Embracing Your Liminal Identity

[Music]

so

where i’m from i’m from

poppies and the twisted vines of

cabernet

from coffee shop happiness

to buzzing stinging blissfulness

down a lavender walkway

i’m from stuff to the gills in

multi-night

from carne asada fries to cup ramen

at night i’m from

love is patient love is kind

from sunday best

to shinto shrines

curled up by the fireplace gathered

round the dining table

i listen to my family’s tales

i am from the war-torn the

immigrants the meek hard

working earnest furthest

from weak

generations that chose that road less

traveled by

strong men and women more than what

meets the

eye i am from the ashes

where the phoenix rises hopeful

adventurous a life full of surprises

i’m from two worlds bridging together as

one i don’t know where i’m going

but i know where i’m from

hello and welcome my name is erica i’m a

teacher here at csun international

school and i teach language and

literature

today i’m going to be talking about

embracing liminal identities

now a few years back i wanted to return

a textbook

and i went up to the counter handed the

textbook but the cashier

looked me up and down and said

what are you

i thought maybe i misheard so but the

person said again

what are you

uh i’m human

i don’t know what you want from me and

he said no no no i mean where are you

from

what’s your ethnicity

i sighed and i went into my five-second

rehearse bio that i’ve always said

all my life well i’m half

my mom’s japanese my dad’s american my

dad met my mom when he was in japan i

grew up in america oh

coco coco that’s what i wanted to know

can i return my textbook now

i’ve had so many interactions like these

where i’ve ended up having to talk about

my identity and share my whole life

story

with complete strangers

and now that i think about it when i

think about what that person said to me

what are you that person probably

genuinely didn’t care about my identity

or my family

but really was wondering

how should i label you what box

should i put you in

when we define people it’s a matter of

convenience

we can label someone we know how to

organize them into our mental

system and then from there on out we

know where that person

sits in our worldview

we know how to interact with that person

how to talk with that person

but what about someone like me

on my american side i’ve been told that

i’m not american enough

on my japanese side i’m not japanese

enough

i’ve even been told that i’m not

japanese american enough

so where do i fit in

my identity is somewhere between those

defined

and prescribed societal definitions my

identity is a liminal one somewhere in

between

so what are liminal spaces

in architecture they’re often defined as

the transitional

in between spaces where people often

go through them and then quickly leave

where they’re forgotten or abandoned

maybe some of you can connect to this

where you felt at some point in your

life

you don’t fit into those prescribed

spaces your identity

doesn’t fit neatly into one of the boxes

that already exist

you lie in the liminal space

today i want to talk about those

identities especially

children and young adults who really

haven’t developed a strong sense of self

and they might feel that they are lost

in that liminal space

as an educator i have the wonderful

privilege of working with children from

elementary all the way up to high school

and

one of the observations that i’ve

noticed is that children

when they’re young they are just

brimming with questions and answers

if you ask them who are you

they will confidently tell you about who

they are

and what they believe themselves to be

i’ve heard things like

i love cats i’m an artist

i’m caring or i’m going to be a unicorn

but then as the children grow older

there seems to be a disconnect when

their minds were once filled with

their passions and dreams it becomes

filled with the worries and expectations

often put onto them by their teachers

and adults around them

the poem that i shared at the beginning

was actually an assignment that i gave

my seventh grade class to start off

to start off our poetry unit i asked

them to write about

where they’re from for me i had a lot to

say about my identity so

it poured out in a matter of minutes but

what i soon realized was that my class

actually

they really struggled with this they

didn’t know where they were from they

didn’t know where they belonged

and it was a challenge for them to

express

who they are their identity was lost in

the liminal space

so educators

how can educators embrace liminal

identities

especially our students who might feel

that they don’t have a place they don’t

have a strong sense of self

the first way is to build positive

relationships

when i was in high school a teacher

called on me

in front of the whole class and asked me

and said erica

how did your parents meet followed by

did your mom marry your dad for money

and even further i heard that japanese

wives always

walk three steps behind their husbands

because they’re submissive

now this was totally unprompted

completely unrelated to what we were

learning

and you can imagine i didn’t know how to

respond to that

in fact i don’t even remember what i

said but i know how i felt

maybe maybe that teacher genuinely was

trying to build a relationship

maybe that teacher was just innocently

inquisitive

about my life and my family

but on the receiving end it was

absolutely intrusive and so insensitive

and i never wanted to share about myself

or my identity with my teacher

so then educators how do we build a

positive relationship

we need to step into their limital

identities

let the students talk to us let them

share

about us before you start asking

questions

before you start imposing your belief

systems

on them let them come to you and share

what they think what they believe

what they’re experiencing

the other aspect that we can do a simple

step for building a positive

relationship

is getting their names right

if you don’t know how to pronounce it or

spell them spell it just

ask them take the time what they care

about is if you are making that

connection

giving the effort to create a safe space

and when they’re ready they will come to

you

they will share about their lives

the second thing we need to remember as

educators is that identities

are precious and language absolutely has

power in another experience

it was december 7th we were learning

about pearl harbor

the teacher asked me to read that

section out loud to class

i did my part i read that section i sat

down

teacher then turned to me and said erica

what do you have to say for your people

that one comment maybe that teacher

doesn’t even remember saying that to me

but that one comment i carried that with

me from my teenage years into my

adulthood

it became a part of my identity

it made me ashamed for my japanese side

it made me feel guilty for something i

personally didn’t do

language has power what we say as

educators can either build or can hurt

students even if it’s a passing comment

language has power and identities are

precious

the last thing that we can do to embrace

liminal identities is to represent them

later on when i went off to university

this was the first time that i was

actually surrounded

by a diverse group of people i started

to see people who looked like me

who spoke like me just like me thought

like me

and i felt visible it was the first time

where i could feel comfortable in myself

and start to share

who i am educators it’s so important

that we look at our curriculum

we need to amplify liminal identities

by choosing texts topics and issues

that represent them we also need to

consider

what narratives what narratives are

being

privileged which ones are being

de-emphasized

and which ones are missing altogether

it’s so important that our students can

see themselves

in what they are learning

but what about those of us who are just

trying to

figure ourselves out how can you embrace

your own identity

now i thought about how i could approach

this

and i decided the best way would be to

write a letter to myself

to my teenage younger self so bear with

me for this

dear erica

as your older more mature self

there’s so much i want to tell you i

know that you just

want to fit in you’re of two worlds but

you feel like you’re really in neither

you’re stuck somewhere in between

you have to field so many questions

about yourself

and you wonder why do i have to answer

so many questions about myself

why do i have to work so hard to prove

myself

why can’t i fit in why is my thinking so

different

from people around me well

i’ll admit you’re not going to have the

answer and you’re going to be

really working on that even in your

adult self

but i can tell you the process that

helped you understand

who you are and we’re going to look at

it through a literary approach

the first thing you need to remember and

it’s not a no-brainer for you

is to read read read

you’ve always been surrounded by books

like a cactus

in a barren desert trying to soak up as

much as you can

and all the stories the experiences the

truths that are

in this world

you’ll start with what you know books

that you have

and then slowly dip into

some of the more complex but still safer

comfortable topics

and then when you’re ready you’ll dive

into the vast sea of context

concepts and conflicts

by now you’ve got all that knowledge in

your head and you start to have this

growing question who

am i what are my own beliefs

this is when you need to look at your

life and study your life like you would

study a story

your background where are you from

your themes the themes in your life what

patterns are emerging

the characters who are the people that

have shaped

who you are the events

what defining moments

challenged or affirmed your identity

when you think you’ve got that sorted

and you have a building sense of self

next you’ll realize that you’re ready to

be part of a community

now some people they have their

stronghold beside them

from when they’re little and they’re

ready to go out into the world

but for others for you erica you’re

going to need to forge

new bonds new connections and that’s

okay

look for people you can talk to be

honest with

who can challenge you whoever they

are they’re going to empower you to have

a voice and finally

when you think you have that voice and

you’re ready

to share with the world become a

storyteller

share your unique story with the world

tell

people that this identity exists

make yourself visible

maybe it’ll start with a short poem

a little creative piece here or there

but whatever way that you story tell

make sure that you’re including the

important moments the emotions the

memories that are so dear to your heart

and my young self i wish i could tell

you everything that you’re going to go

through

joy love happiness but also

heartbreak unbearable moments

things that you don’t want to remember

whatever happens

always remember to read

keep analyzing

keep discussing keep sharing this

will be the way to your identity the

path for you to understand yourself

and at some point you’ll realize that

your limital identity

it’s not a forgotten passage it’s not

something to be ashamed of

it’s a celebrated promenade a bridge

that connects identities together

thank you