Conscious humour to foster inclusion and diversity

[Music]

in september 2018

i was just off the stage from a comedy

gig i would organize in cannes

when a lady came up to me and said thank

you

i didn’t plan on coming today but i saw

the poster and just decided to walk in

you see i have cancer i have undergone

chemo for the last year and it’s not

getting any better

i now have another realm to do but for

the first time in a year

today i loved thank you so very much

it was a very emotional and powerful

moment

moments like this make me realize just

how

humor can be a powerful tool it is the

reason

i go back on stage again and again and

why

i have dedicated my business and my life

to humor

what i do is quite unusual i’m a humor

and leadership evangelist i seek to

convert leaders to the power of humor

my job is at the convergence point of

academia business and entertainment

i researched the benefits of yamaha in

leadership

i train coach and advise people and

organization

to apply this principle to improve their

business performance

and as a standard comedian i make people

laugh

through my work i’ve come to realize

three things

firstly from my personal experience and

as a comedian

i now see humor as a super and as such

it can be used to build up or tear down

secondly there are many disparities in

how humor can be understood

especially between genders and cultures

nationalities

finally and most importantly unlike what

is usually assumed

just like languages there are multiple

types of humor we should be aware of

and this allow us to adapt our sense of

humor to people and situations

so let me disentangle the structures of

humor for you

first humor is a superpower

the american poet singer memorists and

civil rights activist

maya angelou said i’ve learned that

people will forget what you said

people will forget what you did but

people

will never forget how you make them feel

a simple joke can be a powerful act of

vulnerability

and a very effective way to create an

authentic

connection with someone humor

is a real superpower and as spiderman’s

uncle said with great power comes great

responsibility

with you more you have the power to make

people feel good around you

or to undermine them with a simple joke

and you think oh it’s only a joke no

it’s not

it’s much more than that through a joke

you can convey a strong message

with a positive or a negative intention

you can be

sexist racist discriminatory

incriminatory

with a joke but because it is said with

you more you are depriving

the other person of their power to be

angry

to respond you have the power

to include or to exclude

for a piece of research i interview a

senior executive from a uk bank who told

me a story

the bank had organized a maternity leave

party for the hell of risk

in a room full of people two senior

managers said out loud

she should have just used a condom the

woman targeted was offended

and left upset if it had been me

i would have responded for sure your

mother should have done the same

that would not have happened to me today

but this could have happened to me 20

years ago

i started my career as a young

journalist in a daily newspaper in the

south of france

being the youngest and the only girl in

the team i was the constant target of

mockery at what we would call today

inappropriate jokes

it was a time where the internet didn’t

exist

smoking in an office was a load and

sexism and discrimination were perfectly

accepted

one day as i was frantically typing on

my keyboard one of my colleagues got

into the newsroom and asked me if i

wanted to see his new tattoo

i wanted to be friendly and polite so i

said

why not that’s when he unbought on his

james and showed me his

pubic hair laughing

he said look it’s a lion here is the

mane

people were laughing around me i didn’t

know what to say so

i didn’t say anything it felt wrong

i felt powerless and ashamed i knew i

should have

spoken up asserted myself and regained

respect

but i didn’t because it was only a joke

maybe at least once in your life you

have also felt the same

i have trained many men and women who

have felt the same they have walked out

on an office banter thinking damn

i should have said something but it

didn’t they have carried their shame for

years

until they shared the stories with me

that’s when i realized

humor is a superpower and as such it can

be used to build up

or tear down some of you may think but

it’s horrible it’s not a joke it’s

harassment

but yes it is a joke it was a joke to

him

a really bad poorly made joke

why because humor is in the reception as

much as in the intention

and what was intended here was to make

somebody

laugh it is not an excuse but what is

needed

is to shift to a positive intention

today this could not happen to me

not because we are in a different

society

trust me similar things can and do still

happen

but because i’m a different person in my

career

i left many jobs or rather i left many

toxic environments

where people use you more to secure the

power

and put people down and an environment

where

humor was used to undermine was not what

i wanted for myself

and that is not what i wish for others

over the years i’ve used tumor as a

defense mechanism

because i made a choice to laugh along

with my colleagues rather than being

excluded this leads me to my second

point

humor is gender sensitive and culture

sensitive years of working in

male-dominated

industries have turned my sense of humor

into an aggressive one

which helped me gain respect with my

male peers but not with the woman with

whom i worked

why because humor has a gender and as

sure as

men come from mars and women from venice

we don’t use and understand humor the

same way

so how is it that everybody wants to be

liked accepted and be funny but nobody

takes you more seriously

how is it that people agree that humor

is a powerful tool

but don’t use it or use it badly how is

it

that humor is something so positive

but it can be used to hurt and diminish

the reason is that nobody consciously

uses their sense of humor

humor is a language and you can speak it

fluently

this is my third point your sense of

humor is

changeable but in order to be able to

use you more as a tool

you must be aware of your own sense of

humor

and have a thorough understanding of how

you use and receive humor

the same way you should prepare for a

meeting in a foreign country

in making sure everybody speaks a common

language checking what is appropriate to

say and how to act

and adapt language and behavior

accordingly

in the same way humor has to be prepared

when i give a talk or perform comedy in

the uk

it is a very different experience from

performing in france

humor is difficult to export as each

culture

has its own style of humor and what is

humorous in one country

is often not humorous in another

but for example there are a few

commonalities that bring french and

english together

both have a negative sense of humor in

the sense that it is detrimental for

others or us and if i perform my routine

tailored for a british

audience in france it would be a flop

trust me i tried

apparently french don’t like to be the

butt of the joke

and preparation star is awareness

awareness of how you use and receive

humor

awareness of your own style of your more

and what

your purpose is in using humor

awareness of who you are as a person and

as a leader

we often think there is only one type of

humor ours

and whoever is a laughing and our jokes

has no sense of humor

science has categorized four types of

humor

two negatives and two positives i

mentioned i have an aggressive kind of

humor

which is part of the negative category

but you can also have a self-defeating

type of humor

which some would say is the dna of

british people

the most positives are the

self-enhancing

and affiliative types of humor

to know about your own sense of humor is

important

but also not sufficient important

because your sense of humor determines

who you

are and says a lot about you your

personality your background your values

knowing how your humor works also

allows you to adapt it not sufficient

because what is essential is your

intention

and that says a lot about the person you

want

to be your intention your awareness

give you the keys to change your

perspective on humor

strategically adapt your sense of humor

to people and situations

for a funnier and safer workplace

today diversity and inclusion are key

organizational challenges

what if there would be an unexpected

solution to foster inclusion and improve

diversity

a solution which would not include a

team building in barbados

a new fancy tech tool or an innovation

boot camp

a solution much simpler free and that we

all have

i believe humor can provide a path to

inclusion and diversity

but only if we all agree that humor

should not be used to exclude but to

include

not to disconnect but to reconnect not

to put people down but to raise them up

before i leave the stage let me give you

five keys to lead more inclusive teams

and more humorous

organizations one be connected

create a connection with your audience

while preparing your jobs

think of what you have in common it is

critical to know your audience including

their work backgrounds

basic personal information and their

affiliations

it can’t help minimize the risks

associated with the use of humor such as

offending peers appearing insensitive

and being socially distant at the

workplace

in today’s linkedin and facebook age

it’s quite easy to get this information

two be vulnerable don’t take yourself

too seriously

show that you can stop and have a good

laugh when leaders show their

narrabilities

they reduce feeling of intimidation and

improve their likability

this can’t make subordinates feel more

comfortable

admitting their own mistakes expressing

their concern

and challenging the leaders all of which

can enhance performance

three be authentic if you are under

pressure

humor is the first thing that can

disappear

it is important to use humor to show

that you are authentic

and in control even under pressure

if you can still use your more while

under pressure

it conveys the message that you are in

control not only of the situation

but of yourself four

be respectful conscious humor should be

kind

and intelligent in using situational

awareness to bring people together

and create positive energy for example

you can look at different customer

stereotypes

or things that might happen within the

value chain and you can draw comedy from

it

five be ready be well prepared for this

uncomfortable situation that you may

encounter with a funny comeback

and make meetings and presentations

memorable with a poignant

jaunty joke that helps convey your

message people can also encounter

inappropriate comments

if you have already come back in your

pocket it is a really good way to point

out something that is inappropriate

without being competitive

having entangled the network of humor

i hope you now begin to see it in a

different way

as a communication structures that can

convey

messages of positivity but also sexism

racism and discrimination

a complex and malleable structure which

differentiates

across regions cultures and countries

a tool to disconnect but also reconnect

globally as a community of curious cells

eager to engage with ideas and each

other let’s work together to make sure

humor is used to unite people so that

police

who use humor to secure the power as

insignificant as it is

will not poison the culture of our

organizations

nor our minds now all you need to do

is dare to be funny and put laughter

around you

make someone smile today multiply

positivity and

happiness and unleash a ripple effect

that will have the power

to change the world one of at a time

thank you

[Music]

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