Being Happy
[Music]
[Applause]
namaskar i’m dr preena kohli i’m a
practicing clinical psychologist for
over two decades now
and this is my passion this is my
calling i love doing what i do
i’ve been seeing uh people from all age
groups and all walks of life including
the
prison inmates for even a clinician like
me
the last 12 months have been extremely
challenging
i was already gapping with the national
survey report which said that over 15
crores
indians suffer from some sort of mental
morbidity
and then pandemic happened it left
people more confused conflicted
helpless hopeless worried anxious
depressed
around 61 of my practice
increased during the pandemic people
were really worried at the levels
of the financial impact it had the
impact it had on education
on careers and also from the point of
safety whether they would contract it
themselves or give the
infection to the loved ones and also
because it came
too suddenly and and people do not
know what to do do not know how to cope
up after seeing so many people suffer
the last 12 months is my firm belief
that
being happy is a conscious effort we
can make a choice to be happy no matter
what our circumstances
most of the time we believe that if we
achieve a certain target
or get that award or get into a
relationship or accumulate a certain
amount of wealth we’ll be happy
but we can be happy in the most but
worst circumstances
all we need to do is change our
perspective our attitude
in those circumstances there’s evidence
that the erogenous
markers are where we are predisposed to
be
having certain happiness set points
having said that a lot of research has
been conducted which clearly indicates
that at least 40 percent of being happy
is in our hands to our changing our
environment
and by developing certain skill sets i
can tell you about myself what i do
to keep myself in a state of happiness
and i keep working
on it all the time and one is physiology
second is focus and third is language
by physiology i mean the energy that we
have inside you we have to keep working
on it and how can we work on it by
keeping
ourselves fit by exercising whether we
are dancing
running swimming walking biking
hiking whatever we enjoy doing we
must do every single day there’s no
sunday
for that we have to keep our body moving
you know
uh when your body moves your brain
grooves that is one very simple way to
look at it
also when i talk about physiology i’m
also talking about our senses we get all
our experiences through our senses
touch sight smell
taste feel so it’s very important the
kind of things that you’re seeing around
you you know the visuals have to be good
around you they have to be
calming they have to be uh interesting
they have to be
uh you know attractive so you never see
somebody keeping
a photo of a snake on their table you
will see
probably a photo of a family photograph
or some flowers some landscape
so visually what you keep seeing has an
effect
on your state then what you hear if you
hear
sweet sounds nice music
you know compassionate words you will be
in a happier state of mind
and then again the taste you know how
you what you’re tasting if it’s
something not
what you enjoy if it’s too bitter or too
salty or
too do sweet according to you you will
have an altered state of mind so
whatever works for you
you focus on that again the the touch
and the feel you know the kind of
clothes you wear or the
you know if you’re holding hands with
somebody the intimacy we talk about
this is very important here we all get
our state of happiness
through our senses so we can be very
very
conscious and make some smart choices
where our senses are concerned
the second is focus wherever your focus
is your energy will flow there
so if you’re just having four people
watching a landscape somebody might say
this is a beautiful sky somebody might
say
i love the green grass and the third my
person might say oh
god there’s an ugly pipe lying on the
right hand side is what you perceive
all right where your focus is is will
become your state of mind
so you need to focus on what will keep
you that happiness the third is the
language
language is the meaning you give to an
experience becomes that experience
for example if i tell one person to read
the poem dancing with the daffodil by
williams woodward
and asked after reading what did he feel
the person might say
that i i just felt i was dancing and
fluttering
in the beautiful breeze and i became one
with the yellow daffodils
and i’m feeling so good and i’m feeling
so joyous
the breeze was against my face and i
could just
feel that i have become the daffodil and
maybe for the other person who reads
out the poem might say that nothing
it’s just a poem for me it’s just a
black and white on the paper
so what meaning you give to that
experience becomes the experience
also the words you choose are very very
important
we have to have meticulous language
because words have a chemical effect on
our body
we never forget the words ever spoken to
us by anyone throughout our life until
of course we let go
so it is very important that we have
miraculous language because the words we
speak for others are the words we seek
for ourselves
and how we talk to ourselves how we
speak to ourselves will
also determine our state of happiness
because by speaking good things about
ourselves
by doing some self-praise some
self-appreciation
we will be able to increase the
confidence of self-esteem
the pride and the dignity and the grace
in us
i would also like to mention the
happiness hormones
what we call the dose dopamine
oxygen serotonin endomorphins these
hormones when released
in our brain keep us in the happy state
of mind
so dopamines are released when we are
appreciated for a task completed or a
job well done
or we appreciate somebody like our
mother for cooking up food so well
and also when we accomplish something
for example
if we were to set a goal for running
five kilometers of
marathon and we complete that or we are
able to complete our to-do list
uh dopamine is also released by retail
therapy when we buy a gadget or buy
those clothes or that watch
then also the dopamine is released the
second hormone
is the oxygen hormone oxytocin oxytocins
are the
touch harm on when we are hugged when we
are cuddled
or somebody holds our hands when we
intimate or we shake hands
these hormones are released and make us
feel
good so even when a child has fallen and
bruised
their knee and the mother hugs the child
the child gets better or when your
colleague is not
feeling good about a certain thing and
you put an arm around your colleague
the colleague already feels comforted
and has a better state of mind
serotonin is the other hormone
interestingly it’s called the service
hormone the more you do for
others the better state of mind you have
for example
if you help your friend find that guest
house you’re looking for
or help your family member fix the
doctor appointment you feel very nice
you know it’s in giving that we receive
and
the more service bender mind you will
have
the more fulfilled you will feel i
personally feel we are here
to serve others and we start having a
service
leader mindset the more fulfilled will
be
this lifetime it also helps when we
are able to contribute to the community
through our
service through our time through our
skills through our resources
we get in a very very happy state of
mind
endomorphins are released when we do
exercise
and we’ve talked a lot about it but the
other way uh endomorphins are released
is through laughter therapy so it’s very
very
highly recommended that at least you
laugh every day for 15 minutes
whether you watch a comedy show you
crack a joke or you laugh with a friend
but very very
uh you know conducive for your better
mental state of health
if you look at the indian philosophy to
understand our personality then we can
talk about the three kunas the three
kunas are
these are the gunas we all have and the
way it has an
interplay in our body also determines
our state of happiness
so satwik is when we are towards more
towards meditation
and yoga compassion kindness
leading a very simple minimalistic life
also when we have done sick damsik is
related to more of fear and anxiety and
worry and stress
and pressure and rasik is more to do
with attachments
and you know wanting materialistic
things
it is also to do with passion energy
aggression so the way these interplay
is also determines the state of mind the
more satwik
you uh state of mind you have or you
work towards
the more calmer peaceful and blissful
you will get
so you can very clearly see that being
happy is is in our hands all we have to
make
is the choice to be happy and again
interestingly intelligence has nothing
to do
with happiness all of us no matter what
our intelligence portions
can work towards being happy wishing
each one of you tremendous happiness in
your life i’m sure
you all will start working towards your
happiness
more mindfully more focused be more
proactive
and start looking after yourself to
become
a happy fulfilled person self-care the
self-respect
take care god bless
[Music]
you