Mastering health by getting your house in order.

[Applause]

have

you got your house in order

you see if someone had asked me that two

or three years ago

my answer would have been a big fat no

because my house

it was more like a pack of cards a house

of cards just waited to come crashing

down

some of you mothers might relate washing

on the couch i mean it’s it’s clean it’s

folded but it’s still there

breathing and sometimes as a mother the

simplest instructions just seem to get

lost in translation

like we’re my son he comes running up to

me because he’s excited to have a kindle

and he’s like

mom mom can i download some books on my

kindle

and i’m like yeah go for it go nuts

well 48 geronimo still books later at

380

could have been more specific

and things like they have their own

interpretation of what you say

so don’t use too much shampoo well of

course that directly translates as

use up all the shampoo

so sometimes as a mother we just have to

just take it some time for us take some

solitude and bring some joy into our

life

so i got some of those socks from the

washing pile and i decided to

re-condo my sock drawer and it was great

for a day so

then i just i found myself wanting to

take some time for me

to revive and revitalize

so there i am i’ve got both doors shut

and i’m in the bathroom for two minutes

and i don’t even get that my son he

walks in my mum i can’t find my lunchbox

and my daughter oh mum can you sign this

note for school and my husband will say

hey darling

can you tell me what time and there we

have it they’re all too familiar

family meeting in the bathroom

any one of those things could have been

that thing

that brought my house of cards crashing

down

so one night i’m sitting at the computer

and i’m typing away at the kitchen table

and i’m i’m trying to stay awake i’m

falling asleep because it’s late at

night

in fact it’s it’s actually now really

early in the morning it’s 3 a.m in the

morning and i’m

eating cashew nuts to stay away and keep

falling asleep and

i’m trying to write report comments

report comments like i would have

written before i was a teacher

before i was a parent and i’m trying to

do my best for these kids and

write the best report comments and

during the day i’m trying to be the best

mum i can be and give my energy to my

children and i’m still trying to be the

best

wife i can be and live up to some

domestic goddess status

and i’m still trying to be the teacher

that i used to be

and i’m grieving i’m grieving for

the confident the energy that i used to

have

i’m just tired and i’m i’m fatigued and

i’m overwhelmed and i feel like i’ve

just got no time for me because

i’m giving my energy away to everybody

else and i’m juggling

all these balls and the ball that i go

and drop

is health

so i meet with my husband the next night

and i say we’ve just got to do something

about health

so we start digging deep into our reason

why why we want health

and the deeper we dig the reason is

i want to do it for my children because

i don’t want them to grow up thinking

they have to be a martyr

and they have to give the energy away

so we embark on this three-month journey

and we start

getting into eating healthy and and

getting into food psychology and getting

more of the good stuff in

and after three months i

reconnect with that old self and

suddenly

i have the energy and i feel revitalized

and so i start digging into other models

of health

and i came across the model of health

that we use new zealand health

which is tifari tapafa sir mason jury’s

model of health

and he looks at health as a house

and he looks at the four pillars of the

of health

as the four walls of this house of this

house so we have

the first wall which is our physical

wall we looks at strengthening the body

and the second wall looks at the mental

and emotional well-being the third wall

looks at our spiritual well-being

and the last wall looks at our sense of

family and social well-being and that

sense of connection

and you see i had realized that health

was my first wealth

and my health had rippled into so many

other areas of my life

because i had been working on this first

for what i’ve been getting in my green

drinks eliminating processed food

getting in my water

doing my breathing and anchoring in my

why

and i had built this first wall of my

house

by nurturing with nourishment and now

that i’ve nurtured

my my body well i now had to nurture my

mind

and you see by doing that

there was a really interesting thing

that happened

i was going to start making sure that i

focused my mind

and it was one of the best things i

could have done

i was thinking about what i could do

with my

my my computer and i was i was going

right

what can i do with my house business and

i’m working away

and this email came through

and it was the most incredible

opportunity

it was an opportunity to go to africa

and to spend time with the hudson and i

was like

this is the opportunity to live life the

way we would have thousands of years ago

with some of the last hunter-gatherers

in the world

i was like this is an incredible

opportunity

this is something so cool

that someone else would do and

that’s what i thought this is something

so cool

that someone else would do and there we

go

there was an old inner critic just

beavering away oh you couldn’t do that

oh you’re not capable

are you just a mother luckily

my love for learning had directed my

focus and focus well it can go either

way

it’s like waiting for a roller coaster

ride some people

are feeling the fear and others are

insanely enthusiastic

and it’s whether we view it as like a

negative

or a positive thing

and i had played this game wouldn’t it

be fun if

this imaginative game i thought wouldn’t

be fun if i did my coaching training

and really skilled up on health and

wouldn’t it be fun by

doing coaching i met incredible mentors

and colleagues

and what it’d be fun by meeting these

mentors and colleagues that i’ve got

invitations to travel and have insane

adventures and

that just blew my mind and here was all

that

in an email so i applied

i applied to spite my inner critic

and i realized that you can feel the

fear

but you just have to focus on the

excitement

by focusing your mind and that was the

second wall of my house

so i was on the way to africa and

there’s a whole other ted talk about why

you don’t pack through the night

how to set an alarm and gratitude for

mothers that ring you in your meant to

be at the airport chicken

but i get there and i find 43 hours and

airports and that i’m finally there and

i’m with the hudson

and i am lying at the bottom of this

boba bear tree and i’m

looking up i’m in my sleeping bag i mean

during the days i have seen things like

scorpions and snake trails

and weird millipedes that eject cyanide

and in lines but i’m not thinking of any

of those sorts of things

i am lying down looking at this bob tree

in this huge trunk and it’s glowing red

because the fire light is hitting it

and up the top of the bob tree a tiny

stars breaking through the branches

and the light of the moon’s coming down

and i can hear the fireside chatter of

the tribesmen

and the clicks the laughter the

storytelling

i look up and there’s this huge arrows

in the tree and on these arrows are all

the bows the bows that the hunters are

gonna use tomorrow for the hunt

and i can reach out and i could touch

these bows

i’m lying there and i’m so comfortable

i’m so connected to nature and i’m now

fighting to stay awake

and i realize this is lifting my spirit

up and i

feel so comfortable and it reminds me of

when my little boy was in bed

and he was doing that hook when you’re

just about to leave the room oh mum

i know what i’m going to be when i grow

up i’m like

thinking mate i’ve got so many things to

do dishes washington fold reports to

write

but i don’t say that i say yeah what’s

that

he said i’m going to be a fireman no

i’m going to be a magician no i’m going

to be a plastic

extraordinaire and if i wasn’t present

in that moment

i would not have known that a plastic

extraordinaire

saves the world from plastic

and it was that same being present in

the moment when a little four-year-old

girl grabbed my hand said mom mom can we

do a moon dance

and before you know it a mom dad a

little girl outside doing a moon dance

it’s the importance of connecting with

nature

of being present in the moment not

thinking of the past

or the future but being in that moment

and doing things that

lift your spirit up and that is that

third wall

of the house and just like i was

grateful to be looking up at that bar

bad tree

i was so grateful to meet the chief of

the hadza tribe

this is the chief his name is

hang on had to work on that

and i gave him a ponamu and it was

great to experience firsthand that whole

notion of it takes a village to raise a

child

and in this community everyone had their

role like

if a woman was having a baby all the

women were there to support her

and if a man was going out hunting but

all the men they went out together

and there was no jealousy that was a

foreign concept to them

and no conflict can you imagine that no

conflict

they lived in a state of gratitude and i

was so grateful because i was out

hunting with this chief and were out on

this hunt and we were walking along and

then suddenly

the chief stops so we stop

and we look and we wait

and we don’t make a sound because we

don’t want to distract

or disturb anything that’s there and

then he starts walking

so we start walking and he sees this

baboon track

and so we’re off and we’re tracking this

baboon and we’re running behind them and

all of a sudden we lose the chief

in the two tribesmen and we don’t know

where we are

we don’t know how to get back and

we don’t even know we’re just sitting

there as lion bait

and if we go full we might get hit by

arrows

luckily we spot one of the tribesmen so

we head over that way

and we head over to this tribesmen and

if you ever

want to see what the human body can do

when you eat the right stuff

and when you use your body the way it’s

meant to be

this tribesman he’s pulling back his bow

and the muscles across his back

are rippling across his shoulder and

he’s pulling back this bow

and he pulls back the arrow and he

shoots the arrow up into the tree

and it hits nothing we don’t hear the

thud

because he missed the bird and so we

wait

for the interplay we look at the chief

we look at the tribesmen and the chief

starts taking the mick

and the tribe and starts laughing and

these two are having a joke about it

and i’m thinking this might be all you

get to eat all day

i’ve seen golfers have a worse reaction

to missing a shot

but it reminded me of the importance of

enduring relationships

of connection that sense of

family and social well-being and that

is that fourth wall

and another day i was out with this

tribe swimming and we were

hunting and gathering and she was

digging up tuber roots and we were

slicing them and

eating a bit of tube root and then

suddenly there was this great excitement

about this tree and so we go over

because this tree is buzzing

and one of the tribes while he’s hacking

into this tree he’s hacking in

and he brings over a big chunk of the

trunk

and so we’re looking at this and inside

a tiny bee’s about the size of a pinhead

and bee’s eggs so we try some of these

bees eggs

and we’re eating them and they burst

like lemon in your mouth

and they’re delicious and then we try

the honey

and this honey like there’s still bees

tiny little bees in this honey

and it’s dripping down my hand and

i haven’t showered for quite a few days

but i tell you i’m licking

my fingers clean to get every last bit

this honey is that good

and then what the tribe’s woman does

next is she does something

that completely changes my view on

motherhood

she takes this trunk and she walks over

to the rest of the tribe

and the kids they see it and they know

and they come running and they’re all

excited

like bees to a honey pot that yay gives

a honey give some honey

and she stands there and she shows them

all away

and i’m thinking well that’s a bit rough

you know these kids want the honey give

them the honey

you know why don’t you the money but she

doesn’t she shows them all away

and what she does is she then proceeds

to go and feed every single one of the

mothers first

and only once she’s fed every single

mother

only then does she proceed to them for

the children and that’s when i give it

we’ve got it all wrong if she doesn’t

feed those mothers and they don’t

survive

then those children don’t survive

we need to taste a sweetness in life in

order to give to others

we need to nurture the nurturer

and just like sir mason jury’s model of

health

we need to ask ourselves is our house an

order

are we addressing those four walls of

our health because when i asked myself

that question my life completely changed

are we looking after our physical health

our mental and emotional health our

spiritual health

our sense of family and social

well-being

because that was the key thing

if we don’t put our own oxygen mask on

then we’re not getting our fair share of

the honey

and if we don’t do it for ourselves then

we need to do it for

the young eyes that are watching the

young ears that are listening

and learning

the biggest gift we can give our

children

is to teach them to nurture their body

their mind

their thoughts their spirit their family

their relationships

get your house in order

nurture your happiness

by nurturing yourself

thank you