Embracing Fear

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

i remember the first time i ever read

the divergent trilogy

veronica roth created this utopian

society where every person was supposed

to fit into one of five factions

which each featured very different ways

of life these factions were originally

formed based on what people felt

were the most important values there was

abnegation he buyed selflessness

the amity who valued peace the candor

who vied honesty

the dauntless who valued bravery and

courage as well as the erudite who

valued knowledge

and of course i was completely obsessed

with trying to figure out what faction i

would choose if i was in the book

i knew i wasn’t the most selfless person

and i don’t think peace is the most

important thing

i also know that i don’t think knowledge

holds all the answers to life’s

questions

i always want to be dauntless because i

want to be seemingly fearless

just like the main character triss was i

wanted people to look at me and know

that i could take care of myself

but if i’m being completely truthful i

know would be candor

because as much as i wish i could be

dauntless i know that i love being

blatantly honest

more than i think i would enjoy jumping

on and off of moving trains

despite this i kept coming back to the

dallas’s teachings over the candors

was their values of bravery and courage

really the most important thing

in their manifesto they stated we

believe in freedom from fear

in denying for the power to influence

our decisions

we believe in ordinary acts of bravery

and the courage that drives one person

to stand up for another

we believe in acknowledging fear and the

extent to which it rules us we do not

believe in living comfortable lives

and i fell in love with the idea that if

i was brave i could become

fearless but is that really how it works

so far i’ve used both words bravery and

courage

which most of us use synonymously but i

felt in order to truly understand the

dauntless lifestyle it was important to

know these words exact definitions

merriam-webster dictionary defines brave

as having or showing

mental or moral strength to face danger

fear and difficulty

it is facing your fears it defines

courage as having mental or moral

strength or venture

to persevere and withstand against

danger fear difficulty

it is the ability to do something that

consciously frightens you

the common ground between these two

words is their relationship with fear

fear has to exist for bravery and

courage to happen

but the differences between them are

huge bravery is a split second decision

it is acting without thinking or because

of external pressure or as courage

requires heart

aristotle a famous greek philosopher

believed that courage is a noble virtue

he believed that courageous people are

fearful and

bold that they act in the right time in

the right manner

and with the right motivations and while

both are important

today i’ll be placing a specific focus

on courage

because in order to embrace your fears

there has to be a level of consciousness

in the dauntless manifesto we are

reminded to acknowledge our fears and

the extent to which they rule us

fear in broad terms just means that we

have something to lose

so when we examine the extent to which

it controls us it actually makes more

sense to let it motivate us

because if you’re scared enough to lose

something you should care enough about

to fight for it

ask anyone they will tell you that

nothing worthwhile in life comes easy

in fact one of the hardest things that

i’ve ever had to do

has been my training and participation

in kettlebell marathon

it is something that consistently forces

me outside of my comfort zone

while pushing me to my absolute limit

the event that i participate in is a

half snatch half marathon

which means that for 30 minutes i do as

many half snatches as i can

without setting my bell down when i

first started my training i never

thought to the extent that i could learn

from it

but the most important thing i’ve

discovered is that while it is

physically tiring

it is mentally exhausting without the

right headspace motivations and

behaviors

there’s no way that i’ll finish my set

so while it is a physical event

the outcome is mostly mental and i’m

proud to say that for almost the three

years i’ve been doing this

that i’ve not only grown to my physical

strength but more so mentally

looking back on my international

competition performances in spain

and poland i remember that before it

even started i was super nervous about

what was to come

as i stood in the platform my hands were

cold my breath was shaky

and my heart pounded in my chest in

poland i haven’t found myself doubting

if i was mentally prepared enough for

what was to come

but whenever i started a spiral before

my set i had to remind myself

but my fear was real but my

justification for it was not

there is no real danger it was just

another workout

by doing this i was denying my fear the

power to influence my decisions

and my actions i did this by changing

the way i perceived it

by adjusting how i view my fear in small

situations like my workouts

i’ve been able to grow my courage to

larger aspects of my life

but don’t get me wrong growing courage

is not a simple task

but the first step is to start small the

second step

is to remember where you started usually

in my workouts i get pretty frustrated

because i’m not always where i think i

should be but really i’ve just lost

perspective

the first time i ever did a half

marathon i got 241 reps

and i completely shredded my hands but

in my pr from last

july i got 450 reps and my hands were

tear free

it’s all about acknowledging the growth

and the progress that you’ve made

the third and final step is to remember

that it’s okay to be scared

we all have patterns to unlearn new

behaviors to embody and wounds to heal

we all have to remember that fear

shouldn’t shut us down it should wake us

up fear is what makes our heart beat

keeps our eyes open

and reminds us to keep pushing forward

feeling the pain

the fear the happiness and sadness is

what reminds us that we’re alive

and as mentioned in divergent becoming

fearless is actually not the point

that’s impossible it’s learning how to

embrace your fears

and how to be free from them courage is

so important in this process

because without it we cannot break the

negative bond that fear has on us

having courage can be worth everything

it can be the difference between life

and death or more importantly life and

living

franklin roosevelt once famously said

that the only thing we have to fear

is fear itself but i disagree with this

by saying that he is implying it is

unnecessary to be afraid of anything

besides fear

but we have to remember that fear isn’t

bad

fear is what promotes growth provides

motivation and creates adventure

the absence of fear gives us nothing we

have to remember that we are not made up

of our fear

we are cells building tissues and

muscles getting stronger

we are not our limitations but we are

how we choose to push past them

furthermore we are not who we didn’t get

to be

we are everything that we fought to

become

which is why i want to let my fear wash

over me and wake me up

i want it to motivate me and to push me

to my absolute breaking point

and then just a little bit further

because i want to look back and know

that having courage

took everything i had but that has given

me everything i have now

in the divergent trilogy tris had to

learn the hard way

that the values of selflessness kindness

honesty

bravery courage and intelligence were

not independent from each other

the faction system broke down because of

this for example it forced people to

believe that

only the dauntless could be courageous

which is a ridiculous notion

because nothing in life can be done

without courage

there’s so many ways to have it in this

world too sometimes it’s laying down

your life for something bigger than you

other times it’s giving up everything

you’ve ever known or everyone you’ve

ever loved

for the sake of something greater but

usually it’s not

most of the time in fact having courage

is nothing more

than gritting your teeth through the

pain and the work and the slow walk

toward a better life

but if we really think about it isn’t

life all about collecting the scars and

the bruises

to prove that we showed up and that we

fought against our fear

that’s why the calluses on my hands are

so important to me

they remind me of every repetition i’m

getting stronger

especially with the heavy ones or the

ones where i feel like quitting or

giving up but continue to keep pushing

forward

so when we walk out of here let’s

remember that today still has the

potential to be the first day

the first step towards a better life if

we let it be

because we are all one choice away from

a completely different life

and i say it’s about time we make that

choice with intent to embrace our fears

in order to find freedom from them

because i guarantee that if we all do it

afraid

we like the dauntless will not be living

comfortable lives

thank you

[Applause]

[Music]

you