When Should you Choose to Ignore your Gut

[Music]

the reason why i’m here today

is not because i’m the most incredible

speaker you’ve ever seen

it’s not because i have any better ideas

than anyone

in this room the reason why i’m here

today

is because of a dinner i had with my

parents four years ago

and for that let me take you back to

october of 2017.

i was 17 years old a senior in high

school

and just like most of us at that age i

was asked

what i wanted to do after my graduation

by probably every relative

i could possibly think of pretty

nerve-wracking already right

then this idea of going to the united

states to study

and play collegiate tennis came up in my

mind

i got super excited until i realized

that

i would probably have to leave my home

country belgium

and say goodbye to my parents for almost

4 years

this style by itself is pretty scary now

imagine suggesting it to your parents

i had this idea for a couple of days

maybe even weeks

and one night i came home from school

and i thought to myself

this is the night i’m gonna tell them

so i went downstairs for dinner sat down

and got extremely nervous even though my

parents

are the most supportive ones out there

it had never been that hard to speak up

i could feel my heart beating out of my

chest

and i could feel my throat narrow

i knew that all i could do was say that

first word

after 10 long minutes of conquering the

awkward feeling in my stomach

i finally decided to speak up and i know

for a fact that

without speaking up and overcoming that

feeling

i wouldn’t be standing here today too

often

we don’t say that first word and instead

we let that feeling right before make a

decision

hold us back so let’s dive into that

feeling a little bit more

the feeling i’m talking about is that

nervous but also exciting feeling

that you get right before committing to

something you feel drawn to

but you’re also pretty scared of so let

me ask you these two questions

who has ever not applied for a job

because they thought they weren’t

qualified for it

and who has ever postponed or canceled

the first date

well if you raise your hand after the

second question you might have just gone

out with your friends instead

however in both situations there’s a big

chance that the same feeling i had at

the dinner table

four years ago came between you and the

opportunity

i’ve tried to describe that feeling so

many times before

and somehow never was able to put a name

to it

that’s why i started calling it that

nameless feeling

and as i’m talking about this you might

notice that this feeling

is double-sided on the one side

we have our gut our true self that draws

us in a certain direction

but on the other side we have our

rational self

that tells us to run away as far as

humanly possible

and to be honest the last time at the

name was feeling

was right there right before i was

walking up on the stage

now for the remainder of this talk i

challenge you to visualize a feeling

for something you haven’t you have going

on in your life right now

or maybe in the near future

when you go home today and you try to

explain this feeling

to a friend or a family member they

might just reply by saying

well isn’t that just a leap of faith

the reason why i don’t want to call you

the leap of faith is because the leap

is often only a small step

and the leap of faith is definitely no

blind fate

so you might wonder well

what happens if it doesn’t turn out well

and what is that small step two years

ago

i was talking with a roommate of mine

about the fact that i was still

struggling

with the divorce of my parents and on

top of that

i was dealing with some injuries him

being a good roommate and friend of mine

suggested that i’d go see a sports

psychologist

and you think that seeing a sports

psychologist and setting up an

appointment

would be easy right well so did i

until i sat down before my computer

typed out the email

and all i had to do was click send

again that nameless feeling came up and

i went back and forth to my computer

at least four or five times it never

became easier

two days later i decided to take that

small step

and i can say that this has been one of

the most influential and powerful steps

i’ve ever taken

when you look at it this way you realize

that it’s often a leap of faith

but just a small step now recognizing

that feeling is crucial but knowing when

and how to take that small step might be

more intimidating

i think most of us would agree if i said

that decisions

small or big are important

wayne dyer once said our lives

are the sum of the total decisions we’ve

made

so knowing how quickly one decision

flows into the next one

and add up it’s crucial to make sure

that we

that they add up to something good for

us

from a very young age people ask us what

we want to become

and do with our lives and a couple of

years later

they also start adding the question of

why

why do we do what we do and to answer

both of these questions

i challenge you to seek that nameless

feeling and use it as a guide

that feeling is there for a reason you

simply cannot fake it

and here’s why in a study conducted by

bark and charbon

they found that most of our everyday

thinking feeling

and decision making happen unconsciously

they argue that the the evaluations

we’ve made in the past

guide our actions in the in the present

unconsciously

now this is something really good

because when we know

that these automatic processes also

known as our gut

they’ll probably take care of things for

us

using that let’s go back to using that

feeling nameless feeling

as a guide because this might be easier

said than done

especially when we want to make that

small step

we often feel what might happen next

we feel what might happen next because

the biology of fear

is there to protect us from uncertainty

because this

might lead us to risking our lives

however

when we know that taking that small step

won’t put us in danger

let’s start using it as a guide and

develop ourselves in ways

we didn’t even know were possible

you might wonder well what happens

if you overcome that nameless feeling

you take that small step

and it doesn’t go your way

two weeks ago i was asked the same

question by a mentor of mine

i was sitting in his office and he said

mano

when was the last time you overcame that

nameless feeling

took that small step and it didn’t go

your way

and i sat there for a couple of minutes

and i couldn’t think of a single time it

didn’t turn out well

and when i thought about it more i

realized of course

there have been times when things didn’t

go my way

but somehow i didn’t experience it as

something negative

the reason for this is because you can

never regret

doing something and committing to

something you do with the attention

to develop yourself

theodore roosevelt says it well in his

life philosophy

titled the man in the arena

here he says and who at the worst

if he fails at least fails while daring

greatly

thinking back of the times i felt that

nameless feeling

i knew that my parents would be

supportive i knew that my sports

psychologist

would book an appointment with me but

still

that nameless feeling came between me

and the opportunity

throughout my young life i realized that

this nameless feeling

is one of the most natural and powerful

ways

to stay true to ourselves that’s why

i would like to leave you with this

challenge for today

tomorrow and the days after that

i challenge you to reach out to the

person you’ve always wanted to talk to

i challenge you to apply for those

programs you thought you weren’t

qualified for

and more importantly i challenge you to

seek that nameless feeling

use it as a guide and develop yourselves

in ways

you didn’t even know were possible thank

you

[Applause]

you