Humans are from Mars Horses are from Venus A Path to True Partnership

raise your hand

if you love horses well it’s a good

thing because there’s only two kinds of

people in the whole wide world

horse lovers and the other kind

now what a greater place to be than to

be right here in the horse capital of

the world

ocala florida marion county has over 80

000 horses of every kind type and size

everything from tony the pony to danny

the draft horse

now not everybody loves horses and i can

tell when they say things like

horses are dangerous horses

are expensive that’s usually the husband

horses stink now us horse lovers when we

get close to our horse get up close and

personal before we do

we take a look right and left make sure

no one’s looking especially

from the other kind and we get in and we

get a big

whiff of horse there ain’t nothing like

it

because horses are nature in its finest

form so much so

that the latin word for horses equus

which means equal us

now this isn’t a paradoxical

hypothetical relationship

because the horse is the ultimate prey

animal we are the ultimate predator

why would they let us catch them why

would they let us halter and why would

they let us touch them

and ride them and race them and jump

them and do all the wonderful things

that they do

i know that for sure that horses

complete us

and there’s only one way that we can

complete then and that is if we have

and learn the natural principles of true

partnership

to create equis so i’m here today to

share with you how horses

have enabled me to be able to learn

these principles and to employ them

now i’ve had horses in my life since i

was three years old

and today i’m a professional

horseologist

i’m also a success coach for thousands

of horse owners

around the globe including some very

high profile horse lovers like the queen

of england

ronald reagan tony robbins and the dog

whisperer

yes caesar milan even he loves horses

well it’s easy to see why we could love

horses because they are so special to

look at

there’s something about them but greater

than all of that i’m the proud father

of a handicapped child my son kate and

ryder pirelli is

37 years old he has hydrocephalus and a

form of autism

now before i share his success story

with you

using love language and leadership in

equal doses and embellishing it with

lateral thinking what i want to do is

answer your question

what in the world is a horseologist well

some people call us horse whisperers

some people call us

horse tamers some people call us equine

ethologists

but we are certainly not people who

break and train horses using mechanics

fear and intimidation

we are real horsemen so

one of my most legendary and but what we

do is

we use communication understanding and

psychology to rehabilitate horses who

have behavior problems

who have been created by their humans

who don’t understand them in the first

place

one of my most legendary rehabilitation

projects and partners

is a little black mare named magic now

when i met her her name was not magic

her name was spider because she was

known as the black widow

she i met her in australia a little

little island down below

called tasmania and 300 people came to

this clinic to see

if these principles of true partnership

could be employed with even a horse like

her

she had been through six professional

trainers they all said she was

untrainable and she was so dangerous she

should probably be euthanized

by the second day this i started a

relationship that started to butt into

it

and develop into a partnership and i

loved her so much i bought her

purchased her flew her all the way back

to america and did

thousands of demonstrations around the

world with her to share with

the world how this could be she was my

dream horse

she was everybody else’s nightmare

as we can start to go and start to

realize

how does this happen now my my horse

life has had some up and downs when i

was very young with horses

i was passionate about horses horses

horses horses no matter where i would go

looking out the window horses horses

horses

i was passionate i wasn’t much of a

reader but i read the whole series of

walter farley books

the black stallion and he had a whole

bunch of but the one that impacted me

the most was one called

the horse tamer now the horse tamer was

alex ramsey’s

ramsay’s uncle alec was the

main character in the whole black

stallion series

and it turned out his uncle was so good

with horses that he could tame

any horse anywhere anytime under any

circumstances

and that inspired me to want to be

really good with horses i wanted to be

so good with horses that even horses

thought i was brilliant my 4-h leader

said you should get a job

a career with horses so guess what i did

i took her advice

i found a stable not far away one i

could ride my bicycle to

that had a professional horse trainer he

was a world champion

and everybody there said his word was

gospel

even though he was a bit rough with

horses so i went there i got a job i

started right at the bottom i started

sleep cleaning stalls then i started

grooming horses

then i started exercising horses and i

was such a good rider even as a teenager

they put me on young horses that had

never ever been ridden

and even on some older horses that

didn’t want to be ridden again

i got so good at staying on horses that

i ended up having a 14-year rodeo career

yes i rode bucking horses until my

brains came in

now this man was rough and tough with

horses

and the horses that made it went on and

did real well in the show pen

and his program was easy for human and

hard on horses

but it was easy for me to follow all i

had to do is follow what he did just be

chauvinistic

be autocratic be anthropomorphic you

know put human thoughts and values into

animals actions

show them who’s boss and all we had to

do is be linear

he had a cookie cutter program that was

so easy for humans but so hard on horses

and so

it was easy for me because i had this

condition then called young man’s

disease

well i followed that i guess philosophy

for several years after that and one day

on my way to the stables

i’m driving there and i had the sinking

feeling that my dream of being really

good with horses so good that even

horses thought i was brilliant

had turned into a nightmare for me and

the horses because that morning i felt

like i was broke and the horses had all

the bucks

and lucky for me and thousands of horses

since then and

thousands of horse lovers i ran into a

real horseman

that taught me the natural principles of

true horsemanship

he said it’s easy use love his name was

troy henry

he said use love language and leadership

in equal doses

and embellish it with lateral thinking

you have to think outside the box to

solve these puzzles

sometimes us horse lovers say think

outside the barn

and what he did he shared with me how

simple it was

if we kept it natural but he said to me

you want to become a horseman not a

horse trainer because they just use

mechanics fear and intimidation we’re

going to use communication

understanding and psychology we’re going

to put principle in the head of purpose

he took me under his wing for five years

until he graduated to horseman’s heaven

after he passed away i knew i needed to

share these principles with the world

in 1982 i put my first seminar on

and i walked out in front of 30 people

and said these words

horsemanship can be obtained naturally

through communication understanding and

psychology

versus mechanics fear and intimidation

and if you want to be really good with

horses all you have to do is walk

watch everybody else and do the opposite

that was over two million

seminar goers ago now i have shared

these

principles with all these different

people all the different

horse lovers around the world but these

principles needed to be challenged

in 1983 my son was born kate and ryder

pirelli

had hydrocephalus and at three months of

age he went into a coma

we took him to oakland’s children’s

hospital we lived in northern california

at the time

and the doctors the surgeons there did

mris and said

we think we can put a shunt in to

relieve the pressure but the mri shows

so much brain damage he’ll pro

if he lives through the night he’ll

probably never walk or talk and he’ll

have to be institutionalized

well the shunt did work but my

giver-upper didn’t

we took him home and by the time he was

six he could walk okay

but you know what he could do he could

always raise his hands up because every

time i would ride by a horse

he would have those hands up there say

daddy daddy i want to get on a horse

and i would put him on a horse usually

bareback i’d put him on in front of me

and then you know what happens something

magic we’ve all heard about hypothermia

and how it helps

handicapped individuals i could feel

something happening down in his legs

that wasn’t happening before

some little something that was going on

there and i thought there it comes it’s

starting to happen

so then i started to put him on his own

horse and i put him on a saddle i had a

little seat belt

and he started being able to use his

legs the horse could feel it and he

started to go

and if it wasn’t going fast enough he’d

reach back with the little saddle

strings give him a tap on the rump

pretty soon he was flying across the

arena he was flying across the ranch

he was helping his dad out on the ranch

doing the chores and bringing in the

cows

he looked like a little pegasus with a

cowboy hat

by the time he was 11 years old he could

walk pretty good he could ride a bicycle

he could snow ski

and he could even ride a horse bareback

and bridalis all by himself

then it happened when he was 12 years

old he had a stroke

a massive stroke he lost everything on

the right side of his body

well today he rides horses every single

day

i just got off the phone with him just

before here because he wanted to go to

lunch

and he rides six to seven hours every

day he rides and slides he spins and

wins he turns

and burns he drives everything on the

ranch including his dad crazy

and he’s won five championship belt

buckles against able-bodied people

and he’s even been featured on the cover

of a national magazine because of what

how natural he is in all of his

accomplishments

this is proof there is nothing you can’t

do

when the horse becomes a part of you and

you cannot force this

this is something only that can happen

through love language and leadership in

equal doses

and yes every horse has a puzzle to

solve

so we have to use lateral thinking we

have to be able to think outside

the barn but using these principles to

get horses to be partners with humans

and using these principles to be

partners with my son and even better yet

the horses started being principal

partners for him

and this is what has enabled him to do

the things that he’s able to do today

well it wasn’t always easy

there were some little obstacles but

this is where the lateral thinking part

came in

he they said he would never be able to

do math so i just thought i can figure

that one out

he loved these little red candies named

hot tamales you know which ones i’m

talking about

well i’d put two in this hand i said if

you can tell me how much two plus three

is

you get the candies if you don’t i get

the candies

and guess what gulp a month later i

gained about 10 pounds

he got very very very clever though and

i’m telling to this day he’s really good

with math

as a matter of fact yesterday morning i

said hey kate how many horses do you got

he says

easy dad he counted all the legs he died

divided by four

he said we got 27.25

so we got one a horse with five legs

you know we all know that we’re all

different in our personalities the way

we think

the way we learn and he’s no different

now

i’m a success coach i try to help people

to

really get to understand how horses feel

think act and play and for most people

if i give them a concept

i usually about 10 steps maybe 12 at the

most and most people can get it

but him it might take a hundred well

these were

little bit of little rungs on his

learning ladder but they were arrows in

my quiver as a success coach

because the 10 steps that you might need

might be completely different than the

10 steps the person next to you need

see most people who are really good at

something they have a cookie cutter

linear

direct line approach to teaching and

they say things like oh you know you

just do this no well there’s 17

other things you do before you put the

just do it and most people who are very

good at things are not great

teachers well this enabled me to be a

better success coach it needed me

to be a better partner for my horses and

for my son

and as we all know people all have

different personalities we’ve all heard

about the different personality

paradigms that are out there

well guess what horses have horses

it would be very anthropomorphic of us

to say that horses have personalities

now there’s extroverts there’s

introverts there’s right brain there’s

left brain

let me give you a couple examples here

so magic

she was a right brain introvert and

people were going too fast with her

and she said to me basically just if you

go down and go slow

and go slow enough at first i’ll

consider

being your partner now the left brain

extrovert horse

he says i’m raring to go or i can’t go

because i’m raring i want to put my

horsepower into my horse play

the right brain extrovert horse says i

gotta get out of here i gotta move my

feet

somebody stop me the left brain

introvert horse says move my feet

yeah you and who else i got was mr

ed and why would i want to move him

anyway

wilbur you see

we all have met these people the right

brain

left brain person the extrovert the

introvert you know the left brain

extrovert that says let’s get her done

with a bit of fun and the right brain

introvert that says

i don’t know is that going to be safe

for the kids and the right brain

extrovert that says

let’s get creative and do something

right now and the left brain introvert

says

now hold on there nelly i think we

better slow things way down here and we

do some analytics before we make a

decision like that

so i guess what we can all learn from

this is that

linear thinking direct line thinking is

selfish and is probably the beginning in

the end

to all relationships but using love

language and leadership in equal doses

use embellishing it with lateral

thinking learning to think

outside of the box it’s a

great blueprint now it’s probably easier

said than done

no doubt about it but it’s definitely a

map

now we’ve all probably heard the

biblical saying do unto others

as they have done as you’d have done

unto yourself

but maybe those of us who dare to use

lateral thinking enough to think

outside the barn maybe would adjust that

a little bit

so as we start our relationships with

every different kind of personality

every different kind of horse analogy

and maybe even every kind of dog analogy

and have you already thought about what

kind of personality you have

whether you carry a purse or not

that we might say do unto others as they

want done

unto them and as i’ve learned from my

horses

my son and my mentors it’s best to keep

it natural

by being polite passively persistent in

the proper position

but that perspective takes patience from

process to product

may the horse be with you

you