Being Happy

[Music]

[Applause]

namaskar i’m dr preena kohli i’m a

practicing clinical psychologist for

over two decades now

and this is my passion this is my

calling i love doing what i do

i’ve been seeing uh people from all age

groups and all walks of life including

the

prison inmates for even a clinician like

me

the last 12 months have been extremely

challenging

i was already gapping with the national

survey report which said that over 15

crores

indians suffer from some sort of mental

morbidity

and then pandemic happened it left

people more confused conflicted

helpless hopeless worried anxious

depressed

around 61 of my practice

increased during the pandemic people

were really worried at the levels

of the financial impact it had the

impact it had on education

on careers and also from the point of

safety whether they would contract it

themselves or give the

infection to the loved ones and also

because it came

too suddenly and and people do not

know what to do do not know how to cope

up after seeing so many people suffer

the last 12 months is my firm belief

that

being happy is a conscious effort we

can make a choice to be happy no matter

what our circumstances

most of the time we believe that if we

achieve a certain target

or get that award or get into a

relationship or accumulate a certain

amount of wealth we’ll be happy

but we can be happy in the most but

worst circumstances

all we need to do is change our

perspective our attitude

in those circumstances there’s evidence

that the erogenous

markers are where we are predisposed to

be

having certain happiness set points

having said that a lot of research has

been conducted which clearly indicates

that at least 40 percent of being happy

is in our hands to our changing our

environment

and by developing certain skill sets i

can tell you about myself what i do

to keep myself in a state of happiness

and i keep working

on it all the time and one is physiology

second is focus and third is language

by physiology i mean the energy that we

have inside you we have to keep working

on it and how can we work on it by

keeping

ourselves fit by exercising whether we

are dancing

running swimming walking biking

hiking whatever we enjoy doing we

must do every single day there’s no

sunday

for that we have to keep our body moving

you know

uh when your body moves your brain

grooves that is one very simple way to

look at it

also when i talk about physiology i’m

also talking about our senses we get all

our experiences through our senses

touch sight smell

taste feel so it’s very important the

kind of things that you’re seeing around

you you know the visuals have to be good

around you they have to be

calming they have to be uh interesting

they have to be

uh you know attractive so you never see

somebody keeping

a photo of a snake on their table you

will see

probably a photo of a family photograph

or some flowers some landscape

so visually what you keep seeing has an

effect

on your state then what you hear if you

hear

sweet sounds nice music

you know compassionate words you will be

in a happier state of mind

and then again the taste you know how

you what you’re tasting if it’s

something not

what you enjoy if it’s too bitter or too

salty or

too do sweet according to you you will

have an altered state of mind so

whatever works for you

you focus on that again the the touch

and the feel you know the kind of

clothes you wear or the

you know if you’re holding hands with

somebody the intimacy we talk about

this is very important here we all get

our state of happiness

through our senses so we can be very

very

conscious and make some smart choices

where our senses are concerned

the second is focus wherever your focus

is your energy will flow there

so if you’re just having four people

watching a landscape somebody might say

this is a beautiful sky somebody might

say

i love the green grass and the third my

person might say oh

god there’s an ugly pipe lying on the

right hand side is what you perceive

all right where your focus is is will

become your state of mind

so you need to focus on what will keep

you that happiness the third is the

language

language is the meaning you give to an

experience becomes that experience

for example if i tell one person to read

the poem dancing with the daffodil by

williams woodward

and asked after reading what did he feel

the person might say

that i i just felt i was dancing and

fluttering

in the beautiful breeze and i became one

with the yellow daffodils

and i’m feeling so good and i’m feeling

so joyous

the breeze was against my face and i

could just

feel that i have become the daffodil and

maybe for the other person who reads

out the poem might say that nothing

it’s just a poem for me it’s just a

black and white on the paper

so what meaning you give to that

experience becomes the experience

also the words you choose are very very

important

we have to have meticulous language

because words have a chemical effect on

our body

we never forget the words ever spoken to

us by anyone throughout our life until

of course we let go

so it is very important that we have

miraculous language because the words we

speak for others are the words we seek

for ourselves

and how we talk to ourselves how we

speak to ourselves will

also determine our state of happiness

because by speaking good things about

ourselves

by doing some self-praise some

self-appreciation

we will be able to increase the

confidence of self-esteem

the pride and the dignity and the grace

in us

i would also like to mention the

happiness hormones

what we call the dose dopamine

oxygen serotonin endomorphins these

hormones when released

in our brain keep us in the happy state

of mind

so dopamines are released when we are

appreciated for a task completed or a

job well done

or we appreciate somebody like our

mother for cooking up food so well

and also when we accomplish something

for example

if we were to set a goal for running

five kilometers of

marathon and we complete that or we are

able to complete our to-do list

uh dopamine is also released by retail

therapy when we buy a gadget or buy

those clothes or that watch

then also the dopamine is released the

second hormone

is the oxygen hormone oxytocin oxytocins

are the

touch harm on when we are hugged when we

are cuddled

or somebody holds our hands when we

intimate or we shake hands

these hormones are released and make us

feel

good so even when a child has fallen and

bruised

their knee and the mother hugs the child

the child gets better or when your

colleague is not

feeling good about a certain thing and

you put an arm around your colleague

the colleague already feels comforted

and has a better state of mind

serotonin is the other hormone

interestingly it’s called the service

hormone the more you do for

others the better state of mind you have

for example

if you help your friend find that guest

house you’re looking for

or help your family member fix the

doctor appointment you feel very nice

you know it’s in giving that we receive

and

the more service bender mind you will

have

the more fulfilled you will feel i

personally feel we are here

to serve others and we start having a

service

leader mindset the more fulfilled will

be

this lifetime it also helps when we

are able to contribute to the community

through our

service through our time through our

skills through our resources

we get in a very very happy state of

mind

endomorphins are released when we do

exercise

and we’ve talked a lot about it but the

other way uh endomorphins are released

is through laughter therapy so it’s very

very

highly recommended that at least you

laugh every day for 15 minutes

whether you watch a comedy show you

crack a joke or you laugh with a friend

but very very

uh you know conducive for your better

mental state of health

if you look at the indian philosophy to

understand our personality then we can

talk about the three kunas the three

kunas are

these are the gunas we all have and the

way it has an

interplay in our body also determines

our state of happiness

so satwik is when we are towards more

towards meditation

and yoga compassion kindness

leading a very simple minimalistic life

also when we have done sick damsik is

related to more of fear and anxiety and

worry and stress

and pressure and rasik is more to do

with attachments

and you know wanting materialistic

things

it is also to do with passion energy

aggression so the way these interplay

is also determines the state of mind the

more satwik

you uh state of mind you have or you

work towards

the more calmer peaceful and blissful

you will get

so you can very clearly see that being

happy is is in our hands all we have to

make

is the choice to be happy and again

interestingly intelligence has nothing

to do

with happiness all of us no matter what

our intelligence portions

can work towards being happy wishing

each one of you tremendous happiness in

your life i’m sure

you all will start working towards your

happiness

more mindfully more focused be more

proactive

and start looking after yourself to

become

a happy fulfilled person self-care the

self-respect

take care god bless

[Music]

you