidence in my abilities

to retain and understand the new

knowledge we’re going to learn

however the second is it feeling your

environment

again in my case it was a lack of

persistence and perseverance

and this was as a result of me not

trusting and confiding in my

peers and not believing that they would

truly be there to support me along the

way

we have judgments and biases on the

daily about the people who surround us

about why their lives are the way or

they are but we fail to understand

why this is the cause we tend to blame

external factors

like i filled my test because my teacher

did this

however sometimes we are the root cause

we fail to acknowledge that not

everybody is the same that the person

you sit next to in english class

or the call you work with at your place

of employment

may be going through their own problems

at their own times

but most importantly at their own

extremities

that said we’re all humans and we hear

this so many times

but we fail to understand what it truly

means and acknowledge

that the person who’s next to us may

also be going through the same thing

we’re going through maybe even in the

same boat

this goes to show that while we may be

failing individually or even

collectively there’s always room for

improvement even though your best

is lower than average or society tells

you that you’re far from perfect in the

end

it doesn’t matter because your failures

are yours

your successes are yours but mine

are mine yours are defined by your

standards

your experiences and your own actions

however mine

and although i may be going through the

same thing mine

are defined by how i approached it how i

recognize it

but most importantly how i bounce back

from it

that said not all failures are created

equal

but the people who experience them are

so as members of this society

and this community i ask that you reach

out to the people around you

when you say when you see them being

down

and ask them hey what’s up lent them a

hand

because failure is just another friend

and it’s time

we embraced

you