Finding home in the sharing economy

[Music]

[Music]

eight years ago

i got an interim director position with

an organic certification group in

binghamton new york

that took me three hours from my home in

flemington new jersey

so i looked for a place to stay on the

sharing economy site airbnb

during the week and i found a room i

could afford in a delightful victorian

my host mary an intelligent progressive

community activist and i became

fast friends we had wonderful

talks that year she uh took me on

outings where i got to meet local movers

and shakers in my field

and we had these impromptu gatherings

around her dining room table

that always included great food

wine and laughter i soon came to realize

that mary was doing more than just

providing housing for people she was

building ties with friends and strangers

a recent widow with no children i felt

adrift

sort of homeless mary’s kindness and her

hospitality were a great comfort to me

and with her encouragement and fine

example i decided to take the plunge

myself

and convert my florida vacation home

which i had been renting out

to long-term tenants into an airbnb

now i really needed the income from

from the rental would people really pay

me to sleep with strangers

my home was in a historic florida

tourist town so i thought this might be

a good model my brother and my neighbor

agreed to manage the turnovers the

tenants had left so i took the week off

to get the rooms ready my sister-in-law

added the final touch a quote on the

wall

over the four poster bed that read may

all who enter

as guests leave as friends well i

immediately got bookings

and quickly fell in love with the airbnb

model so much so

that i helped a friend start one in new

hope pennsylvania

that i lived in and managed but then in

2017

it was time for a change thoroughly

burnt out after a 30-year career in

non-profit management

i moved to florida and took on the

management and hosting duties

sharing my home with my guests while

trying my hand

at speaking writing and stand up comedy

people from all walks of life

book my cottage’s rooms golf pros

vacationing families job seekers spring

breakers

and the occasional hurricane refugee

and i’ve made some wonderful friends for

life there’s tiny house betsy

midlife crisis craig and handy george

and i’ve gained tons of comedy material

along the way

take michelle for example i was getting

the large room ready

for woo and her father their flight from

taiwan was due to arrive late

and so i made sure they had all the

correct information to check themselves

in that night

i left the light on and i got ready for

bed

just then i got a message from michelle

she was new to airbnb and understandably

apprehensive

she was planning to visit her mother who

had recently been placed in an assisted

living facility

upon her initial booking we messaged

back and forth a number of times to make

sure that she was comfortable

with all the arrangements her message

this evening read

i’ll be arriving at 9 30. she was due in

two weeks

so i thought that was nice of her to let

me know her plan so far in advance

so i responded thanks and we’ll see you

then and i

went to my room after midnight i got a

phone call

it was woo the bedroom door was locked

i was sure i had left that open i got up

noticing that the light was out as well

with the spare key in hand i opened the

door

michelle sound asleep in the bed gasped

loudly when i flipped on the light

exposing a good deal of her lady parts

i knew immediately what had happened

confused out of her sleep i i

exclaimed michelle what are you doing

here you’re not due to be here for two

more weeks

she looked dazed and cleared her head

and said wow did i really do that

after some shuffling around involving

some fresh linens and a sofa bed

everybody was reset

then there was the very handsome young

men

with slavic sounding accents who worked

in the hospitality industry

in miami they came up three years in a

row for the local motorcycle festival

the last year that they came i was there

and they cooked this wonderful meal over

the open fire

in my backyard and it had all these

meats and

and vegetables in it and this marvelous

sauce all hot and savory

and they shared it with me

they rented the entire house and crashed

everywhere there was space so i stayed

over at my neighbor’s house

and i came by the next morning to make

them coffee

and i encountered alex on his way to the

restroom wearing only a banana hammock

talk about hot and savory

[Laughter]

i have taken on roles i never imagined

for myself

as an airbnb host i’m i’m a tour guide

an event planner i’m a babysitter i’m a

chef

and a bartender and a taxi driver

for a transgender woman named megan

who needed rides back and forth to the

doctor after her gender reassignment

surgery

an advocate for lgbtq rights she

told me all the ins and outs of her

procedure and her journey i’ve referred

people to

real estate agents social services

employment clubs and local fun spots

there’s been outings and talks and

gatherings

lessons learned and some heartbreak

there was the

breast cancer survivor addicted to pain

medication

homeless people by choice and by

circumstance

a turkish woman and her children

who have been looking forward to their

special trips to the united states for

over a year

and were determined not to let the

airport bombing in istanbul

the day before their departure stop them

i had a couple check themselves in

rather late once

i encountered him in the kitchen the

next morning

and he looked startled and froze in his

tracks i said good morning tom i see you

found your way in and found your room

okay

you say yeah relax a little bit and then

he said

thanks for not shooting me i’ve had

people use airbnb

as a dating site bad form

i’ve had international travelers tell me

that

they were here looking to marry and get

their u.s citizenship

and i had one man a married traveling

salesman hit on female guests with

impunity

airbnb life is not for everybody it’s

not a hotel

it’s not sterile consistent

private more often than not their homes

with neighbors and quirks

there’s my pets and their pets

there’s shared spaces accommodations

need to be made

and there’s the occasional unwelcome

critter another role i never imagined

for myself

bat catcher and

i’d say about half of my guests are

really just visitors and vacationers

passing through the rest are looking for

something more

than just a place to stay like emily

18 beautiful rebellious

and fully emancipated as long as

somebody else was driving her

she was seeking refuge from a toxic

dysfunctional

foster care situation so she rented my

smallest room for two weeks

she took the initial stance of

indifference to adults

eyes and and thumbs on the smartphone

earbuds locked and loaded

we barely talked she flirted heavily

with the male guests

getting them to get rides and meals her

room

was an explosion of teenage confusion

books and gear and looked like

undeposited paychecks

in in the beginning as i said we didn’t

talk but after a while she started to

open up about her situation

she had me drive her to her pharmacist

where she needed to pick up a very

complex array of drugs

intended to manage her mental health

issues she didn’t know what they were

for just that she needed them

one day she came home laughing

hysterically in a floor-length

old bedazzled prom dress that she had

put on over her clothes

so i said hi uh let’s have a girl’s day

and so we went and she said she’d never

done that so we went and got manicures

and uh shopped for shoes to match your

gown i must admit there are some days

when i am just so glad i have no

bookings

i sometimes wish that all who would

enter his guests would just leave

already

i sometimes choose not to engage and

my guests feel the same way and we never

see each other

except i’m left with their forgotten

doggy bag in my refrigerator

i only eat the high-end stuff

but when i choose to be open to

fellowship

when i share and i care and i listen and

we share our stories

i’m continually amazed at how much i

gained beyond

the income and the leftovers

it it has become a purpose for me

to share not just my home but my heart

and i look forward to the times when i

have to change

the room for the next visitor

it i love the common ground the cultural

exchange

temporary home that i provide and the

gift

of gratitude that i receive in return

i don’t always get to know how the story

ends

michelle and i laughed the next day

about her

early arrival and it became our little

joke on her subsequent visits

but i imagine that her mother has passed

because i haven’t seen her in a while

now emily that is a happy ending

towards the end of her stay her birth

mother came back into her life

and she is living with her now and she

seems very happy on social media anyway

covet has changed things i don’t share

the space with my guests anymore

i run out the entire space and i stay

elsewhere and i’ve also started seeing a

special someone lately

so perhaps i too am on to my next

chapter

i will always treasure the experience of

providing

more than just shelter for some but

sanctuary

i invite you to consider how you can

enjoy the joy of sharing think about how

you can build community in your life

maybe not by sharing your home but

sharing your heart in some way

like my airbnb mentor mary i built a

community

a family of travelers and much to my

surprise

a place of love laughter and healing

a new version of home thank you

[Music]

you