Find Your Happiness

[Applause]

emotions

what could be more unpredictable than

emotions you have a friend who is

nice to you now there’s just a moment

later

he’s acting weird and you’ll be

wondering do you actually know this

person

right so today let us talk about you

me us emotions let me ask you one simple

question

what is that one reason that you’re all

here today

yeah what is that one reason that you’re

all here today yeah

it is because you’re all alive you’re

breathing

you’re breathing you made it today

there are so many who have not made it

today you’re able to

do your stuff on your own you’re

breathing you can have things on your

own

is it not something to be grateful about

is it not something to be happy about

yes but have you ever thought this has a

way of happiness

because we always look for the big

picture we always want to see the big

picture

it’s good but don’t we know that even

the big picture

is made out of small pixels yes do you

agree with that

even the biggest building is made of a

small brick

do you agree on that so why not we take

time to acknowledge those small things

and be happy all right so

let me move on another question i like

to ask a lot of questions that’s my

profession you see

okay so how difficult is it to smile

can you tell me because i see a lot of

young

small children i have my nephew who is

one and a half years old

and every time i look at him he’ll be

like

as if he owes a crowd for thousands of

dollars to the world

okay our smiles have been eradicated by

smileys

so i ask you one question how difficult

is it

for someone to smile let’s try let’s try

simple right every smiling is it so

difficult

why is it so hard then why is it that we

are not using it so much

why is it that everyone is always angry

so that’s what we want to know now what

is that that makes us happy

sorry to put this you know why we i had

a good photo in

first slide and have a depressing one i

believe that a person

encounters two kinds of death one death

is a biological one that heaven has to

go through

we die natural or unnatural dead either

we die by aging

or we die out of accident that is fine

there is another death which is more

dreadful that is the death

that comes to us when we are alive that

is that

when which comes to us when we are not

able to feel things

someone tells a good joke but you’re not

able to smile

someone is sharing some pain with you

but you’re not able to feel it

that’s called empathy effort you’re not

able to feel

the surroundings you’re not able to be

in that moment

and i’ll tell you friends that is the

most painful death

one can have so while i was

going through browsing through internet

i came across a very beautiful story

the story is about a native american

tribe

we call them the right indians a

chieftain of the tribe

teaches a young boy about life so he

calls the boy

and tells him i would like to tell you

something

so he tells there are two wolves inside

me

that are constantly fighting they are

always in a terrible fight

there is one wolf which is white which

is always kind

humble always having positive thoughts

always having positive emotions and

there is another the dark evil wolf

who is always angry who is always

negative

so he asked the boy which wolf do you

think will win

so boy says i don’t know so the

chief the wise man says the wolf to

which you

feed more will win so these are like

your emotions the positive

the white wolf is your positive emotions

the dark wolf is your negative emotions

for the emotions which you pay more

attention will

win you cannot you know you cannot

survive without negatives

because if you want to understand what

happiness is you have to go through

pains

but for which one are you going to pay

more attention that is the question

so in indian mythology we have yugas all

of us know about we have four yugas

that means the ages of the earth so our

yuga

starts from satya yuga and each yuga has

its own battles

there were many big great wars fought in

every yuga so starting with satya yuga

there was

battle between two worlds that they were

locker and asura loka

there was fight between the good and bad

that was during satya yuga

then came the yoga where was where there

was a battle between two kingdoms

the rama raja and the ravana raja good

and the bad

then came the dwaparuga where there was

battle

between two families the pandavas and

kauravas

now we are in kalyuga it is also rightly

called as the age of confusion

because we are confused in everything so

in sugar the battle has come inside us

within us

some students can’t decide for which

band which stop i should wear

right there’s an angel sitting in this

corner this shoulder and

demons sitting in this corner they’ll be

fighting you do this you do that

and you’ll be always having this you

know difficulty and i’m i’m

i’m really sorry for the essence

students because they have to take

decisions of their life

in the most confusing age of their life

yes

during their sisters they’ll be what 12

13 years old and they’re made to take

the most important decisions of their

lives they’re so confused

they cannot even decide which dress to

wear they’re made to decide about their

life

that is a battle we are fighting

so why are we upset or the seven years

of my profession as a counselor

i have met a lot of students they come

to me and sit in front of me asking okay

what’s wrong what’s the problem they say

sir i don’t know sir i’m upset

you’re upset yes why so i don’t know

sir i’m angry i get angry sir why

i don’t know sir i’m happy

why don’t you also be happy for no

reasons yeah

because you’re not paying attention to

the most important thing

you ask you if i ask a student tell me

about your friend

they’ll take a full day to explain about

their friend but i asked him tell me

about you

let me let me start they don’t know

their own strengths and weakness they

don’t know what they like and what they

don’t like

they don’t understand themselves and

they expect others to understand

when you can’t understand yourself how

can you expect others to understand

if you can’t understand what you’re

feeling how can you expect your

there’ll be always fights mommy you

don’t understand me

see you don’t understand me you expect

others to understand you when you’re not

in clarity

so that’s the biggest problem i see in

the youth no clarity about what they’re

feeling

i’ll tell you one thing emotions are

temporary listen to me carefully

emotions are temporary but the

consequences of the action

done because of those emotions are

permanent do you agree with that

you’re angry for one minute and you say

something bad to your friend

and you lose that friendship forever yes

but if you could handle yourself for

that one minute you could have

not had this kind of situation it’s a

it’s a temporary phase we go through

but we do something we end up doing

something that we regret for a lifetime

so remember these things emotions are a

temporary face

don’t take don’t do anything permanently

stupid because

of temporary emotions that is what i

want to tell you

right so yes everything is detailed now

even our emotions right i see

a lot of emojis talking now and first of

all the students are itself confused

they think that the brown color thing is

chocolate ice cream

and they put it on someone’s face in the

image this student it is not

ice cream okay so there’s so much of

confusion when you use

see the purpose of communication is to

make the person understand

yes but if you’re not able to make make

yourself understand what is the use of

sending all emojis

and another short forms lol

rfl emotions should be a

you should help you to express but when

someone is typing lol are they really

laughing out loud

they’re like hello are they really

rolling over the floor and laughing

no i don’t see them so i also see that

another about patience level more than

11 minutes no one can concentrate in

anything

and if a message which you receive in

your whatsapp is more than

four sentences i will definitely tell

you you will never read it

you send a universal reply

yes because if you have reply in words

you have to

read the message so that’s what we are

digitizing

everything see emotions are raw

emotions are pro let it keep it that way

why do you have to put these things

yeah it is easy it is you know you i’ll

tell you the conversation which you do

face to face is always the best one i

hope you agree with that you can you can

have

you can see emotions there

another very important area where

students suffer is self-image

a beautiful girl or a handsome man goes

and stands in front of the

mirror looks at himself everything is

fine i wish my nose was little smaller

i wish i had a curly hair i wish i had

vice versa like rithik roshan

you’re not if someone compliments you

you doubt it are they really

complimenting

you can’t even accept compliments

because there is something wrong with

you always whenever you stand in front

of the mirror you are not happy with

how you look if you are not happy with

how you look how can you expect

others to be happy see everyone has

their own problem the tall people i had

one case

where a guy pc boy came to me for

counseling

the problem was he was six six feet five

inches

he said he will not go to class i said

why my classmates make fun of me they

call me a freak

there are so many students who want to

be tall and he’s tall and he doesn’t

want it

and there are people who are short and

they have their own problems

there is a person who is fair goes to a

tanning machine face thousands of

priests and become tan

there’s a dark lady who wants to become

fair and put spend so much of rupees on

fairness cream

those who are fair wants to become dogs

those whatever want to become fair those

who are fat

want to become thin those are thin they

want to become fat what do you want

too difficult you have no idea what you

want you’re never happy

i think you’re taking steve jobs too

seriously stay hungry stay foolish

don’t take it so seriously sometimes you

have to be happy with what you have

okay why is that you always wait for

someone else’s approval

to get one perfect selfie you take 40

clicks

why can’t you be happy that you got the

best photo and

you will be happy with the photo if you

don’t get 10 likes in one minute

your entire life is gone i am useless

right why do you have to follow trend

when when you can create trends

right every now and then people change

see now

fortunately the status is only for 24

hour hours if it doesn’t have a class

there will not be any space for status

there

so why do you have to wait for approval

why do you have to

wait for others to make you happy can’t

you do it on your own

so this is what people are doing they’re

waiting for other people’s approval to

be happy

let me tell you what happiness is

according to me it is acceptance

if you’re if you can’t accept the family

you’re born with you can never be happy

with that family

if you are not able to accept the job

you are doing even if it pays you crores

of rupees you can’t

be happy with it if you can’t accept the

partner you’re with

you can never be happy with her or him

acceptance

accepting what you have that is the key

to success

so success or happiness so here

please try to accept things that are

around you with you

in you only then you know what real

happiness is

i usually like this movie the

incredibles i hope you have seen them

with

incredibles i am 31 i still watch

cartoons yes

i love it so there’s one quote by edna

mode a character she says

i never look back darling it distracts

from the now

so this image reminds me of a famous

doctor dr b mcdave when i was listening

to one of his speech he tells one thing

i really was fascinated with that

sentence he says in a man’s life there

is one year

in that one year there is 365 days you

should never be worried about two days

in that 365 days

what are they yesterday and tomorrow

you should never be worried about these

two days in the 365 days

about yesterday and tomorrow don’t worry

about yesterday if you have seen the

film

kung fu panda there is this uh master

oogway who says

past is a history history yes past is

history

future is a mystery this is a today is a

present

so enjoy it so that’s where we are

having problem

enjoying the now that’s why we’re not

happy

so uh this is my mom i’ll tell you to

become a counselor

it took me seven years okay of intense

training and a degree to tell me that

i’m a counselor

but my our mothers are inbuilt

counselors natural counselors you should

always listen to them

i had so much of i told you for moments

because she tells me see this is going

to happen like this and i don’t listen

to her and i mess up

and she comes and tells see i told you

so so always listen to your mom she

knows best

she slaps me when i’m wrong she hugs me

when i’m right

okay she never appraises me she always

criticizes me because she tells

to praise you there are people outside

they will not bother about your mistake

but i am your mother

i will correct you so always listen to

your mother because when i am anxious

she makes me sit down okay sit down

what’s happening she asked me

i tell i’m anxiety i have anxiety i’m

nervous

it does breathe slow down you’re just 30

or not 80 who have too much of time in

your life don’t worry about it

so always listen to your mother

sometimes just go and hug your mother

that’s enough

best therapy in the world is a mother’s

hug

sleep on her lap okay do that

when was the last day last time you did

something really silly and enjoyed it

when was the last time you did something

really stupid and laughed about it

and you were making fun of yourself

sometimes you have to be little goofy

so that you can spread smile we are like

mariadi prestige

no smile ah if i smile too much people

will take me granted

forget about what people think it’s good

for your health

you live longer

see we think that life is a race

everyone is in 100 meter race

everyone wants to finish fast i’ll tell

you life is not a race

sometimes you have to slow down stop

observe feel because if you don’t feel

you’re dead when the moment you

stop feeling is the day you die many

people ask me and

how do you manage to smile all the time

i tell them the day i stop smiling is

the day i die

so slow down we are so busy that we

miss so much of the best moments of our

life

okay it’s not a race we are not in a

race please understand this

another important thing i want to tell

you about emotions are emotions are

contagious

what you feel you spread if you’re

feeling happy

you spread that happiness to people

around you if you’re feeling bad

you make people how many of you have

dogs at home

you know they feel your emotions right

they respond to it

it’s a physical thing emotions are a

physical thing it has the power to

influence

your surroundings so if you’re happy

everyone around you is happy

if you’re not happy everyone feels the

same if your parents are not happy at

home you’re also not happy if your

partner is not happy somewhere you’ll

feel it

okay you don’t feel comfortable so

remember another thing

there is no perfection in the world

humans cannot be perfect but we can try

it as a pursuit of perfect

perfection see there are no perfect

families

there are only perfect movements in the

family understood this

there is no perfect relationship there

are only perfect moments in the

relationship

you cannot expect things to be perfect

every time that’s the problem

that makes us unhappy because we expect

too much we expect things to be

as we wanted

observe this image one boy has won the

first place but he’s still crying

but the person who has won the third

prize he’s happy

because happiness is a state of mind i

had a case where one boy

an arrogant boy he wanted an iphone so

he asked his

father for an iphone he bought the

iphone father god because nowadays if

some children ask in the morning you get

it in the evening

whereas when we were small we had tough

tough time

if we asked for something like say one

banyan we had to wait for one month

okay now things have changed everything

is easy so the father bought the

phone next day the boy updates his

facebook status telling that

i hate my dad i wanted a black iphone he

gave me a white one

he has a iphone he was not happy with

the color so i’ll tell you this

happiness is a state of mind no one can

make you have

unhappy if you don’t allow them

if you decide to be happy no one can

touch you

try to create your own happiness yes

try to create your own happiness why do

you have to depend on others

because you always want you want to

enjoy a beach you want wait for your

friends

and you know you plan for some trip

there will be 10

10 people while you’re planning but when

you’re going sometimes you have to go

alone sometimes you never go also

so don’t wait for others to make you

happy

right try to create situations on your

own

that will make you happy because let me

tell you

if you wait for this see no one is in

the planet to make you happy they have

their own life to live

but if you demand that you have to be

with me you have to make me happy

you will always be demanding more so if

you can create things

on your own you need not wait for anyone

see he has he doesn’t have a iron phone

he’s using his old phone and taking a

selfie

he’s living the moment yes so

smile is a beautiful arnold see she has

not even put a

pinch of talcum powder on her face but

look how beautiful she looks

smile more see sometimes even to a

stranger you should smile

because you smile back i told you

emotions are contagious

and for the next half an hour the

stranger will be wondering who was that

so for the half an hour of time you have

made that stranger forget his worry and

think about you

because nowadays i see that people are

always having that grim face

so tight face they’re not relaxed

so much of expectation so much of work

yeah some some they’ll say sir if you

tell that you are always smile people

will think that something is wrong with

us

yeah that is also true because what is

poison

anything that is too much becomes poison

you drink too much of water also your

kidney plants and you die

you drink you eat too much of rice you

have a problem

so everything should be equal see if you

have to enjoy the light you should know

what darkness is

see in mahabharata yudhistra was taken

to hell first by indra he was surprised

why

i have not done anything wrong why are

you taking me to hell first

so indra will reply if you have to

understand what

heaven is you should first know what

hell is

if you want to enjoy what happiness is

you should know what pain is first

because if you are always happy

eventually things get boring

yeah we have something called as law of

diminishing marginal utility

if you do things every time the same way

eventually you get

lose interest in it so everything should

be in balance

that’s how the cosmos work you should be

happy

when you’re supposed to be happy you

should be sad

when you’re supposed to be sad there’s a

funeral happening and you’re just

putting on music and you can’t dance

there in some cultures they’re done but

in mango it’s not allowed

if someone is happy you should also take

part in the happiness

because the more you share see smiley is

the only thing which spreads

and never ends if you give it more and

it’s a no-cost investment you need not

spend anything to smile

okay see if you smile you look more

beautiful

i’ve seen some people know nowadays the

trend is to give a serious look on the

photos i don’t know why everyone is so

serious nowadays

because that’s the trend now see no

matter what changes

the basic human instincts never change

these are the basic emotions happiness

sadness anger

these are the main emotions that are

inbuilt you know when you buy a mobile

phones there are some applications which

are already inbuilt can you uninstall it

these are the uninstallable emotions

don’t try to suppress this some people

say

okay if you’re angry you should not show

it show it but in the right way

not banging anything or throwing things

around

okay there’s a way this see you can in a

computer file

what are the different ways of saving a

file in computer

you can have control s or you can drag

and drop but you’re doing the same thing

right

same way with emotions okay there are so

many people when they’re angry they say

they sit silently there are so many

people when they’re angry they shout

it’s different you select you choose the

right pattern for you

okay emotions have to be expressed

you cannot suppress it if you suppress

it it will become

you know pressure builds up it will

explode to an innocent person

like your boss called you you scold your

wife

the wife called the children the

children beat the cat at home

it’s called burying of emotions because

the employee can’t call the

boss back so he goes to the next

inferior that is the children the

children can’t

shout back at the parents then what do

you have the dogs and cats suffer

let it not go like that let your

emotions flow

in a right way and let everyone be

benefited by it

see i am here i am an ordinary man i

don’t have big humans to tell about

i heard i don’t have a story which i can

use to inspire you

i’m an ordinary man i’m a student of the

university called

world teaching learning about life

from the teacher called time okay so

it’s like i learn from others a lot

because you can’t do all the mistakes

right sometimes you’ll learn from other

people’s mistakes also

and when you do mistakes please learn

and with this i tell you please smile a

lot

because the moment when your husband or

your wife comes home if you’re smiling

no matter what stress they’re in that

stress goes down

but if you’re also complaining when

someone enters the house

first thing what we usually get when you

go home

after office is complaints you’re like

the punching bag sometimes you have to

become the punching bag

see sometimes my mom imagine i go to the

kitchen

i drop one small low top okay i dropped

it

it creates a lot of noise and my mom

will start

her lecture you know if she’ll start

from the day i was born till present

she’ll call me like i have committed a

murder

but i i don’t mind because she has so

much of stress

she’s a single mother so i’m i believe

that i’m helping her by allowing her to

ventilate on me

i am i’m helping her by becoming the

punching bag but if i tell something

back to her like if she says hey

if i say hey she say hey that is

different she’ll not stop

but become that punching bag so that

your loved ones can be healthy

if you don’t allow them to blast on you

then where shall they go

try to understand why it is happening

not just like

she did like this he did like this

understand why it happened

yeah it is difficult i’m not telling

it’s easy understand this

so with this understanding i’ll tell you

everyone can be happy

nowadays people are paying and going to

stand up comedies to be happy

now the situation is like that we have

to pay to be happy

a very bad situation don’t let it be

permanent

be happy with what you have enjoy the

small moments

smile thank you so much