To be or not to be that is the expression Shaunak Roy

[Music]

[Music]

my name is shawnik roy

also known as royal and i’m a bengali

american medical student

and musician i’m originally from the

bengal region of south asia

bengalis are the third largest ethnic

group in the world

while our mother tongue bangla is the

seventh most widely spoken by total

number of speakers

but it’s rarely felt that way for me

having a hyphenated ethnic identity such

as my own

is difficult to navigate this identity

is often reduced to just being

multilingual rather than having a

different level of cultural awareness

my roots are in bengal but my branches

are here

in america throughout my life i’ve been

made to feel that i exist in moments

only as one specific

part of my identity take something as

simple as asking yourself right now

what your favorite movie is as you’re

thinking about it if

multiple answers are coming to mind are

those answers

changing based on where you are and who

you’re with

in general do you think you’d feel

hesitant to share any of those answers

again based on where you are and who

you’re with

now yes there could be a number of

factors at play here

but i suspect that those of you who

carry a hyphenated ethnic identity

especially one with american at the end

of it you know exactly what i’m talking

about

you’ve probably heard what you say what

kind of name is that

is that even english you see i find that

there’s this expectation

this expectation that you have to

separate your hyphenated ethnic identity

into its parts and embody a specific

part based on where you are and who

you’re with

rather than being able to embody the

whole

i was born in india and my family and i

moved here when i was young

i’ve been raised here alongside my

younger sister

so on one hand we were listening to

american hip-hop and rap music

and on the other equally listening to

bollywood and bengali music at home

see the split translated to everything

it wasn’t just

movies and music it was all the art and

forms of expression

that we consumed and it was difficult

still to find

role models who captured the whole of

our identity

we had to be content for the most part

with exclusively american role models

or exclusively bengali ones

in college i had greater exposure to

people of south asian descent

i was able to explore this umbrella

identity so to speak

through a competitive fusion acapella

team and a competitive fusion dance team

this exploration consisted of marrying

western music and eastern music

in the forms of vocal arrangements mixes

and mashups

the novelty at this point was for me to

hear anything remotely south asian

in combination with anything remotely

american

remember those stats i told you in the

beginning they still didn’t hold true in

these communities

it was very rare for me to come across

bengali americans

as a result i was left to venture

through hindi and punjabi songs

fused with american english songs while

it’s true that i think this exploration

brought me more in touch with my

umbrella identity

it eventually made me realize just how

underrepresented i

felt specifically as a bengali american

i could see myself continuing to operate

in this creative sphere

but just because you can do something

doesn’t mean that it’s bringing you

fulfillment

after college i began to take greater

notice of bengali diaspora creatives

creatives who i saw were exploring this

expression of their hyphenated identity

initially i thought i would need the

support of and collaboration with these

established artists

in order to make something for myself

now i’m sure this is something we can

all relate to we always look for that

blueprint

in someone else rather than having that

conversation

with ourselves of maybe we already know

what it is that we want to do

but we’re reluctant because we don’t

know if we’re going to be able to make

it on our own

and then we just wait and wait and wait

but that blueprint never materializes

from somewhere else

i think it only materializes when we

take that risk

of asking ourselves how can i alone

make this happen that moment that we

take that risk

that moment that we take that time and

space to introspect

that’s when the blueprint materializes

and realizing

that you could be that person

for me i realized that i didn’t need to

wait for anybody

i could be that person but what did that

mean

what would embodying the whole of my

identity

as a bengali american sound like in

music

just as we see in other forms of

expression

fusion music tends to come down to the

parts rather than the whole when i was

exploring my umbrella identity

through the competitive fusion dance

team and competitive fusion a cappella

team

i noticed this comfort that creators and

consumers felt

when there were very clear demarcations

of where one identity began

and another identity ended it was

important for me to break this mentality

and so i first set my aim on the

composition of the song that i would

ultimately make

the song that you heard when i walked on

stage today

so let’s have some fun

growing up listening to american hip-hop

and rap music

this genre finds its way into the

soundscape by the main drums

[Music]

equally listening to bollywood and

bengali music at home

especially folk bengali music this genre

finds its way into the soundscape

via the dotara a traditional string

instrument

and the tabla a traditional percussion

instrument from the region

[Music]

no stranger to self-doubt as i was

creating this instrumental

i began to wonder with this attempt at

being my own source of representation

would it only speak to me was this the

correct way to go about it

and why sup in music if i’m being honest

i feel this doubt in my medical pursuits

as well

i don’t know of nor have i come across

many bengali americans

who captured the whole of my identity as

a medical student

and a musician while asian americans are

certainly overrepresented in the

healthcare field here

it’s again rarely felt that way for me

the importance of role models and

representation therefore

cannot be underestimated i think that in

most of our endeavors we as humans and

as social people

we look to others for reassurance that

the path that we’re on

is attainable but how can you become

something

that you can’t see and for me the

question here

was how can i express something that i

have not heard before

what i realize is that there is no right

or wrong

way to express your hyphenated ethnic

identity

this identity like other identities can

be thought of as a spectrum

and everyone who identifies as such is

just somewhere along that spectrum

i had to remember that what was driving

the creation of this song

was the desire to make the kind of music

that i wish i had growing up here

as a bengali american if i felt that i

was achieving that

then there was no reason to think too

hard on who the song would ultimately

resonate with

speaking my truth on simultaneously

expressing both aspects

was sufficient and translatable enough

now the clearest division of fusion

music tends to be seen in the lyrical

structure

for example in a mashup the verse might

solely be in bangla

but the chorus might solely be in

english

i had spent so long thinking that there

was someone else out there

to be that source of representation i

knew

that the interplay of the languages used

in the lyrics was going to be critical

through that interplay i had to

demonstrate that i could be my own

source of representation

the way to do that was to have the

languages flowing freely between each

other

as seamlessly as possible so let’s take

a listen to what that sounded like

let me see your hands high sharp judy

action

having heard the influences from bengali

folk

american hip-hop and rap music and this

desired emphasis

on the seamlessness of the languages

used were left with the chorus of

amaderi’s same pride

my answer to the question of how to be

your own source of representation

is to find out what it is that resonates

with your people

for bengali americans and bengalis all

around the world

it’s the love of our language bangla

it’s a language spoken by so many

but built upon the sacrifices of so many

the bengali language movement and the

subsequent bangladesh liberation war

happened only a few decades ago as the

generations above

fought for the recognition and usage of

the language

and ultimately their independence this

is the source of our strength

and our pride and was the spark of

inspiration

for me to create a form of expression

that captured that

whole of my identity

as a finishing touch i reached out to

several creatives of bengali

origin to send in cameos for an

accompanying music video

for a song that spoke to the

representation that i wanted to hear

it was only right for the video to be

the representation that i wanted to see

ultimately amaderi saying pride featured

more than 20 different creatives

of bengali origin from musicians to

artists

singers and more i wasn’t sure what kind

of response i was going to get

but what i did get surprised me i didn’t

fully realize how much it meant to

people

to just experience the expression of

their identity

as i reflect this has driven me to

continue to chase the creation of that

experience

for more people in your own explorations

perhaps you’ll find similarly make no

mistake

a few months ago i was looking for the

blueprint elsewhere

but taking the time and space to

introspect has created a new sense of

purpose for me

to continue to learn how to not just be

what i can’t see

but the expression of that being

my challenge for you today is to expand

the forms of expressions that you create

to capture the whole of your identity

whether that be cultural

ethnic socioeconomic gender sexual

orientation

and others for me this was through music

what will it be for you