How to Overcome

i started my competing journey in the

fitness industry in 2009

by 2011 i was competing on national

level stages all over the country

by the end of 2011 i was laying in a

hospital bed being told by doctors

i may never walk again much less ever

compete again

and that i needed to mentally prepare

for that

today new information regarding an

incident at the dell plant a man facing

attempted homicide charges accused of

intentionally hitting

24 year old whitney weiser with his suv

and leaving the scene

the suspect saying he wanted to meet

with wiser who wanted to end their

relationship

when she tried to leave police say he

intentionally ran her down with his suv

wiser remains in critical condition at

vanderbilt medical center with extensive

injuries the victim releasing a

statement to the judge saying i know he

may be in jail only for a few years

i am going to have back pain for the

rest of my life

competing and fitness became the only

thing that i cared about

this was my pathway to redemption and

not letting this determine me or my life

all right now we only gotta do five

going back up oh yeah come on

ah make it tough it wasn’t just about

winning anymore to me

it was about getting back everything

that had been taken away from me

finally in 2014 it all paid off

by 2016 i find myself standing on the

olympia stage

competing with the best pro athletes in

the world and i’m looking out over the

crowd thinking to myself

i made it i’m so grateful that i never

gave

up and i never listened to what anybody

else said i was capable of

i trusted in god and i followed my

passion

and i found my purpose this is my wife

being fearless is a lie there is no such

thing as being fearless

and although we may never be able to get

rid of fear completely we can use it

with our beliefs to overcome anything in

life

it’s amazing how our mindset can and

will affect the entire direction of our

life

it’s our perspective and how we view our

circumstances

that will ultimately make or break us

and it’s our beliefs

not our abilities that will cause us to

excel

or to never lift our full potential

this is the reason why we either

struggle through life

wondering why things always have to

happen to us

or whether we thrive through every

adversity with the mindset of things

happening for

us instead of to us we have two

different views of obstacles that we can

choose to have

and each view will take us in a

different direction entirely

the first few we can choose to have on

obstacles is they’re there

to prevent us from moving forward or

something that can stop us

the second view we can choose to have is

an obstacle is simply there to teach us

a lesson

prepare us for the next level or simply

a problem that needs a solution and it’s

up to us to solve it

it’s all perspective though and every

painful situation can have a purpose in

life

if we let it and this is how we move

forward despite

fear to overcome anything in life

i have four strategies for overcoming

and the first one

is that we have to identify our fears

and you’re probably still wondering from

the video how i ended up in that abusive

relationship

that almost cost me my life and the

answer is

fear i was scared and although

fear was instilled into me daily in that

relationship

leaving it was just as scary and you

might think what what were you so scared

of leaving the relationship

and it’s common common fears like

scared of being alone i was scared of

never truly being loved or understood

fearful thoughts flooded my mind of this

is as good as it gets

this is all i deserve i can’t expect

anything better

these were all subconscious beliefs that

i had about myself

from a very deep rooted insecurity which

is simply a fear of not

feeling good enough and not feeling

worthy of anything better

now of course i didn’t know i felt this

way about myself at the time

it took me several years to learn these

hard truths about myself

and to even be able to admit them took a

lot longer

but that’s the first step of overcoming

is to identify our fears

and define them clearly because

something else that i recently learned

is that just because we believe

something doesn’t mean it’s true

it’s so important to stop our thoughts

and examine them

and ask ourselves questions like is this

really true

why do i believe this to be true and

what does god say about this

because the fact is god doesn’t make

unworthy people

so after you identify your fears you

have to learn to move forward despite

them by

controlling your mind and your emotions

and i feel like we’ve lied to ourselves

in recent years with such a hyper focus

on our feelings

you would think that our feelings are in

control of us instead of the other way

around

we’re told to honor our feelings and do

whatever we

feel good about but what we’ve forgotten

is that we are in control of our

feelings they do not control us

we don’t have to just sit by and let our

thoughts run rampant in our mind

controlling everything that we do

we have the ability to stop them analyze

them accept or reject them and do

whatever we want with them

so i have to admit that when i almost

lost my life

trying to leave this abusive

relationship and i had to learn how to

walk again

i was angry i was angry for a lot of

reasons

but mainly i was angry because i was

just on the rise in the fitness industry

and now i was sitting in my parents

living room all day watching tv

with the out without the ability to even

get up and walk by myself

thoughts started to flood my mind of why

did this have to happen to me

i didn’t deserve this why do i have to

deal with this

but honestly we can’t stay stuck on all

the reasons why

something happened or why it had to

happen to be able to move forward from

it

it’s all a mind trap and self-pity

prevents our problem-solving abilities

so in order to move forward

i had to control my mind and not stay

stuck on thoughts of what could have

been why did this happen how did this

happen

because if i did i would have never been

able to move forward from it

so when you’re trying to overcome you

have to have

the confidence in yourself that you’re

going to make it no matter what

there’s no other room in your mind for

doubt or fear

and i had to have hope in god that he

would redeem everything

and i had to believe in myself so i just

kept fighting relentlessly to beat the

odds

when i finally stepped back on stage my

biggest fear was realized and i didn’t

even place

at the national level show that i had

won the previous year

i came face to face with what i feared

the most

and that was that i would never get my

same life back and i’d never be back

the same to what i was before this

happened to me

but this taught me something valuable

and it developed my character deeper

i learned resiliency resiliency is the

ability to recover quickly from setbacks

and keep going despite defeat

without a loss of enthusiasm or passion

and that was hard and i can’t say i was

enthusiastic the whole time

but over the next few years working my

way back to the top

it took a level of resiliency that i

didn’t have before

and i wanted to show people what you

could be capable of with the right

mindset

and if you never gave up and that was my

why

which brings me to my third strategy for

overcoming and that is to pursue a

purpose if you don’t know what your

purpose is yet you just follow the

passions and desires of your heart and

you’ll eventually find it

it’s so important to define who you are

what you want and what you’re passionate

about

competing was my passion that led me to

my purpose

which is to empower women and give them

hope to overcome too

and just to know that they can overcome

anything in life

the key to staying connected to your

purpose is that it has to be tied to

something greater than yourself

that way if you’re ever tempted to quit

it’s not just you that you’re affecting

at that point

there will be lives that don’t get

changed people that don’t get saved and

people that don’t get inspired

if you quit so you can’t ever give up

i stay in my purpose because i never

want anyone to have to suffer

the pain of what i’ve suffered so my

passion to empower women runs deep

it’s because of what i’ve had to

overcome that i found my purpose

in 2017 i got the vision and a strong

desire to produce one of the only

bodybuilding and fitness competitions in

the world

the only problem was i had no idea how

to do anything like this

i had no experience promoting or

producing events of any kind

much less of this caliber there was so

much fear and doubt and even trying to

move forward on this

i just knew i wanted to give hundreds of

other women the spotlight to shine

and the chance to come together for a

common purpose and be surrounded by

other strong like-minded and supportive

women

who are all trying to overcome their own

battles too

now after only three years my fit show

has become

a platform for women empowerment and

that’s my purpose

so the fourth and final strategy of

overcoming is for us to share our

stories

when we share our own stories of

overcoming we give others the hope to

overcome too

and all throughout history people have

been broken and humbled

to be able to lead and teach others from

experience

to share their stories and provide hope

and to inspire others despite fear

to inspire in spite of circumstances

and in spirit as humans we go through so

many traumas in life

and yet we still feel like we’re the

only ones going through anything

the list could go on forever from toxic

relationships

sickness and disease depression anxiety

loss of loved ones

we go through so much as humans the list

could go on forever

it’s so important that we use these

tests of our strength

and these and use it as the opportunity

to help

give others strength to keep going

instead of letting them make us bitter

at life

when the women who compete in my fitness

competition started sharing with me

their stories i heard comments like

competing and meeting other strong women

gave me the confidence i needed to keep

going another woman told me

this sport helped me overcome self-doubt

and build the confidence i needed to

leave an abusive relationship

and still one more woman told me this

show was the only thing that kept me

focused and going

during the pandemic this year it was

then i realized

that stepping on stage for a lot of

these women was that moment of

overcoming for them

and what if i would have let fear stop

me from moving forward on this vision

just because i didn’t know how i had so

many

reasons and excuses valid excuses that i

could have put forth to not move forward

on this

at the time i had no money no experience

and at the time no support

from a male-dominated industry so what

story are you telling yourself

what desires and passions do you have in

your heart that you need to take action

on the only way to conquer fear is to

confront it

it won’t ever completely disappear but

it will lose its control over you

when you have the courage to move

through it past it and despite it

remember it’s our fear and our

perspectives

that are an opportunity to change our

reality

and those are our four strategies for

overcoming identify your fears

control your emotions pursue a purpose

and share your stories of overcoming

with the right mindset we are capable of

anything

we are born to overcome we just have to

believe in ourselves

and be able to move forward in spite of

fear thank you