Where is home
okay
so a few years ago my family and i went
on vacation to singapore
and i went up to this really cute guy
to start a conversation very brave with
me
now all was well and good until me asked
me a very simple question
where are you from in that moment
i was genuinely stumped i had never
realized that
i wasn’t able to answer a question so
simple
obviously i didn’t say i don’t know but
instead i responded with
i have lived in and currently live in
china and by blood i’m from india
now he didn’t seem to think twice about
this but now i had come to the
realization that
i don’t know where i’m from i don’t know
where i belong
obviously he didn’t care but
i was upset and i was annoyed this is
such a simple question
why am i having such a hard time
answering it
more than annoyed i think i was scared
you see
to many belonging is the sense of
fitting
in you are an important member of a
group you are someone other than
yourself
i am not alone in this world i belong to
this group of people
i am from this country but i was alone
now
where did i belong where was i from
i was scared now when
i thought of this i took a lot of time
to think of this question
the thing is how had i gone on so long
without being able to answer this
question you know
our self-identity our social identity is
a sense of fitting in
it’s where we belong in a society and it
is
a root of our self-esteem and our pride
so
now where do i get my pride from you
know i don’t i can’t be nationalist
i don’t do i belong here do i belong
there
how had i gone on so long without
knowing the answer to such a simple
question
you see as a kid i thought i belonged to
both india
and china then i came to the realization
that i belong to neither not fair
see i thought that you know because i
had lived here my whole life i was
chinese enough and i spoke really good
chinese too you know i’m always
impressing people on the streets
but that’s not enough that doesn’t count
i don’t think anymore
and my family and i we go to india once
a year at least
and it’s always so much fun you know we
stay at my grandma’s house the entire
extended family is
all together so much fun so much
laughter
everyone but when my cousins talk about
the latest bollywood reference that i
can’t understand
or when i’m made fun of for pronouncing
something wrong in hindi
i also know that i don’t belong there
now when i go home when i go home to my
family in china
my mom and dad do their best to make
sure that me and sammy my little sister
are always in touch with our indian
heritage we celebrate all the cultural
holidays
and we also try and pass on as many
familial traditions as we can
but when you talk about that roadside
samosa you had with your friends
or the song you heard on the radio i
can’t identify with stuff so
that kind of stuff so it’s not fair for
me to say that this is where i’m from
i really like debating i love to talk
and i can hold my end in a debate about
anyone hitler
stalin mao you name it i got it but
when you talk about indian politics i
don’t know
so much i don’t know so much that it’s
embarrassing and it’s not
fair for me to say that this is where
i’m from this is where i belong
so i present my dilemma to my parents
and i go
you know where am i from now their
simple answer i’m indian so you’re
indian it wasn’t a lot of help
so i call up my aunt my aunt was in a
similar situation like me growing up
because by blood she is indian but she
was born and brought up in the u.s
we talked for a little while and her
great advice cheesy as it is
home is where the heart is i know i know
super cheesy but you know what i laughed
in that moment when she told me
but i think i agree now i don’t need to
pick one
place that i belong to i don’t have to
belong to india
i don’t have to belong to china i belong
to my friends
i belong to my family these are the
people that i belong to and that’s what
matters
in this world of chaos in one year i’ll
be moving i’ll be going to university
and then after that i’ll be going
somewhere else i hope to travel the
world
i don’t know if i’ll come home to china
or if i’ll come home to
india but i know that i’ll come home to
my family and that’s what’s important
so when you get lost in all the chaos in
the world and when life keeps changing
remember remember that you belong to
someone remember that you have someone
to come home to
because that’s what it is important and
like elvis presley said
my home is with my loved ones so that’s
all you have to remember
thank you for listening