Journey through life and overcoming a battle with self
a very good afternoon to all
so here we are today focusing on
something called
the warrior within
let’s go to let’s dig down
back to some of my favorite animated
movies how many
fans for animated movies i think some of
them make
more sense to me than any mainstream
feature film nowadays
inside out for those who watched it
you know exactly what i’m going to talk
about for those who don’t don’t worry
i’ll be summarizing it
so i know when we talk about warrior
within
the first movie that will come kicking
asses would be
my most favorite kung fu panda but
why are we talking about inside out
today
so it’s a 2015 film that has won
and bagged too many awards the same year
for being the best animated movie
academy awards golden globe awards let’s
see what message this actually
was trying to give about
11 year old girl named riley who was
transferring because of her father’s
work to another state and there she
realizes
that she has to completely go into
a new place leaving behind everything a
part of her childhood
from the home she was in to the the
salons
and pizzerias and her friends her
school her everything and she has to
settle down
in this new town that has a lot of new
people
for 11 year old girl i don’t think that
would seem like a great idea
so this movie highlights four or five
core emotions that riley is going
through
namely we have joy we have disgust
we have anger we have fear
and we have sadness like any of us
this tiny girl goes through all these
emotions inside her head
the director has done a beautiful job by
impersonating all of them and showing us
what these emotions actually do to us
so taking a leap from here
what voices do you hear do
i mainly hear two basic voices in my
head
when i’m having a thought process one
the evil side of me that’s telling me
what is the negative side of whatever
i’m going to do
what will be the problem what will be
the false and what
and how it’s not going to work out
there’s also an angel side an angelic
voice that tells me that
you know what shreya you can do it it
everything’s gonna settle down
it’s just for now that you’ll have to
put your brain straight ahead and forge
so just like every uh voice in my head i
feel like every
impersonated emotion that the director
has shown beautifully in this movie
there are two voices at times don’t you
feel that when you’re the happiest
you feel so demotivated you feel like
why is this happening to me isn’t it too
good to be true
don’t you start doubting being happy
that’s the demon that’s the voice that
tells you that
no come on this is just gonna be last
for a few minutes or
is it really happening to me but there’s
definitely a voice that will tell you
chuck everything come on enjoy the
movement
be happy live it like you should
there’s also fear that has this voice
that says
oh my god i’m scared of heights oh my
god i’m scared of deep waters i
am hydrophobic and every time i see
water that’s exactly how i look
but there is something in me that says i
have a bucket list where i’m going to
take off and i am going to jump down
a cliff skydiving or jet skiing and go
snorkeling like all my friends are
currently in more leaves
go snorkeling go dive deep in an ocean
that’s the other voice speaking and then
there’s anger
that says prove your point right now
end this conversation tell them that you
are right
but there’s also this voice come that
comes in and says
you know what calm down look at others
perspectives
look at different sides for now don’t
speak you’re too angry
and then there’s sadness looking at the
image itself i feel so sad
it says that oh my god this situation is
too negative
for me this is not supposed to be
happening
but there’s something that says you know
what
go ahead dust yourself and forge
because that’s where you’re supposed to
head towards happiness there’s some
light
in the tunnel there’s some silver lining
on the cloud
there are multiple emotions that a
person goes through
i did too i do as well right now
at this very moment i have multiple
emotions going in
going on in my head like all of us do
just to scroll through your instagram
can lead you to
various emotions there could be anxiety
there could be
jealousy there could be a lot of
comparison happening
which may lead to a lot of insecurity
procrastination something so simple that
i keep pushing unnecessarily and a lot
of confusion
with all the thoughts mixed up in my
head
and then there comes my favorite
laziness
this is the i think this is the most uh
famous emotion that we’ve been going
through
during covered so like i said
every uh voice that’s in my head
everything has two every emotion has two
sides to it similarly every emotion in
me
does have two sides a demon
and there’s a warrior that says
that you know what let’s uh
let’s think about the negative first and
then look at the positive
and that’s how i forge ahead so let’s
go back to some indian mythology
there they say that the timeline of this
world is divided into
four yugas one the satya yuka
the devlog and the asar lok having a
huge
war that is the evil and the world that
we currently live in
having a war amongst themselves and then
there was
a yoga where we had ramayana where the
rulers of two countries were having a
quarrel for whatsoever reason then we
had dwarf
where the same family had a good and an
evil side that was fighting that is the
pandavas and the korvas
and now we are in the kalga which is the
present
so who is the one who is fighting the
world wars
i don’t think so the kali yuga is where
we
have battles within ourselves
so there was a burden of thoughts in me
just last year january i remember
going to the doctor visiting the doctor
for a weekly dosage of
b12 my immunity was low being an
extrovert most of my life
i did not understand why i was not able
to
pull out my thoughts push it out of
myself and speak to
at least my mother who i always go up to
or my best friends who i would have a
telephonic conversation immediately
after
any situation but there was this cloud
of thoughts that i could not express
and everyone during my miscendia days
post
that or before that i was this bomb who
would create the party
scene or be the happy and the joyful
person that i am
but there was something that was
internally damaging me these
thoughts that were disturbing me and
then i thought you know what
last jan this was happening and for me
it was just getting very tiresome
so i said let me have the most perfect
escape plan there was a there was a time
during that the last year that i felt
that i was
victimizing my parents victimizing them
through
my emotions that i was going through
internally to a point where i know i’m
saying it with a smile to a point where
i wanted to give up on life
that took a turning turning for me
i was thinking for someone who saw who’s
motivating the others
how could i think of giving up on life
how could i even have a thought like
that it was easier than pulling myself
up for sure
and then with these cloud of emotions i
said you know what
let me just get out of this city let me
get out of this place that i
am in where everyone knows me let me go
to a place an unknown place that where
people won’t recognize i can start
a little afresh i was already fighting
battles outside
in regards to relationship in regards to
my career path
i felt like i was sorted anyone who sees
my
instagram or social media would feel
like yeah she sorted she just won
but then what what next was something
that was killing me inside my head
because i
set a bar way above way high for myself
that is not no one’s mistake so having
to do this
i decided okay there is a course in
london that i’ve been
longing to do for a long time so let me
get away for a month
i’ve asked one month’s break for my
parents
so last february i remember packing
myself
packing all my clothes packing
everything possible for
a month and getting my visa done all my
documents ready
and then march 2020 is when i fly
happiest escape from the thoughts
i didn’t know i would be carrying them
less did i know that but
i was so sure that i was going to leave
behind everything and take a break and
come back
travel is the best escape 2020
march i five hours from my flight
uh departure i get a call just before i
leave to the airport from london saying
that my relatives and friends say that
listen there’s something called a
lockdown happening
so why don’t you just step back and not
fly now
maybe a week later i said no my course
starts in a week
but they say that no it’s not the right
time to go
and i realized that okay i’ll have to
stay
back at the same place with my thoughts
this is this was what was going on in my
head more than going and joining a
course
i said okay let me do this let me
stay back and figure out what i can do
and therapy was one thing that i was
looking forward to
therapists my mother’s been looking for
therapists all over hyderabad my
hometown
and seeing where best can she send her
daughter who
is no more as joyful as she used to be
but then modi ji announces a complete
lockdown
where i say all right i have to live
with this not just in
my city but in my house in my room
locked all by myself
so self-healing didn’t really look like
an option but
there wasn’t another option for me left
and
as i got into the covered phase
i started i started thinking that there
has to be something more that i have to
do
i i started getting up early i started i
said let me try one of these
self-healing processes so i started
doing surya namaskara
there was yoga that i was indulging in i
started reading the bhagavad-gita
i didn’t know much of mahabharata back
then i started reading
and i said i started watching episodes
of mahabharata on
hot star and realized that i was super
furious with the pandavas there were
emotions that
were just kicking in i was getting angry
with arjun
i was yelling at them i was screaming i
was crying i was weeping when draupadi
was having her childhood
i didn’t know these emotions were
kicking me just because
there was so much built up in me which i
couldn’t even speak about
and then there came a phase where i said
okay
there is something that i have to deal
with that i have to
fight or that i have to live with
i said you know what i cannot live with
these it’s just getting
too difficult for me let me just see how
i can battle them
then came the phase where i was
self-healing looking into different
aspects
and thinking to myself that there are a
world of
not opportunities world of emotions that
i was going through that i had to tackle
each of them very tiresome but
thanks to covet that i was sitting and
listening to every thought that i had
was like a cloud that was passing by a
thin
cloud that had that was going through
with a heavy breeze
that i couldn’t hold and retrospect or
introspect
and this happens there were questions
that i was answering thinking am i even
worth it am i even sure of what i’m
doing
i want to teach i want to do some
service
am i all the nice things that everyone
says during my introduction i feel like
is it really me are they talking about
someone
like me who has multiple thoughts in her
head and
has been questioning her own self-worth
but don’t you answer questions like this
on a daily basis
why does this always happen to me why do
i postpone things this is a major
question i’m sure
every student has been answering and why
do they always get it right so
so insecure in our own mind
there is no one who’s telling us or
comparing us we ourselves are doing it
there was one small thing that i
caught on to i made the voice
of the warrior in me
louder than the one that had the demon
i just had to rise raise that volume
that small volume of the warrior and say
that you know what
demon chill let me handle but
thought by thought not at once i had to
tackle
each emotion differently another
quotation from my favorite movie
your mind is like water when it is
agitated
it becomes difficult to see but when you
allow it to settle
the answer becomes more clear so take
more time
just give yourself more time i know
you’re battling
issues outside you’re fighting with your
parents you’re fighting with your
friends
then you sit and think okay why don’t we
think from their shoes their point of
view
but how many demons are you dealing with
inside just introspect
let the warrior take control not the
demon on a daily basis
and it’s not something that happens once
i fought laziness back then and now you
think i’m the most active no
it’s a demon that i have to fight each
and every day
it had to be the quotation for those who
don’t know
had to be from my favorite movie kung fu
panda
thank you so much