Finding home in the sharing economy
[Music]
[Music]
eight years ago
i got an interim director position with
an organic certification group in
binghamton new york
that took me three hours from my home in
flemington new jersey
so i looked for a place to stay on the
sharing economy site airbnb
during the week and i found a room i
could afford in a delightful victorian
my host mary an intelligent progressive
community activist and i became
fast friends we had wonderful
talks that year she uh took me on
outings where i got to meet local movers
and shakers in my field
and we had these impromptu gatherings
around her dining room table
that always included great food
wine and laughter i soon came to realize
that mary was doing more than just
providing housing for people she was
building ties with friends and strangers
a recent widow with no children i felt
adrift
sort of homeless mary’s kindness and her
hospitality were a great comfort to me
and with her encouragement and fine
example i decided to take the plunge
myself
and convert my florida vacation home
which i had been renting out
to long-term tenants into an airbnb
now i really needed the income from
from the rental would people really pay
me to sleep with strangers
my home was in a historic florida
tourist town so i thought this might be
a good model my brother and my neighbor
agreed to manage the turnovers the
tenants had left so i took the week off
to get the rooms ready my sister-in-law
added the final touch a quote on the
wall
over the four poster bed that read may
all who enter
as guests leave as friends well i
immediately got bookings
and quickly fell in love with the airbnb
model so much so
that i helped a friend start one in new
hope pennsylvania
that i lived in and managed but then in
2017
it was time for a change thoroughly
burnt out after a 30-year career in
non-profit management
i moved to florida and took on the
management and hosting duties
sharing my home with my guests while
trying my hand
at speaking writing and stand up comedy
people from all walks of life
book my cottage’s rooms golf pros
vacationing families job seekers spring
breakers
and the occasional hurricane refugee
and i’ve made some wonderful friends for
life there’s tiny house betsy
midlife crisis craig and handy george
and i’ve gained tons of comedy material
along the way
take michelle for example i was getting
the large room ready
for woo and her father their flight from
taiwan was due to arrive late
and so i made sure they had all the
correct information to check themselves
in that night
i left the light on and i got ready for
bed
just then i got a message from michelle
she was new to airbnb and understandably
apprehensive
she was planning to visit her mother who
had recently been placed in an assisted
living facility
upon her initial booking we messaged
back and forth a number of times to make
sure that she was comfortable
with all the arrangements her message
this evening read
i’ll be arriving at 9 30. she was due in
two weeks
so i thought that was nice of her to let
me know her plan so far in advance
so i responded thanks and we’ll see you
then and i
went to my room after midnight i got a
phone call
it was woo the bedroom door was locked
i was sure i had left that open i got up
noticing that the light was out as well
with the spare key in hand i opened the
door
michelle sound asleep in the bed gasped
loudly when i flipped on the light
exposing a good deal of her lady parts
i knew immediately what had happened
confused out of her sleep i i
exclaimed michelle what are you doing
here you’re not due to be here for two
more weeks
she looked dazed and cleared her head
and said wow did i really do that
after some shuffling around involving
some fresh linens and a sofa bed
everybody was reset
then there was the very handsome young
men
with slavic sounding accents who worked
in the hospitality industry
in miami they came up three years in a
row for the local motorcycle festival
the last year that they came i was there
and they cooked this wonderful meal over
the open fire
in my backyard and it had all these
meats and
and vegetables in it and this marvelous
sauce all hot and savory
and they shared it with me
they rented the entire house and crashed
everywhere there was space so i stayed
over at my neighbor’s house
and i came by the next morning to make
them coffee
and i encountered alex on his way to the
restroom wearing only a banana hammock
talk about hot and savory
[Laughter]
i have taken on roles i never imagined
for myself
as an airbnb host i’m i’m a tour guide
an event planner i’m a babysitter i’m a
chef
and a bartender and a taxi driver
for a transgender woman named megan
who needed rides back and forth to the
doctor after her gender reassignment
surgery
an advocate for lgbtq rights she
told me all the ins and outs of her
procedure and her journey i’ve referred
people to
real estate agents social services
employment clubs and local fun spots
there’s been outings and talks and
gatherings
lessons learned and some heartbreak
there was the
breast cancer survivor addicted to pain
medication
homeless people by choice and by
circumstance
a turkish woman and her children
who have been looking forward to their
special trips to the united states for
over a year
and were determined not to let the
airport bombing in istanbul
the day before their departure stop them
i had a couple check themselves in
rather late once
i encountered him in the kitchen the
next morning
and he looked startled and froze in his
tracks i said good morning tom i see you
found your way in and found your room
okay
you say yeah relax a little bit and then
he said
thanks for not shooting me i’ve had
people use airbnb
as a dating site bad form
i’ve had international travelers tell me
that
they were here looking to marry and get
their u.s citizenship
and i had one man a married traveling
salesman hit on female guests with
impunity
airbnb life is not for everybody it’s
not a hotel
it’s not sterile consistent
private more often than not their homes
with neighbors and quirks
there’s my pets and their pets
there’s shared spaces accommodations
need to be made
and there’s the occasional unwelcome
critter another role i never imagined
for myself
bat catcher and
i’d say about half of my guests are
really just visitors and vacationers
passing through the rest are looking for
something more
than just a place to stay like emily
18 beautiful rebellious
and fully emancipated as long as
somebody else was driving her
she was seeking refuge from a toxic
dysfunctional
foster care situation so she rented my
smallest room for two weeks
she took the initial stance of
indifference to adults
eyes and and thumbs on the smartphone
earbuds locked and loaded
we barely talked she flirted heavily
with the male guests
getting them to get rides and meals her
room
was an explosion of teenage confusion
books and gear and looked like
undeposited paychecks
in in the beginning as i said we didn’t
talk but after a while she started to
open up about her situation
she had me drive her to her pharmacist
where she needed to pick up a very
complex array of drugs
intended to manage her mental health
issues she didn’t know what they were
for just that she needed them
one day she came home laughing
hysterically in a floor-length
old bedazzled prom dress that she had
put on over her clothes
so i said hi uh let’s have a girl’s day
and so we went and she said she’d never
done that so we went and got manicures
and uh shopped for shoes to match your
gown i must admit there are some days
when i am just so glad i have no
bookings
i sometimes wish that all who would
enter his guests would just leave
already
i sometimes choose not to engage and
my guests feel the same way and we never
see each other
except i’m left with their forgotten
doggy bag in my refrigerator
i only eat the high-end stuff
but when i choose to be open to
fellowship
when i share and i care and i listen and
we share our stories
i’m continually amazed at how much i
gained beyond
the income and the leftovers
it it has become a purpose for me
to share not just my home but my heart
and i look forward to the times when i
have to change
the room for the next visitor
it i love the common ground the cultural
exchange
temporary home that i provide and the
gift
of gratitude that i receive in return
i don’t always get to know how the story
ends
michelle and i laughed the next day
about her
early arrival and it became our little
joke on her subsequent visits
but i imagine that her mother has passed
because i haven’t seen her in a while
now emily that is a happy ending
towards the end of her stay her birth
mother came back into her life
and she is living with her now and she
seems very happy on social media anyway
covet has changed things i don’t share
the space with my guests anymore
i run out the entire space and i stay
elsewhere and i’ve also started seeing a
special someone lately
so perhaps i too am on to my next
chapter
i will always treasure the experience of
providing
more than just shelter for some but
sanctuary
i invite you to consider how you can
enjoy the joy of sharing think about how
you can build community in your life
maybe not by sharing your home but
sharing your heart in some way
like my airbnb mentor mary i built a
community
a family of travelers and much to my
surprise
a place of love laughter and healing
a new version of home thank you
[Music]
you