Living your dreams and fears

[Music]

i heard this quote somewhere

and it struck a chord with me self-doubt

kills more dreams than failure ever will

hello everyone my name is sara shah

i’m a first time tedx speaker actually

this is the first time i’m ever speaking

about my ideas and life

on such a large platform i am here

to share my experiences about my journey

from bangalore to turtug ladakh

is the northernmost village of india

situated in the ladakh region 205

kilometers from

lay and the closest village to the

indo-park border

2.5 kilometers to be precise from there

is my home where i run a little primary

school for the children of that region

so much to share so much to talk about

how did i reach

the highest point not just on the map of

india

but also my life sounds divine

but it was a tough ride

i was born and brought up in bangalore

where

i completed my schooling and attained a

degree in interior design

i worked as a freelance designer and mc

and in the corporate sector for over two

years

i liked my work it paid well

but there was something always niggling

at me

some dissatisfaction some discomfort

does it sound familiar

was i happy i’m not sure

maybe not i was too young

to understand this emptiness within me

according to the norms of the society i

was

just beginning my life and doing well at

it

in short i did not have reason to

complain

or feel this way then why this feeling

i just couldn’t fathom or understand

this disconnect if everything was good

then why did i feel this way i was

earning well

i was doing everything right then why

so many questions no answers

every time i spoke to someone i came

across a blank wall

no answers i had this need

this craving to find

that missing element i decided

to take a break move out for a bit

and explore myself

there was this desire to reach out and

work with children

which was stronger than ever before now

i wanted to go away for a bit everyone

around me said

a girl shouldn’t travel and live alone a

few said

this is just a waste of time and many

more said

what can one person’s teachings do

they laughed and they mocked but

my parents said if this is what you want

to do

if this is what makes you happy then do

it

i just went for it and

just an idea back then later shaped my

life

the minute i felt that this

change was doable and had to be done

everything just started feeling easy

i felt a weight being lift off my

shoulders

i first started as a volunteer

at a wonderful school in the mountains

of doda

which changed everything for me

i absolutely enjoyed and loved being

around kids

teaching them the very little i knew and

learning so much more from them

i learnt how to live a life

with just the basic necessities and it

just seemed so wonderful

i absolutely knew that this

is something that i’d want to do for the

rest of my life i wanted to be around

kids i wanted to

teach i had now discovered my inner

passion

with this passion of mine

i then moved to ladakh to volunteer at a

winter tuition program

in turtok by then i would already

receive messages from friends and family

asking me to return

back to the city and get a real job

but i had already found my real job

i was finally at peace i was happy

and every day seemed so satisfying

what more could one want

and the minute i reached turtok

in ladakh it was a little frozen village

with kids running all around me

a few with the rolling wheels and a few

sliding down the frozen stream

they all looked at me with curious eyes

and wondering who this new stranger was

back then in 2016 there was no internet

and barely one bar of network at certain

points

but honestly it did not matter i just

enjoyed being there the kids

would hurdle around me every evening

they wanted to know it all from galaxies

to planets

to mountains to planes to countries to

people to world history to modern art

they just had endless questions they

would sit around me until late evening

not wanting to go home winter turned to

spring

and spring into summer it was now

time to leave the village which meant

leaving a family

it was that with a very heavy heart

i decided to leave but with

a promise to return

there was no looking back now i knew

what i wanted to do and there was no way

that i wanted to get back to the city

for

good that was a very big decision

which meant compromising on my financial

security

but what would financial security mean

without

true happiness i would constantly

question myself

and continued i trusted myself enough

to sustain through this journey and i’m

glad

i did it definitely wasn’t easy

there were many challenges from the

harsh weather conditions

to connectivity to lack of basic

resources

cultural differences language barrier

and many more

but the light at the end of the tunnel

kept me going i just

knew where i wanted to reach and there’s

a saying

when you absolutely love what you do

everything seems so easy and that’s

exactly what happened for me

things started falling in place and i

started celebrating

every little achievement of mine

and then a year later

i returned to the village and with the

support

of a then tourist and now a very close

friend

we set up turtuk valley school

a little primary school just

at the border for the region for the

children of that region

it entirely runs on a volunteering

program

and through donations from kind

strangers

and friends which are raised through

social media

social media definitely has been a

blessing

and this school is definitely a very big

achievement for me

every time i wake up and a day looks

gloomy

just this achievement brightens up

everything for me

remember everyone around you

will always tell you what they think you

should do

but always believe in the gut feeling of

yours

you know what your heart beats for go

for it

believe in yourself and work endlessly

towards your dreams

because today i know that this dream was

planted in my heart

for a reason and i’m forever grateful

to my parents for letting me take this

plunge

and not pushing me into the rat race

thank you