The Toolbox for Bystander Intervention

hello everyone

2020 has been a difficult year

and unfortunately instead of uniting to

face each new challenge

we have highlighted all of the ways

americans disagree

and don’t appreciate one another this

year

hundreds of thousands of people have

poured into the streets

asking for police reform but of those

peaceful thousands

there are some who have left damage in

their wake

and across the aisle others have taken

up arms in response

we have become so divided

that we’re willing to take even more

lives

that’s not who we are america

but i have hope and a faith in human

connection

that has brought me here today

i have come to speak to you as many

before me have

about our shared humanity and the idea

of intervening in someone else’s story

to help them find peace you can be

someone who reacts to the things that

happen around you

and the people they happen to

i’m a former law enforcement officer

i was a border patrol agent in texas and

i owe

a lot of my self-confidence fearlessness

and my desire to help others to my

experience as an agent

i respect and appreciate those who

choose to serve their communities

and uphold the law particularly those

who take humanity and equality with them

in the process

but i know our law enforcement is not

meeting the needs of our communities

right now

and has at times even failed them

entirely

so what can we do

well the road is long but to start

i believe we can engage with each other

more frequently

in those small moments of need we can

show up with our words and our actions

to check on each other ensure safety and

give support

we need more people who are willing to

acknowledge the things that are

happening around them

every day and bring humanity back to the

forefront

this is a challenge to accept what

intervention

can look like for you using tools you

already have

so to help you with that i’ve brought

with me

some tangible metaphysical tools to

share with you all

but before i do

i want to acknowledge that the people of

this great city

have a collective trauma associated with

bystander intervention

the double murder of two men and serious

injury of a third who stood up

to interrupt hate speech in 2017

sparked outrage and fear

this shared trauma might make

intervention

more difficult for portlanders

and as i share my stories today i honor

this loss

so let me tell you a story of my own

i have two dogs on one of our evening

walks not too long ago

we heard a man yelling in anger at

another man it was near a houseless

encampment

so i said to the puppies let’s walk over

and see if we can help

upon approaching there was a man

standing there holding a piece of metal

piping and shouting

that guy stole my stuff he stole my

stuff

the other man was actually walking away

at this point

he appeared upset but was no longer

engaging

my assumption was this man with a pipe

was willing to pursue him

in order to continue the conversation

i said that sucks i’m really sorry your

stuff was stolen

he said that guy stole my stuff he stole

my stuff and he threw it away

i said i believe you and i’m really

sorry that happened to you

he continued to yell at his assailant

and shook the pipe in the air

i said look

i’m worried that the cops might have

been called because you were standing

here yelling at each other

and they’re going to show up and see you

holding this pipe

i’m worried that they could see it as a

weapon and arrest you

i don’t want that to happen i don’t want

anyone to get hurt

he looked me straight in the eyes and

said

that guy stole my stuff and then he

dropped the pipe

i asked if we could help any further but

he declined already halfway across the

street

walking in the other direction the

puppies and i returned home

it’s possible that my intervention

prevented the violence that could have

occurred between these two men

or maybe it prevented the arrest of one

person who was just having a really bad

day

and at the very least it did show one

person

that someone was willing to listen

and you know what there are others

having even more important dialogues

right now

at one of the black lives matter

protests i attended

as a small group of people began to

vandalize city hall

one young black man said that’s not why

we’re here tonight

a passionate conversation between

several protesters took place

about the inefficiencies of direct

action

the same young man said if we want to

defund the police we have to begin to

police ourselves better

intervening and engaging in non-violent

dialogue such as this

creates a space for others to do the

same

the exchange of ideas allows for

understanding

and opens the door for actual change

i’m a member of the portland peace team

this is a group of volunteers who hold a

peacekeeping

grounded in non-violence at protests

marches

rallies in our city my academy training

and law enforcement experience

taught me to never hesitate in

responding to a call for help

and like the portland peace team it gave

me the opportunity to regularly engage

with my community

in order to do my job in the patrol i

was taught to use the tools on my belt

to assist me with my work

the portland peace team gave me the

opportunity to use my heart

and my mind as my primary resources

and those are some of the tools i’d like

to share with you today

so let’s take a moment to visualize

you have just decided to insert yourself

into someone else’s experience

to provide assistance so reach behind

you

and grab your toolbox

do you have yours in front of you now

let’s open it up

what do you think

uh this woman just gave me an invisible

empty box

okay your box is invisible but it’s not

empty

in fact it’s full of brightly colored

sturdy and useful tools

so i’m going to put mine over here

so before we go through these tools

don’t try to memorize each one as we go

but think of this as a journey through

your senses

with your heart and your mind as your

guide so

what do we have here

it starts with breath be mindful of your

body

and work to stay calm this is the most

important tool you have

when responding to any sort of stressful

or urgent event

honor your adrenaline but don’t let it

control you

and then it’s your sight

pay attention to the facts you see who’s

involved

what’s their body language is the

situation safe

intervention will always mean fully

seeing other people

and treating them with respect

so when that’s hard you can use this

next tool

a shelf this is a place to put any of

those triggers or reactive feelings that

get in the way

of being truly empathetic to another

person

this is a safe place to put your

judgments

anxieties and implicit biases

so learn your physical reactions

when you face something stressful these

feelings are normal

give yourself a break you can name them

acknowledge them

and then put them on your shelf to

address later in your self-care practice

the cool thing about the shelf is that

learning this tool

gives us the opportunity to react when

maybe we wouldn’t instinctually

to break down those gut reactions that

can limit us

i’m asking you to react thoughtfully

instead of instinctually

okay this next tool is my favorite

empathy empathy is the building block to

human connection

and i use a rose here to symbolize its

beauty and grace

think of empathy as giving a rose to a

total stranger

this person is worthy of your most

valuable gift

when we bring empathy into the room we

create a space for others to just be

in whatever moment or emotion or

situation they’re currently experiencing

and you can practice empathy every day

in those tiny gut reactions when you

read a news headline

or in conversations with your best

friend

we can become experts in seeing humanity

in

all people so tap into your own

experiences

moments when you’ve been vulnerable or

felt shame

maybe you weren’t your best or you

needed a hand

treat others the same way that you

needed in those moments

we can only get better at this

okay what else is in here

silence listen

don’t talk really listen to what is

actually happening

not what you think is happening listen

so that you can respond with authentic

compassion

even if you disagree with what is being

said

there are many times when intervention

will not require

any words from you it will just require

that you stand

up and interrupt the flow of what’s

happening

the number one thing that’s been asked

of me in moments of intervention

is to listen to someone who has

something to say

and no one to say it to

this next tool makes everything easier

the letter c c is all the words that

matter most for you to be completely

present

compassion calm centered

caring curiosity there are surprising

number of peaceful words

that start with the letter c this is a

commitment

be courageous and next

i give you a pocket mirror

this is a tool to use when and if you

speak

this is for validation give truth to

someone else’s experience

rather than isolation use your mirror

neurons to reflect

back to them that you see them believe

them

and they are valuable

and finally i threw in some hand

sanitizer

since you’re carrying it around anyway

these days due to cover 19.

let it remind you as a rule

we don’t touch someone who’s escalated

it can trigger them

at least not without their permission

you are showing up with your head and

your heart as your primary tactical

hardware

if you must use your body do so with the

intention to prevent

violence and know your limits

put your safety first when you intervene

i can’t guarantee that everything will

go smoothly or that you will change the

greater narrative but this is about

paradigm building

building a society or compassion and

empathy

define how we react and how we treat

each other

i don’t know what sorts of intervention

opportunities lay ahead for you

maybe you’ll get a goat unstuck from a

fence

or maybe you’ll push someone in a

wheelchair through an uphill

crosswalk maybe it’s a conversation

about why black lives matter

maybe it’s helping an intoxicated person

who’s sleeping on the sidewalk

or staying with the driver of a car

accident who’s upset

and not thinking clearly and maybe

it’s using your privilege to stand in

front of a counter protester

who’s shouting she has a bomb at a woman

wearing a headscarf these are some of my

experiences

i encourage you to add tools to your box

whenever you can

in the form of training education and

practice

in order to do this work we have to

exercise these tools

and break down our current gut reactions

that tell us not to get involved

and the ripple effect is a community

and america filled with people who are

genuinely looking out for one another

i’m asking you to be a first responder

in the smallest of ways

in your own communities families careers

and neighborhoods

i’m asking you to take this box with you

everywhere you go

and keep your compassion and empathy

always at the ready

i’m asking you to give a rose to anyone

who needs one

thank you for your time